Chapter 3: The Unfortunate Side Effect of Betrayal

She lies awake, wishing something would distract her from her thoughts. She had always had a vivid imagination. In the field, it had helped her improvise but alone in the hospital room, it only tormented her. She couldn't help but wonder if anything had ever been true. There were too many questions, too many things that could have been a lie. That fateful day when she walked into the CIA, did he really have an instinct about her? Or did he say that because he had been ordered to? Was that really his father's watch that stopped that day? Did he really say those things that Vaughn had told her? Or had it all been part of some plan, just a glorified pick-up line?

Did he really believe in her? Or did he help rescue her from the FBI to make it look like he was going against protocal, when he was really following it?

Was he really her ally? Or was he just saying that to throw her off, making it seem like he was the only one she could trust, when in reality, he was the one person that she shouldn't have trusted?

Was he instructed on how to act with her, or did he come up with that all on his own?

Did she really say 'Don't frost the pie'? Or was it some cute little anticdote to make it seem like they were friends, like their relationship wasn't just professional.

The dinner, the story about his code name, was any of it true?

Did he really mean what he said about not being able to sleep when she was away on missions? Did he really want to kiss her?

Or did they tell him to get closer to her? Was their relationship an order?

Did he love her so much that it almost killed him?

Did he love her at all?

Was everything just a facade? Was any of it real?

She hated the doubt she felt, the uncertainty of everything.

"Syd," she heard a faint voice call out to her.

She stirred. She had just begun to fall into a light sleep.

"Sydney."

The voice was louder now. She sat up. "What?"

She was suprised to find Weiss sitting beside her.

"Hey," she said sleepily.

"Sorry I woke you."

"It's okay. I thought visiting hours were over."

"Well, being CIA does have its perks, you know."

"Really? I thought that was just a rumor."

They both smile. "So, what's up?" she asks.

"What, I can't just come by and see how my friend Sydney is doing?"

"You and I both know that you have a purpose here, if you didn't, you'd be at my house looking after my sister."

"Right," he says, slightly ashamed that he is that transparent. "Vaugn's awake."

She looks away, unsure of how to take the news. Relief washes over her body and she wishes that it hadn't. And then the dread of seeing him again sets in.

Weiss notices this transition. "Syd, what's going on? What aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing."

"Look, I know you're like, a super spy and all, but when it comes to Vaughn, you're terribly transparent."

She sighs, knowing that she can't lie to him.

"When we were in Santa Barbara, just before the accident...he started to tell me some things. He got really serious all of the sudden so I kind of asked jokingly if he was a bad guy. He said it depended on who I asked. And then, he said that his name wasn't Michael Vaughn."

Weiss slumps back in his chair. "Oh, wow. Whoa. I mean...what?"

"Exactly." And this is when it starts, the tears that had previously refused to fall are now falling in full force.

Weiss is by her side, his arm around her shoulder. "Hey, hey," he says, rubbing her back.

She frantically wipes at her tears. "I just..I guess I was in denial...or something. I hadn't actually said it until just now. I don't think I ever really admitted it to myself and now," she says, taking in a shuddering breath. "It just seems all too real."

"I know," he says, because there's really nothing else that can be said.

"He also said that when I walked into his office that day, that it wasn't an accident. I guess, it was planned or something. Eric, you didn't know anything about that, did you?"

His first reaction is to take offense. But he knows that he shouldn't, because she has just been betrayed by the one person she thought would never betray her, who is to say that she should willingly trust the rest of them?

"No, Syd. Of course not."

She breathes a sigh of relief. "Okay. Good."

"I just...don't get it. I went to the Farm with him. How could I not have known? So, I mean, what's the deal? Is he a double?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know? He just was like 'Oh, I'm not Mikey' and then what, silence?"

"No," she said, irritated. "And then a car rammed into the side of us."

"Oh. Sorry." He hangs his head, unsure of how to proceed. The shock of what she has just told him is still too fresh and he can't seem to pick one thought out of the many that are filling his head. He shakes his head. "There has to be a logic explanation, there has to be."

"But what if there isn't?" she asks. Clearly, she's thought about this. She wouldn't have said that so quickly if she hadn't been mulling it over.

He says nothing more. He leans down slowly, kisses her cheek, and leaves.

She's discharged later that day. Her father comes in, but says nothing. He just helps her into a wheelchair. She wonders if he knows yet.

He wheels her to Vaughn's room. She makes him stop at the door. She stands up and hesitates. She draws in a sharp breath and opens the door. She knows that if she doesn't go in now, she won't go in at all.

She sees him lying there, eyes closed and she's instantly reminded of all the times she's seen him in this condition. And it hurts, seeing him like this. It hurts so much worse than she thought it would.

She purposefully makes her to his bedside. She lightly brushes her hand against his. "Hey," she says, gently.

His eyes flutter open. They are filled with panic. They dart wildly, studying her face. "You shot me," he says, matter-of-factly.

"Did not!" She blurts out. It was her first reaction. "You must have been hallucinating."

He laughs. She looks at him, bewildered. "It's just like that time when you stabbed me."

"No," she says, confused. "I really did stab you." She realizes how strange this conversation might sound to anyone else.

"I know but there was this other time..."

She lets him trail off, not wanting to get any more confused. She was confused enough already.

"So, how are you?"

"I'm okay. They say I should be able to check out in a few days."

"That's good."

She stands up and folds her arms, looking down at her feet. An awkward silence drifts between them.

"I'm sorry if you feel betrayed."

The comment is abrupt and it feels out of place in the silence.

"Yes, well, that is the unfortunate side affect of betrayal."

And with that, she leaves.