AN : Hey everyone! It's me Garnette. First of all I want to apologize to all of you for updating for soo damn long! I kinda lacked of inspiration. But thanks to all love songs that made my romance instinct came back again. So here it is my next chapter of Game of disguise. I hope you'll all like it. And last but not least, I want to give a bunch of thanks to all my reviewers, you guys are the best! And now, please enjoy this chapter and don't forget submit your reviews too!
Game of disguise chapter 5
Heartbreak
Starlight ClubI don't even have a clue why I'm here. This is like bullshit. Whatever I do it won't make any difference with my feelings.
Sakura sighed. She now dressed as Ying Fa and stared lazily through her orange juice's glass. She took a glance to her left and right, finding that her what-so-called bodyguards still sat and watching her.
Great! Now I know why rich kids wanted to ran away from their parents. It's annoying knowing that you were being watched.
She snapped back from her thoughts when she felt her cell phone vibrate in her jeans pocket. She took it out and flipped it open.
"Hello."
"Sakura honey, have you seen him?" Came Ashley's curious voice.
"Nope, not a single sight." She answered lazily.
"Well, I'm so sure he'll come tonight, how about Hiiragizawa?"
Sakura chuckled lightly. "You're still interesting in him? Guess what aunt Ashley? He's more interested in Tomoyo than me." That was true of course.
"Nonsense! They, playboys always wanted the best! Why would he fell to a maid?"
Sakura felt a little bit angry knowing that actually Ashley looked down on Tomoyo. "Well, she's my friend, okay?"
"Okay, I'm sorry."
Just when Sakura wanted to reply, a deep man voice called behind her.
"Miss Zhang Ying Fa?"
Sakura turned around and saw Syaoran looked marvelously sexy. He wore dark blue jeans with a white t-shirt inside his western-style shirt. He let the buttons undone revealing his well-built chest under the white t-shirt. His hair was let messy with some bangs hanging above his eyebrows. Sakura could only amazed and try not to drool over him.
"Sakura? Sakura?" On the other line Ashley was wondering why she abruptly quiet.
Sakura realized that she was still on the phone with Ashley. So she gave Syaoran a one-second-please look and told Ashley what happened. She hung up a few seconds later.
"I'm sorry Mr. Li, I was talking to my aunt."
Syaoran gave her an understanding smile. "It's ok miss Zhang."
There was an awkward silence between them. Actually Sakura wanted so badly to talk to him but she couldn't find a proper topic. Luckily Syaoran's the one who started the conversation.
"So miss Zhang, are you alone here? Or do you have any company?" He was very much hoping that she's alone. He really wanted to know more about her. There was a strange feeling like he had known her very well.
Sakura shook her head. "No, I'm very well alone." She saw that he was going to ask something again, but she already knew what he would ask. "You might as well wonder why I'm here alone right? Well, I don't know, I just came back from French so there's nothing interesting for me to do."
Syaoran smiled again.
Gosh, please just stop smiling! You don't know how bad the effect of your smile caused me.
"Well, I'm alone too. Can I sit here?"
Sakura was just about to ask about Mei Lin when she remembered that Syaoran didn't have any idea that she knew about her.
"Sure."
Syaoran then sat next to her and ordered vodka. Sakura could only stared at him for she had no power to do anything else. Syaoran noticed this and he looked back at her.
"Is there something wrong miss Zhang?"
Sakura hurriedly shook her head. "Nope, nothing, I'm sorry."
Syaoran gave her another breathtaking smile. "So, can we just break those awkward moments and just having some fun?" He asked directly.
Sakura nodded and smile. "So can I call you Syaoran?" She encouraged herself to say it.
"Sure, and you are Ying Fa. How's that?"
Sakura smiled even wider. "That sounds great."
"Ying Fa is a chinese name isn't it? Why did you have a chinese name?" He asked with interest since he was chinese himself.
"Well," Sakura thought hard for a second, then the idea popped in her head. "Well, My aunt Ashley is half chinese and she was the one who named me."
