Chapter Two: Trapped
Erik:(grabbing Raoul's brush) Everyone! Stop panicking like chickens with their heads cut off and listen. We are stuck in an elevator-
Raoul :( looking at hair) Stating the obvious… (Erik begins to pull out his Punjab lasso) Go on, Oh Fearless Leader!
Erik: We are stuck in an elevator. Perhaps we could call someone for help.
(Raoul pulls out a cell phone)
Raoul: A what phone?
Authoress: In your pocket, fop!
Erik: Whoohoo, Authoress!
(Raoul puts his hand in his pocket and slowly pulls out his cell phone)
Raoul: I am fascinated…(He fiddles with it and makes caveman noises)
Carlotta: Does he normally do zeez?
Christine:(looks around nervously) Is that a trick question?
(The phone begins to ring… "The Music of the Night" is the ring tone….)
Erik: Hey…That's my song! They stole my song! (He grabs the phone and answers it) Hello, you've reached The Phantom of the Opera and idiots, except Christine. How may I help you?
Nerdy Voice On Phone: Can you hear me now?
Erik:(awkwardly) Yes. How may I help you sir?
N.V.O.P: Good. Can you hear me now?
Erik:(growing irritated) Yes…How may I help?
N.V.O.P.: Can you hear me…now?
Erik:(angrily) Yes! Listen, we're stuck in an elevator. Can you help-
N.V.O.P.: Can you hear me-
Erik: SHUT UP, YOU IDIOT! I CAN HEAR YOU! I ALWAYS COULD HEAR YOU! AND NOW, WITH YOUR ANNOYING QUESTIONING, I ALWAYS WILL HEAR YOU! AHHH!
(Erik throws the phone to the ground and jumps on it, crushing all hope of emergency contact into a thousand pieces)
Christine: What do you suppose they wanted?
Carlotta: I dona want to knowa.
Raoul: Well, smart one- we've lost all contact with the outside. What do we do now?
Erik:(regaining composure) Well, um-er…Let's all take some time to calm down.
Meg: We have to calm down!...That's just-
(Erik flashes Punjab)
Meg: That sounds delightful! C'mon, let's all have a sit-down!
(Everyone sits down….there is silence…later…)
Raoul: …with the feather on the bird, and the bird in the egg, and the egg in the nest, and the nest on the twig, and the twig on the branch, and the branch on the tree, and the tree in the ground and the green grass grows all around, all around, and the green grass grows all around!(Takes a breath) There was a-
Erik: (praying) …and if you give me Advil, I promise I won't kill the fop!
Christine: (to Raoul) That's enough, sweetheart.
Raoul: But I haven't gotten to the skies…stars…the sun, moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn…uh…
Erik: Uranus.
Raoul: Hahaha! He said Ur-Anus! Hahahaha!
Erik: Poor fop, he makes me laugh-
Carlotta: Hahahahaha! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha-
Erik: I believe I asked for some Advil, Lord.
Raoul: I believe I have some…
Christine: Can I have some, too?
Carlotta: Me tooo?
Meg: Me three?
(They all take some "Advil" and it turns out to be muscle relaxers…Christine is rubbing her face, Carlotta and Meg are doing a sort of limp Macerana, and Erik and Raoul are doing a square dance, singing musical songs)
Authoress: What's going on down there! I demand an exclamation! Erik?
(Erik stares at her for a moment but then slaps his hands on his cheeks and does the whole "Home Alone" screaming thing)
Authoress….Christine? (She notices that Christine is now playing puppets with her hands) Nevermind. Uh, Carlotta?
Carlotta: Zat's Mr. Potato Head to you! (She laughs, snorting)
Authoress: Has everyone gone mad?
Erik and Raoul:
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing the song of angry men
It is the music of a people who will not be slaves again!...
Carlotta and Meg:
Hey, Macarena…uh, dododo Macerana
Macados, dudadudadudadudaduh Macarena-
Chrstine :( to others) SHHHHHHH! (They all fall silent)
It's the last Midnight….
It's the last wish… (They all laugh but are again interrupted by Christine) No wait, seriously guys, I think I hear something!
Erik: (grabbing Christine's ear and screaming into it) HI HO!
(All except Christine laugh as she stumbles for the buttons and presses the one labeled intercom)
Voice: Hello, we've been trying to reach you. Are you all okay?
Christine :(falling to the ground, covering herself) That voice which calls to me!
Raoul: Heggo?
Voice: Um, hello, sir. Are you alright?
(Raoul begins to count people as Erik pushes him out of the way)
Erik: Let me handle this. (speaks into intercom) Yes, I want a Whopper, French fries, and a large Diet Coke!
Voice: Oh, you kids! Always messing with the buttons!
(Silence)
Carlotta: What is a Whoppa?
A/N-Hope you liked it! Vote for more. By the way, I used "Dou You Hear the People Sing?" from Les Miserables and "The Last Midnight" from Into the Woods. And "The Macarena" from crazy people out to annoy the world. If you have some ideas for the next chapter, do tell. REVIEW!