A/N: Still don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, nor the characters. Shigumo, Shade, and random thugs do belong to me, for what they're worth. On with the fight!

Scrimmage

"Are you sure you're up to this?" First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye asked.

Edward Elric sent her and annoyed glare. "I wouldn't have said yes if I wasn't," he replied, hoarsely.

Lieutenant-Colonel Maes Hughes chuckled. "Teenagers. I just can't wait until my daughter reaches that age. It will be a blast, I'm sure."

Riza rolled her eyes. "Whenever you're ready, Edward. And take care."

"Yes ma'am." Edward saluted her, though she ranked below him. He headed down the alley, steadily despite his limp.

Riza and Maes counted silently, then started after him. Riza had a handgun ready. Maes's right hand bristled with more than a few throwing knives. The wooden fence posed little problem, as both were agile enough the make it through the hole, but the narrow alley beyond it was daunting. Riza went first, handgun leading. Maes followed, keeping a careful rearguard. He paused when Riza did, and both waited for the action to start.

Edward limped out to the middle of the cul-de-sac, blonde head bared. Unfortunately for him, the trip on the uneven pavement was not the faked one he'd planned on. He landed heavily, injured knee twisted beneath him. He sat up, rubbing his skint elbow and cursing vividly. He glanced up, feeling fear creep along him, when a heavy female voice spoke.

"Oh, back again for some more fun?" Shade laughed, just a little. She paced around him, leering. "Hey boys, look who's back!"

"Hmm, it's the blondie," one man laughed.

Like vultures around putrid meat, so came the homeless bums and criminals. Edward recognized some faces among the thickening ring. He flinched when a loud, certain voice pushed boldly into the din. "Move over, I want a look!" Shigumo elbowed his way into the ring. He smiled when he saw Edward. "Well, well, blondie. Back for more?"

Edward acted swiftly. He slapped his hands together, and felt the alchemic charge race through him, heat and energy snapping his body to full alert. Ducking a hand that swung at him, Edward slammed his palms against the pavement, pulling stone and earth into a caging fence. The transmutation was half-way done when a hand caught him by the braid, hauling him up and back. Edward let out a pained cry as he was flung bodily against his half-finished fence. His cracked ribs flared into brilliant agony as he hit. He thought he felt them give way give a little bit more.

The roar of a battle joined raged around him. He could hear the peculiar sounds of individual ranking officers fighting. The whiz and keen of knives told him that Lieutenant-Colonel Hughes was fighting for once. He heard First Lieutenant Hawkeye's gun echo off several rapid reports; it was odd how he could pick her gun out of the many of the soldiers. The roar of "Behold my body!" informed him that Major Lewis Armstrong was within the fray as well.

As Edward dazedly fought to rise, a solid boot crashed against his ribs and sent him tumbling aside. Through gasping half-breaths and darkening vision, he saw the criminal Shigumo stride forward, bare hands reaching for him. Despite his now-broken ribs, Edward flinched back. He bumped unexpectedly into a solid leg. A shiny boot planted firmly beside his knees. Above his head, clear through the noise, came the sharp snick of someone snapping. Immediately flames roared to life over Edward's head, heating the air around them so swiftly that it boomed like thunder. Shigumo had very little chance indeed against the Flame Alchemist, Colonel Roy Mustang.

Edward looked up, and saw the man's face set firmly, glistening with sweat despite the coating of ash on his cheeks. The heated air from Roy's attacks sharply counteracted the winter chill, until Edward found himself almost too hot. For Roy did not move from his position over his wounded comrade, stubbornly maintaining his defensive stance. Behind him, Edward could hear Riza's gun, the woman keeping Roy's back safe. Edward, overcome by his broken ribs, quietly passed out before the short massacre ended.

The scrimmage at Tramp's Hole became something of legend before the day was out. People who had never even been near were spouting off the details. Naturally, most of these were exaggerated fiction. The story, however, had put the military's status among the common people into a shining light. Colonel Roy Mustang was especially everyone's darling, as his heroic action of avenging and protecting his comrade, besides eliminating several dangerous criminals, had been shouted from one end of Central to the other.

Colonel Roy Mustang himself, less than a day later, lounged in a chair by Edward Elric's hospital bed, reading newspaper articles aloud in a lazy drawl, much to the amusement of his companions.

"Oh, nice headline," he chuckled. " 'Military Reprehension at Tramp's Hole.' No picture, but you can't have everything."

"Well, what are they saying you've done now?" Edward asked grumpily from the confines of his bed.

"Anything, niisan, I'm sure," Alphonse Elric replied, laughing a little.

First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye smiled wryly. "To hear them tell it, there were over a hundred men he defeated single-handedly."

"All the while weeping for the crime committed against his comrade in arms," Winry Rockbell dramatized, her tone perhaps more suited to a romantic story rather than a daring rescue.

"Yeck, if that's what they say, then I'm sorry I asked," Edward snorted.

"Oh, this is a good article! Listen up," Roy ordered. He began reading, pitching his voice for drama almost as well as Winry had. His baritone made him sound much like a radio announcer.

"Military Reprehension at Tramp's Hole"

Written by Inez Ylon

"Let sleeping dogs lie" is a phrase many of us have heard. This old adage is true, it seems, for the dogs of the military, the state alchemists.

The dangerous criminal Shigumo (see A2 for article) should have heeded this advice. He and a band of other notorious thugs assaulted Major Edward Elric, the elder of the famous Elric brothers, no more than four days ago. Major Elric was admitted to St. Nicholas' Health Care Center, the military's hospital, as a result of his wounds.

The attack on one of the military's most brilliant and influential alchemists was an outrage not to be borne. Colonel Roy Mustang, known as the Flame Alchemist, led a brigade of soldiers and ranking officers to Tramp's Hole, where the criminal Shigumo was hiding. In a blaze of artillery and alchemy, Colonel Mustang smoked out the criminals. Several thugs died in the attack, and Shigumo himself later expired from wounds received during the scrimmage. Thirteen of these scum were captured, and await trial and sentence, which undoubtedly will come soon.

"Hey, they don't mention that I was there, too," Edward noted.

"Not surprising, considering what a stupendous help you were," Winry teased.

Alphonse put an arm in front of Edward to keep him from attacking Winry. "Here, calm down, niisan."

"And they don't give a smidgen of credit to my loyal men and ranking officers," Roy sniffed, folding the paper. "I recall some excellent shooting that kept those animals off my back."

Riza smiled a little. "Thank you, sir."

At this exchange, Winry smiled a secretive female smile. It faded into annoyance when Edward asked her what she was smirking about. "Never mind, you alchemy geek."

"Machine geek!" Edward retorted. "Ow! Otouto, help! Ouch! Al!"

"Niisan, you're on your own," Alphonse laughed.

A/N: There you go, next to last chapter.

Roy: That wasn't so bad at all.

Edward: Yeah, you weren't in the hospital with broken ribs, you smirking bastard.

Inez: Well, the last little bit is coming soon.

Roy: (Looking ahead) O.O You did WHAT?

Edward: I don't even want to know. (Covers his face with his hands)

Inez: This next, last chapter may not be popular. Heh. Review, flame, hate, love, read on. Peace out, dudes.

Roy: I think I want what's she smoking.

Edward: I sure don't.

Inez: And much thanks to Yunaberrie for pointing out that I have been spelling Lieutenant-Colonel Maes Hughes's name wrong. Sorry.