Thanks peeps...sorry for the wait
this one's looooooong!
Snape is my favorite charactor, or was until he killed Dumbedore. So he is going to get it.
Adios
Ok I made some changes sooooooooo...Enjoy!
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Chapter 3: In Which Snape goes Homicidal and Ron learns about Barney
"Get it off, Get it off," wailed Ron as soon as they found the first empty classroom.
Hermione had to struggle to hold in her laughter. Closing her eyes she mentally berated herself this is a serious situation Hermione. I have to control myself, for Ron.
Opening her eyes perfectly sure of herself, she burst into hysterical laughter at the sight of Ron jumping on the floor trying to cover his green hair with his green tinged arms. He looked utterly ridiculous.
Harry slumped against a desk, his face red and tears streaming down his cheeks. At Hermione's outburst Ron came out of his little world of humiliation and saw Harry and Hermione sobbing with laughter. His face flushed with anger. "Thanks guys, I'm getting warm and tingly with all the love and support flowing from you." He sneered his face getting redder by the second.
"We're sorry Ron" gasped Hermione, "but it's so funny" and she burst into another fit of giggles,"
"Can we focus on fixing the problem, please?" Roared Ron, his face nearly purple with shame and rage.
"He looks just like Barney" sobbed Harry, little whimpers coming out as he tried to contain himself
Then looking at Hermione they burst out laughing again.
"Guys this isn't funny, I don't want to be green. Please stop. And who the hell is Barney?"
Hermione wiped her eyes on the corned of her robe and straitening herself up turned to Harry. "Ron's right, we can't let him wander around looking like Barney. And Ron, Barney is a character on a muggle TV show. He's an annoying purple dinosaur who hops around and sings stupid song like this." Hermione did a quick impulsive impression of Barney singing "No more Purple Dinosaur," that almost sent poor Harry over the edge again. Even Ron managed a strained smile.
"Ok Ron sit down, it must have been that pathetic attempt you made at a polyjuice potion, you saw the green smoke." She said hurriedly going back into book-worm mode, pacing up and down in front of him. "Now I need to know exactly how you screwed up your potion. Give my you book." She commanded, snatching it from his bag and flipping to the recipe for polyjuice potion. "Ok show me what you did" sitting on the desk next to him.
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Severus Snape was going to kill someone, anyone, everyone, he didn't care. He stalked menacingly down the hall towards the headmaster's office, a small girl hurrying along behind him. He was very angry. Well actually he had gone beyond the realm of anger and into the realm of psychotic homicidal killer hours ago.
How could he have been so stupid? To trust Albus Dumbledore with your life was one thing, but to trust him with your reputation was another matter entirely.
Why, Oh why was he stupid enough to believe him.
Remembering their conversation last night,
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"Don't worry about a thing Severus, I am sure that they wouldn't possibly turn on a teacher"
"But Albus, you can't know what will happen for certain" cut in McGonagall, " all you did was tell them to stalk…..patrol the school and catch people unawares. Even you don't fully know what they are capable of."
"Now, now Minerva, Severus, I honestly don't know why you would be so worried about such a thing. It's only a bit of fun. This school has been so dismal. The children need some cheering up."
"What they need is to be fed one by one to the giant squid." Muttered Snape, clearly not satisfied with Dumbledore's answer."
"What was that Severus?" Asked Dumbledore looking at him with that twinkle, that made Snape want to shove a quill in it, in his eyes.
"Nothing Albus, I'm just not convinced that there isn't something to be worried about."
"Don't worry Severus, they won't atta…..inflict any damage upon you or any of the other teachers. What are you afraid of anyway, you have my word that you won't get stuck under a mistletoe with anyone, least of all a student. Any more questions?" a pause "well goodnight to you both, have a lemon drop before you leave"
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Now seething with hatred and anger, at Dumbledore for inflicting such an atrocity against him, and at himself for believing the old rat, he was doing the only thing his furious mind could think of at a time like this. He was going to kill Dumbledore, with his mind, while listening to him prattle on about it all being for the best.
ALL FOR THE BEST! He was going to have to kiss on of his students. And not just any student, but a third year. A child.
Snape finally broke his angry stride when he reached the headmaster's office. "Bubblicious." He snarled at the statue, blushing at having to say that stupid muggle candy. He then turned his murderous gaze on the little scrap of a girl who had the audacity to giggle at him, she shrank against the wall under his gaze. The mistletoe was still happily flying around his head, whistling a love song, he swatted at it furiously as he headed up the stairs behind the statue to Dumbledore's office, pulling her along behind him.
"How dare you, you, you, you old man!" Snape screamed at the headmaster, who just looked highly amused and not even the slightest bit intimidated.
