6. The Pensieve
In the evening, Harry and the old wizard met again in the Headmaster office. Harry had a letter with him that he wanted to show to Dumbledore. It was from Fred and George whom he'd been writing to. What had started out as a joke had become a regular and frequent contact, and was enjoyed greatly by both sides. Harry had ended up trying to convince them to return to school, now that Umbridge was gone. There would be no trouble in re-establishing them at Hogwarts. The letters were still good for many laughs, but the Weasley twins were becoming increasingly exasperated by Harry's attempts to make them come back to Hogwarts only to take exams.
It was true that Harry wanted them back. He lacked the fun they had been. Hermione had supported his course greatly, but he was not sure that he, all by himself, would have written to them the way he had. Ron had been sufficiently outspoken about the attempts, but Harry was sure the he, too, wanted his brothers back. They'd been very supportive in his Quidditch practice after all, during summer.
Fred and George and their jokes could be taxing but nothing ever was boring around them, and a lot of fun to be had if one managed to stay out of the main line of fire. Harry always got the best out of it anyway, due to his gift to them after the Triwizard Tournament.
In their evenings together, Harry had eventually told Dumbledore a lot about himself, and this correspondence had been among the topics. He wondered if the old man had pushed or pointed him in the direction the main theme of the letters had taken, but could not make it out. It didn't matter too much either, Harry thought, because for once he was of one mind with the Headmaster.
In any case, the Weasley twins were always a good subject of talk, helping Harry to stave off the true purpose of his evening meetings with the Headmaster.
Tea and scones were on the table, regardless of it being past dinner time.
"So, how are things going with the Weasley twins? Will they come back?"
"I'm afraid not, sir, but please do read for yourself."
Harry proffered the letter.
The Headmaster read and, despite his disappointment, he had to smile every now and then.
Fred and George had not budged an inch. Far from taking offence at Harry's attempts at forcing them, understanding his approach all too well themselves, and probably feeling flattered by the honest effort, they had merely offered, or rather, threatened, to pay him back his 1000 Galleons if they heard another word of it. No way they would return to Hogwarts to take their N.E.W.T.s, or for any other reason, except to wreak havoc! Their mum would reconcile eventually, as soon as she was reassured that they were not wasting their lives, as soon as she could be sure of success – viewed from that point, attempting to obtain grades and things would be a huge waste of time.
Apparently, though, they were becoming impatient with Harry's persistence. They promised Harry in an elaborate manner to hex and jinx him most painfully if he wouldn't refrain from his attempts to convince them, and said that they preferred the previous boring correspondence. He was sure they would.
"Well, then, Harry, I think you really have done your best – if resorting to blackmail can be called good" – the old man's eyes twinkled – "and I guess we have to leave it at that."
"I might try some more, just to see how far they'll go, sir."
The Headmaster smiled.
"They are your friends, Harry. You'll do the right thing."
The time for banter was over. They sat in silence and listened to the sounds of the office for some time. Fawkes was distinctly snoring, as usual.
Harry decided that he just had to know and would ask today, even if it got him closer to Occlumency lessons with Snape.
"Professor Dumbledore, the last time, the last thing we talked about were my parents…"
"Yes, Harry?"
"You said I might ask you whatever I wanted once I…"
"Yes, Harry, I did."
Harry had been pondering the subject from many points of view and found that he could not help it, nor put the question in words less gross. This was what he felt, after what he'd seen in the Pensieve. If he was true and honest with himself, he had to admit that the feelings his illicit viewing of Snape's memories had evoked in him hurt almost as much as Sirius' death. He felt that he had lost his father again by the confusion and contempt. Harry desperately wanted to get rid of that pain, and feared his new-found introspective and self-acknowledgement to be short-lived. As it wasn't very uplifting, he'd probably not miss it that much, but wanted to make use of it while it lasted.
"Was my dad really... Was he the school bully, he and Sirius? I feel he must have been a real arsehole!"
He'd just had to say it, bluntly!
Albus Dumbledore was taken aback.
"Harry, my dear boy – of course not! He was nothing of the sort at all, but a loyal friend, a great wizard and fighter, and a great person to have around! Now how did you get that impression?"
"Well." Harry hung his head.
"Well?"
