A Diary

Chapter 12: Why Keep Things I Don't Deserve

I got up off the bed. Who was coming here at 5 in the morning? I looked back at marlin he had lipstick on his face and I started laughed.

"You might want to wash that off!" I said as he rushed to the bathroom. I opened the door and Cilia was standing there. She looked upset and I didn't know why.

"What's wrong?" I said. I knew something was way wrong and I was starting to get scared! I had never seen Cilia cry before, and she was now standing here looking like she would just going to fall to pieces!

"Where's Marlin! Vesta is really mad and she won't tell me why! She said to go get Marlin.

"Marlin!" I yelled. I knew he could here me. Marlin ran in his face was clean now and I hoped Cilia didn't notice anything.

"What? Cilia What's wrong?" Marlin said now noticing Cilia at the door.

"Vesta is really mad and she won't tell me why! She needs to talk to you!"

"Why now?"

"She was up a little early this morning and saw you guys come home from the party and now she's really mad and she wont tell me why! She told me to come get you."

"All right I guest I will be right back Naomi you can go to bed now if you want." I smiled

"Make sure she's ok!" He then gave me a smile and left with Cilia and I knew something was wrong. I didn't really want to go to bed but I knew I had to get a few hours sleep so I read another chapter of the diary and then I promised myself that I would go to bed then.

Winter 30th

Dear Diary,

My world has fallen to pieces when Ann decided to do something so dumb! She wont come out of her room and according to her dad she wont come out and hasn't for a week! I am starting to get scared and cliff and me are postponing the wedding. I am very annoyed and sympathetic at the same time! It's so childish! Ann was one of my best friends! I don't know what to do and if she dies… it will be my entire fault! I hope she comes out… its so hard to hear her cry. I'm listening to it now as I write this. I hope she will live through it. I have bin so upset about this lately but Cliff and me are still here together… I hope we will last through the trauma… I hope things work out.

Rorie

I felt bad for her. My life seamed to be going pretty good now but hers was falling to pieces! The thing was I wasn't so sure everything was all right with Marlin. I knew Rock said something because of the way he seamed to look at me now. I was still sweet… but not as loving and shy as it had bin before… and it was scaring me. I then put my head down on the pillow and thought about that kiss. It was the best kiss I had had in my life. I hoped everything was ok.

(Now were going into Marlins point of view as he levies with Cilia to see what Vesta wanted)

It was still freezing cold out. I guess I should have expected that it was only 6ish and pitch black. I knew what Vesta was going to say. She hated Naomi. She thought that she was a two timer just because she hung out with Rock. I knew this wasn't true but after what happened tonight I wasn't so sure that I could have Naomi. She was so nice to me… why was she so nice to me? I was nothing special! I had had a couple girl friends in my life but they were nothing like Naomi! They ran away when they herd that I was sick… They hated me… Why was she different? I had always thought she was pretty even though she thought she wasn't. She could take her pick with every boy in Forget me not Valley and beyond and she chose me! Why did she chose me… I didn't deserve a girl like her… she was so… I don't know… special! She had put a little more interest in my life. Before she had come here I had no idea what really loving someone was… but I know I'm just holding he down. She had once said that she wasn't really the family type to Muffy. I didn't know if that was true. I don't want her to think just because I'm ill that she should stay with me and make me happy.

They finally got to Vesta's farm and he was already prepared for the worst.

"Marlin! What are you thinking!" Vesta said as soon as they entered the room. "Naomi and you are not a good mix! She will brake your heart like she did Rocks! She only likes you when its fun and then she will dump you when she's bored!"

"Naomi is not like that!" I thundered. Even though I don't deserve her someone else does and I'm not going to let Vesta trash talk her like that.

"Marlin I'm just trying to help! I'm your sister and I don't want you to get your heart broken… don't you remember… like what happened last time." Vesta said softly.

How could I forget! It was the worst day of my life. Marlin thought.