"Ow, I thought it's only parents who are allowed to give us names."
"Well," Sakura shrugged uncomfortably. "Well, you know, my parent were very close to her so they decided to gave the opportunity to her. And maybe that's why I'm very close to her right now."
"I'm sorry for being impolite but where are your parent? I heard you live with your aunt." Syaoran sipped his vodka.
"It's true I live with my aunt, but my dad and brother also live together with us. And for my mom, well, she died three years ago." Sakura looked down to her lap. To her surprise Syaoran took her hand and caressed it.
"I'm sorry, please don't be sad again. I know it's hard to lose a member of family, but hey, I lost my father too."
Sakura raised her head and looked directly into Syaoran's eyes. She found a mist of sadness over his deep amber eyes. "You do?"
"Yes, my father died two years ago. That's why my mother always pushed me around to get my study finished, get married, have an heir and rule the company." He looked a little bit pissed. "But she never give a damn with what I always wanted, what my dreams are."
Sakura moved her other free hand and took Syaoran's other hand. "What are your dreams? What exactly you want to do?" She couldn't help herself not to ask.
Syaoran felt a little bit uneasy. But as soon as he looked at Sakura's determined expression, he didn't have much choice. It was another feeling from inside him that he knew her before. "My dreams? My dreams are simple. I want to get married only with the one I love; I want to rule the company without any pressure. I'm not a selfish person my family always thinks I am. I care about the company, but it's just, I want to do it my way, not theirs."
That moment, all Sakura could think of is to kiss him. He looked so honest. She almost forgot that he's Li Syaoran, the heir of China's biggest enterprise, the Li Company. But then another thought came to her mind. What if he was just acting? What if he's not that predictable? What if it's just his way to get her?
"Are you serious?" Sakura withdrew her hands. She tried her best to avoid his eyes. Deep in her heart she really wanted to believe him.
"What do you mean?" Syaoran just couldn't understand why she acted like that suddenly. At first she was so open and trustworthy. He could see how her deep blue eyes (AN: She wore contact lenses, okay? ) shone some faiths and kindness. But then it changed. Now her eyes were covered with doubt ness.
Sakura looked back into Syaoran's deep amber eyes. She still found his honesty, but somehow a part of her reminded her. No! I can't fall into those eyes! I'm not supposed to fall in love with him! I am not!
She then grabbed her purse and got up from her chair. "I'm sorry Mr. Li, I must go now, thank you for your company, I'm very much enjoyed it."
Syaoran stared disbelievingly at her. Never in his life a girl went away from him like this. And for make it worse, it's the first girl he tried to trust. The next second he could only see her image disappearing behind the club's door. Loud music pumping through the club, but his heart beat slower than usual. Zhang Ying Fa, what did I do to you? What's wrong with you?
:Sakura :
She ran to her room and slammed the door. She threw herself to the bed and cried until her pillow was soaked. Her heart just ached every second she had with Syaoran. God, what should I do? I'm just a human being, I was born to love… So if loving is something I'm not permitted to do, just what is the reason of you creating me? I can't help my feelings. I love Syaoran! I love him…
Sakura continued crying her heart out. A few minutes later she felt dizzy and dozed to sleep.
:Hiiragizawa residence :
"Come on Tomoyo, don't be shy." Eriol took Tomoyo's hand and led her inside his huge house. He helped Tomoyo taking off her coat and handed it to his doorman.
"Such a beautiful companion young master." His doorman commented.
"Thank you, Shinji. Is my uncle around?"
"Yes young master, master Ryu is in the parlor, I think he's expecting you."
"Thanks again Shinji, come on Tomoyo, let's see my uncle." Eriol took Tomoyo's hand. She just nodded but her head still staring to the marble floor. Eriol noticed this so he stopped his way.
He touched Tomoyo's chin and lifted it a bit so he could see through her angelic face. "What's wrong, Tomoyo? Are you feeling unwell?"
