Fan Mail, a gundam seed fanfic

Fan Mail

Kira stormed into the room and promptly threw himself on the bed. "Oh my god," he moaned. "I just can't take this anymore!"

Athrun paused in between putting on his uniform, and talking to Cagalli on the phone. "Hold on," he mouthed to Kira.

After hanging up on Cagalli, he asked "What's the problem now?" he asked in a weary tone, as though he'd faced the situation before. "Someone post another fan fiction about how cute you would look in a bunny suit?"

"No," Kira grunted, waving a fistful of paper in the air. "It's this damn fan mail. I can't keep up!"

The younger, but more mature friend sighed and put aside his uniform to regard his distressed comrade. "Kira, we've talked about this. You are not obliged to answer every letter that is sent to you. Just leave them alone."

"Easy for you to say," Kira said, his voice muffled as he kept his face buried in the pillow. "You don't care about what the fan girls say. They expect you to be a cute, handsome, and mature guy. Thanks to all that fluff that's being written about Lacus and me, everyone thinks I'm a deep, sensitive idiot!"

"I would disabuse them of such notions, my friend," Athrun answered in a distracted tone. "Just ask Yoshiyuki Tomino to write your part a little less sensitive. He's very understanding that way."

Kira raised his head, grumbling. "It's not his fault, I'm fine with the way my part is going in the manga. In the manga, I'm tough, cool… It's all the damn fluffy fillers they keep throwing in for the anime. Showing me all sensitive and sweet, acting like a goddamn pansy whenever Lacus touches me. Please, I don't mind a little romantic tension, but I might as well get neutered and wear a dress!"

"Calm down, Kira. Fan girls love the fluff. It comes with the job, would you rather be flipping burgers somewhere instead of working regularly in anime?"

Shoulders sagging, Kira shook his head. "Nah, I guess you're right. This is better than waiting tables. But don't you ever get sick of it? I mean, I've seen your fan mail. And they call Dearka a pervert; some of these women need serious medication."

Smirking, Athrun got up and moved across the room to examine his reflection. "I don't read my fan mail, Kira. I'd advise you to also keep a professional distance. Females get very...possessive when it comes to this fandom. They aren't reasonable. Just relax and enjoy your status. Think of all the happiness you've given others with your work."

Kira looked up from the pillow and looked at Athrun suspiciously. "You feeling okay?"

"Just because I'm trying to help you doesn't mean I'm sick," Athrun replied without missing a beat. "I'm just trying to give you a more constructive perspective."

Kira sat up and rubbed his face. "Yeah, yeah. I know what you're saying. And you're right."

"Aren't I always?" Athrun asked, smirking jokingly.

"Watch it, Athrun," Kira replied, just as jokingly, but with an underlying tone to his warning. "You wouldn't want me to accidentally spill the fact that you wrote back to that gorgeous blonde behind Cagalli's back, right?"

"You wouldn't!" Athrun exclaimed, shocked.

"Try me."