Diclaimer: I don't own Budwieser, the 'real men of genius' commercials, FullMetal Alchemist, or any related material.
Gaby The Mr. Clean Alchemist Presents: Real Alchemists of Genius.

(real alchemists of genius)

Today we salute you, Mr. Crimson Alchemist Guy.

(Mr. Crimson Alchemist Guy)

Screw the laws! You go around and blow up whatever you want...WITH ALCHEMY!

(I see a light)

You know it's illegal, but who cares? You just wanna see the ole fireworks light up again.

(You'll make a good bomb)

I hope you die. But Archer seems to like you. How lovely.

(Instant Yaoi!)

So crack open a flaming bottle of lighter fluid, Dude, because you like it when stuff go BOOM!

(preeeeeeeeeeeeetty)