16. The Patents
Next morning, old Weasley familiar Erol tumbled into Ron's cornflakes, wearily holding out a voluminous letter to him.
Harry hurried toward the Gryffindor table a bit late. Ron saw him, and hollered, the owl twisting in hands: "Oi, Harry – there you are – here's news! I've meant to tell you that I sent an owl to Fred and George about the patents! This must be their reply!"
When Ron had untied the message, Erol helped himself to some of the milk him was sitting in. Harry idly fed the frail ancient bird bits of warm sausage and pie that he took greedily while his friend opened the letter.
Out fell some small bags that Ron put aside. He drew out the parchment. After some moments, Harry heard him giggle.
Ron said: "Listen, Harry – remember what Hermione said about Snape supposedly holding some weird patents which might be Dark Arts, that Dumbledore mentioned in passing and didn't tell her anything more about? I wrote to Fred and George about that Potions-is-Dark-Arts-lessons idea and what Hermione said about those patents Snape holds, and would they look them up so we might know what they are about even if Dumbledore won't tell us? Fred and George were at the Office for the Registration of Wizarding Inventions – Hermione should like THAT name! Where is she anyway?"
"I think there was something she wanted to talk to McGonagall about," said Harry
"Oh. Well, Fred and George have looked into... our affair, among other things. They are excited, I think. Seems they found something, too."
After that announcement, Ron grew more and more quiet reading on, and after a while, he exclaimed: "No! This is… I can't believe it!"
Harry looked at him questioningly.
"You won't believe this, Harry..."
"Try me," Harry said dryly.
Ron lowered his voice to an agitated whisper.
"They are at the Wizarding Patents Office anyway a lot those days, to register some of their own new stuff, and to do some research. And you know what?"
Harry nodded eagerly but Ron said nothing, enjoying himself greatly reading on until Harry impatiently urged him to speak on.
"Go on; don't make such a show of it!"
Ron's voice became even more conspirational.
"They can't do it! Even before they delved into the files to look up what we wanted to know, they came across his name – Snape is holding patents to certain inventions that they themselves were about to claim. Some of them are as old as 25 years! I understand they are not jokes, but basics rather, useful for jokes, or shows, and many other things, too. And his rights are written out in such a clever manner that Fred and George can't even use parts of their own ideas, for fear of being sued for infringement, or whatever that is called – their inventions are so similar sometimes that they'd have to buy the rights off Snape to pursue their business if they don't want to drop the idea altogether! Isn't that weird? Snape inventing jokes and things, and not the mean, say, torturing, kind of potions… Strange too we should ask, they write – they had hoped no-one would notice so that they might be able to use some of their own stuff anyway… They count on our discretion there, of course. That nasty git is impeding their affairs even now that they've left school!"
Harry stared at his friend in surprise.
"I can't believe that..."
Ron greatly enjoyed to have Harry gaping at news he delivered for once, and not the other way round, and continued in a mixture of glee and anger.
"Neither can I, but there you are. They got into research mode immediately upon receiving my letter of course, and looked into some of the other things of Snape's, too. Some, they say, are downright weird, and they can't make much of them yet but that they are not Dark by all appearances. The Wolfsbane potion is on his list as well, according to what they found. They say they saw no Dark Arts stuff at all so far, unless basic Wheezes were to be counted as Dark, and that now they understand a lot better why it was that their jokes went wrong so often in Potions. By our request, they found several other things there that they'd planned to work on themselves in the future!
"They are lain out beautifully, perfect for their use and to their purposes, Fred and George say! Would spare them a lot of work, months of research to say the least, not to mention equipment, if they could obtain them. But they don't have the money yet – even if they had, can you imagine Snape, of all people, letting them use his things? This way, they write, they might as well stuff it – at least they found out before they seriously started working, so we saved them a lot of trouble. In turn, they forgive your attempts at getting them to come back to Hogwarts, which they still won't, even now, I am to tell you."
Harry shook his head. Snape might not be what he seemed to be, but his assisting Fred and George in setting up a joke shop in a grand manner was inconceivable either way. There was no chance that the Potions Professor would bring down jokes on his head the basics of which he had invented himself!
