Soup Cracker

Title: Silented Screams

Rating: Mature

Genre: Angst/Drama/Suspense

Couples: If you've been reading my story ou sould know what couples to expect.

Summary: This is basically about Alex's home life, because we don't even know what its about.

Authors notes: The date in the story is now Halloween, so its been about a month since Chapter 2... and there is a flashback and it will be in italics the whole time.. even though thoughts are in italics.

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Chapter 3: Trick or Treat smell my feet!

"Today is our annual carnival day here at Degrassi, as you all know you all are to be working at your booths while the kids from Degrassi Elementry have a lot of fun. We will not tolerate any teasing and tormenting of the younger children and we expect good examples." Ms. Hatzilakos coldly said towards the end of her sentence. I watched as all the students in the gymnasium nodded.

IThis should be interesting. Twirp brain is going to be attached at my hip all day today./I I shook my head and looked down at my costume, it wasn't as bad as last year when I had to dress up as a princess that was humiliating. I burned that dress that very night, but this year I get to be a blood sucking vampire. Watch out tykes, I'll suck your blood.

I watched as the students walked towards their booths weither it be inside the gym or outside of the school or inside the classrooms. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed deeply, I never really enjoyed having a bunch of little twirps high on sugar around me especailly when they were in packs like animals. It reminded me to much of my job at the movie theatre, and I had a hyper little twirp named Amanda already.

"So I finally get to see little Amanda, is she anything like you?" Marco asked as he poked me, I swatted his hand away and pushed him playfully. I watched as he lost his balance and fell to the ground, laughing I moved to help him up and stared at him for a moment.

"Her like me? Please, she's anything but like me." I snorted, I moved over to the door. I placed the vampire teeth in my mouth and watched as slow clumps of children moved into the school, some were very quiet. I enjoyed the quiet ones the others were so loud that I thought I was going to stab them with my hoop earings one by one.

I watched as my sister secluded herself from the group that she entered the school in and made my way to follow her. She was an angel this year for Halloween, she definately is no angel out of that costume but she's closer than I'll ever be. I stopped following her when she walked towards Jays booth, and saw that she was talking to him. Huffing I watched them, I couldn't make out what they were saying.

-

"So how are you doing?" Jay asked Amanda as he gave her three been bags to throw into the holes of the clown poster, he took a few steps to the side and waited for an answer.

"I'm not allowed to talk to you." Amanda respnded trying to be serious, but a small smile krept across her face as she tossed one of the beanbags into the smiling clown. She clapped wildly, "I got one in! I got one in!"

"Good job." Jay replied a little aggrivated, he leaned against the booth and looked around he didn't see Alex anywhere. "Why aren't you allowed to talk to me? Did Alex tell you not to?" he continued to push questions on her. He didn't care if Amanda could or could not talk to him. All he wanted to know was how she was doing, and then he would ask about Alex later.

Amanda looked around for a moment and took a deep intake of breath, she scored 2 out of 3 which was a fairly decent score. "Alex-y told me not to...but... she isn't here...so..." she watched as Jay gave her a big huge lollipop that was almost the size of her face, her face lit up. "I'm doing good. I started school and I have made two friends. Alex is okay." she knew he was going to ask about her sometime soon.

Jay looked at his watch and looked over at the person he was working this booth with, "What do you say I take you on a little tour of the school and then we can go around and get more candy." he smiled down at Amanda and waited for her to answer.

"Um." Amanda looked around and smiled. "Okay." she nodded.

Jay took Amanda's hand lightly and walked her down the gymnasium and exited. He looked down at her, ruffled her hair and looked up at the ceiling. He heard a small giggle escape the six-year-old lips and raised his eyebrow in wonder. "Why are you laughing?"

"I don't know." Amanda continued to laugh as they walked outside looking around she didn't know where they were going, but only felt something behind her when Jay picked her up and put her on his shoulders. "I'm so tall now."

"Like Godzilla" he smirked.

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I saw Jay and Amanda for a second then decided that I needed to go back to my booth and entertain the little twirps that always crowd the school. When no one was looking I grabbed one of the lollipops and shoved it in my mouth, this was my favorite flavor watermeleon. INo one will notice./I, I looked around for a moment and left my booth without telling anyone where I was going.

"Alex!" Emma Nelson annoyingly called after me, I was cursed with working with the cause girl that went down on my boyfriend. Talk about a small world, I blew her off by waving my hand and continued to walk where Jay's both was. I was just going to check up on Amanda but she wasn't there. Jay wasn't either.

