Author's note: Hey everybody! Here we go again. Another chapter. Wow.

To all my loved ones, friends, coworkers, acquaintances, strangers, and master detectives:

I have lost my dearest love, my Rose and my rum. All right, let me start again. I have lost my two dearest loves, my Rose, my rum, and my pistol. I have lost my three dearest loves; my Rose, my rum, my pistol, and my mango-cherry scented bodywash. Alright, so maybe I didn't love my bodywash, but we were close and I think Rose might have left because of the smell.

So I am on a quest, of sorts. I quest to find my most darling Blossom. She is the most beauteous of maidens and I must force her to return to me. She is my treasure, my sweetest flower, who has gone and buggered off! So if any of you know where she is I demand you tell me her whereabouts. I DEMAND MY ROSIE!

Other than that, everything is gorgeous. Got a great tan, but it's Vegas so we all do.

Luv and Kisses,

Jack Morgan, Action Pirate

P.S. Never suck all the juice out of a vampire.

Paige,

No, I won't go to the meetings. Not until they move the out of that den of inequity. (Now, if it was a den of iniquity… but that wouldn't happen unless it was just you and I there.) Hmm, that gives me an idea. Are you free next Friday?

Anyway, Jack and the cheese is brilliant! I wish I had thought of that while I was in school, James and I would have pranked the Slytherin's with it. Ah well, too late now.

If Clayton won't tell you what we did, then neither will I. Well, don't worry about it, no one is going to retaliate. Except maybe the ferrets, but I wouldn't blame them. Tell him the petroleum jelly is still present but the ferrets have run away. I don't think they've ever had an experience quite like the one we gave them.

Plech! Ink tastes horrible! I'll have to talk to the Weasley boys and see if they can make me an ink that tastes better. Could you write to them and tell them what you taste like? That would be fucking fantastic! Of course, I'll have to get red ink then, so I could really give people a scare. Well... hmm. Which one would be scarier, me with my teeth stained red, or green?

That's all for now. I hope you're free next Friday night!

Sincerely yours,

Sirius

Jack,

Your pistol has been melted down and made into a belt buckle. It's a good thing, too, because I needed a new one. My old belt was a piece of rope. So, I thank you profusely.

Incidentally, I have recently discovered why you like rum so much. It's got a pleasant tingle as it goes down my throat, thank you for that as well.

Bodywash. Is that what that was? I thought it was some kind of odd muggle drink. Well, thanks, but no thanks. I already poured it down the drain.

As for Rose… it's about bloody time she left you, you barmy git! I guess the girl's not all fluff after all. Here's what I get for thinking she's just a bit of skirt who will go for anything. Never judge a book by its cover. (Fortunately, I have more to go on than what's covering her.)

Contentedly yours,

Sirius Black

Sirius,

I think you're missing out on some important stuff by refusing to go to Order meetings. Maybe it could be a den of iniquity if you'd show up. You'll never know unless you go… And I did already make plans for Friday night.

Jack's cheese experiment was not brilliant! It was absolutely idiotic! Good thing our lease is up soon, this place smells like some kind of rodent drug lord has set up shop. I hate cheese.

You and Clayton can both go to hell. That boy won't learn! He is intentionally getting himself (and me) into trouble! I'm currently staying at his house every night of the week with two other D.A.S. officers. If this keeps up, he's going to have more drastic measures taken. I hope it doesn't come to that, he needs to have freedom. I will, however, lock him in a closet if that's what it takes to make him behave.

Well, I'd better get back to work.

Hope to see you soon!

Paige

PS Please relay a message to Severus for me.

If a woman tells you "no, you mutant hairball," don't think that means you can get away with trying to force things on her that she doesn't want.

Thanks, babe!

Paige,

Snivellus will be sending you an extremely lengthy letter expressing his deepest apologies just as soon as he gets out of St. Mungo's. Apparently he had a run in with ahippogryph and somehowgot a rather large pewter goblet stuck in his nose.

Sirius

Author's note: Hehehe, Sirius got to have some fun. Erm, I mean, it was all happenstance. Yeah, that's it. Snape forced the cup up his own nose and stumbled into Witherwings... oh shut up. Now for reviews.

Messr-Paddifoots-love: Woot! One of our old reviewers has come back to haunt us! I mean... erm, yeah. We're doing a sequel, that's right. We just can't seem to stay away from these characters. You're straight! Damn, there goes my plans for the weekend... :p

Katarina McGonagall: Why, thank you. You're into voyeurism? Kinky... Anyway, the smell of fried chicken doesn't squick us, rather it squicks Prof and Rosi's mom. It comes out of this joke going between us about something their mom did... I'll get Prof to explain it. HA! I agree, Remus's mom is a freak. But then, couldn't we all say the same about ourselves?

Letishia Remus needs more than a hug, but we'll leave that up to Kate. Maybe you and Katarina could go watch?

K, that's all for now, people, we'll post again soon!

Ta ta.