5. Potions Disaster
The Potions lesson next day was a disaster, even by Harry's standards, even though it provided them with some good laughs.
They'd been matched by threes this time, Neville with Dean and Seamus for once, and Harry and his friends were under a barrage of hexes from the Slytherins that seemed to be systematical.
Snape, meanwhile, was about his own desk and seemed to notice not one thing.
But he surely would, as soon as some Gryffindor lost it, and got at the Snake house.
Hermione had sighed when she'd seen the desk they'd been assigned for work, and murmured something that hat sounded like 'trouble table'.
Later on, Harry had been amazed how fast she was in noticing all mischief that was coming their way, and how she countered or deflected everything the moment it was thrown at them almost effortlessly, with a shake of her wrist – all the while going about her potion as if those were the most natural things to do simultaneously. She was also very quiet at their defence. No teacher who was not looking for mischief would notice. It smacked of routine...
It seemed to Harry that Ron did not notice half of what was going on, and that his friend did not mind Hermione doing all the defending, busying himself rather quietly with the cutting of ingredients.
He himself was getting angry though, so much so that it must be palpable.
Neville and the other boys, as well as the other tables, did not seem to face a fraction of the mischief they had to endure, and Harry wondered what it all meant, but he was too busy concocting the appointed potion and counting his stirs to stick to that line of thought. When he'd worked with Neville, they had been under constant attack… even at other tables.
Harry was mainly stirring the potion and thus had intervals he could spend observing the room. The Slytherins seemed to work quietly in their groups much like they did, and their hexes were so inconspicuous that it was hard to tell who cast them, or when.
An appearance of huge slugs in Parkinson's cauldron by a deflection of Hermione's led to an orgy of squeals, which in turn at least got Pansy a reproachful look from Snape, who had walked over and cleared them away without a word.
Harry fumed. Had that happened to a Gryffindor, it would have been a detention at least, or even points off their house.
When the Professor walked the room, he always passed by their table without comment, which meant that they were doing fine. He came down instead on Seamus, Dean and Neville who had, from what he'd seen, been left in relative peace at their table otherwise.
All of this was weird.
Harry could not remember detecting a pattern to these things before, but he did recall his recent suspicion that Snape did teach the Slytherins things he should not, and encouraged them to test them during his lessons. That the Potions master did not prevent them from wreaking mischief, as long as it hit Gryffindor, was obvious.
For them, it was Defence against the Dark Arts, and for the Slytherins, Dark Arts... That did make sense, or did it?
How was he to ever trust that man, no matter what Dumbledore told him?
So far, things were going fairly well. Hermione, while concentrating on the recipe and organising the brewing, had deflected anything that came along quietly, with an expression that Harry knew to be impatience, but which as well expressed an extent of boredom with the attacks, and their unimaginative attitude, that must drive Malfoy and his friends to distraction... It surely would do that to him, were he the attacker, Harry thought.
Trying to make the Gryffindors smash vials or beakers was no use; all of them had charmed theirs unbreakable long since. But the Slytherins did lack imagination...
At that moment, Harry saw the huge reddish spider crawling towards them. He tried to lift its glamour inconspicuously, or to reduce it, but failed.
If Ron saw it, he was likely to make some sound or drop things, which would surely bring Snape over to their table and down on them. The git would assume, out of sheer meanness, that they had conjured the beast up, and very possibly take points for the disturbance… If the Potions Professor had a really bad day, he would clear their cauldron, too, claiming the potion was substandard or spoiled. Then they could turn in nothing, and their collective work would not be graded...
Meanwhile, the spider had crept closer. Malfoy wore a huge sneer, and Harry imagined grinding the spider into the centre of it. He nudged Hermione who'd been absorbed in her preparations and, for once, not noticed the mischief. First, he pointed to the spider, then to Malfoy.
"Oh dear," she sighed. "It IS getting too much." In the blink of an eye she cast a spell under her breath that wiped the grin off the faces of Draco and his buddies, and another that sent the spider scuttling back – no, towards their Professor!
It reached the hem of his robe, grappled around, and started to climb.
Snape did not notice.
Hermione nudged Ron, alerting him to the thing. The redhead gasped, then grinned. The spider was now as far up as the small of Snape's back.
Hermione whispered: "I convinced it it would find a mate up there..."
They gaped at her in disbelief. Then, Harry giggled, Ron guffawed, and when this attracted the Potions master's attention, they both bowed over the cauldron pretending to cough because of its fumes, fighting hard to keep their composure. That was a fitting mate for the git! Harry almost was into fits, but he somehow managed to keep quiet at least.
When Snape approached silently to stare at them, Ron became uncomfortable, and Harry was distracted by the thought that his best friend was far more scared of spiders than even of Snape. The spider was nowhere to be seen at the moment, due to its being on Snape's back, but the Slytherins had noticed, and started to make noises to alert their head of house, and he turned around.
"They can't re-charm the beast," whispered Hermione, "for fear they might hit Snape!"
Harry snorted. Now wasn't she ingenious!
By the time the Professor had started to stride over to the Slytherin tables to ask what all this was about, the spider was safely perched on his shoulder, grappling the greasy hair with its first two legs, appearing to be unable to get a hold there to continue its journey up to the dome of the Potions master's head.
This looked as if it was trying to comb his hair.
Half the class was in fits now, even several of the Slytherins, and the Gryffindors were almost rolling on the ground shaking, while from Lavender's and Parvati's table came retching noises, mingled with helpless laughter.
