Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings, Joe Boxer, Spongebob Squarepants, Comcast, or the Crazy Shirts Company, so don't sue me.
Ana: Thank you!
Marpessa: I am not going to reply other than this: The only reason you don't leave an e-mail or a fanfiction pen name, is that you know what you are doing could be considered stalking or harassing. Do not review for my stories again.
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"How did we get drunk off of apple juice, anyway?" Legolas asks, having to army crawl out from under the table so as to not hit his head again.
"No idea." I answer.
"Now what are we going to do?" Will asks.
"I don't know what you are going to do, but I am going to go feed my dogs, then check my e-mail." Walking to the storage room, I put food in each of the nine bowls, and put them in the hall for them to eat. The dogs come quickly to feed.
Over by the window on the bench, I open my laptop and startup the Internet.
"Uh, let's see, Comcast, DELETED! Fanfiction review, oh yay." I read it silently, then start laughing. "Come here, guys, you have to read this." They come over and read it, though they don't laugh at it, because they most likely don't understand it.
"How is this funny? It doesn't even make any sense." Paris asks me.
"No, this girl was on a sugar high when she reviewed." They just kind of nod and look confused. Oh well. "And no more e-mail." I shut everything down.
"Do you have a bath somewhere that I can use?" Aragorn asks. Everyone looks at him.
"Sure. I can do better than that. We have showers." He looks at me blankly. "Follow me, all of you." I lead them down the hall easily, because my dogs have finished eating. In the bathroom, I show them the shower. "You turn it on like this." I turn the hot water knob, and they looks at it as if it is possessed. "Yes, it is called 'running water'. It is similar to a bath, but you stand instead of sit. The knob with the 'H' is hot water, and the one with 'C' is cold water. Be careful, it can get either very hot or very cold. Would you like some new clothes to change into?"
"Yes, that would be nice." He answers.
"Alright. I'll go get them." Heading upstairs, the boys stay in the living room talking about the wonders of running water. In my room, I go through one of the drawers, producing a pair of boxers and an extra large t-shirt. Heading back downstairs, they are still talking.
"Is there anywhere else with running water?" Legolas asks me. I stop at the small landing.
"Yes. Anywhere you see a sink with a drain at the bottom, it has running water." I smile at them, then throw the clothes at Aragorn, who catches them. "Be back in a few minutes." I go back upstairs and get three more sets of boxers and t-shirts for the others when they decide to wash up.
Back downstairs, Aragorn has gotten into the shower, and Paris is poking the TV. Will and Legolas are watching Paris. He hits the power button.
"SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!" The Spongebob theme music is playing. He tips backwards with a look of almost pure terror on his face.
"Ready?"
"SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS,"
"Spongebob... Squarepants! Ahahaharr." Ah, Band Geeks, cool.
"W-what is this devilry?" Paris asks.
"It is called a Television, or just TV." I reply, laughing. "Here, I brought you all some clothes to change into when you take a shower or bath." I chuck the clothes at their heads. Legolas catches his easily, Will barely does, and Paris somehow gets the boxers caught on his head, while the shirt falls to his lap.
"How does it work?" Will asks. I come down the rest of the stairs.
"No idea, and I don't really care." They each unfold their clothes and look at them. Paris has a red 'Red Gecko, Hot Chili Co.' crazy shirt. Will a grey 'Blackbeard's Sunset Cruises, We Get The Booty' shirt. Legolas has a green 'Maui Croppers' shirt. All of the boxers are some form of Spongebob.
"Maybe we should play so quietly, that no one can hear us." I love Spongebob. We watch for a few minutes, until Aragorn comes out wearing a brown 'Gecko Espresso' shirt. After looking at him quickly, I go back to watching my cartoons.
"What is this?" He asks, pointing to the TV.
"TV. And this is a cartoon called Spongebob Squarepants. The same one that is on your boxers." I tell him. The other three of them take their showers, and all come out in their new shirts and boxers.
"I'm hungry." Will says.
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Yeah, ran out of ideas here. Have to think of something interesting for breakfast.