Hello everyone! I've finally finished this chapter. Sorry for the wait. Hope you enjoy it!

Heart in Turmoil

The king's party had all mounted and prepared to leave the Gray Havens the next morning. Gilraen found herself surrounded by the Lorien guard as soon as she had mounted her mare. Looking about at the elves surrounding her, she felt suddenly conscious of her new status among them. She wished that Celeborn had prepared her for this before he had left. She felt unsure of what was expected of her.

Aragorn sensed her dilemma as they set out and turned his horse to ride next to his daughter's. He knowingly looked at her and said, "How goes the new Lady of Lorien?"

"I'm not sure," Gilraen answered. "What is expected of me Ada?"

"Your situation reminds me of my own Gilraen, when I was first made King of Gondor," her father mused. "I too worried of what the people expected from me. But times were different then. There was so much to do, so much to rebuild after the war. It is easy to think that you have to solve all problems yourself, but that is not the truth."

Gilraen looked at her father as he spoke. "What is the truth?"

"The truth is that there are many others who can do many tasks much better than you yourself can. And you should allow them to," Aragorn smiled at his daughter. "You are not alone Gilraen. You will find those that can help you in many different ways. You need only to ask for it."

"Thank you Ada, you have put me more at ease," Gilraen said. "Celeborn said that there would be those there to help me, but I worried nonetheless."

"That is why you shall do well daughter, of that I have no doubt," Aragorn said. "You do not have to go to Lorien yet if you do not wish it. Minas Tirith is still your home and I would keep you near me but that will be your choice."

"I will think on it Ada," Gilraen replied. "The journey is long, I can ponder this."

"Of course," Aragorn agreed. "Perhaps you should send some of your guard back to Lorien to tell of the news. They will want to know of Celeborn's journey and of the new Lady of Lorien."

"Yes, that sounds wise," said Gilraen. She most definitely didn't mind losing some of the over protective elves surrounding her.

Oooooooooooooooooo

Two days later, when they reached the outskirts of Bree, Gilraen had to say farewell to Elladan, Teslan and Mendir. She tried to be brave about it but she couldn't help the feeling of great loss. "You must come to stay with me," Gilraen pleaded.

"Perhaps you can send word if you go to Lorien and we may visit you there," Teslan said. "I would love to stay in Lorien."

"You would always be welcome to stay with me," Gilraen said as she hugged her cousin.

Teslan lowered her voice and said, "Lorien is closer to Mirkwood than Minas Tirith." Gilraen smiled secretly at her cousin as she knew she was thinking that perhaps Legolas was in Mirkwood.

The Rivendell party left for the east and Gilraen had sent three of her guardsmen on to Lorien ahead of them. There were so many in the King's party that travel was slow and there was much opportunity for conversation along the way.

Elfwine rode close to Gilraen much of the time, despite the protective glances of the guardsmen surrounding her. "We will be neighbors you know," he said one day. "Rohan is not far from Lorien. Perhaps you can visit me and I can visit you. And you are always welcome to stay in Edoras when you travel between Minas Tirith and Lorien."

"Thank you Elfwine," she replied. "I would enjoy a visit."

The journey south was pleasant as they took their time. The evening camp was always filled with song and merriment and Gilraen enjoyed the simple pleasures of being with her siblings and friends. In the evening she always tried to find a time in which she could wander off and be alone for awhile. Though her guards were reluctant to let her do so, they respected her wishes for this private time.

One such evening as twilight fell, she sat alone by a brook and thought about Legolas and how it had been a year since she had seen him last. Was he searching for her now? She knew that a traveling party as large as the King's would not be easy to miss. Had he healed his hurts enough to be with them once again?

She closed her eyes and recalled his face in her mind and the feel of his fingers as they caressed her cheek, the deep blue of his eyes which seemed to darken when he gazed at her. She recalled the way his lips felt when he kissed her. Gilraen raised her hand to her lips and smiled slightly. These things she would never forget.

"Gilraen?" said a voice behind her, disrupting her from her memories. She turned her head and watched Elfwine as he approached her where she sat. "May I sit with you?"

She nodded at him and gave him a small smile.

"It is a lovely spot," Elfwine said as he sat down next to her and looked around.

"Yes, it is," Gilraen said.

Elfwine looked at her glowing face in the twilight and he felt bursting with emotion. She was so beautiful and serene. He watched as her lashes closed and she took a deep breath. She seemed to be a part of nature, like one of the flowers that grew next to the brook. He wondered what she was thinking of, what thoughts were flowing through her mind as she sat there with her eyes closed. He couldn't seem to help himself as he felt an invisible pull towards her lovely face. He bent slowly forward and placed his lips softly on hers and kissed her sweetly. Then he backed away only slightly as she slowly opened her eyes and gazed at him.

His glance fell to the delicate hands on her lap and he took them in a soft grip. Looking back in her eyes he softly said, "Gilraen, you are everything my heart has ever desired. I think you know that I have loved you from the first day I had laid eyes upon you. It was a child's love then, but now it is a man's love I am offering you. I would like…"

Gilraen had stopped his words with her fingers on his lips. Her eyes watered as she shook her head and said, "Do not say it, do not." She dropped her hand and he continued to look at her in question. "I cannot give you what you seek."

Elfwine closed his eyes as if he were in pain. When he opened them again, a fiery light flashed in their depths as he said, "Is it because of him?"

She raised a hand to his cheek, "Elfwine, I…"

He quickly stood up as if he was burned by her touch. "Do not touch me. Where has he been, your love? Where is he?"