Ron continued: "Fred and George say the inventions are so well done that even now, more than 20 years after most of them have been registered, not to mention been made, no-one could possibly come up with better stuff, or with anything to get around them, at least not without a tremendous amount of work and money involved. And they are good for 50 years beyond the death of their owner! Can you believe it, Harry? Snape, of all people, was into jokes and show stuff headlong at one time, it seems! According to this letter Fred and George think they needn't bother since the patenting the git has done is waterproof. It even blocks things related to Snape's inventions that might come in handy!"
"They are quite at a loss what to do now, because surely Snape would never ever grant them the use of his stuff, and they can't really proceed without that, or without violating his rights. In any case, he's sure to attach a price to his inventions that they can never afford even if he was willing to sell them, or whatever it is that you do with patents."
Hermione, who had joined them, inquired what their whispered conversation was about, and they boys said they'd tell her later.
When they did, during the break before Potions, she exclaimed: "See? I said it all would come to light eventually!"
"It seems to me," said Harry ponderously, "that this coming-to-light of Snape's patents is very much Dumbledore's doing, with your help..."
Hermione gave him a curt, suspicious look at that.
"He plays everyone, you know?"
The main subject of their conversation entered in his usual brisk manner, bidding the class silence, and Hermione could not reply to what Harry had said.
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After a week that had been highly eventful for him, what with the patents surprise, Hermione's ideas, Silva Snape's return to the wizarding world, their first meeting to help Silva re-establish her knowledge of the wizarding Arts, the first meeting of Dumbledore's Army, the terrible things he had to listen to, and his various almost-successful attempt to apologize to the Potions Professor, Harry Potter was looking forward to some quiet evening hours in the Headmaster's office. Dumbledore had set this date only the day before, and had not found time to meet Harry at any other time that week.
Harry was sure that other gruesome events would have to be told in the course of the story, and probably tonight too, but he was happy that he'd heard about Idane's death already, and would not have to face something like that today. He was in a good mood. The peace of the circular room and Fawkes's presence would be a relief after the lively din of the Common Room.
Right after they'd finished dinner, Harry went to see the old wizard. He was rather early in his arrival at the headmaster's office.
Upon knocking, he was invited to enter, but stopped dead when he saw that the Headmaster already had a visitor.
A big, red-haired man was pacing in front of Albus Dumbledore's desk, and he must just have said something funny, because both men were laughing.
Only when he turned his bespectacled head, Harry recognized the man. It was Arthur Weasley who had come to see the Headmaster. He was in a suit the like of which Harry had never seen on him, and it became him well.
Harry beamed at him. "Mr Weasley! How are you? How is everyone?"
"Arthur it is, Harry, please do try – I won't have you call me mister after what you did for me last year," the father of his best friend said.
Harry blushed.
Arthur ignored his discomfort.
"So, Harry, good to see you so well. I just told the Headmaster about the endeavours of my twins… It seems that you and Ron set them on their track? Now how on earth did you find out about it?"
Harry was befuddled, but it slowly dawned on him. Snape's inventions –
"I think the Headmaster mentioned the patents to Hermione in passing, and we wanted to know whether they might be Dark, or dangerous in some other way. Ron said that his brothers were at that Patents Office anyway, and owled them."
Arthur Weasley gave Albus Dumbledore a sharp look who silenty shook his head in what appeared to be honest and puzzled denial.
Harry grinned.
"Ron got a letter in return today… Fred and George must be exasperated!"
"You bet they are, Harry! My colleague Ataraxia Cobblewith, who's in charge of the Patents Office, told me that my sons have been showing up there on a daily basis lately, rifling through patents issued in the area of sweets, potions, hovering charms, magical packaging and disguises, show stuff, etc., and looking for unusual inventions in general.
"Fred and George were most polite with her, by the way. They approached her a couple of days ago, asking specifically to see all patents issued to the name of Snape. She said they had come across one of those before, seemed interested, but had put it aside again.
"There were quite a lot. Ataraxia said that after she brought them for the boys to read she had a hard time keeping her composure. Fred and George, on looking through them, went into fits of admiring sounds it seems, putting aside only a few of what must have been fifty-odd patents. But eventually they stopped reading altogether, staring at each other and looking crestfallen."
Arthur snorted with amusement, and Harry was sure he'd heard a cackle from the Headmaster. While he pitied Fred and George, this was just what he wanted to know, and he couldn't help grinning on imagining the look on the twins' faces when they found out.