"I – I saw him torturing Snape in the Pensieve you gave him for my Occlumency lessons, last year..."
"PROFESSOR Snape he is, Harry! Now did you, indeed? So THAT was what Severus wouldn't tell me when he flatly refused to resume your lessons, without giving any reason at all…"
Dumbledore stroked his long beard, musing for some moments, appearing to be not at all happy with this turn of events. What else was there that those young fireballs would not talk about to him?
He would simply have to start at the beginning.
"First of all, let me state that that Pensieve is not mine but Severus's; a most precious and ancient heirloom of his family. He leaves it to my use at my request and I am to keep it for him – with his memories, should need arise. That in itself would be a sufficient statement of trust on his side, and a token of his turning by the by since, with this, I am the bearer of the living history of the House of Soniverirus for thousands of years back. I did not mean to tell you, it being of no import in the matters at hand, but while the issue comes up…
"You can't possibly have any idea of the value of this thing, Harry, even by such grand words – let me tell you it is unique, and much-coveted. The only way to keep it out of the hands of certain Ministers and self-proclaimed lords and, by that, some of their friends, aside from destroying it, is to have them believe that it is mine – if they have to know of its existence at all.
"Neither does Lord Voldemort know about its true ownership, I am sure – he would have found means to force Severus to hand it over to him. Actually, it is the heirloom of a close relative of Severus's. He gave away rather offhandedly what was not his; but since the person, for the time being, has no use for it, I might as well keep it. What is more, it served his purpose just as well. He is the last of his House besides, and both will agree that the Soniverirus Pensieve is well-protected and safe if it is with me.
"That is one reason why I can't just tell everyone I absolutely trust Professor Snape, Harry. Such things are never easy… To trust, yet not to trust… If the Ministry of Magic knew it was his they'd confiscate and hold it as they do right now most of the Snape estates and Severus's rightful heritage, on mere suspicion and arbitrariness, without proof. There is greed there, too, of course. They profit from what they have a hold over.
"The Potions master has not Malfoy's grand hand with officials... However, there's too much in there that can't be taken out anymore and must never become known to the wrong people.
"You see, too, why none of this must ever leave this office, and if you are not sure of yourself, you may put your memories of today's session in here, and I will seal them. They will not be lost or forgotten to you, you just will not be able to transfer them, be it in voice or writing, by free will or coercion, Legilmency, Veritaserum, or magic, or otherwise. You can take them back at any time, assisted by either me or the Professor. He has agreed to such a procedure should the need arise. This offer is a great honour as, I am sure, you will understand."
Harry nodded mutely. This was becoming a bit too much already.
He realized that if he did put his memories into the Pensieve, it would mean that not only Dumbledore, but Snape as well could rifle through his thoughts, and vowed to himself not to do it unless forced to.
And how had he come to think that the white-haired wizard before him had grown weary, old and tired? He distinctly remembered feeling pity for him, the last time they'd met… Now, though, the Headmaster's manner of speech was almost frightening in its intensity, and the pale blue eyes blazed.
Albus Dumbledore's voice softened a bit. He had noticed that he was frightening Harry.
"So, Professor Snape gave this precious thing to me, together with the memories not only of his House, reaching back for millennia, but of his own deeds and misdeeds – so I could protect and control them, in case the Death Eaters would ever entirely mistrust him and put him to Veritaserum, or worse. What is in here, cannot come out there. Thoughts in it are not unreachable to the thinker, even at a great distance, but no memory put in it can be forced out of your head by any means known unless you take it back yourself – as one of those silver strands, see? Neither can their existence be detected or verified.
"A Pensieve can also be used to show what is too painful to tell which is what we, sadly, use it most for nowadays. It is easier for Severus to report about Death Eater meetings that way. How to see memories in it that don't belong to you, you do already know."
Harry blushed a bit.
"But that is only possible if you have the thing itself, not from any distance, again, and you, Harry, know not how to steer what you see..."
Was the old wizard mocking him now? It was possible to navigate in it?
The old wizard picked up on his thoughts.
"Navigating the seas of time, of memory, is a high Art that is usually restricted to the youngest female member of the House of the owner, the House of Snape in this case. I cannot fully do it myself.