Tomoyo forced a smile and shook her head. Though deep inside her she felt nervous and scared. She just knew that Eriol came from a very rich family. It made all her confidence gone. She's just a maid, and he's just as rich as her boss is. She loved Cinderella story, but she never wished to experience it herself. Cinderella only existed in fairytale, not reality.
"Come on Tomoyo, honey, you can't lie to me." Eriol smiled kindly. "Actually you're not a good liar yourself."
Tomoyo smiled at his joke. She knew somehow she had to tell him. "No, I'm okay, it's just…" Tomoyo looked around her surroundings. It was a hall full with lavish furniture. It caught her breath, but it also added her pain.
Eriol realized her uneasiness. "I know, it's all because of these right?" Tomoyo nodded weakly. She really liked Eriol. But to bear the reality of where they both came from, it's not something she really liked.
Eriol held her cheeks with both his hands. He looked deeply into her amethyst eyes. "I'm sorry Tomoyo, I know you'll be very much surprised. And I know, not all people adore luxury and wealth, and I thanked God that you're one of them. But me, myself, can't avoid the fact that I'm born to this family. I enjoyed this luxury life before I met you, but then, after I tasted love and unpretentious feelings from you, I realized there are so much more in my life than just luxury and money."
Tomoyo felt she was about to cry hearing such beautiful words from someone. No one ever praise her that way. She was never been loved so pure like this, except from her mother.
"Sweetheart, please don't cry. If you cry I swear to God I'll leave this house and run away with you."
Tomoyo chuckled a little. It hurt her so badly knowing how deep her feelings towards him. She knew they loved each other, but it just not right.
"So? Do you still want to talk to my uncle or you prefer to take a good sleep?"
"I'm sorry Eriol, of course I will be so delighted to talk to your uncle. You said he's just like a father for you. I just hope that he'll like me."
Eriol kissed her lips tenderly. "Of course he'll like you, you're adorable."
Then they went to the parlor. Eriol opened the wooden door and saw his uncle smoked a cigar. He was standing beside the window, so his back was facing the door.
"Uncle Ryu, as I said, I want to introduce Tomoyo to you."
Ryu turned around and saw his nephew with a girl in his hand. He watched Tomoyo from head to toe. He saw that she moved beside Eriol uncomfortably. He thought that she was really pretty indeed. But she doesn't have enough money and popularity. My well known reputation will not be ruined by that girl.
Ryu didn't say any words. He just sat on one of the coaches in the room, still smoking his cigar.
Eriol then broke the awkward moment. "So uncle Ryu, this is Tomoyo Daidouji, and Tomoyo, this is my uncle Ryu Hiiragizawa."
Tomoyo tried hard to hide her nervous feeling and plastered a smile. She extended her hand for a shake but Ryu didn't seem to be interested, on the other hand he got up from his chair and walked to the ashtray. He threw his cigar and looked at Tomoyo with disgust.
Tomoyo pulled her hand and stared at the wooden floor. She felt very sick right now. What she really wanted is just to run away from the room.
Eriol was just about to say something when Ryu spoke. "So this is the girl you told me earlier. I must admit that she's kind of pretty, but pretty is not enough."
Eriol's face reddened with anger. But he waited; he wanted to know what his uncle dared say about his lover.
"You know what young girl, we're the high class society are very strict about our partners. And as you know, my loveable nephew here is a part of that society, and that's why, beauty is not enough. You must have the power, popularity and above all, money."
Eriol could feel Tomoyo's hand became cold. He looked at her and found her beautiful angelic face was now covered with sweat and some tears. And it made him just angrier.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT UNCLE? YOU SLEPT WITH WHORES!" He shouted.
Ryu only smirked at him. "So my lovely nephew, are you trying to say that you're an angel and I'm the devil? You forgot who you really are?"
