Attack of the Clowns
Disclaimer: Same as before…sorry, I've been away on other projects. I'll be back on this one as often as possible.
AN: Bold denotes spoken French.
AN2: This takes place after Red Witch's The Old Moron and the Sea.
"Bollocks." Demerest groaned, as he felt someone shake his right arm, "What?"
"Hey Creed, hate to interrupt your little cuddling session, but we've got trouble." Althea said.
"What's going on?" Demerest asked.
"Somebody just cut the power." Althea replied.
Camille woke suddenly, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. She could see Creed had just pulled the pistol from its concealed hiding place. Everyone in the house had just awakened, all the adults were carrying weapons, and the mutants were fanning out into a defensive perimeter.
"Stay close to me." Creed said to Camille. Wordlessly she nodded.
"Perimeter defenses?" Shipwreck shouted upstairs.
"Operational, dad." Quinn shouted.
It was then the attack came, swiftly and suddenly. One moment everything was tense and silent, and the next flares began firing off, lighting up the skies and exposing several COBRAs and FOH militia sneaking across the lawn.
"Send in the clowns!" Daria shouted.
"Die! Die! Mutant hunters!" Quinn shouted.
"Shipwreck, do you think Trinity should have designed the perimeter security system?" Spirit said as he watched through the night vision binoculars.
"You IDIOT!" Firefly shouted at Maurice, he had tripped a wire that caused several flares to go flying everywhere.
"OOF!" Earl shouted as the tire swing on the front lawn swung around and bashed him in the stomach.
"Aww…" said Monkeywrench, "Isn't that cute. A little clockwork clown…"
In the flares' dying light he could see a model of Bozo the clown on the ground. He picked it up and it immediately sprayed concentrated skunk stink into his face.
"AAGGH!" he shouted.
"Uh…Firefly?" Lester said, "Is it a bad thing that an army of those little clown thingies are heading right for us?"
Firefly, was currently spraying Monkeywrench with the garden hose to try and stop his complaining about the stench, said, "Yeah, it is a bad thing…what kind of moronic question is…YIPE!"
He turned and saw hundreds of little clockwork clowns heading his way saying, "Let's play and be friends…"
As the clowns spoke, bizarre attachments began to come out of their arms and bodies. The bizarre attachments in question ranged from tiny buzz saws, Taser shock prods, flame thrower nozzles, and tiny dart throwers.
"Oh bollocks…" Ripper groaned as the clowns advanced at their childlike but steady gait. The COBRAS and FOH men fired their weapons, but the clowns kept advancing and as they turned to run they heard a loud recorded clown laugh over the breadth of the lawn and saw even more clowns come forward, playing a digitized version of It's a Small World.
"OK, plan 7 Delta, now!" Maurice dramatically declared.
"Oh, what, fearless leader, is plan 7 Delta?" Firefly asked, in a sarcastic tone.
"PANIC!" Earl, Lester, and Maurice all shouted.
"Run! Run! Run!" Buzzer shouted, his arms in the air, as a couple circular saw blade wielding clowns chase him around the lawn.
"What's going on out there?" Roadblock asked.
"Roadblock," Shipwreck replied, as he peered out the window through the night vision goggles, "You don't want to know. Trust me it isn't pretty…"
Screams of the Dreadnoks and FOH members could be heard outside as the clowns clobbered them.
"AGGHHH!" Lester shouted as a clown with a pair of scissors for hands chased him across the lawn.
"OW! Hot buns! Hot buns!" Torch shouted as he ran around the lawn with his butt on fire, courtesy of a flame throwing clown.
Road Pig was fighting with a half dozen clowns that begun climbing all over him. Several of the tiny machines were on fire or smashed apart, but more of them kept coming.
"Nathaniel," Camille asked, as her cameraman filmed the spectacle through a night vision camera, "Exactly how much time does 'Trinity' have on their hands to make such things?"
"Obviously too much." Demerest replied.
"Not the lightning! Not the lightning! AAAGGGHHH!" Ripper shouted as three clowns were zapping him with several thousand volts of electricity.
"Normally that's my line." Shipwreck quipped, as the clowns chased Ripper around and continued to electrify him.
"Daria, are you sure it was wise to take some clowns from the backyard?" Quinn asked.
"Of course…" Brittany replied.
"OW! Oh mama they got me!" Ripper shouted as a clown kicked him a particularly sensitive area. He fell like a shotgunned bird to the ground.
Little did the Misfits know that they were in for a real surprise…
Firefly had leapt through the upstairs window from a tree in the back yard. He'd sent the others right into the teeth of the defenses, those horribly disturbing clockwork clowns. Behind him was a very familiar face to the Misfits, Duncan Matthews. Firefly opened the window and gestured to the FOH man.
"You're too kind…" Duncan began with a nasty grin, "I've wanted to get these freaks back for a while now…"
Duncan wandered into the hall, the gun in his hands held at the ready and right into an electric shock…
"YEOWW! OWWW! WWOOWWW!" Duncan shouted as the electrical webbing belonging to none other than Spyder.
