Chapter Six

At times like this I wish Leo was still here. He was always the one with the ideas, the plans, the bravery to carry them out. I open my eyes to his headstone again, feeling the misty rain hit my bald head as I hold my hat in my hands. I read the engraving on the granite, as I do every time I come to visit.

He Who Sows Virtue Reaps Honor

I can't help but smile as I study the inscription. That quote was something my partner lived his life by, and it was uncommon for Leonardo to not repeat that saying at least once a day. He found the quote years ago in a Renaissance art book, the same one that held our namesakes, and of course the quote was said by Leonardo Da Vinci. Even though Leo was only four, and the people at the orphanage were just starting to teach us how to read, he remembered that saying, and it became the driving force behind him as he matured.

When Leo and I were reunited years later when I became a cop, I could tell his upbringing in a Japanese household had further expanded the whole honor thing. He had copies of some samurai code book scattered between his apartment, his car, and even tucked away in the back of the top drawer in his desk at the station. He was morally right and honor bound, and if I may compare, his police work for the citizens of Manhattan was exactly like an ancient Samurai warrior protecting his master.His virtuewas deeply sowed into the people he protected.

I sat down on the soaked ground, not caring about the rain water that went through my pants, and I bowed my head to the headstone.

"Hey, Leo," I said, my eyes studying the blades of grass around the base of the stone."Yeah, I'm back to bug you again." I laughed weakly, wondering what someone might think if they passed by and saw me talking to a headstone. " I just...shit, I don't even know where to begin with all of the madness that's going on!"

I lift my eyes to his name and sighed. "Things were so much easier when you were around, Leo. I wish you were still here." I reached out to brush my two fingers across the stone, but stopped as the noisy crunch of gravel scared me to my feet.

"Hey, Donnie! Good night for visitin' dead relatives, huh?"

Oh joy, the last person on earth I wanted to see at the moment is here! I held my ground as Raphael staggered up the hillside, a bottle of unmarked liquor dangling from his thick fingers, his drunken breath precedinghim as he approached me.

"Yep, good night," He looked up through the mist and swayed as he inhaled a big drink.

"I was down there talkin' ta Mikey and our dad. Good place ta clear your head, huh, Donnie?"

I said nothing in return, just watched as he took in another drink from the clear bottle then held it up to me, his brows arching as if asking me if I wanted some. I think Raph's had enough for both of us.

"No, thanks," I push the bottle back and he shrugged his shoulders.

"Your loss." He then stumbled over to Leonardo's grave and looked down at the granite stone. I wasn't worried about him standing there, looking over the grave of the brother who he had envied for so long, that is, until he began to laugh like a madman.

"Shit, Leo," Raph cackled. "If only you could see what I've done around here. I'm rulin' this town with an iron fist and a huge bank account, bro! I've made it everythin' you always hated!"

I then watched with a gaze of shock in my eyes and a slacked jaw as Raph overturned his bottle and dumped half of the contents onto Leo's grave.

"I know ya weren't much of a drinker, Leo, but you gotta celebrate somehow!" Raph's laughter reached an unnatural pitch. "Here's ta your fuckin' honor!"

"Raphael!" I yelled as I shoved him away, feeling pleased that he landed clumsily on the ground. "Have some respect, you drunken jerk!"

Raph moaned a few times as he sat back up, swinging his head around as he looked for his bottle, which had cracked on another headstone during the fall. He looked back at me, the heat of his fiery stare burning through my body, and I prepared myself for a fight. But I think I might have prepared myself for the wrong thing.

"Oh, god, Donnie," Raph pushed his palms into his face, trying to hide the river of tears that had began to flow down his face. "I've screwed up! Everythin' is goin' ta Hell around here!"

Okay, now I'm confused, and I don't know what's worse: a drunken rage Raph or a drunken sobbing Raph. I was further confused as Raphael crawled across the gravel and grass on his hands and knees, in a thousand dollar silk suit, no less, and wrapped his arms around Leo's grave. His red silk tie soaked up the puddles of liquor as he pressed himself closer to the coldstone.