Even though Eriol had confessed to Tomoyo about his status, he hadn't told her the part about being a player. It was the last thing he wanted her to know. He just loved her so much that he didn't want her to leave him. He knew exactly that she would run away from him if she knew how many girls he had slept with and then left them. But it was his past. He hadn't known the real meaning of love, and be loved in return. He hadn't known how it felt to love someone that he couldn't bear to think about her leaving him.
Tomoyo was very flustered. She couldn't understand what Ryu had said about Eriol, was it something he hadn't said about him?
"Oh, so you're little friend here hasn't know about your profession yet? Oh how stupid I am, of course she hasn't know, she won't be here if she knew how heartless you are my nephew."
"SHUT IT uncle!"
Tomoyo took her hand from Eriol's grip. She didn't know whom to believe right now. Everything's full of lie right now.
Eriol looked back at Tomoyo, he tried to touch her cheek but she slapped his hand. "What is it that you haven't told me? Tell me right now!"
Ryu smirked at the scene. His plan just succeeded.
"No, Tomoyo, I…"
"Tell me!" Tomoyo commanded.
Eriol tried hard to tell her the words but it just very hard. He really wanted to hug her right now, but he knew it's impossible. Seeing her face full with tears like now just tore him apart.
"I… I was a player, a playboy. I seduced many girls, slept with them, and then left them." Eriol felt limp. If he were not a guy, he would have cried. His heart ached badly.
Tomoyo felt like her surroundings were about to collapse. She felt so weak in heart and physic.
"But it's just my past, I am not a player anymore, I love you, I only love you… please give me a chance Tomoyo…"
Tomoyo shook her head and then smiled weakly. "I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be your another girl who'll sleep with you and then get dumped. Thank you for your kindness Hiiragizawa-san but I only seek for love. Anyway, just like your uncle said, I'm not going to fit in your social life. Maybe I'm not rich, but I have my dignity." With that, she ran outside the room. Eriol ran after her and caught her wrist. He pulled her weak body towards him and hugged her tightly.
"No Tomoyo, don't leave me, I'm not lying to you, I love you, I really love you."
Tomoyo pushed him aside and plastered a fake smile. "Guess what? Cinderella's late for reality." And then she ran, took her coat and went outside the house. Outside was raining so she was soaked with rain. Her tears were mixed together with the rain streaming down her face. I was so stupid that I believe I will be okay. I was so stupid that I fell to his trap. Why didn't I realize earlier? It can't be that perfect. He's handsome, rich and then fell for a maid like me? It's impossible, and yet, I still believe him.
Tomoyo's heart was crushed that night. She promised herself to be stronger next time and not easily fell for anyone.
:Syaoran :
He sat on the bench in his terrace. He looked straight to his large beautiful garden with a fountain and a swimming pool. He saw some of his gardeners were cutting the grass and some were cleaning his pool. He looked around and found some maids were mopping and cleaning the house. Great, I only surrounded by my staffs. This house is packed with people but somehow I still feel lonely.
Then Shiao Chin passed his by with a vacuum cleaner in her hand. She bowed politely to him and continued her way. But then, the thought crossed his mind.
"Hey, Shiao Chin."
Shiao Chin stopped her steps and turned her heels. "Yes master Li?"
"Can you tell Sakura to bring me a tea? And please make sure she's the one who bring it here."
Shiao Chin nodded. "Of course, right away sir."
Why did I call her? Is it because somehow her name accidentally is same with Ying Fa?
A few minutes later Sakura came with a tray of tea. "Here's your tea master. I've prepared some of your favorite flavors, peppermint, camomile and cinnamon."
Syaoran stared at her for a few seconds. She has the same name, and her face is a little bit like her. But Ying Fa is far more sophisticated. Sakura's just a plain simple girl.
"Master, master? Which one do you want?"
Syaoran snapped back to reality. He rubbed his eyes and looked at a smiling Sakura still holding the tray.
"Oh, sorry, what did you say?"
Sakura smiled again. "I was asking you which flavor do you want, peppermint, camomile or cinnamon?"
