Dedicated to J. L. Jewel. R.I.P

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Chris slowly stalked around the kitchen at the Manor. He was aimless. He didn't know what he wanted to do or what he was looking for. He knew he wasn't going to find it but he still looked for it. He went through the cupboards looking for something. What he didn't know but he still looked for that something as if it were his holy grail or something. He wanted something he just couldn't figure out what.

Well, he knew who he wanted, but Prue had made her point. Her point had been made and he had taken it. He just wanted to keep Jade safe. If that meant he had to maintain his distance he would somehow have to deal with that.

Right now he didn't know how. Right now, he wanted an exit to this situation and magic usually provided these exits. Of course, once he found it he didn't want to end up right back here where he had started. He just wanted to know that what he was going to do right now was going to actually do something right by saving Jade.

He just needed to know that if he was going to sacrifice ever knowing her it would be with a big reward. Like her being alive till she was an old granny or like it really did something to save her fate from dying young.

He found nothing though. A bunch of herbs were there, but he wasn't in the mood to fool around with magic at that moment. He was just making sure it was all there what he needed. He didn't want to do it now with everyone in the house still or coming home. He didn't want to get caught and then explain why he was trying to get a sneak peek into the future. His new improved future. He didn't really want to deal with magic right that day either after everything that had happened.

He just felt like crap.

He had for the whole day. Every minute he had been sneaking around in the hall trying not to see or if he did to avoid her at all costs. He had avoided his last two classes saying he was ill to the office assistants and since one of them had been in his history class before when he had fainted- He felt so lame right now to have fainted- had let him out of school hell in order to get rest and be better for the next day.

So he had went home early just so he didn't have to deal. At least, for one day he had a way out. This day of all days was the worst too.

This was that day the ball started rolling on their relationship.

Chris's head hung down, his shoulders were slouched as he ate the last of the captain crunch cereal he had made instead of doing the spell, and his mind was elsewhere when his mother came strolling into the kitchen with grocery bags in each arm.

Piper looked over at her brooding son and frowned. Then, after depositing her grocery bags onto the kitchen island, she checked his forehead to see if he had a fever. He didn't. So then she instantly pulled a chair up to the table in her assumption of it being an external problem that had gotten him down. Piper took the empty cereal bowl away from under him along with the empty spoon that he had been using to just swirl around in the leftover milk, and then she waited for him to look up at her.

He did. He did it reluctantly and slowly.

Piper had to admit she'd never seen her son so down before. He always was spazzing out or neurotic about something or other, but this... He didn't usually act like a lovesick kid before. He had never found any girl to be lovesick over. Piper guessed today was the day he had fallen for some girl and she was either so unattainable or else she had blown him off.

"Spill. What's up, kiddo?" Piper instantly asked gently.

"Mom," he whined not at all wanting to go into it with her at the present moment. If anything Chris just wanted to crawl beneath a rock and die somewhere else far from his family. He just couldn't get how she thought talking about his problems would really save him from them. It never had before. He was just stuck. He couldn't even save himself from losing the only girl he had ever really been in love with.

"Don't mom me. I see a very unhappy camper and I would like to know what's wrong? You're not sick. You don't have a fever. So what is up, Chris?" she asked more seriously this time as her dark eyes worriedly pierced into his.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" she grunted then waved her hand at the answering machine. "Chris, you came home early from school. You never do that. Then, here you are depressed over something and taking whatever it is out on yourself. How is there nothing wrong?"

"Look, I don't want to talk about it right now. Is it that hard of a concept to get? I had a bad day and I just want to be alone. So why don't you leave me alone!" Chris blew up at her as he threw back his chair and stalked towards the basement door.

Piper sat in the chair opposite of him gaping. She watched the profile of his leaning back as he walked to the door and then she shook her head. "Fine, you deal with it on your own. Go brood elsewhere then because I have supper to get ready."

Chris looked back at his mother with his hand on the basement door and his eyes scanning the floor for a moment as he tried to apologize to her for being such an ass. The words didn't come as he looked over at her though. He felt horrible already knowing everything he had or hadn't done that day. The last thing he needed was for his mother to be angry with him or let down by him doing what he had done. He didn't want that on his conscience along with everything else.

"Mom, look. I'm sorry."

"I get it. You're a teenager. You're moody. When you want to talk you'll talk. Now go. Get your homework done or something." she replied shooing him away.

Chris watched his mother pull her long dark brown soft hair into a lopsided ponytail and then nodded. He turned to go. He looked the cereal bowl and spoon on the counter from where she had taken it. It was his favorite cereal bowl. A dorky as that sounded it was. It wasn't going to be for long.

Something kept nagging him at the back of his memory but he couldn't quite figure it out so he didn't. Instead he started down the basement stairs to his sanctuary of a room.

He was halfway down the basement stairs when he remembered that this was the day the Chalker arrived. The Chalker was a demon. A demon that sucked the life out of its victims. It had attacked his mother when had been coming in from school. Chris instantly ran back up the stairs taking them two at a time and came back into the kitchen to see his mother backing away.

He heard Wyatt unlocking the back door slowly talking to someone as he did. Chris didn't have to worry about that person though. He remembered Wyatt was on his cell telling his news to his would be girlfriend. Instead of waiting for Wyatt to show up fully and realize what was happening like last time, he used his telekinetic power to get the salt shaker off the kitchen counter and he used his telekinesis to send it flying at the demon.