"A most useful thing, a Pensieve is, and I would covet it, was it not in my hands already... It is the only one now left of its kind, and no known wizard alive, including your Potions Professor, Tom Riddle, or myself, could make another like it. It was wrought by Giants once, and I do doubt that any of those still alive could create one today. It is really a very precious thing, Harry.
"There are hints that Pensieves might once have been used to send any kind of visualisation to other users of a similar device. I am not entirely sure if there's anyone alive who knows how to, or what is needed for such use of it. It would be helpful indeed... Maybe we'd need another of its kind. As there appears to be none other left, the thought is rather pointless, and no way to find out. Someone like Idane might have known more... Hagrid does not, for sure."
"But then, Snape could..."
Harry did not have to finish that sentence.
"Yes, precisely. And I would read his, while it is with me, should I wish to do so, or your thoughts, should you decide to put them in there. You might wish to consider using it nevertheless. It IS a relief, Harry…
"So, I don't know how much you saw of that memory of what James Potter did to Severus Snape – but believe me, the latter was not altogether an angel either in his time as a student here, and his insistence about adhering to the rules nowadays is, in part, well-founded on the knowledge of how to break them – and the possible effects of such actions...
"Sticking to the rules is not a typical Slytherin trait... For instance, Severus Snape is partial: students of his own house have quite some headroom with him, and don't have to conform to the rules like all others, as you well know."
"Erm- Professor Dumbledore, another question?"
"Go ahead, Harry."
"Why is he allowed to do that? Be unjust and protect his house? Why don't you stop things like that? A teacher should be just – or try to be! You didn't interfere with that Umbridge woman, either, and she even used to torture students!"
At the mentioning of Umbridge's name, Dumbledore leaned back in his seat.
"There is a variety of reasons to that, Harry, some of which will become obvious to you eventually, I am sure; but with Umbridge, I honestly did not know what was going on, and still feel I have to apologise, to all of you. As you do know, I was at the time relieved of most of my positions, and had no voice with the Ministry of Magic, or the Wizengamot. I had to keep a low profile, but had I known what that woman was up to... It would have been a handle against them!
"That torture should never have been allowed to go as far as it did! That's part of what made me realise that I would have to talk to you.
"You should have told me, see? You, of all people… Young Granger should have...
Harry gritted his teeth. Why did the old man still managed to make him feel that it was his fault that they had not talked face to face all year long?
"She didn't know!"
"Oh, did she not? Just to let you know: we do have a whole bundle of parental complaints about Umbridge's 'detentions' of 'writing lines' by now. Were things not what they are, and the woman still in office, this would feature big in the Daily Prophet, and an inquiry by the Board be unavoidable, trust me, but the Ministry is burying the whole affair."
And had Hermione known? Harry wondered. Why had she kept quiet if she had? It was unlike her... She must have known about it at some point implicitly, even if he himself had not talked about it. Many others had suffered the same punishment…
With a sigh, Harry remembered the oppressive, crouched atmosphere of most of last year. And that was over! For good, he hoped…
After a while, the Headmaster spoke again.
"So, Snape does believe today that rules are necessary and to be obeyed – mostly, that is, but he did not always think so. This belief seems to be another result of the cruel story that I am going to tell you, by his reluctant consent.
"Let us get back to what you saw in the Pensieve in Professor Snape's office.
"As you know, there was a war on between Snape and Potter, pretty much from the very first time they met. James Potter was the better wizard of the two. Harry, you are as strong as your father was in your age, if not stronger...
"It was not for lack of trying that Snape never really injured him nor did him harm.
"Severus Snape was an awkward youth, as you must have gathered from what you saw, and had no close friends, not even among the other children from the ancient pure-bred families which then too were mostly sorted into Slytherin house. He knew his Dark spells already. Most of Sirius's relatives, the Sorting Hat put in Slytherin too, by the way. Like you, Sirius chose not to be there, with them.
"Severus Snape was, and is still, something of a loner. I believe Lucius Malfoy was the closest thing to a friend he ever had. That only changed while he was with – her, with part-giant, part-Muggle Idane.
"Your father tried to get at Severus Snape whenever he could, and I believe James's flirt with Idane to have been along those lines rather than real love interest. Events seem to consolidate this thesis.