"Which one do you like?" He asked back.
"It's not my choice, you're the one who's going to drink it, so I can not say much master."
Syaoran chuckled a bit. He really liked Sakura's personality. She's a very friendly girl, she always seemed to cheer and laugh. She also a trustworthy person. She can always lighten his mood. That's why he chose her to be his personal servant.
"Why don't you sit here with me? Let's talk and having some tea." He motioned her to the spot next to him.
Sakura was very surprised. She felt like in cloud nine. But she had to keep her distant or he would find out about her being Ying Fa.
"But master…"
"Come on, I'm the master here, no one will scold you."
Lay your head on my pillow .Here you can be yourself .No one has to know what you are feelin'.No one but me and you
Sakura had no other choice so she sat beside him, still holding the tray on her lap.
"So, you haven't answered my question yet. Which flavor do you want?" Syaoran asked again.
"Well, you haven't answered mine too." Sakura teased him.
Syaoran pretended to hardened his face and frowned. "I'm the master here, whoever disobey me will get her punishments."
I wont tell, your secrets. Your secrets are safe with me. I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages in your diary
Sakura tried to hold back her laughter.
"Come one, if you want to laugh then just laugh."
Sakura then stopped and looked at him disbelievingly. "As I said, if you want to laugh then just laugh. You know what Sakura? I feel tired being surrounded by serious things. I want to have some good times, when I can laugh my butt off with some friends. I'm tired seeing all people around bowed whenever they passed me, I'm not their God, why do they have to bow?" Syaoran rested his head on his knees (AN: His kness were both sat on top of the bench.).
Sakura tilted her head and saw his face was deep in thoughts. "Well, you can't blame those people. We, poor people try to gather money as much as we can. So we don't want to upset our boss and get fired. How can we feed ourselves if we lost our jobs?"
Syaoran turned his head and looked at her deep emerald poles. Somehow he felt a familiar feeling, like he had seen those looks, those eyes, that radiance. "Is that so?"
"Yes, I think if you want them to be relax around you, you have to make the atmosphere. You have to take the first action."
I feel such a connection. Even when you're far away. Oooh baby if there is anything that you fear. Call 489 4608 and I'll be here
Syaoran was mesmerized by her eyes and words. He never thought that a person like Sakura could say such logical things. She's smarter than he though she was.
"You know what Sakura? You're the first person I can talk about my personal feelings." But then, he remembered last night with Ying Fa. How he tried to open up to her but she rejected him. "No, no, I guess you're not the first, the second exactly. But you're the first who understands."
She realized that mists of disappointments were covering his eyes. "Last night I tried to talk to her about my true feelings. I thought that she'd listen and understand, her eyes were like yours, shone with trustiness. But then she just left." He closed his eyes for a moment and then opened it again. He turned to look at Sakura's emerald eyes. "I must admit that she's the most beautiful woman I've ever met. She's not like other women. When I first saw her, it's not lust that I felt; it was deep curiosity and need."
I won't tell your secrets. Your secrets are safe with me. I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages in your diary
Sakura knew he was talking about Ying Fa. But she couldn't say a word because she was supposed to know nothing about Ying Fa. So she just sat there and listened to him. Somehow, being that way made her feel peace through her whole being.
To her surprised he chuckled lightly. "And somehow, she has a same name with you, cherry blossom."
Sakura didn't know why she did that, but her hand moved out of her control. She put her hand on is shoulder and patted it slowly. "I don't know why, but I think you have more things to say, you looked kind of depressed."
Only we know what is talked about, Baby boy. I don't know how you could be driving me so crazy. Baby when you're in town. Why don't you come around. I'll be the loyalty you need. You can trust me
Syaoran closed his eyes once again. "Depressed? I don't know if it's depressed or not. I just feel bored and strange. Like I'm not a real person. I don't know which one is my true feelings and which one were someone else's anticipation." He inhaled some air and continued. "I born to a wealthy family, my life had been planned since I was just a baby. At first I'm okay with that. But I grew, I grew older and I understand that life is more than what I knew. I want to experience every aspect in life. But my family didn't care about my feelings, they only demand me to rule the company and continue the clan."