Arthur Weasley continued with his story after a sip of tea.
"They eventually came up and asked her if one S.Snape, Esq. whom most of said patents had been made out to would by any chance NOT be THE S.Snape, now a Potions Professor at Hogwarts? She looked that up for them and, to their chagrin and annoyance, had to confirm that sorry, but he was. Their mood dropped spectacularly at that, she said, and the information sent them reeling with disbelief too, I think.
"Apparently, my sons moaned that several of the best things they had ever seen were issued already, and to that particular S.Snape of all people; that they'd hoped to get ideas, but not even dreamt of finding that much of what they were intending to work at had already been done, and was basically ready to be used!"
Dumbledore giggled again. "Nice thought to find these two bewildered themselves for once!"
"So close and yet out of their reach entirely... Their research robbed them of some of their good hopes, since your Potions master seems to have been as thorough in the inventing as in the applications business. Just the stuff they wanted, but not protected like that…
"I doubt that they will dare to approach him to obtain rights to use some of them. I think they ought to though... Really, Albus, I think the boys should try just to make sure…"
Harry threw in: "Snape surely wouldn't ever let them have them, don't you think, sir?"
"Don't be too sure now, Harry...," the Headmaster said, giving him a long and thoughtful look. Without asking him, they will never know. Arthur is right, you see?"
Arthur went on.
"The twins have been talking of nothing else since. In some of the patents, another name showed: Idane Groenbergsdottir. They asked me about her. I had to rack my brain a bit, but eventually remembered that she was that rather attractive part-giant, part-Muggle artist who did those really great shows-between-the-worlds back in the 60's or early 70's, and that Snape might have been working for her then. When I told Fred and George that there had been rumours that those two were lovers, they went into fits, and would not have one word of it. She vanished at the height of her career, didn't she?"
Albus nodded, his face giving nothing away.
"She's probably gone back to the Muggle world for good, or to her giant ancestors. Wellwellwell... However, I must be going myself."
Arthur turned to Harry, smiling widely, and said: "You know, Harry, I've been promoted. I'm in charge of the Department of Muggle Relations now. That way, I should be able to do a lot of work for the Order."
Harry gaped. "So you're a Minister yourself now, sort of? That's great!"
"Sort of, Harry, and with a lot of work to do ahead. It seems Fudge has realised that he needs someone sympathetic to Muggles in such a position now that You-know-who is back. The Minister's really done me something good there, too – it's not merely office work, so I can personally stay in touch with the Muggles, and those incredible inventions they make. I even get to meet some of them on a regular basis – their relations people, and I've been told that they are really nice. Also, it is paid A LOT better. We're going to have the Burrow renovated thoroughly next spring, Harry. You are invited to help!"
"Yes, of course, I'd love to!" Harry smiled. "But… you won't change the kitchen, or buy Muggle designer furniture, will you?"
"Muggle designer? Hmm.. what is that?"
Harry made a face. A bad idea to mention this!
"They build ugly, dys-functional, non-magical furniture that no-one really can live in," he ventured, quite unjustly.
Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he could make out a wide grin on Dumbledore's face.
"Ah," made Arthur Weasley, "now why should they do that…? However, we are not changing the kitchen, no. Molly won't have it. But there must be a new range, and you know how the roof is leaking everywhere… Would you tell Ron and Ginny? I think they'll be very pleased, but I have to be off again right away, there's no time to find them. No end of work yet today. Say sorry about that for me and give them both a hug, will you?"
Harry nodded.
"So goodbye, Harry, it was good to see, you, and thank you, Albus, for…"
Arthur pulled Harry toward him by his shoulders, just not hugging him himself, "… and thank you, again."
"Don't mention it, Arthur, it was nothing," said Dumbledore in deliberate mis-apprehension to take the awkwardness out of the situation for Harry. "It was very good of you to stop by and let me know personally. Your new schedule must be pretty tight…"
"Yes, it sure will be soon, but right now, we are still setting up office, and my crew is getting ready to brief me. Sounds great, doesn't it?"
"Say hallo to Molly for me!" Albus Dumbledore said.
Harry added: "For me, too!"
Mr. Weasley nodded, beamed at both of them in turn, said goodbye, stepped into the floo, and was gone in a green flash.