The spider was, if one counted the legs, about as big as Snape's head, and Ron was not even grinning anymore.
Neville merely gaped, and started to say: "Profe..."
A hand over his mouth squashed the attempt to warn to a gurgle, but luckily, Neville did not fight too hard. When Seamus released him, Harry could hear whispers of fierce arguing from their table.
Neville had become much more self-confident lately, and it was very much in character with him to not accept any such jokes, but warn the person they were played upon regardless of who they were, or how often that led to his being accused as the culprit himself. He was decided and persistent in that matter. Neville had a very strong sense of justice, having had too many degrading pranks played on himself to let others suffer the same.
Snape now knew that not all was in order.
Hermione pressed their friends to work on, and not to pay too much attention to the scenario; she was sure that Snape would turn on them within the minute, and they should be finished by then. Both boys saw the sense in that, and worked frantically, behind the turned, bespidered back of the Potions master.
With a sigh of relief, Harry turned off the fire, cast a cooling charm on their potion which of course, Hermione being chef d'oevre, looked perfect. They began bottling it just as Snape turned around again, stalking toward them. They'd have a sample now at least, even if their teacher cleared out their cauldron.
Ron backed up as far as he could at the Professor's approach to their table. Snape eyed him sternly, not saying a thing. The spider's front legs were waving over his head which looked really weird. It was now moving more to the front, on Snape's left shoulder.
Didn't he feel the weight of that thing? It was so big, it must be heavy!
Ron made a retching sound that he barely managed to hide behind his hand, and stared at his Potions Professor in horror. Snape noticed, and now approached the boy.
The Slytherins started to jeer, and Snape turned around for a moment, giving Ron a full view of the spider...
Ron could not back up further, being impeded by a large stone column, and almost slid down to the floor. He made himself very small in an attempt to get as far away from the beast as possible.
When Snape turned back, threatening to get closer still to say something sure to be intimidating, Ron said, pointing and stammering: "There- there's a ... a... On your shoulder, sir..."
Just that very moment, one of the spider's legs brushed Snape's cheek, and he felt it.
The Potions master turned his head carefully. On facing the Spider close-up, a look of disgust swept across his face. He pulled he animal off his robe, holding it by a leg, and it curled around his hand, trying to wrangle free.
Its body was almost as big as the teacher's palm.
Ron retched again, gaping at Snape in horror who, noticing his revulsion, waved the beast at him.
"And here I was thinking you were learning to show me proper respect..." the Professor murmured under his breath.
"Who did that, Weasley? Did you?" he said, more loudly.
Ron shook his head in terror, his eyes on the spider all the time; and merely pointed in the direction of the Slytherin tables. For once, Snape did not question the information, but turned and strode over, the spider dangling from his hand, squirming to get free.
"What is this? Who did that?"
The Slytherins had fallen utterly silent, most of them looking very guilty.
Harry and Hermione looked at each other, and when Ron had recovered enough to join them, Harry murmured to him: "Will that be a first and we'll see a detention over there and points taken from them by their own head of house?"
He gave Malfoy a wide grin who'd been watching them with half an eye, and the blond boy was distracted for a moment, scowling. Which for once was just the instant Snape chose to speak to him.
The Professor repeated the question.
"A- a spider, sir."
Snape's eyes narrowed.
"Is it, indeed, Mr. Malfoy. Would you kindly inform me as to the meaning of this?" he said in his most silken voice, and waved the spider in front of Draco's face, who visibly shrunk back.
"What is this thing doing on my back?"
Draco pointed at Blaise Zabini.
"He did it, it was supposed to scare Weasley..."
"Aha. And, Zabini, WHAT is it?"
Zabini glared at Malfoy and said: "It's just an engorged garden spider. And I did only provide it. Am I supposed to spill who charmed it?"
Snape merely nodded.
"Malfoy did, of course, and Parkinson."
"Ah. Well, and what is the thing doing on my shoulder if it was aimed at Weasley?"
Pansy spoke up.
"We... we don't know, sir. They must have noticed, and somehow..."
"You are a bunch of failures!" Snape hissed, obviously very angry. "I expect you – Malfoy, Zabini, Parkinson –, at my office, at eight tonight, and we will see what we can do about your... lack of aim."
The three nodded, unhappily.
Hermione and Harry grinned, but Ron said: "No points off Slytherin house at all! And what a nasty trick!"
"Hey, they got a detention or something," said Harry, "and that is a first! Have you ever heard of such a thing before?"
"No…" Ron kept quiet now, but he was fuming.
After that, Snape took the spider in his left had, pointed his wand at it, and murmured something. It shrunk to the size of a small red garden spider.
He let it go, and said: "Clear up. Turn in your potions now. For homework, the usual: describe the process, the properties it was supposed to have, where you failed and why, and elaborate on the properties of the ingredients, and their other uses. Three feet, no less. Do hurry up now, please."
Ron groaned.
"When it was bigger, one could at least see it easily!"
"Do you really think it's the only spider here? I'd be much more curious to know what Snape uncharmed it with. I could not do it, and I tried several things," Hermione said. "Finite did not work!"
"I wonder if it is still after him?" asked Harry.
The three had to giggle all the way to lunch in the Great Hall over that one.
Harry felt, though, that today would not be a very good day to approach Snape about Occlumency again like he had intended to.
In the evening, the Headmaster sent a message telling him to come to his office after dinner.