"Face the wrath of Spyder, Duncan! This is for what you did to Lance…" Spyder replied, putting more voltage through the web.
"That's enough, brat." Came a whispered voice. It was followed by a sharp prick. And then blackness.
"Get her out of here, fast!" Firefly said sharply.
"Why should I care about this mutie…"
"Mindbender's gonna wanna see this one." Firefly replied.
"Mindbender's not gonna see anyone." Lina Chakram replied from down the hall.
Duncan fired a dart at her and she merely flung her wings into it's flight path. "These wings can't be pierced by your darts. Better luck next time…"
"Thought you'd never ask." Firefly replied and fired a net of weighted and charged electrical cables from a weird looking rifle that he'd unslung while Duncan tried his hand at fighting Lina.
"Get these two out of here." Firefly ordered two Vipers that came in after them.
"AWK! They're inside! They're inside!" Polly squawked as he flapped downstairs.
Immediately Spirit, Lance, Shipwreck, and Blob charged upstairs. They came up in time to see two Vipers and Firefly carrying the limp forms of Spyder and Lina out the window. And to see a very familiar face.
"Matthews?" Lance said, "I might've known you were mixed up in all this!"
"Alvers?" Duncan said, "I might have known I'd find you with the trash."
"Get your hands off my sister!" Lance shouted and created a tremor that shook the house violently, cracking a hole in the floor underneath Duncan's feet trapping him up to the waist, his legs kicking violently above the living room.
It was too late. Firefly had taken the girls out to a van parked behind the backyard. Lance howled with rage, they weren't fast enough.
"Wait!" Shipwreck said, as he aimed one of his two Desert Eagles at Duncan's forehead, "We do have a lead…"
"I'll never talk…" Duncan began.
Tied to a chair in the kitchen, Duncan said, "I'll never talk. And get that f$&#g camera out of my face!"
"This is becoming rather bothersome." Nathaniel began.
"After the abduction of two of their teammates, two innocent girls, the Misfits are attempting to rescue them."Camille began, as her cameraman filmed, "And here is one of the brutes from Friends of Humanity. The FOH has been involved in the disappearance and deaths of many mutants over the years…"
"Hey, what's she saying..?" Duncan demanded.
"She's saying what a brutish pig you've been. And what your little organization represents." Arcade replied.
"Hint, mate, I don't think you'll be overly popular in France." Creed replied, "Though it doesn't seem that you were overly popular to begin with."
"Guys, he hasn't said anything all night. Lina and Spyder could be in pieces right now, and I want to be spared the sight." Roadblock said, as he called Creed aside.
"I've tried everything but putting electrical wires to his bollocks and putting a charge through it." Creed replied.
"Can we electrocute him now…" Trinity pleaded from upstairs, holding a cattle prod and an assortment of electrical leads.
"Absolutely not!" Creed and Roadblock shouted back.
"See, you can't do anything to me." Duncan said, "I'm not saying anything. They're with Mindbender now! He'll put them to good use!"
Roadblock sighed and put his hand on the kitchen counter. His hand came into contact with a certain CD case. It had the words Martian Hop written on it.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking…" Roadblock began.
"Perhaps, but the press is too nearby." Creed replied, whispering back.
"Well, I'd use that British charm." Roadblock said, "Please don't make me twist your arm."
"Right mate." Nathaniel replied.
Roadblock motioned to Spirit and picked up the CD. The pair led Duncan off to the basement as he struggled mightily against Roadblock's powerful hold.
"I hoped not to resort to this..." Roadblock whispered in his ear.
"HELP! Police brutality!" Duncan shouted.
Camille turned toward Creed, "What's going on?"
"Am I on record?" Nathaniel Demerest asked.
"No." Camille replied.
Demerest was still wary. The idea of torturing a prisoner, even if it was a scumbag like Duncan, was repulsive to say the least. Then again, he was sure Roadblock wasn't about to resort to something like that.
From the basement the opening of the Martian Hop playing full blast could be heard. Spirit and Roadblock walked out of the basement.
"The prisoner?" Camille asked in English, the camera turned towards the two men.
"We left him downstairs in decent comfort to think about a few things. We even left him some music…" Roadblock began.
"EEEE…" could be heard from downstairs.
Five Hours Later: "I'll talk! I'll talk! Just PLEASE TURN OFF THAT SONG!" Duncan could be heard screaming from downstairs.
"Roadblock," Cover Girl said, "Could you go down there and talk to the guy. I can't take any more of his whining."
Roadblock walked downstairs and brought back a handcuffed Duncan who was muttering, "The horror. The horror. Please mommy make the Martians stop…"
"I think he'll be more inclined to cooperate right now…" Roadblock said menacingly.
TBC (I'll try to come up with more, but hopefully this should tide you over for now…)