Disclaimer: I don't own Dead or Alive, or any of it's Characters. Any branded devices in this story are copyright of their respective owners.

A/N: Woo! Reviews! Party! I think I might include some translator notes from now on...meh.

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Dead or Alive: Une Lutte de la Jeune Fille

By TropicalWeirdo

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Helena sat at the end of the dining table, her mouth ever-so-slightly agape. Hitomi and Leifang were talking loudly, and eating at the same time. Kasumi, who had her eyes trained on Hayate was struggling with a fork. Tina and Bass had abandoned forks altogether, now just using their hands. Everyone seemed relativley happy, and didn't seem to care about appearances. Everyone, sans Christie. She looked at her plate with a blank face. Helena tried to make friendly conversation with her.

"Mon Dieu. They're like animals, aren't they?"

Christie looked up suddenly.

"But who can blame them? There's enough forks here to assassinate someone..."

Kasumi's glass fell over as Bayman turned around and gave Christie a painfully unsubtle look. Christie glared back. Helena laughed.

"I suppose there are quite a few pieces of cutlery..."

"Mmm..." Christie grunted. She wasn't paying any attention to Helena at all now, she was watching Bayman with an angry look on her face. Helena sighed.

"So, Leon."

Leon looked up. There was a small collection of rosemary leaves on his face.

"Er, never mind..." Helena said, looking away. Leon returned to his dinner. Helena scanned the room.

Hitomi and Leifang were both laughing, Kasumi was laughing too. Hayate and Ryu both looked angry. Bass and Tina were eyeing up Zack with suspicious looks on their faces, Zack was talking innocently enough with Jann Lee, whom Ayane was looking at with an interested expression. Brad appeared to have passed out, and Gen Fu was looking at him with an exasperated frown. Helena felt oddly voyeuristic looking at them all. She looked back at Christie. Christie was slowly eating a potato.

"Hmm." Helena cocked an eyebrow.

"Umm....Miss Helena, what are you..." Christie was interrupted mid-sentence by the tinkle of a fork against a glass.

"Can I have your attention please?" Said Hitomi loudly. Most of the faces in the room turned towards her and Leifang.

"Thank you." Leifang said happily "Hitomi has a propostion for all of you."

Hitomi beamed. "Yes, I do. I thought, that since some of us don't know eachother so well, we could have an ORIENTATION SLEEPOVER!!"

The silence that followed was deafening. Ayane broke the silence by suddenly shouting "A What?"

"Orientation Sleepover!! We all sleep in the same room and stay up and tell spooky stories an' stuff!"

Another painfully long silence.

"That doesn't sound like such a bad idea." Said Helena.

"I'm going to have to disagree with you there." Tina said, looking primarily at Zack.

"Stop being so boring!" Said Hitomi "Why don't any of you ever do anything fun?"

"I think it's a good idea." Said Kasumi. "Can we Helarin? Pleeeeeease?"

Helena beamed. "Sure."

Tina folded her arms. "You're all idiots."

Helena waved her off. "Etre calme. I will ask for my servants to set it up in the function hall."

Hitomi did a happy little dance. "Yaay!"

The evening was decptivley quiet. Before the lights were turned out, most of the contestants kept their mouths shut. Even Ayane restrained herself from complaining, Zack was acting relativley normal. Before the lights were turned out, that is.

"Okay, time to go to sleep!!" Hitomi yelled cheerfully.

Click.

"Yo, it's pretty dark in here"

"Shut up, I'm trying to get to sleep."

"Oh, suuuure."

"Both of you shut up!"

"Onestamente! Go to sleep!"

"Was that Helena? It sounded pretty manly."

"It was Leon, idiot!!"

"Oh."

"Hmmm. So, Tina--ARGH!!"

"What? What is it?"

"Someone has their hand ON MY ASS! GET OFF ME, PAEDOPHILE!!"

"Zack, do you know what a paedophile is?"

"I don't care! Someone is attacking me!!"

"No! Gomen, Gomen!! I didn't mean to!"

"Hayate? Is that you?"

"No, I'm over here..."

"No, I didn't mean to! I thought you were Kasumi!"

Silence.

"Whoa, he really is a paedophile."

"EEEK! I'M SCARED!! SOMEONE IS TRYING TO ATTACK ME!!"

"You put a hand on my sister and you're dead."

"Ayane?"

"Shut up, baka"

Finally someone turned on the light. Zack had Hayabusa in a choke hold, Ayane was trying to punch him, but was being held back by Jann Lee. Kasumi was underneath Leifangs blankets, crying. Hayabusa took the moment to try and explain himself.

"Uhh...I didn't mean it like that...."

A/N: OOOOOOOOOH!! Something exciting at Rancho-Helena, eh?! All will be revealed....eventually....I'll try and finish this before the holidays end, which means going in to OVERDRIVE. Hm, anyway, heres those translator notes:

Une Lutte de la Jeune Fille (French): A Maidens Battle. Or struggle. I think it's the former....Forgot

Mon Dieu (French): My god.

Etre Calme (French): Be Quiet (Apparentley...)

Onestamente (Italian): Honestly.

Gomen (Japanese): Sorry.

Baka (Japanese): Idiot. (But everyone should know that...)

As my saying goes: Sayonara! Read and Review!

--Tropical Weirdo