Chapter Nine
I don't think I remember a more crazier night, and now that the sun is starting to peak through the skyscrapers of the Manhattan skyline, I have a feeling the craziness is going to carry on into the day. And how I could be so lucky as to escape death three times in the past 48 hours is beyond me, but it only leaves a dead body in my place each time, so it's not exactly a win-win situation here. I do know one thing, whoever that idiot was who threw that dagger and ripped the button off of my shirt is going to pay!
Yeah, I know, it's just a shirt, but... it's my favorite one!
It's nice to be back in the sanctity of my own domain again, even if it does smell like old sweat socks. My personal space is also kind of crowded at the moment. Raphael is slumped backwards in my old armchair in my sitting area, snoring up a storm, and April is sleeping peacefully in my bed. Both of them refused to go to their own places, I guess out of fear of the Foot attacking them, so, like the nice guy I am, I offered my place, to which I received no hesitation.
Another earth-shaking snore from Raph breaks my concentration and I jam the needle deep into my finger. A few choice words fall from my mouth as a bubble of blood spurts up, and I move it quickly away from my shirt. It's bad enough I can't sew a button back on worth a shit, but I don't need to add blood stains to it. A quick trip to the bathroom for a band-aid, and maybe a stop at my desk for a little sunrise drink. I think a cigarette is in order too. I haven't had one in about six hours, the longest I've ever gone without, and my shaking hands are a good sign of the nicotine withdrawal.
After I gather all of my 'supplies', I sit back down on the floor and return to my radio. My favorite jazz piece is on, and the temptation to turn the volume up is strong. I light my smoke, tap my feet together along with the slow tempo, and lean back against the wall under the windows. Through the thick fog of smoke, I watch the reds, pinks and purples of the rising sun come through the blinds and dance across the ceiling, and I feel a certain peace fall around me. It's nice. Too bad I couldn't stay like this, in this exact moment, and have things be like this all the time.
Sleep is creeping up on me again, and I know that I should try to get a little rest, but my brain is just buzzing about what Raph told me. What happened between the Shredder and Leo? It just doesn't make sense, not that anything in my life ever did. But Leo would never get involved with someone as vile as Shredder. And this whole mess, it just seems so...
But not even you can stop what was set into motion years ago
I replay the last words The Rat King said to me before he was silenced. You know, it's starting to become annoying how I've been hearing this same shit over and over but never getting an explanation. Annoying, yeah, that's what this whole mess has become! Annoying, like the symphony coming from my sitting area. Really, Raph, get your adenoids checked out or something, for crying out loud!
So, what was set in motion years ago? What event took place that has snowballed into this chaotic nightmare that's going on around me? What were you hiding from me, Leo? What could have happened that made you so hellbent on going after Shredder? Come on, Leo! Tell me what is going on!
My eyes break away from the streaking rays of sunlight and drift down to the closet beside my bed, and I get this strong urge to it. I straighten myself up, tiptoeing around the bed so not to wake April, and slowly pull the door open. It creaks in protest, but soon settles down, and I'm left standing there without a thought as to what I'm doing. What would Leo want to show me that's in here? All that's in this poor excuse for a closet is, well, my clothes. Seven shirts and four pairs of slacks to be exact, and of course my worn out trench coat, which has seen better days. The top shelf holds a few shoe boxes of photos and keepsakes, but other than that, there's nothing. I begin to shut the door when I realize I had forgotten one more item in my inventory: the large brown box that holds Leonardo's belongings.
I bend down and wipe away the thick layer of dust that covers the box, taking note of the mouse holes that have been chewed on the sides. That mouse better hope nothing inside is damaged. I'm still mad about my shirt, and I have a trap in my kitchen just waiting for that rodent. I scoot the box out carefully, then plop back down on the floor, but hesitate in opening it. The last time I look at Leo's things was when I packed this box. Besides Leo's mother, I was the only other person( turtle, whatever) to go into his apartment after he died and collect whatever I wanted to remember him by. And as I pull the flaps back, I try to remember exactly what it was I took.
Right on top was that samurai code book that he always carried around, its pages a little yellowed from the dampness of the closet. I pick it up gently and held in my hands, allowing my thumbs to caress over the ridges of the cover. Underneath that was his various notebooks: his journals, poetry, haiku, etc. Leo may have been tough, but his sensitive side also came out in one art form or another, and I never would have known this if I hadn't discovered this in his apartment. I guess he was afraid I would laugh at him, even though I never would have. Next was a Japanese wall hanging that Leo had made in high school, which was just a long piece of white cloth pulled between two bamboo sticks, and a few Japanese characters printed on it in black ink, and I didn't have to be a Japanese language scholar to know what it read:
He Who Sows Virtue Reaps Honor
A smile grows on my face as I pull the hanging out of the box and lay it on the notebooks beside of me. That's all from his apartment. The only things left are two manila folders from Leo's desk. I know one contains all of the information on the Foot that Leo kept hidden from the rest of the force, but the other, I have no clue what's in it. I was stashed away in his bottom drawer, under piles of papers, and I was lucky to see it before the cleaning lady tossed all of that paperwork away. I reach into the box and lift the folders up, but stop my lifting in midair. I can feel a pair of eyes on me, so I quickly turn to meet them.
