Disclaimer: Not mine
A/N: I'm in this writing Sara's POV kind of mood. Pairing N/S.
There is no such thing as a wrong decision
Sometimes she wonders if she made the right decision two years ago. Like right now, while she is standing in the same room as the man she used to love. They are carefully avoiding each other, but she knows that by the end of this evening he will have gathered the courage to ask her the much dreaded questions. The why's and the how's and she already knows she has no answers to any of those questions. She just knew she could not let Nick go. Not all by himself, all broken and desperate.
He will understand that, he will think it was a selfless act. He will ask her why she didn't ask for help, why she didn't contact him or any one of them as time went by and things started to get relatively normal again. That explanation will give him hope and that explanation is not true. She walked away, because it was the easiest thing to do. If anything she used Nick, she was selfish instead of selfless. She used him, his body, his soul. Pulled him close, pushed him away and he made it so easy for her. He did the same and at one point she wasn't sure where she ended and he started. They had created some kind of symbiotic relationship.
She had no idea if he would understand this, if he would accept it, but the real question was if she wanted him to understand. That would complicate things even more. She loved Nick, she really did, it was not only dependency anymore. He trusted her, trusted her to come back when he had sent her to this conference. He knew Grissom was going to be there. He had told her he would be waiting for her when they had said their goodbye's at the airport. It felt so safe to be in his arms and she had wondered if she couldn't just stay there in his arms at the airport. Just when she had decided there was nothing wrong with that plan, he had kissed her softly, passionately, making her long for him while he was still standing in front of her, and let her go. She had pushed away the tears, inhaled his scent deeply one more time and turned around and walked away.
Grissom is standing in front of her now and sends her a forced smile. She realizes he already knows and she is okay with that. It doesn't matter if it was the wrong decision two years ago, it is the right one now.
FIN