"But what Snape could never forgive was that he owed your father his life. He was indebted to his worst enemy. He hated that then and still hates it now. He feels obliged to protect you, but that is not what drives him on – you will agree that he has paid back that debt manifold…"
Dumbledore seemed to expect Harry's assent, but Harry did not feel very generous toward his Professor at the moment. He would not admit that the Headmaster had a point there.
"Snape might have changed during his apprenticeship. I would not know because I completely lost track of him after he took his N.E.W.T.s and left Hogwarts, as is quite common with most students. In his year teaching here, he was more awkward and withdrawn still than I remembered, and I left him alone. What I told you about his problems with his students, I found out by other staff or inference, there's not one thing he approached me with during this time. I can't imagine that he was an effective spy for Voldemort then at all.
"Severus Snape surely had changed greatly when I later met him 'managing' Idane. Whatever the reason, Idane G. did choose Snape. After that was obvious, it became clear that there had never been a doubt to it, right from the very first moment they'd met.
"This brings us back to our story, too.
"I do believe the turning point of the relation between your father and Severus Snape to have been a fight – I do not know that for sure, mark, as most of the relevant events took place after their leaving Hogwarts – remember I mentioned something like that?"
Harry nodded.
"Apparently, your father tried to pick a fight with Severus over Idane, at one point – and she did set James right, with Lily's help, I think. She knew them all quite well by then, being one of the very few Muggles without any magical connections, besides their King and Queen, who ever got invited and accepted into the homes of old wizard families for ages... This is not counting, of course, the occasional family members of Muggle-born wizards.
"That was, obviously, because of her Art - these wonderful shows and events that, as it seems, Muggles call "installations" or "performances", which had the best of both worlds, and more. But it was also because of what she was, her personality, too. She was like a memory of better and stronger ages or a hope for a brighter future – there's more need for a reminder or taste of that in times like ours, I think. Idane was really not 'just' a Muggle.
"Anyway, that fight – if there really was one, that is –, was, in my opinion, also the point after which James Potter finally turned out to be the truly decent chap he had always promised to be, and came off his arrogant and sometimes, indeed, rather nasty ways. I do not know what she told him or what the two girls did to him that finally worked, but work it did..."
"So you do say that until then, my father was an…"
"No, Harry, not at all!"
The Headmaster sounded decided and a bit impatient.
"James Potter was young, strong, and lively – it is the best, often, that need to sow their wild oats like that. Be that as it may, James Potter and Lily Evans got married in the end.
"It might have been mainly Idane, making James see what Lily really meant to him. She liked Lily and James a lot – and believe me, if she liked something or cared about someone, she used and abused her Giant's gift of the Insight and told them who they really were and to what end – I have seen grown men cry because of what she told them about themselves. Her choice of people she considered worthy of that treatment never ceased to amaze me. I think she might have been your godmother had she lived.
"For all her peaceful radiance, she was not without weapons. It didn't happen too often, but you should have seen her angry – that was like a storm from the mountains, completely unstoppable, and much like an ancient goddess of thunder! If she got down to it, she was far sharper than Snape in his worst mood, if you can imagine that..."
Impossible! "No, not really..."
"Well, just take my word for it, then. She had her moods, too - occasionally everyone got in her way. But when she was good she was so gorgeous that everyone would forgive her anything. Particularly as she had the gift of healing the wounds she struck – and not only those –, by her word alone. Yet, occasionally she was not generous there. There are people the wiser for her nastiness – and her apologies, too. I think she knew very well who would need her harshness, and who could not bear it long. I do think she let your father have some of that medicine, or his own, rather. I have, summing that up, never seen her use her Gift in an unjustified manner.
"Altogether, she was a woman like a star – going her own way steadily, distantly, to be adored, honoured and also, feared. And one man alone, matching her like a dark sun would that day star up there, did neither of that but loved her dearly, as I am sure, and she loved him back. He hardly survived her death. Something in him broke then, and he came to me to obtain revenge.
"In Idane was much of the light that the old giants must have had in them, in the ancient days, when the most beautiful and generous families of theirs were the rulers of the North – yes, of all our and the Muggles' lands... They were just and brave and strong, but were killed by eviller and stupider giants that came from the East, and in the passing of time, nearly all of them became brutal and greedy and stupid... Today, they are a matter of children's stories, a bedtime horror, despised and feared, if often believed extinct – not untruthfully, as most of those left are much like moving stones, hardly wiser than Trolls, often and easily confused with them... But not all of them are like that always, hear you, and those very few might be our only resort in the darker days to come...