He had just gotten lucky today by remembering the easiest demon ever to vanquish had attacked his mother while he was there.

The demon hissed and went up in a swirl of flames as the salt poured out over its red body. His mother took a breath and gave him a smile. "Wow, how'd you know?" she asked as she brushed her clothes off.

Chris looked at her nonchalantly. The last thing he needed was her to figure out he was reliving the dame day over again. Instead, he decided the best thing to do right now was play it off like he remember the demon from the Book of Shadows. That would be the easiest excuse plus he could get brownie points for it.

It wasn't like he didn't want to tell her though. He did want to tell her the truth. He wanted to say that he had relived that day before and he remembered it pretty well since it had been all in all a good day the first time he had relived it. He wanted to tell her that he had come back in time because of a spell her favorite deceased sister had given him just so he could save the girl of his dreams only to lose her again, but instead of a real explanation he just shrugged his shoulders.

He didn't have to worry about any other questions coming from her since right then Wyatt came plunging through the back door. His floppy dirty blond curled hair bouncing as he swaggered through the door and gave them all a huge grin. "Guess what?" he cried as he saw them all together. It was like a bonus for him to tell both his mother and his brother at the exact same time the inevitable good news coming to him.

Chris didn't even care at that moment. Chris just wanted to kill his brother for being so damned chipper when he wasn't. When he was stuck here in hell replaying his life again and giving up the person he loved while Wyatt was the poster child of success. It made Chris want to puke. So he did the worst. He answered for him taking away Wyatt's precious news before he could tell them. "You got on the football team. Head Quarterback."

"Wow, Chris. How'd you know?" Wyatt asked as he dropped his heavy blue and white backpack down on the ground with a thud.

Wyatt just stood there surprised he knew. Chris just couldn't take it. His own brother was having the best day of his life ever. He had made it on a team he liked and wanted to be on forever and he was the head quarterback. He was going to be the new star of the school and everyone already loved him. Hell, Chris couldn't even fully hate his brother for being so lucky. He was so happy too at that moment and that just threw Chris off worse since he was at an all time low.

Chris couldn't handle it anymore he gave his older brother a look and then walked out of the kitchen.

Piper watched him go confused. She looked over at a more confused Wyatt and then back at the doorway to the basement where Chris had went to barricade himself in his room. Something was definitely wrong with him, but if she knew Chris well then she knew he would keep it to himself and brood and become even more neurotic with it over time. There was nothing she could do to help that. Not unless he came to her to talk to her about it since he was all so tight lipped abut everything.

Something also did not make any sense with him at the moment and yet a few things were starting to add up as she stared at the empty doorway. He had known the demon was there before she could scream for him, he had known how to kill him, and then he had known that Wyatt was going to be on the football team.

Piper smiled for a moment as she realized what it was. Chris had finally got a new power. Of course, it wasn't eh power he wanted. He wanted a good active power and instead it seemed that he had received the power of premonition. No wonder he was so moody and he had had to come home early from school.

Poor Chris. Later on she would have to make him his favorite peach cobbler. Maybe, that could cheer him up a little.

She finally looked over at her oldest son with a firm smile and a quick hug as she decided to leave it be for now and talk to Chris. That was she would know for sure.

"Congratulations." she told Wyatt chipperly and brought him over to sit down and tell her everything.

Chris heard this as he made his way into his room, but he didn't care at all. Instead, he went into his room. He had it painted a dark blue color that was so close to black it was digusting. His brother had made fun of him for being a closet Goth when he had chosen the color. He had thought it was a nice change from the kiddie balloon and dinosaur wallpaper he had had since he was a baby. So, he had picked it.

He had Christmas lights everywhere on everything lighting the room. He flopped down on his black bed and took a few breaths. Feelings of murdering his perfect brother left his body as he looked around the room. Everywhere. She had been everywhere in his room she had read his small book collection. She had thumbed through his c.d. collection and she had laid in his bed.

She was everywhere. She was his ghost. He might as well have been going crazy.

He remembered it all. It hurt as the memories of things he should have been doing right then with her rushed around him and disappeared. It hurt him more then words and he was so angry that he had to let it go as if it didn't mean anything at all.

Chris dropped to the bed when he was tired of throwing things around that she had liked or touched or seen. He didn't feel better he felt worse. He looked down at an empty picture frame that had been torn into a thousand fine glass pieces.

He just let his head drop into his hands and he cried like there was no tomorrow. Which in his case with Jade there wouldn't be.

She was there again. She was smiling up at him warmly as she modeled her prom dress for him and posed like a model in vogue. He couldn't fix his tie quite right and he was slightly annoyed. He tried to get her to do it but she didn't know how either so she just threw it off of him and went outside towards the limo.

Chris had given up on the tie then and followed her outside into the sunset world. There he found the people on the dance floor. She was leading him out knowing he hated dancing. She didn't care though. They started dancing as he tried to not step on her feet. Some old love song came on and she belted it out singing to him as he looked around himself trying to pretend he was embarrassed.

They were in the car on the way home. He was laying in her lap tied. She was comfy. He started to doze off as she looked out the window at the dark midnight world around them..

It had been the best time he'd had with her. But soon he wouldn't remember it. Soon, it would be robbed of him until he was created into somebody else who didn't know her at all. Soon, everything and all his memories would be replaced.

She'd disappear from his life then literally.