Well here's the final chapter... I think it's the final chapter anyway!... Whatever - Just read ok?

Explanations & Explosions

"How are you all feeling? Wait, let me guess – Confused and Insane?" The banana asked evilly.

"Just a tad." Rimmer speculated.

"Hang on – Are you REALLY a banana?"

"Well I have been for the past few hundred years – my morphing mechanism got jammed ya know, Anyway enough of the chit chat, I need to tell you what's going on then suck your souls out!"

"Lovely."

"I know! Utterly delightful."

"I have just one teeny tiny question? If you have been making us insane, why are you about to reveal your master plan to us like a James Bond villain?"

"Because then I can watch you go mad all over again as you watch me kill each of you one by one – You cannot move with me controlling part of your minds."

"Think you're clever do you? You… Banana you!" Rimmer scoffed though he was really terrified.

"Yes actually! Now to business – I am a morphing GELF, I am an evolved strain of the original "Polymorph" Species, I however do not suck emotions – I bring people to the point of insanity then take their souls. I have mind altering capabilities and am more powerful then you could ever imagine. Any questions?"

"Yeah – What's a Polymorph?" Lister asked.

"And a GELF?" Rimmer piped up.

"And more importantly why are you a Giant Banana?" Cat added.

"Oh my colony had been playing name that fruit."

"Well that makes sense!" Rimmer muttered.

"Enough!" The banana commanded as a high shriek filled the room, causing the Dwarfer's to collapse to the floor in agony as terrifying images came to their minds, torturing their souls.

"Hey Bob – Go get your toy gun – We could get that elusive note by shooting the ball bearings." Holly suggested as Madge hit her head against a frying pan, causing an ugly twang to sound round the room.

Bob squeaked in response and set off. He got to his locker and retrieved his gun, but was distracted by a noise coming from Lister's quarters. The curious skutter wheeled over to the doorway to find The remains of the crew, collapsed on the floor in spasms, A giant banana stood over them. Bob cocked his mechanical head on one side and fired his gun several times, the ball bearings puncturing the material of the banana.

"You have GOT to be kidding me!" The GELF cried as he exploded into a pile of yellow plastic and weird gunk.

Feeling satisfied with his good deed of the day Bob rolled off back to the kitchen.

"God my heads banging!2 Lister said as he sat up and looked round at his two crew mates.

"Yeah – I had a really weird dream – That we'd swapped bodies!" Rimmer as he rubbed the "H" on his head.

"So did I – that's the last time we watch those crappy "Invasion Of The Body Snatchers" films when drunk.

"Agreed."

"Gawd what is this gunk? OH GAWD! There's some on my clothes!" Cat screamed in horror.

"Lister – Isn't that the remains of that novelty Banana that hung near you're bunk?"

"Yeah – I wonder what happened to it."

"Looks like you filled it with curry and played Piñata." Rimmer speculated lazily. In response Lister dipped his finger into the gunk and tasted it.

"Like no curry I've ever had before." Lister replied.

"What do you know? You only have one taste bud left!" Rimmer scoffed as Cat ran out of the room in the direction of the Laundry.

"And? Oh it'll be fine with some poppadoms and a can or 3."