A/N- Yes, so I just found out a guy who I love went to my friend's birthday party and I was supposed to go but I had All-State chorus and now I am in a deep state of depression so this might get sad- wait, why do you care?
Audience: (shrugs)
Ah, well, I have assigned Raoul to hit me over the head with the Phantom of the Opera DVD if I get too sad.
Raoul: I'm on it! (Looks at DVD case) Hey, I'm hot!
By the way, I was watching an episode of Punk'd when I thought I'd say it was the last chapter so…yeah (Ashton Kutcher runs out with a camera) please…go away….
K: Sigh
….On with the show!
Chapter Nine: Into the… Whah?
(Everyone is looking around, confused)
Erik: I thought you said we'd be out by now! I'm missing The OC!...Did I just say that out loud?
Authoress: And I missed Magic Hair (the guy I love)… (Seeing Raoul) No. No, I'm fine…Anyways; you all are in 'Into the Woods.' You will now be visiting musicals from now on and until I run out of musicals, you are stuck in my story forever! (Scary organ music plays) Muah ha ha! (Puts pinkie to side of mouth)
(Suddenly, there is a huge crunch and the group looks around some trees to see some random people and a young woman with a cape on looking very sad)
Young woman:
(Singing)
No matter what you say…children won't listen
No matter what you know, children refuse to learn-
Raoul: Hello there! Yes, you…the singing one! Yes! What's going on?
Young Woman: Do you mind? I'm having a moment here? My 'daughter' just got crushed by a giant!
Raoul: (thrusting his arms in the air) Ahhhh! I wanna go home! (Starts to suck his thumb and looks at DVD case again) Phantom? God, the Phantom's hot too…Ah! Sick! Did I just say that out loud!
Christine: Jah…Might wanna give me that…duhvuhd case…
Authoress: Gang, this is the Witch. She's super pissed right now so don't know one a-go messing with her…for the sake of your life, don't do it.
(A little man runs in and looks all panicky at everyone)
Little Man: My wife just died!
Authoress: Wrong timing, Baker!
Meg: This musical is quite depressing…everyone dies (A Les Miserables tune echoes I the background and another young lady named Cinderella runs in, followed by Little Red Riding Hood and Jack)
All: His wife just died! (Points at Witch) It's your fault!
Witch: Pah! Screw you all and take my magical beans with you!
Raoul: Beans! Lovely, lovely beans!
(The Witch screams and disappears in a wisp of smoke)
Erik: She needs some Prozac.
Raoul: Ha! Look who's talking!...But, I take pills. Special pills that tell the evil monkey in my head to stop playing the symbols.
(All look to Christine)
Christine: He's ADD.
Raoul: Pretty, shiny things…
Authoress: Whoops! Time's up! Onto the next musical!
(Everyone is sent through one of those Twilight Zone spinning thingys and they land in a city of…green)
Erik: Where are we….now?