I sighed in fusteration something told me he was off with my sister somewhere, I walked over to his booth and slammed my fist on it to get the other booth workers attention. I realized that it was some grade 7 who was now petrified, giving her an apologetic look I leaned forward.

"Listen do you know where a little twirp that was wearing an angel costume and Jay went?" I asked very coldly, I didn't have time for her to stutter out an answer or to look around nervously all she needed to do was answer my question.

"He talked giving her a tour of the school and then helping her win carnival prizes." she answered my question quickly. ISmart girl/I, I nodded slowly and stormed down the gym trying to figure out where he would take her first. I saw Marco and Paige sitting down relaxing, I grabbed both of their arms and pulled them upwards so they were standing.

"Hey!" Paige and Marco whined at the same time.

"What was that for?" Marco asked as he rubbed his arm.

"Sorry, Jay has my little twirp sister somewhere and we are going to find him and then I will beat his ass." I angrily responded through gritted teeth.

"Alex,hun, calm down, he's not going to make her give him a blow job. That would be stupid, and I am sure that your little sister would cry her heart out and run away... that and she doesn't even know what it is let alone know how to give one." Paige said, she was trying to comfort me and keep me calm by rubbing my arm lightly. iDamn it Paige this is not the time.../I "But we should get her away from him. He could be a bad influence."

"Yes." Marco agreed with her, and I nodded my head.

"Don't think I won't beat him to a bloody pulp still, because I will." I stated as we walkd down the hall together, I looked from room to room but they weren't there and I was started to get very impatient, I kicked one of the lockers and huffed.

"Maybe you should stay away from the lockers." Marco stated, a little scared he looked at the dented locker and attempted to pull me away but I didn't move, I was staring at the locker and the dent. I bit my lip, it reminded me to much of home that dent.. it was the shape of the dent in my door...

I"Come here..." I heard my dad say I walked over to him slowly I was scared, I stopped when i was two feet away from him. I bit my lip lightly and looked towards Amanda's room which was closed thank god. I heard a few foot steps come up towards me.

"You listen to me when I talk to you Alex Nenez." I heard him, he was angry and that wasn't nessesarily a good thing, he grabbed my arm and started to drag me to my room, I wanted to scream but I knew that would scare my sister and only make matters worse for me. I nodded for a moment and entered my room.

"You know the rules." He sneered, he closed the door behind himself and locked it and then his body was right behind mine, I could feel his breathe right against my neck and I shivered in fear. I felt his hands on my shoulders and lightly move down my arms, and I felt him place kisses on my neck. I bit my lip even harder and I could taste blood in my mouth. It was sickingly sweet.

/I

"I'm going to go get her sister," Marco said to Paige.

Paige nodded slowly towards him and moved over to me, I was still in a daze, I was stuck in a memory that I didn't wnat to remember. It was painful, it happened all the time.

"Alex come on. Are you there?" Paige waved her hand in front of my face and sighed in aggrivation she wasn't getting anywhere, "Hello? Earth to dazed girl named Alex..."

I

He was ontop of me now, he ripped off my shirt, he continued to kiss me fiercly, I wanted him to stop. I tried to push him off me like I always did and like every single time. I failed, he just pushed me into my bed harder and held my arms down, I closed my eyes I remembered I tried to picture myself in a better place a better time, that i wasn't being the one that was getting what belonged to myself taken away.

He didn't say anything the whole time, he was just happy that he could get some action, he didn't care that he was scarring me for life, he didn't care that he was hurting me. Everytime it just hurt more, I looked at him for a moment and I knew that it was coming soon. It snapped me back into reality, that this was truly happening to me. I glared at him the whole time, but the pain was to much. He was hurting me, get him off me. Tears slowly started to appear and dribble down my cheeks, I screamed in pain but he covered my mouth and used his other hand to punch me in the face.

For what seemed to be an eternity it was over, he had finished. He got up and left afterwards he looked at me and smiled and closed the door behind him. I curled up in fatal position and stared at the wall. I was numb, I was scared.

/I

"No!" I screamed, I covered my ears and fell to the ground and laid into the fatal positon.

I

"You're more fun than your mother." he stated as he entered the room again, he had a cloth in his hand that he tied around my mouth to keep me quiet, he removed his trousers once again and moved himself on top of me.