"So, Severus Snape loved a giants' offspring, a mixed blood, of all beings – imagine what the other Death Eaters must have said to him, but he didn't care... He probably didn't get too much hassle though because, as it seems, the other Death Eaters nor Lord Voldemort himself did believe true love between them to be an option at any point – nor do they, as far as I know, now. Voldemort might, at some point, have reckoned this connection of his follower to be an asset, considering his attempts at bringing other magical races to his side, but what I know of either Snape's or Idane's history does shows no trace of such strategical reasoning.
"Idane would have been a pretty powerful witch, as well, more so for someone trained late in life, I am sure: I could see she had it in her, and offered to train her personally, but she wasn't interested, and declined. She's one of those who were missed by the Ministry of Magic when they scan all the children for the Gift. Not that magical knowledge would have done her much good, in the end... Said she'd been without it for so long, and that Severus would do the things needing to be done by magic, and surely much better than her, too.
"Yet, their work did bring about a need for using some Occlumency and Legilmency, as they often had to work hand over hand in order to achieve some of the more complicated effects they had worked out. And, of course, for that they had to shut off to influences from outside.
"If you do open your mind to someone close by to be read but have no eye contact to, and there are a lot of folk about, whether Muggle or witch, there will be a background noise of thoughts and mental images that can drown out the necessary communication entirely, particularly if people are exited, which of course they would be at events like those the two set up."
Dumbledore smiled.
"I am sure Fred and George Weasley will want to know about these things rather sooner...
"Idane was a natural in every – 'passive', you might call it –, Art, such as the Mencies, Prognosis etc., everything to have to do with the intake of the senses – mainly of sound, sight and smell, so that came to her easy enough. She was not a Seer, though.
"However, to willingly put mental pressure on someone at a distance is not a gift bestowed on witches and wizards. Even Voldemort has to use those black marks of his on the arms of his close followers to summon them to him. Only with you, Harry, that is different, and there can only be one reason for it, which you already know. Or, rather, two now, what with his resurrection, but the second would not have come to pass without the first..."
Harry shuddered a bit, and Dumbledore refilled his tea cup and urged him to drink.
"There was also a need for rescue and healing charms occasionally, in case of accidents. So, she got pretty good at these disciplines, as did Snape, and that did something for us, not her though, in the end...
"To see them at work was an experience in itself, and one not easily to be had, as, of course, the event of a semi-magical fireworks environment (for lack of a better word) is not one in which one should wish to see the wheels turn... most people wouldn't want to, that is. These two were like one mind in two bodies, really.
"You know, Severus became an excellent cook during his work with her. Cooking's not so very far from potion-making, after all... But, oddly enough, he always did it the Muggle way, by hand, swore that way it would taste like nothing else in the world. He did most of the catering for her events at some point, always in association with Muggle cooks, but with some special ingredients – I understand that these festivities are still a subject of talk in the Muggle world, as well.
Dumbledore slipped into silence again. After a few moments, he resumed:
"I don't think that anyone beside myself was really aware of the depth of her Insight and the kind and extent of her Prescience. That Gift of Prognosis of hers – one could consider it to be some type of Weather Magic, a very old and forgotten type of magical knowledge. Imagine a rather precise forecast of what could be called 'emotional' or 'wizarding' weather, I guess, if you can. Never any details, names or places, but a most precise general view, or map, of the moods of a certain day, the areas those moods pertained to, left-out corners, of the spells that might work better or not at all... Of areas sheltered against magic or used by, say, Dark wizards... It was amazing and even brought us closer to Lord Voldemort's hideout. Even Unplottable places were not entirely Unplottable to her, by this Gift. She could assign a closer range to such a spot than anyone else I ever heard of. The Death Eater's very own presence at her shows did that for us.