"Why Severus what on earth is bothering you, you are going to give poor miss Charles a heart attack, come here my dear." Said Dumbledore, his voice trembling with suppressed laughter, that infuriating twinkle Snape hated so much back, and he materialized a cushy armchair for her. After he had made her comfortable with a goblet of pumpkin juice he turned to Snape.
"Now Severus, why don't you tell me the problem."
"The problem sir is that damned prank you pulled." He said his voice quivering with rage. "What the hell were you thinking pretending to reassure us and lying to our faces, you could have at least told us the truth so we could have dodged around the castle. Instead of thinking we were safe, and then something like this happens."
"Now Severus it's just a little Christmas cheer." Here Samantha Charles snorted into he drink and looked at Dumbledore incredulously, he turned and winked at her.
"A little what! A little Christmas cheer! I have been attacked by a mistletoe, one that you assured me couldn't possibly turn on the teachers. And now I have to kiss a student1" Screamed Snape his pale face red with anger.
"Come now Severus, it won't be that bad, now I admit that I had no idea this was going to happen. When I reassured you and Minerva last night, I told you what I assumed to be true. However I do know that there is no way to get out of your predicament except do what you are supposed to."
"I have to kiss him!" Yelled Samantha Charles, speaking for the first time. "He's a teacher, he mean...He's Snape! that's so gross. Please Professor Dumbledore you have to think of another way. That stupid thing won't let me get even 4 feet from him, where do you expect me to sleep," Snape's face went so pale at this comment that if you looked closely you could see his skull andeye sockets, she continued, "What about my classes? How am I going to take a shower?" She screamed panicking as she herself just realized her situation, then burst into tears.
"Now, now child" he said in a soothing voice, "I'm sure just a peck on the lips and its over. You'll probably forget about it in an hour. Well now come on get it over with. Come now Severus surly you can't be afriad of a mere student?" Asked Dumbledore atseeing Snape's horrified expession.
Snape sent him a look of absolute loathing, which heshugged of as if he had compemented his new socks, which were designed tolook exactly like a 7up can and showing beneath his robes. "Oh come on Severus. The sooner you do it the sooner it's over with." Snape sneered at him and turned towards a trembling Samantha and place the tinsiest little stiff kiss he possibly could, they all looked at the mistletoe expectantly. It hummed as if trying to make up it's mind and then let out and obscenly loud fart and shook its berries in obvious dissapointment, and resumed twirling around their heads.
"I will not do this Albus!" Snape fairly screamed through the opressive stink that had begun to seep into the room, as they ran for the door. Gasping for breath the emerged from Dumbledore's office, the gargoyle shutting securely behind them.
"Now Severus why don'twe calm down, I will figure a way out of this situation, in the meantime why don't youtake miss Charles down to the Great Hall, I do believe dinner is about to start, you can sit at the staff table my dear, until this is resolved."
Snape muttering something about torturing Dumbledore's feet and the crucio curse under his breath stalked out of the office towards the Great Hall, Samantha stumbling along behind him, trying to wipe off the tiny part of him taht had touched her.
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After two hours or interrogating Ron, Hermione was ready to throw herself, or maybe just throw Ron, off the Astronomy tower. Harry had fallen asleep an hour ago, and was now muttering something about Barney and a man eating goat, which was keeping Ron laughing instead of paying attention.
"Fine," she said forcefully shutting the potions book.
Harry jolted awake screaming "Where's the rabbit." Effectively sending Ron into a fit of giggles.
"I'm going down to dinner. If either of you want to eat tonight I suggest you follow me." Hermione said as she packed her books and headed out the door.
"But Mione what about my hair?" Ron yelled following he from the room. "I can't go to the Great Hall like this, what will Malfoy say. Oh no this is going to give them a reason to mock me for the rest of my life." Groaned Ron, now realizing he was going to have to face the student body with every hair on him a violent shade of green.
"Don't worry Ron." Said Harry slapping him on the back. "At least you didn't get turned into a ferret and bounced through the Great Hall (I can't remember the name of the entry way thing, so I'm saying Great Hall)"
Ron and Harry laughed for a second, remembering Malfoy bouncing around in ferret form. Hermione spared the memory a smile, it was such a treasured memory.
Then steeling herself in front of the doors opened them, and they stepped into the Greta Hall. It took a moment to realize that all was not well.
Hermione gasped in shocked horror. "Bloody Hell, no" exclaimed Harry and Ron together, as they gazed at the scene of pandemonium before them
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Haha………….it's late……….I'll update soon
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GO TO BED NOW!
STAND UP AND LEAVE!
sorry that was for my sister...she came up behind me and I didn't want my parents to find out she was awake