For Clayphan16- Fop- a man affectedly fastidious in dress or deportment; a dandy….That was actually from the dictionary. Hmmm….
To all reviewers- (blushes) Oh, you guys! Truly, I love you all! I saw theOscars last night as you will see inthis chapter. And POTO was only up for, like, two? And Million Dollar baby won EVERYTHING? And was that Gerard Butler with Beyonce while she sang LearnTo Be Lonely? Sorry, I was going beserk.On with the show!
Chapter Five: The Oscars(yes, the naked gold statue awards!)
(Erik is banging his head on the wall, while the rest watch, Raoul looks for popcorn)
Raoul: Where the? (Raoul snatches popcorn from Baffled Seraph) Gimmie that back!
Meg: (to Erik) Are you okay?
Erik: What (bang) does (bang) it (bang) look (bang) like? (bang)
Raoul: Maybe he'll die and we can eat him like those soccer players in the plane crash in the snowy mountains!
Carlotta: Datz not funny.
Christine: Yes Raoul, this is serious. Erik is slowly beginning to lose his sanity and (looks around) He's our only hope.
Raoul: Beginning!
Carlotta: (points to floor) Whatz zat?
(All look to floor, Meg screams)
Erik: Don't tell me (bang) it's a rat.
Christine: No! It's a magazine!
Erik: (turns around) Wha? Where did that come from?
Authoress: Hiya!
(Erik gulps and crosses himself)
Meg: It's….US. US? What's that? And who is US?
Erik: The name of the magazine, child.
Raoul: No! US stands for…Underpaid Stupid…heads…?
Carlotta: (reading title) What'z an Ozcar? Ozcar Gold?
(Erik snatches magazine from him and they all peer over his shoulder at the pictures)
Meg: Who's the naked, gold statue? That's an Oscar? God, it's just a stupid gold plated piece of plastic.
Christine: Moving on, now…Johnny Depp? Gosh, he's-
Raoul: He's dreamy!
Christine: You're still married to me honey…
Erik: Get this- they've cut down the show by getting the nominees already onstage. Great. Now we can watch their dreams shrivel up and die before our eyes as they clap half heartedly. Honestly, they should just have trapdoors under the nominees and whoever doesn't win should be dropped…
Meg: And they're just giving out Oscars in the isle ways…
Raoul: (as if he were selling food at a baseball game) Get yer Oscars! Oscars here! Get 'um while they last!
(An image of Cate Blanchett flashes as she raises a finger. "I'll take one Best Supporting
Actress!")
Carlotta: Who performed ze songs?
Erik: Erm…Beyonce? Hey, there's a picture. (Reads caption) 'Beyonce shines as she performs Learn To Be Lonely, nominated for Best Original Song from the motion picture, 'Phantom of the WHAT!' PHANTOM OF THE OPERA! But, how did they…
Christine: How did they know? Who told them about this!
British Voice: Hello, characters of my award winning Broadway show!
Meg: Who said that!
B. V.: Why, me of course!
(A short man enters the elevator in a flying seat)
Raoul: Um, Mister. Who are you?
British man: Why, I'm Andrew Lloyd Webber! Your musical creator!
(All stare at him blankly)
A.L.W.: Y'see, I decided that I wanted to make a musical out of the famous book, so I gathered up me musical mates and we wrote the musical. Sure, we changed the Operas and cut out some scenes and changed the ending but tell that to the people at the Tonys!
(Checks his watch) My goddness, I'm late for a meeting with Joel Shumacher on our amazing, but not so great with the critics film. Well, cheerio! (he exits)
Raoul: So…he was our creator?
Erik: Pretty much…
Raoul: so, he was like…our God?
(Erik looks at Raoul and hits him over the back of the head)
Raoul: Owie…
A/N- I think it's kinda getting boring, so I'm holding a vote for the next chapter. It shall
be either…
Grantaire from Les Mis drops in and gets them all drunk and they party hardy.
The Crocodile Hunter makes a failed attempt to save them, gets trapped with them, and keeps calling Erik a "Little Beauty."
They find a way out.
You can automatically eliminate one of those answers…R&R!
P.S- I know I'm nagging you all, but…Check out my other fanfic, The Angel In Hell! You all rock!