"The kind of forecast of the wizarding weather we have today was, I believe, built on the experiences some Ministry members had with her. But so far no-one has been found to score worth mentioning, if only once or twice a month, with just one of the several issues she covered simultaneously and effortlessly. She hardly ever failed. I believe it might take a good shot of Giant's blood to do it, and maybe from the male side... Hagrid, for instance, surely doesn't have that Gift, to his disadvantage – I do rather wish he did, sometimes.
"Another thing she could do was the following: if you gave her something someone had merely touched, she would be able to tell what kind of person that was, and what they were up to... No names or personal descriptions, but most precise accounts of their emotional economy, and predictions of likely behaviour...
"I understand that Muggle show magicians like to do something similar: they take something a person hands them, and tell them what they had for dinner, or that they should beware of tall dark strangers... Would you know if that is true, Harry?"
"No... But I think I saw something like that on TV – Muggle television… once, when the Dursleys were away. I think they said that there are agents in the audience they take the things from... I've never seen it done, either way, sir."
"Hmmm... a pity."
The old wizard fell silent, leaving Harry to his own thoughts for a while. After that pause, Dumbledore asked: "Harry - was there nothing about what you saw in the Pensieve in your Occlumency lesson that struck you as odd?"
"No, why would that be?"
"Think, Harry, come on!"
"No, really, sir, it seemed much like a movie" – Dumbledore raised his brow – "like some ordinary account of – oh, I see!"
His vague thought from some days before suddenly came back.
"Professor, what one sees in the Pensieve must not necessarily be what really did happen, must it? It could be what the person who put it in there thought they'd seen, right?"
Dumbledore looked at him admiringly.
"That is very much so, Harry, and well observed – closer, yes, but still not the point I was getting at. What I meant was this: how was it that you did see the boy Snape whirling through the air and all that? I do know that memory, you see. Professor Snape could have known himself that it would, for you, make his point about your father far more sharply than any of his sneering derision ever could and..."
Harry was not heeding the old wizard's last sentence at all.
"Why, of course because that's what he – no – sure!" he blurted out in understanding, and, by this, interrupting his Headmaster. When I was in the courtroom below the Ministry, I never saw you whole, I WAS you, sort of! I almost took your place, and was always very close to you! I could not move around freely, detached from what you remembered, from your point of view. So this means that what I saw in the Occlumency lesson was not Snape's memory at all! But whose was it, then?"
"That, Harry, is the point precisely, and a very interesting question. So it was none of the Marauders, or the others present, either. You never saw the onlooker because you were in almost the same spot. It must have been a person who had access to the Pensieve in those days, too, someone who probably forgot to remove this particular memory, or preferred not to do so. This would alos explain why Professor Snape couldn't remove it, right?
"You did not bother to look around... What did the memory feel like? It felt like pity or some such thing, and a lot of anger and pain, right? Someone felt very much what one would expect the boy Snape to feel in that situation – rage, a kind of self-pity and so on – that's what I think makes mistaking this memory for one of Severus's own so easy…"
"But if it wasn't his memory, then why was he so angry with me? And whose memory is it, then?"
"Come, now, Harry – first of all you did trespass your Professor's privacy by using his Pensieve – Severus does believe that, when left alone in someone else's room, it is very indecent to rifle their stuff, not to mention their private memories. Professor Snape would not do that himself, he claims, and he expects others to adhere to such unwritten rules of decency and style – and, second, and still more important, you saw him being humiliated and losing face in a situation not very flattering in general. What you'd expect?"
Harry had lowered his eyes. This really was getting too much.
"Sir – may I leave? I feel very tired…"
"Yes, of course, Harry – I do believe you will reconsider in the future before you delve into someone else's private sphere without permission, won't you?
"Yes, sir… Good night, then."
"Good night, Harry."
Harry left the office at almost a run. He managed to push aside the last bit of what he and the Headmaster had talked about on his way back to the common room, but he was sure that what he had learned tonight would turn out to be important, or rather haunt him, in the future.
No-one was up anymore, at least not in the common room. After getting ready for bed very quietly and without waking anybody, Harry was asleep in no time. Next morning, not even a nagging feeling of having forgotten something important reminded him of what he was supposed to tell to Hermione.
The idea that Snape was teaching the Slytherins Dark Arts, on the other hand, kept creeping up on him more and more often. Harry was sure he would ave to talk about it eventually, and could only hope that he would not be considered mental by his friends.