"I'm so sorry, bro," He whispered, but loud enough for me to hear him, which I don't think he knew I could."I'm sorry for screwin' ya over. I didn't mean for things ta turn out like they did. Ya wasn't supposed ta die."

I growled loudly at Raphael's drunken babble and I pulled him away, but soon found he was clinging to me and soaking my already wet shoulder with his tears.

"You gotta believe me, Donnie! I didn't want Leo ta die!"

"Get offa me!" I screamed as I pushed Raph back down to the ground, only to grab the folds in his black coat and bring him back up to my face. "Listen, I've had enough weird shit happen to me tonight, and I really don't need to hear you sobbing out gibberish!" I threw him back down to the ground and watched him curl up and continue crying out things about Leo. I wanted to turn around and walk away. I wanted to forget I ever saw the bastard. But there was something standing in my way of doing so, and the pain in my heart was telling me to stay there and help Raph. I glanced back at Leo's grave and sighed. Thanks, Leo! You just had to step in and push us together again, didn't you?

I pulled Raph back up to his feet and helped him over to a stone bench that sat under two large maple trees, giving him the white handkerchief out of my back pocket so he could clean up his wet face. I crossed my arms over my chest and held my eyes to him, hoping that he could feel the hate I was casting upon him. Raph locked his eyes into mine, and for a moment, nothing was said between us. Raph was the first to break the silence.

"Casey's dead," He muttered.

I nodded. "I know. And I also know that the two of you were part of some conspiracy to put me out of commission."

Raph's expression didn't change like I expected it to. He only moved his eyes back to Leonardo's grave and sighed. "Everythin' is so messed up, Donnie. I never meant for things to go so far."

"As I've heard you repeat for the last ten minutes," And I'm beginning to lose my patience again.Didn't think I had much left after the night I've had. "Why don't you start explaining to me what actually was supposed to happen?"

Raph blinked, then looked at me. "Do you remember years ago when me and Leo used ta have those stupid little contests ta see who was the better turtle?"

I nodded silently. Yeah, I remember. Back in the orphanage, before we were all adopted into different families, Leo and Raph were always trying to outdo each other. There was a playground behind the building, and every day those two would see who could swing the longest, or who could climb up the pole faster. Just stupid little things that kids do at that age. But I always knew that it was more serious for Raph than it was for Leo.

"I used ta get so mad when Leo rubbed that shit in my face back then. Smug bastard." Raph then laughed a little. I guess his memories were breaking through that drunken fog in his head. "But when I became a cop, he was so different. He wasn't smug anymore, and, well, ya know how hard he tried to make a decent cop outta me!"

"Get to the point, Raph." I sighed, not really wanting to go down that dark road called Memory Lane.

"My point is that Leo grew up! He put all that silly shit behind him! And... I... never did." Raph wrapped the handkerchief aroundhis hands and pulled tightly. "And when he got bumped up to Captain, it pissed me off even more. I had worked my ass off for years and never got recognition for nothin'!"

"Raph, that's not-," I was cut short as Raph threw his tied hands in the air

"I know that's not what bein' a cop is all about, Don. But ya gotta understand somethin'. I was sick of bein' second best ta him. I wanted ta be up where he was. On top, and not havta answer to nobody ever again."

"So, what does this have to do with Leo's death?"

"Fuck, you're just as impatient as I am, Donnie! I'm gettin' there!" Raph smiled through his wet cheeks before he sighed and continued on. " About my third year in the force, I...kinda gotten myself into a little trouble-,"

"Gambling." I replied. The look of surprise I'd been looking for earlier was there finally. I guess he'd forgotten that I knew about it.