"Did you not get any sleep?" April says softly. She's laying on her side, her arms folded under the pillow and her red hair flowing freely around her face. The rays of the sky catch the highlights in her hair, like the halo of an angel, and I'd be lying through my teeth if I said it didn't take my breath away. I feel the heat in my cheeks as I recount the mornings I woke to find that same sight next to me, and I quickly look away.
"I didn't wake you, did I?" I ask as I finish pulling the folders into my lap. I turn my head just slightly and watch April push herself up, the shoulder of my red, white and blue horizontal striped pajama top falling down her delicate shoulder.
"No, that vacuum cleaner sitting across the room did," April mumbles. "And he wonders why I won't stay the night with him." She stretches for a few seconds, then swings her long legs to the floor. I return back to the folders and pretend like I don't notice that she is taking a seat next to me on the floor. Pretend not to notice, please, could I be anymore obvious?
"What is all of that?" April points to the stack on the other side of me, then covers a yawn with her hands.
"It's just some of Leo's things. I was hoping I could find something in here to help me out." I shrug my shoulders and open the mysterious folder, but I'm really hoping I can keep my hormones in check. The things a girl can do to guy when she's wearing his pajama top and nothing underneath.
April watches me for a second, then reaches across my lap and grabs one of the notebooks. Our eyes meet as she pulls back, and she gives me just a hint of a smile. But it's enough to distract me from my mission and instead listen to her soft-as-silk voice as she reads aloud.
" 'A crane. Shading in the evening twilight. Trails its smoke-like wings.' Wow!" She gasps with a surprise expression on her face. "That's beautiful. I never knew Leo was so artistic!" April scans a few pages, then picks out another one to read. " ' Lotus leaves in the pond. Ride on water. Rain in June.' These are just fantastic!"
"I bet it is, if you could understand it," I shake my head as she flips through more pages. "I've never understood haiku. It's just a bunch of jumbled words that are thrown together."
April gives me a no-nonsense look in response and begins to read another. " 'Petals of chrysanthemum. Curve in their whiteness. Under the moon.'"
I drop the folder back into my lap and sigh. "Now explain to me what that means."
She smiles as she closes the notebook and holds it close to her chest. "You're the smartest guy I know and yet you can't see the romance and beauty in these poems."April shakes her head, still holding the smile on her face.
I wrinkle my forehead and return to the folder. Romance, one concept in life I never really 'got'. Leo was the hopeless romantic, the 'Romeo' type that would could charm the socks of a girl, but it was strange that he was never involved with anyone. His life was his work. Women and the trouble they bring were always the last thing on his mind. Me on the other hand, the idea of buying flowers, going out for expensive meals and watching the sun rise while making love on the hood of a car was way beyond my levels of thinking, and it's probably what drove me and April apart. She's likes to be wined and dined. Give me a bottle of Jack, a good book, and a jazz record, and I'm set for the night.
I suddenly notice the stillness around the apartment, and it was laying heavy between me and April. She still had her eyes glued on me, watching as I pretended to be reading the papers in front of me, even though the words looked like a jumbled mess as my subconscious mind was drawn elsewhere. I clear my throat, hoping to break her stare, but it doesn't work. I hope she's not in the mood for a chat about how she still has feelings for me, that she wants me back, and how much she wants to throw me down on that lumpy mattress and makeup for lost time.
"So, what are you trying to find, exactly?"
Okay, so maybe I was wrong. I told you I was a dreamer.
"Uh, well," I clear my throat again, trying to push the dirty images out of my head. "Raph told me that Leo had some kind of connection to the Shredder, and I was hoping that I would find in answer in here." I held the folder up, but kept my eyes to the paper. " But there's not much in here. School papers, drawings- just things from when he was a kid."
April hummed out a response and nodded. It grew quiet again, and the nervousness factor rose higher as my patience was wearing thinner. Dammit, woman! If you have something to say to me-
"Don, can I tell you something?"
Thank you! You don't know how much this has been killing me!
"Uh, sure." I calmly close the folder and lay it down in my lap. April sighs heavily, running her hand over the pieces of hair that has fallen in her eyes, then speaks.
"About what happened last night, between me and Raph, I-,"
What? No, no, no! That's not what you're supposed to say! Don't bring Raph into this! "It's alright. Whatever that was, it was between you and Raph."
April shakes her head at me and places her right hand on my shoulder. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry you had to witness that. We've been having a lot of...problems, and we had no right to say things in front of you."
I give up! My fantasy is ruined! All I'm doing now is picturing Raph's head on a platter with an apple in his mouth. "It's okay, really! I didn't know what it was all about anyway! It's not any of my business what goes on between the two of you."