That girl was why he was so afraid of being around Naomi at first… he had bin rejected before… that girl was why he was a little blunt and mean to people when he got nervous because he learned that showing your fears was not a good thing. That girl was Fay. She was so pretty and nice to him. It was back when he lived in the city. He was really shy back then but he didn't get so nervous talking to girls. She was like a fairy with her long blond hair and big blue eyes but Fay looked pretty but her personally was nasty. She had acted like she loved him… she was 22 and he was 25 and Marlin was ready to start a real life with her. The night he was going to ask her the big question he found her lip locked with one of his friends. He then started to become moody and distant but why was he not like that with Naomi? She had reached out and talked to him when no one else cared… but he didn't deserve a girl like that. He knew this was true because of what Rock had said when Naomi left to dance with that boy.

"You know your not worth a city girl like hers time! She will never fall for an ugly guy like you. I would have her right now but I did something really stupid. Don't do something stupid to Marlin. Naomi deserves better… and you know it!"

He then left and Marlin knew his words were true.

"I know… and there is nothing between me and Naomi but friend ship right now… I cant have a girl like her…" Vesta had taken the I cant have a girl like her totally wrong, she thought he meant that she was a two timer and he knew it and she was very happy that she thought she convinced him. Marlin knew he had to turn her down and he also had to move back here. He told Vesta he would be back tomorrow. It was now about 9 in the morning. He walked up to the farm to see Naomi petting her cow but then one of her bulls decided to have a mean streak and bumped her pretty hard in the back.

"Owe! You silly thing I'll get to you to hold your horses!" she said smiling at the bull. Marlin sat on the hill next to the entrench to Sunset Farm (Naomi's farm) he hoped she wouldn't come over but she saw him sitting there and rushed over the gate that kept the animals inn and sat beside him.

"So what was wrong with Vesta… I was starting to get worried." She said. Why did she look even cuter when she was all dirty! He thought. He could tell she had bin working on her crops because she had dirt on her face and pants. He had never seen her so serious ether though. She was usually sarcastic and liked to joke around about things but I guess she knew something was wrong because he saw fear in her eyes.

"She… It was nothing that concerns you but I have to move out." He said not looking at her.

"If that doesn't concerns me I don't know what does! Why? Was I too pushy last night! I'm so sorry!" He stopped her he was feeling like crying but of course he didn't.

"I just…" He was going to have to lie for Naomi's sake even if that meant her hating him for the rest of his life she would be happier with a more outgoing man in her farm life. Maybe if he let go of her she would be happier in the end.

"I don't love you Naomi and I can't stay here." He said now standing up.

"Have to go get my things…" he then left feeling like someone had punched him. He knew deep down it was the right thing but he hated himself for it. He loved her but for her to keep a sick guy like him… It wasn't fair to her… right?

(Now we are back to Naomi's personality, sorry for the whole switch perspective thing but I had to tell Marlins story some how and just keep reading! The good parts are coming!)

I just sat there. What was I going to say to that! I loved Marlin but he didn't love me in return. So he was just going to kiss me and leave! I was mad and I was going to tell him! Right now it didn't matter if he was shy or not! He put me on a wild goose chase! I started to cry and I didn't care! I ran into the house and strait to him.

"What kind of girl do you take me for! What do you think your doing messing with me like that! God! I thought you loved me the way I love you! Is it something Vesta said! Was it something Rock said! Just tell me… maybe we can fix this… whatever it is." I said trying to look him in the eye as he through things in his bag. I had never felt so torn before… I was upset when that whole thing happened with Rock but Marlin! No… I had never even expected this from Marlin! He didn't look at me he then just walked by me and out the door and just like that my life sucked!

Don't send the hate mail yet! Read the next chapter! I had to split this part up because is so long! This is why I'm posting 2 at a time! Maybe they will get back together… Maybe I will make them hate each other! Who knows! Just read the next chapter and find out! I had this all typed up and then I read Naoki07's fan fic and guess what! Its amazing how much we think alike! I totally didn't copy her but I recommend reading her stories! They're really good:) I will thank reviewers in the next chapter so don't get all disappointed on me yet!

Now lets get going! ----------- >

P.s. Sorry this chap was so boring and I'm splitting people up again but keep reading! I got these Ideas from Emmy (she knows who she is!) thanks Em!