"Right," he nodded, almost acting embarrassed. " And since askin' my Dad for a loan was out of the question cause we were so poor, I found someone who could help me out. Someone who turned my life around and made me see what it was like ta really live on top!" Raph hopped to his feet and paced in front of me. "I got hooked inta this guy's fast paced lifestyle! Everythin' was there for the takin'! Money, cars, women, drugs! Everythin' that bein' just a beat cop couldn't get me." His pacing put him back in front of Leo's grave, and I eagerly joined him.

"But all of that fine shit came with a price, Donnie." Raph lowered his head, as I did before, and I watched his eyes scan over the bold inscription. "This guy works in a give-and-take relationshipYa take from him, ya have to give him somethin' back." Raphael turned to me, and I could tell he was forcing his eyes to stay bolted to mine. Whatever he was about to tell me, he wanted me to know it was all true.

"This guy, him and Leo had a past, and, even now, I still don't know what it was. But whatever happened between those two, he was still holdin' that grudge, and he wanted Leo dead."

"What?" I was almost speechless, and I took a step back. "Raph, you didn't-,"

"Now, listen Donnie," Raph grabbed my shoulders and held me from running away. "I may have hated Leo, but I could never kill 'em! He was my brother, for crying out loud! I told that guy to fuck himself, that I wouldn't stoop ta that level! But-," Raph's tears reappeared and he shook from the sobs. "He threatened ta kill Mikey and our Dad if I didn't help him! Ya gotta understand, Donnie! I couldn't let him do that! Our Dad...well, you know how great he was! And I couldn't stand the thought of being without him or Mikey!"

"So, you agreed to kill Leo in exchange to save your family?" I rubbed at the base of my neck, trying to sort all of this new information in my head.

"No."

"Huh?" I scrunched my eyebrows together. I'm feeling a tad bit dizzy here.

"I still said no, Don." Raph let go of me and looked back at the ground. "Why do ya think our father is down there?" I followed his extended finger down the hill to where two grave markers stood alone.

Raph was right, though. Their father really was a great man. His name was Hamato Yoshi, a Japanese immigrant that lived in Chinatown and owned a small gift shop that sold cards and various other homemade Japanese articles. I can still remember the day he had come to the orphanage, wanting to adopt all four of us, but he only had enough money to adopt one. He had chosen Leonardo at first, but Leo insisted that the old man take Mikey, who was the youngest and smallest, but defiantly the most lovable out of all of us. But as Mr. Yoshi drove away with Mike, we suddenly realized Raph had snuck into the old man's car. Me and Leo knew how much Raph wanted out, so we turned a blind eye to the situation, telling our care givers that Raphael ran away. And I guess Mr. Yoshi was happy with Raph too because he never called or came back to return him.

"Mikey was the one that found him. He was layin' in the middle of the store, gutted out like a turkey at Thanksgivin'."

"No need to elaborate on it, Raph." I held one hand to his face and the other to my turning stomach. " Me and Leo handled the case, remember? We ruled it out as a robbery attempt, not a murder."

"Well, it was, okay?" Raph growled at me. "My father was murdered! And after that, I had no choice but ta go along with Saki's plan."

Saki? No way. No fucking way! I grabbed Raphael's arm and squeezed hard, my puny and pathetic existence crashing down all around me.

"You joined up with Oruku Saki? You joined up with The Shredder?" I pushed Raph's arm and stomped a few feet away from him, refusing to face him. "Raph, of all the stupid, moronic things you could have done!"

"Look, I know I was stupid ta do it, okay?" Raph yelled at my back. "But I thought I could outsmart The Shredder! I was only gonna let him and his gang only go so far, then I was gonna show up with the rest of the force and take them all out! I didn't know Leo was gonna get all heroic and go into the warehouse by himself like he did!"

No man suffers injustice without learning what justice really is. Leo's words came back into my head as I pictured that look on his face as he dashed into the spray of bullets. I closed my eyes and my fists clenched tightly. Everything is still so blurry to me. Now that I know Leo's death was not an accident after all, the rage that I had held down for so long was coming back. Shredder is defiantly going to wish I really was dead after I get through with him. But first things first.