Sakura felt very sorry for him. He looked so happy outside. She always thought that his life is so perfect, but things were not as it seemed.
"But master, you always looked very cheerful and happy." She said.
"I always wore a mask. I pretended to be happy for the sake of people around me, like my staffs and some friends. That's why sometimes I took my time with girls; it's just my way to forget my problems. But as for now, after I met Ying Fa, I realized that girls were not meant to be hurt or used. They deserved to be loved by their loved ones."
Sakura patted his shoulder again. "I want to be in love, Sakura. I want to know how it feels." Syaoran said again, he was now looking through Sakura's eyes. Sakura could only freeze at that moment. She didn't know what to say or do.
I won't tell your secrets. Your secrets are safe with me. I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages in your diary
Sakura then managed to say some things. "Everyone was born to love, and of course being loved in return. It's our right. You don't have to learn how to love; you'll know it naturally. It's in everybody' blood. You just need to find the perfect person, the one you always seek."
"How do I know that she's the one I've been looking for?"
Sakura smiled, her eyes were covered with a slight tear. She couldn't believe that she actually taught someone she loved how to love. She really wanted to shout at him right now, she wanted him to know how she had love him for two years. But she couldn't, she's forbidden to love him.
"Master-"
"Please, call me Syaoran."
"Okay, Syaoran, when you finally found that person, your heart will beat twice as usual. And every night before you fell asleep, that person came into your mind. And someday, every time you saw her, you just wanted to make her happy, without any rewards."
"So that will be the day I fall in love?"
"Yes." Sakura nodded and smile.
I won't tell your secrets. Your secrets are safe with me. I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages in your diary
Syaoran touched Sakura's cheek and smiled. "Thank you so much Sakura, please wish me luck. I think the guy you love will be the luckiest guy in the world. Oh well, about the tea, you can drink it. I have other important things to do, bye, see ya!" Then he got up from the bench and touched Sakura's hair tenderly. After that he went to his bedroom.
Guess what Syaoran? You're the lucky guy you said…
Sakura wiped a single tear that fell on her cheek. She just loved him more and more everyday. And that little moment with Syaoran only added her love towards him.
Why can't I love the one I love? Why do we have to be this distant? If he fell for Ying Fa, can I assume that he fell for me? Of course I can't, because I'm Sakura Kinomoto, and she's Zhang Ying Fa.
"Sakura!"
Sakura turned her head and frowned.
What the hell does she want?
To be continued
AN : Okay peeps, what do you think? I'm sorry if it's still a dull. And I want to apologize once again for the late update. I hope you still want to add your reviews, comments and critics, because they mean a lot to me! Thank you so much, I hope I can continue this fic sooner! Oops, I forgot, it's fasting month for all Moslems, so I want to apologize if I did any mistakes. May God bless you all!
PS: The song is "Diary" by Alicia Keys.
Review responses :
keladry9 : Thank you so much! but I'm afraid this story won't end so soon, because there are still many things i want to write...
tenshi cherry blossom : Why Ashley hates Syaoran's family? Actually she only hates Chen, but since he taught Syaoran how to be just like him. She doesn't like him too. Well, the reason why she hated because Chen broke her heart in the past. Thank you!
Tsuki no tenshi : We'll see about that later! but thanks anyways!
Atruyai : Lolz... I know Ashley's kinda selfish isn't she? well, i thought i'll make her as the foe, but it will be so cruel... But let's see what she will turn out to be... Thank you so much for your understanding!
I'm sorry i can't put all your names here. I'm in a real hurry. But i'll try to in the next chapter, which i hope will come out soon (as i have finish half of it). Well, ja everyone, please keep reviewing, ne?
Garnette Lovegood