Gilraen knew he was hurt by her rejection. "Please, Elfwine, I want to tell you that …"

"No! Do not tell me anymore. He leaves you! He leaves you and yet you still want him! Did I not warn you that he would not stay by your side?"

Gilraen looked at the ground. His words struck a sensitive spot within her. "He will return," she softly murmured.

Elfwine sighed and placed his hand over his eyes, trying to calm himself down. He did not mean to hurt her in this way. Once again his emotions had took his self control. "I'm sorry Gilraen. I did not mean to shout at you. I am ashamed of my behavior."

Gilraen rose to her feet and stepped up to him. "Elfwine, my life has become very complicated of late."

"I know this," he said with a sigh. "I do not mean to put more decisions at your feet. Can you forgive my impatience?"

Gilraen took his hand and said, "You have been a dear friend to me. I cannot see what my future holds but I know that I cannot be hasty with my decisions." She let go of his hand and turned towards the brook as she said, "Perhaps time will prove you right Elfwine, though it hurts my heart to believe it. If Legolas does not return to me…" She could not finish her sentence for thought of it pained her heart.

Elfwine could feel her pain. "He would be a fool not to." He stepped up behind her and said softly. "I am not without patience Gilraen, though it certainly seems like it. I will wait however long it takes."

He began to walk away and he heard her say, "I'm sorry."

Elfwine turned to face her again and replied, "Do not be sorry. I will respect whatever decision you make."

Gilraen's heart felt heavy for the disappointment she sensed in Elfwine. She truly did care for him a great deal. She looked at the sinking sun and began to wonder if maybe Elfwine was right. Would Legolas return to her?

When she returned to her tent that evening she didn't feel in the mood to speak to anyone. If only she could be sure of Legolas. It just seemed so long ago. A year seemed terribly long. As she closed her eyes and began to drift off to sleep a dream swept her away to a place she remembered. It was the place by a river in Lorien where she was first shown how to read Celeborn's memories. Now in her dream she saw Celeborn once again, sitting on the same bench, waiting for her to approach.

"Your heart is heavy child," Celeborn said. "Why do you put yourself in this place?"

"I cannot see clearly Grandfather, I am lost," Gilraen replied. "Where do I belong?"

"To yourself Gilraen," Celeborn said. "Come to Lorien child. There is knowledge in every stone, every tree and in the very air. If you seek clarity, you will find it here."

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

As they neared the mountain trail that would lead to Lorien, Gilraen had made up her mind. "Ada," she told her father, "I am going to Lorien."

Arwen looked at her husband in surprise. They did not expect Gilraen to leave them so soon. She had seemed so reluctant before and now she seemed so sure of her decision.

"You do not wish to go to Rohan first? There will be many diversions there I am sure," Aragorn said. He really did not plan on going over the mountains to Lorien as he thought Gilraen would return to Minas Tirith, at least for now. She was so young to have a realm, even though he trusted that she would be well cared for by all there.

Gilraen could easily read his thoughts. "You do not have to take me there Ada. I have many guards to watch over me. I know that you have tarried in the North and are anxious to return to the South Kingdom. You must do what you must. And I must go to Lorien."

Aragorn sighed in indecision, "Daughter, you are young yet. I am…" He was stopped by the Queen's hand on his arm.

"She will be safe in Lorien," Arwen stated.

Gilraen looked at her mother in appreciation. "Thank you mother," she said. "I have a strong need to go there."

"I know," smiled Arwen. "You are not a child anymore Gilraen, though your years may say otherwise. I see your strength and your wisdom."

Aragorn still felt uneasy about letting Gilraen go. "I want you to send word to Rohan as soon as you arrive in Lorien."

"I shall," Gilraen agreed.

"How long do you wish to stay in Lorien daughter?" Aragorn asked.

"I have not thought on that. I only know that I need to be there. It is a pulling on my heart and mind that I cannot ignore," Gilraen replied.

Aragorn knew his daughter had many gifts and he was not one to question elvish wisdom in any form. It was only his protective fatherly instincts which gave him pause. "I do not wish to part company from you Gilraen. I feel as if I have just received you back after all your years away. But I will respect your decision, even if it pains my heart to do so."

"Lorien is much closer than Rivendell, Ada," she smiled. "Do not think I will keep away from Minas Tirith for long. I do not mind journeys in the least."

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The next morning Gilraen said her farewells to her family and promised to send word to them as soon as she reached Caras Galadon. Elfwine took her hand in his and placed a kiss upon it as he said, "You know where I shall be, if you should need me, neighbor." He gave her a look that spoke of many things. She knew he meant that he'd be waiting for her.

Once again Gilraen found herself winding up the rocky trails of the mountain pass, her guard in front and behind her. She could sense Fireal's happiness the closer they came to Lorien. Fireal had missed the forest of her home. Gilraen reflected on all they had been through together and was grateful for such a good friend and companion. She was also glad that she would not have to part from Fireal now that she was Lady of Lorien. That was a parting she had originally dreaded as Fireal had been much like a mother to her all these years of being away from Minas Tirith.

At the top of the mountain, Gilraen could see the King's party in the far distance to the southwest. "Goodbye for now," she whispered. Then she turned her face to the opposite side and saw the sea of trees which made up Lorien down below. She let out a deep sigh and said, "Well, here I come."

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Coming Up: Gilraen arrives in Lorien. Also, where has Legolas been and what are his plans? Find out next time.

Please review this chapter. I'd love to hear from you!