"Raph, I hate to do this," I grabbed for my cuffs, which I always carry in my coat pocket, and I turned around. "I'm going to have to put you under arrest for conspiring with a known felon."

"Don't worry about that, Donnie. I'm gonna take care of it myself."

I watched in horror as Raph pulled out a .45 and popped a bullet into the chamber, spinning it around before locking it into place. He placed the barrel to his temple and began to pull back the trigger.

"Raph, no!" I dropped the cuffs and moved closer to him, hoping I could distract him long enough to grab the gun away from him.

"What else can I do, Donnie?" Raph laughed again, the distant look in his eyes sending chills down my spine. "Do ya even know how I've been feelin' about this? How guilty I feel? Leo's dead, my father's dead. And now...my fucking baby brother is dead! Do ya think you can live with that? That ya could live knownin' that you killed yer own family?"

"Raph, come on. It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself." Okay, I think I need to throw up now.

"Don't give me that 'It ain't yer fault' bullshit, Don!" Raph screamed into the night air. "I'm a fuckin' cop too, ya know! I've talked crazies outta suicides millions of times!"

He was right. How could I use that old line? He knew it all. Come on, Leo! I know you're here! Help me out!

My thoughts were broken by the click of the trigger, and my first reaction was to scream as Raph's brains splashed into my face. But there was nothing. No scream, no brains. I stared into Raph's blank expression, wondering what he was thinking in that moment. He pulled the gun down and stared at it, as if he didn't know what the gun was doing there in the first place. It was then I remembered his old revolver had six chambers. He had five more to go.

"Oh, no ya don't!" Raph shoved the gun back to his head and spit at Leo's grave. "Ya ain't tauntin' me, Leo! You know I deserve this!" He pulled the trigger. Again, nothing.

"Raph, this is stupid!" I sighed and held out my hand. "Just give me the gun and we can just forget about everything."

I suddenly felt the need to change my pants as the gun swung around to me and Raphael's breathing increased.

"Fuck that! I ain't goin' ta jail!" He smiled wickedly at me, but the gun in his shaking hand was more of a concern to me than his evil grin.

"No, Raph. I won't arrest you, okay?" I took a step back. Man, I need a cigarette! Maybe a strong drink would be better!

"Damn right ya won't!" He yelled at me. "I'm the Chief of Police! Nobody can take me down! I own this fuckin' town and everyone in it!"

The gun clicked. Still nothing.

"Piece of shit!" Raphael turned the barrel back around, right to his face, and tried again. Another click, no bullet.

This was it, the last chamber, and if I don't think and act fast, one of us is going to end up joining the rest of our family tonight. And it sure as hell won't be me!

I lunged at Raph and was able to push the gun out of his hand. Raph responded back hitting the left side of my jaw with his fist and shoving his knee into my gut, knocking the wind out of me. I fell to the ground, but quickly yanked Raph's foot out from under him, and he fell right in front of me, the crack of his shell echoing across the cemetery. I jumped on him, hoping to hold down his arms, but he caught me with his feet instead and flipped me over onto my back. I gritted my teeth and bit back the pain, and watched helplessly as Raph stood up and limped to the gun.

"Ya know, Don, you shoulda listen ta me." He aimed the gun into my face, his smile returning. "I told ya there were things goin' on, and that ya needed to watch yer back."

"Just, please, tell me something, Raph," I said through my short breaths, the blackened inside of the revolver's barrel staring down at me.

"What?"

"Why me? What did I have to do with all of this?" Come on, Raph. You can tell me. You think I'll be dead in a few seconds anyway. What could it hurt?

His smile faded and his eyebrows narrowed. "I- I really couldn't tell ya, Donnie. The Shredder just wants ta tie up loose ends, I guess."

Loose ends, huh? And, what, pray tell, does that mean? And, I guess I'll never know. Raphael pulled the trigger and the blast from the gun was so earth shattering , I don't think he even knew what hit him.