Growing Up

Part 15: Space?

Summary:Grissom's planleads to some distance and reflection.

A/N: That took longer than I planed, sorry. I hope some of you are still with me.

Xxxxx

"Sara!"

His head swiveled around, shocked at being caught like that.

She smiled, but when she saw a hint of panic in his eyes, she squatted down behind him and laid one arm over his waist while the other went to the back of his neck. It was an awkward embrace but it brought her close to him. "I love you."

She gave him a quick kiss.

"I love that I get to see you like that."

Another kiss.

"I love that you can be a real teddy bear."

Kiss.

"I love you."

A smile.

"And I hope this doesn't freak you out."

Grissom was speechless, not really scared, just speechless.

He stared up at her, the plush chipmunk falling from his hand.

"I am freaking you out, aren't I?" Her eyes were clouding over, battling some tears away.

At that moment, Grissom realized that he was about to ruin a moment that should have been perfect. He had promised to try.

Before she could retreat, he leaned over and returned her kisses. "No, you're not."

He trailed some kisses to her ear and whispered, "Thank you."

When she smiled as he pulled away, he was glad that he had just made it.

"So, what's the plan for the rest of the day?"

She sat down behind him, keeping her arms around him as he turned back to Amelia.

Of course the little girl couldn't help him, but her smile gave him the push to go along with his plan.

"Since you have to be at work tonight, I thought maybe you would like to go to your apartment to get some new clothes and everything else you need. Then you could come back and we could have dinner."

He had not given her the chance to interrupt, hastening through his planned speech. If he gave her the chance, she would probably misunderstand something. She could think that he didn't want her here when that was the last thing he wanted. He hoped that she had listened to the end to know that this was not about him wanting her gone, wanting to be alone, or feeling crowded.

He just wanted to surprise her, but he couldn't tell her that.

"Will you be alright with her? I really need new clothes for work. And I don't have an outfit in my locker anymore."

He showed less relief than he felt, not wanting to alert her to the fact that he was hiding something.

"I think I can manage. I'll have to tonight."

The question now was: should he broach the other thing on his mind? He was scared she would turn him down, but he was just as scared that she would take him up on it. He wanted her around, not only because of Amelia. What scared him most was that that would be the third day in a row and that heightened the chance of messing up.

Additionally, he was really getting used to having her around. Soon it would not be enough to 'see' her occasionally.

Were they ready for that?

Well, he was about to find out. This weekend was proving to be a real turning point.

"Could you get some clothes for tomorrow? I mean…you could also return to your apartment after work. You'll need your rest and I would understand…"

He was rambling. Gil Grissom was rambling.

That's what Sara did to him. The wordy, eloquent man had vanished and an insecure man in love was left behind.

In love - how long had that seemed impossible?

"Of course I will be back. If you want me." Sara gave him a shy smile, breaking off before she would be rambling too.

"Good, then that's settled." Grissom turned back to Amelia who was watching both of them, cuddling her ladybug close to her chest, her thumb in her mouth. "Is the bug too tired to fly?"

When he reached out to wriggle the toy from her and make it fly, Amelia shook her head and grinned around her thumb. She stood up and waved the bug around again.

"While you're gone I can prepare dinner and maybe take a walk with her."

It was his not so subtle way to get her out of the house, but Sara seemed to miss that point completely as she nodded and gave him a quick kiss before returning to the bedroom to gather her things. When she emerged again, he forced himself not to look up and remain casual.

"When should I have dinner ready?"

A moment later, he wondered where this domesticity came from. Her smile let him forget all the implications that came with this association. 'This' was now, and he should concentrate on that.

"How about six-thirty or, rather, seven? But I don't think Amelia will last that long." Sara put her bag down next to the girl and stroked her cheek, making her smile.

"I'll tide her over by giving her something in an hour or so. Whatever time you prefer will be fine."

Sara cocked her head to the side, calculating the time she would need at her apartment. "I think seven would be better. I probably also need to go through some bills and water my plants."

"Good, seven it is."

Sara nodded, gave Amelia a kiss on the cheek, and winked at Grissom before closing the door behind her.

"Finally!"

"Da!"

xxxxx

Sara let out a sigh when she closed the door of her apartment behind her. Home.

Not that she hadn't enjoyed staying with Grissom – on the contrary. There was nothing better than waking up next to him. She had never felt so rested, warm, protected…loved.

She thought that maybe a little breather would do him good now that he could not hide behind his work. Did she need one?

It seemed ridiculous because she would be going to work tonight, but it was there, wasn't it?

She looked around her apartment, trying to consciously relax and let the outside world fall away. This was her home.

Then why did it feel so cold?

Everything looked completely normal, nothing was out of place. She pushed herself off of the door and began to light some lamps all around the apartment.

It was the middle of the day and the sun was still high in the sky. She hoped the lights would spread their warmth. When that didn't help much, she opened the windows to let in some warm air. Additionally, she turned on the stereo, needing some background noise.

Her steps halted when she realized what was happening. The loneliness and isolation she had thought normal were much more pronounced now that she had gotten used to the buzz of the last two days.

How had she gotten used to it so fast?

The answer was, as with most personal things, Grissom.

Why should she feel uncomfortable if their relationship was finally moving in the right direction? Grissom had opened up to her.

A smile appeared on her face. As tragic as the reason for their talk had been, something positive came out of it. Maybe now, Grissom would be able to look forward with more confidence, in her and himself.

She had pretended that it was okay, but inside, something was burning. Her heart ached for him, but she knew an overreaction would have made it worse for him.

And then, his hearing…it was something that would always been an issue. She would have to do some research on it, but she was sure that she could live with every consequence as long as Grissom was with her. The future looked much brighter now that she had found her place outside of work.

Looking around her apartment once more, she decided to hurry. Timeout be damned. The sooner she was done here, the sooner the warmth would return.

TBC