I feel her delicate hand slid from my shoulder as a few soft sobs come out of her mouth. As I catch her hand before it falls into her lap, I suddenly find April straddling my left leg. Her arms wrap around my neck tightly, like she's afraid out falling out of my reach, and her tears begin to soak through the powder blue shirt I'm wearing. I snap my head around toward Raphael, letting go of the breath I was holding as he continues to snore away, unaware that his girlfriend and I are tingled in an embrace.
"I hate him, Don," April whispers into my ear through her cries. " I can't stand him at all! He's so mean to me! I never loved him! I just used him for his money! I was so stupid to leave-"
I pull April closer to my chest and caressed her soft hair as her tears drowned out the rest of her words. I may have not been a romantic, but I know when a woman needs affection and a touch of sensitivity. It was the one thing that I could give April when Casey couldn't, and I guess a life of luxury was the thing Raph could give where I could not, and I always knew it. I just never wanted to admit it to myself that April was like that.
April pulled away, locking her green eyes into mine before placing her clammy palms on my cheeks and resting her forehead against mine.
" Don," she whispered. " I'm sorry. I wish I could go back and change things. I never would have left you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. You have no idea how much I've wanted to come back to you."
No idea? Yeah, I had no idea. April then moved my head around, bringing her lips closer to mine, and I felt a shiver go through her as she anticipated the moment when they would join. I held on to her shapely waist and inhaled the rose scent that always hovered around her, and it seemed like everything that had drove us apart began to melt away. But in that same moment, I knew that it was wrong to hold her so close. It was wrong of me to touch her in a loving manner. It was wrong of me to think that I could save her from the life she was living.
Things were different these days. We had both changed. I turned cold, she became greedy, and there was nothing that we could do that would change it.
I pushed April back gently and held her tiny wrists in my hands. The tears in her eyes began to rebuild themselves as her heart broke into a million pieces around us. A tear broke free and sailed down her pale cheek, and I let go of her just in time to catch it with my thumb before it reached her chin.
"I can't do this, April," I whispered back " You know you can't either. It's not right for us to be this way."
April inhaled sharply and stood up, wiping at her face with an intensive anger and overwhelming embarrassment that turned her white skin blood red as she went into the bathroom and shut the door. I tried not to strain my ears to listen for her sobbing, but it was impossible not to. I had just crushed all of her hopes of being happy again. Shit, what kind of a twisted asshole am I? No, I can't go after her. I did the right thing... I think. See, this is why I don't like getting involved with things like this!
As I grab at my sudden aching head, I spot Leo's folder on the floor in front of me, the papers in it scattered around. April must have knocked it away when she climbed onto me. I scoop everything up and try to shuffle them back when I notice a document stuck behind one of Leo's school papers. I set the papers to the side and pull open the document, which turns out to be Leo's adoption certificate, and scroll down a few lines. I remember the day when Leo woke me up and told me his new parents were coming to take him to his new home. He was so excited. He stood by the window and waited all morning for them to come, and when that black limo pulled up to the orphanage, Leo jumped around and shouted at the top of his lungs. I can still see the well dressed Japanese couple that exited the limo and entered the building. The woman was petite, with a porcelain complexion and a warm, loving smile. Her husband was much taller and carried himself very well, though he never smiled in the way his wife did. And while I mentioned to Leo that guy made me feel a bit uneasy, Leo just laughed and told me goodbye, calling out to me as he climbed into the limo that he'd see me again some day. But that guy, I can still see that look on his face, that scary, almost evil look that he gave me as I waved to Leo.
I laugh to myself as I recall that look from my childhood and much it haunted me for months after. You know, now that I think about it, it was almost that same look that Leo had on his face before he threw himself at the Shred-
"What the fuck?" I hear myself scream as I jump to my feet, the paper still firmly grasped in my hands. What does that say? There is no way I just saw that! This can't be possible!
"Donnie?" I hear Raph mumble and shuffle out of the chair. "What's goin' on? What happened?"
The sound of the bathroom door then rings in my ears, as does the soft tapping of April's feet as they both join me, and I bet they were caught off guard by the alarmed stupor that was hanging across my face.
I re-read the name printed on the paper, making sure I wasn't dreaming, but hoping at the same time that I was. So this is what started it. This is what made Leo go crazy. This is what made Leo thirsty for revenge. This is what Leo gave his life for.
"Dammit, Donnie!" Raph's shouts take my focus away as he rips the paper from my hands. "If ya have the balls ta wake me up, ya better have a damn good excuse for it! Now what the Hell is it?"
At first I didn't have an answer. It was too hard for me to comprehend, much less form it in a sentence. All I could do was point to the paper, and as Raph and April read down the document, I finally found the words to sum up my state of horrified shock.
"Oroku Saki. The Shredder. The guy that Leo spent five years hunting down without a reason as to why, was the one who gave Leo a chance at a better life. Oroku Saki was Leo's adoptive father."