/I

"Alex!" Paige moved even closer to me, I felt her hand on my back and I froze. She moved her hand away quickly somewhat knowing that she had frightened me.

"Please stop! You're hurting me you're hurting me!" I repeated I started to cry sometime between that, I crawled farther and farther away from the dented locker and away from Paige. I somewaht knew that it wasn't my father but part of my mind thought she was.

I

He did it again... and again.. and again. This time, I couldn't make a sound.

/I

"Hun, it's me Paige. I'm not going to hurt you... I promise." Her voice was soft, I stopped moving for a moment, and watched as she slowly moved over towards me and reached out her hand, I looked at her hand and looked back up at her face.

"Alex...what happened to you..." Paige asked her voice filled with concern, she moved to sit down next to me and lightly wrapped her arm around me, I stiffened again but lightened up when she pulled me against her body and I placed my head under hers and breathed lightly. She rubbed my back in a comforting motion, it felt nice, I closed my eyes and took in a few breaths.

"He hurt me..." I quietly stated, I didn't realize half the things I were saying and I still haven't realized that I was crying. I felt her hand touch my face and move it so I was looking straight up at her.

"Did he..." Paige paused for a moment and saw the look in my eyes realizing that he had done the same thing that Dean done to her. Not knowing what to do she pulled me into a hug and sighed. I looked around hte hallway and realized where I was and pushed Paige away from me.

"I shouldn't have told you. He's going to find out," I felt wet tears going down my cheeks and pushed htem away. IShit, I was crying./I Paige, the little blonde cheerleader witnessed me crying. I glared at her for a moment and ran off down the hall.

"Alex wait!" Paige called after me, concern was in her eyes. She didn't chase after me, I think she was frightened instead she just stood there and looked at the ground not knowing what to do. I I could tell Ms. Suave, but I think that would only make matters worse./I

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"Alex, I found your siste are you o-" Marco asked me, I took my little sister from him and picked her up. I gave him a look that I didn't want to talk about it, luckly I didn't look like I had been crying.

"Are you mad at me sissy?" Amanda asked me she had a little bit of fear in her eyes, I shook my head and she smiled, "Okay, can we go home?" I could tell my little sister was tired, she yawned lightly and placed her head on my shoulder. I nodded and walked past Marco.

"Of course we'll go home, we need to rest up tonight so you can go trick or treating with your friends while I give out candy to little twirps. Mom and Dad are going to a party tonight so I should have the place to my own.." I grinned as I talked to Amanda who had obviously drifted off to sleep halfway through my little conversation with her.

"I'm coming over later! With Paige!" Marco yelled out after me, I waved a goodbye to Marco and continued to walk down and out of the schoolyard through the side. I walked down the sidewalk and looked around.

II can't believe Paige found out, she now knows and now she can use it against me. I cried in front of her, I told her one of my darkest secrets, there is more to it. I have a pretty fucked up family and now she thinks I'm screwed up and now she knows my weakness. I'm just not going to talk to her again, but that is going to be hard since I work with her, and the feeling that I felt when she held me./I

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"What's up with Alex?" Marco asked as he approached Paige, she shrugged her shoulders. Raising his eyebrow he put his arm around Paige's shoulder. "We're going over to Alex's tonight to talk to her. She's going to be home alone and maybe she needs a little bit of a hang out session from her friends. I could invite Ellie also."

"Something tells me she's going to want to be alone...besides Marco aren't you busy tonight? You have cousins that are coming over... remember?" Paige asked as they walked closer to the halloween carnival. "But, maybe she wants friends over. Alex isn't as tough as she seems."

"Shoot. Ellie's busy also, you should go visit her. Something happened between you and her, not saying something big but you know something." Marco narrowed his eyes, and smiled he had hoped that she would tell him, but she could tell by the look in her eyes she wasn't going to say a word. "Fine, be a secret keeper."

"Sorry Del Rossi, I'll just ... let you guess." Paige grinned, she walked into the gym leaving him standing there bewildered. Looking around she spotted the door and moved out front to think about the recent events.

IAlex, why do you have to be so strong? Is it to be strong for your sister? Who's strong for you/I

"Paige, stop thinking about Alex." Paige told herself she shook her head and let her mind wander again but all her thoughts led up to Alex, she felt something more than just a friendship when she held her and comforted her.

IPlease Paige, you don't have a crush on Alex. That's insane... or maybe it isn't./i

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TBC.