(Author's Note: My deepest apologies, once again, for the horridly slow updates. My novel sucked me in with a burst of inspiration and I had no idea what to do with this one, but now I'm stuck on my novel and have an idea for this. Also, November is National Novel Writing Month so I doubt I'll get anything done on this during that month, so I'll try to get another chapter of this out before then.

Also, about the last chapter, yes, the slash was intentional. Grin. Although I doubt there'll be much more of it, I'll warn you if any does come in.)

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.

Chapter Four

That was the first time Slade had threatened my life in such a blunt manner. It chilled me and I felt shivers crawling up my spine. My breath caught in my throat. I could feel the tips of my fingers quivering, and I didn't trust my voice enough to speak steadily. My mouth was so dry that I doubted I could form the words anyway.

I forced myself to inhale again, my breath sounding far too loud in my own ears. I could have counted each beat of my heart, as I waited in stunned silence, fearing anything he might do or say.

Slade chuckled, before he walked across the room, his footsteps echoing on the floor. The door creaked noisily as he opened it and it closed behind him with a thunderous slam.

I closed my eyes, wishing that it was all just some horrible nightmare and that I would wake from it soon, safe with the Titans again. It was a feeble hope, I knew, but I desperately wanted it to be true. However, when I opened my eyes again, the same cold, unfeeling ceiling glared down at me, mocking my unspoken despair.

I shivered and pulled my blanket up one-handed. My fingers brushed against my cast briefly. It still hurt. I blocked the pain from my mind and tried not to dwell on it. It wouldn't help my situation.

I spiraled down into a fitful sleep wracked with nightmares. I saw my friends lying face-up in neat rows on the blood-red earth, their lifeless eyes staring up lifelessly at the ash-blackened clouds. Slade stood over them, laughing, and from one hand dangled a broken marionette. I looked closer and saw with horror that half of it was dressed in a Titan uniform, while the other half wore Slade's colors. It wore a mask, partially covered by an unruly head of black hair.

It was me.

A hand clamped viciously around my arm, hauling me from my nightmare and out of bed. Another hand grabbed my hair and forced my head into a bucket of ice-cold water. The hands released me and I thrashed madly, knocking over the bucket. I coughed and spluttered. I blinked, and noticed Slade standing over me. His mask didn't reveal much, but I could tell that he was displeased.

"You're late," he snarled.

"For what?" I choked on the words, horrified at my own tone.

Slade dealt a swift kick to my cast, sending a flash of agony rocketing through my arm. I screamed, bending over it, tears stinging my eyes.

"Get up," he ordered ruthlessly, throwing a sling for my cast at me. I did as he said, my breathing still broken as I tried to suppress the pain consuming my arm. I slid my arm into the sling, trying to ignore the tremors of pain spreading through it.

I followed him silently down the winding corridor, my stomach twisting in knots. Whatever he would do to me, I could handle. I would live. I kept trying to tell myself that, but thinking about it only increased my nervousness.

He opened an obscure door and led me down three flights of stairs. Our footsteps echoed hollowly on the metal steps as we made our descent. The stairs weren't narrow, for which I was very grateful, but the staircase itself was very dim. A few weak lights rested on the walls at random intervals, but even they weren't enough to light the stairs easily.

I wanted to see the sun. Right then, I would have even settled for a brightly-lit room. Slade lived in almost complete darkness. One would think I'd be used to it after our time together, but I wasn't. There was something… human about the sun. Here, it was nothing but darkness and coldness. There weren't any places I had been that felt less human than this one. Of course, what could I expect, living with a man who was less than human himself?

Not even Batman's cave was as inhumane as here. There was always the sound of running water present, reminding me of life, not to mention the bats that lived there. Here, everything was deathly quiet.

Slade threw open a thick, metal door and I hurried in after him, the door slamming shut behind me with a resounding crash. I opened and closed my eyes several times. The room was in absolute darkness. I looked to both sides, but I still couldn't make out anything. I took a hesitant step forward, but was halted by Slade's harsh voice.

"Stay there." I obeyed and heard his footsteps draw farther away from me. I heard a soft click, and several television screens flickered to life in front of me. I squinted in the sudden blue light, waiting for my eyes to adjust.

Slade pressed a small, black remote into my hands. "Hit three once I'm gone," he instructed. "I'll expect a full report from you when I get back. With your arm as it is, I can hardly send you out and expect you to come back without further injuries. The cast would be a hindrance to you," he sneered.

I felt immensely relieved as soon as he left the room. His fury had still not diminished. I couldn't say I blamed him. I had read something exceedingly personal to him. Still, I couldn't help but wonder what the rest of his journal contained. It was a dangerous curiosity; one I would never try to satiate.

I sat down in the single wooden chair. It was uncomfortable, but not unbearably so. I pressed the third button, as Slade had said to. The remote slipped from my fingers as the televisions came to life. I was stunned at what I saw. Somehow, Slade had managed to place cameras in… Titan's Tower. My shocked mind couldn't comprehend how he had done it, much less when. I only sat, staring in horror at the televisions.

It seemed as if not much had changed since I left. Beast Boy and Cyborg had barricaded themselves on the couch, and were playing a video game. There were enough snacks piled around them to feed a small army. Raven was floating near a window, her eyes closed. I could almost hear her chanting, "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos" in her monotonous voice.

My hands tightened on my chair in a panic. Where was Starfire? I leaned forward, my heart thundering in my chest, but I couldn't find her on any of the screens.

Slade! He had taken her! There was no other explanation. He was mad at me, and he had killed her to punish me.

Think rationally, Robin, I said to myself. When would he have time to do that? I leaned back in my chair, but didn't loosen my grip on it. It was all I could do to remain sitting. My anger at Slade flared even hotter than before, but—

My breath shuddered out of me in relief. There she was. She entered the tower with a blonde girl, whom I could only assume was Terra.

I watched them in silence, absorbing everything they did, every movement they made. I wished desperately that I could hear their voices. My longing to be there with them grew so strong it hurt. I tried to ignore the tears forming in my eyes. Finally, I lost the battle and I let them run unchecked down my face.

Three years. I had been away from them for three years. Three years living with a cruel tyrant, who was now taunting me with memories of the past. He knew how much it hurt to watch the people I had come to love go about their lives as if I had never existed. It was obvious they never needed me in the first place, but my heart yearned to be with them; but to betray Slade would mean their deaths.

I choked on the lump in my throat, burying my face in my hand. When would it end? Would he ever let me go?

Of course not. I would be chained in this dim dungeon, living off scraps of empty memories with a madman as my jailer for all of eternity.

How could he be this cruel, this cold-hearted, to dangle what I wanted more than anything in the world right in front of my face, knowing I could never have it again?

Eventually, the tears stopped. Eventually, I would forget how to feel. I'd be an empty shell. My mind was slowly breaking. I wondered dully if Slade even noticed it. His mind was already long gone, and it wouldn't be too long before I lost the will to care for my own life. No one would mourn me if I died, except, perhaps, the lunatic that had caused my death in the first place.

It was oddly… fitting that I would die alone; but, if I died, Slade would win. My friends would die. I was the only reason he kept them alive.

I wondered if I'd ever get to tell them how sorry I was and how much I cared for them. I feared I never would.