Kalivax: Ohayo! Kalivax back at ya with a brand new story that I wrote at work. It's based on a dream I had, and interestingly enough, the more I write the fic, the more different it is from my dream. Yeah, this used to be OC/Elijah Wood, when I went through my whole L.O.T.R. (Mr. Tolkien's fantastic work, not mine.) and my Mary Sue phase, (weird thing is they both occurred at once...). Anyhoo, I hope ya'll like this. It's my usual shonen-ai, and, just for clarification, Jiraiya and Iruka are cousins. Got it? Read my lips: c-o-u-s-i-n-s. I am Kaka/Iru all the way and (in this fic, at least) they're together. No, in the real thing Iruka and Jiraiya are not cousins... it'd be considerably weirder for poor Iruka if that was the case...so, um, on with the fic!

Disclaimer: You potheads, it's common knowledge. I don't own Naruto—believe me, if I did, it would be in Be-Boy and the rating would be M (Sparklies for anyone who knows what I'm getting at!). Mwahahahaha! -cough- I think I'll just go now...

(by the way: thanx to Tomomi who beta-edited this for me!)

7 O' Clock News

by: Kalivax

(The Wondrous Shonen-ai Shinobi)

Uzumaki Naruto glared at his two uncles. "No," he stated immediately, anger significant in his eyes—hard baby blues.

"But, Naa-chan, they're Iruka's friends," his uncle Jiraiya explained from across the dinner table.

"Oh? In that case," Naruto paused and thoughtfully slurped some ramen, "OK."

"Wait, what's the matter with my friends?" Jiraiya questioned, brow furrowing. He pushed his ramen aside.

Naruto resumed glaring.

Iruka wisely decided to cut in. "They'll be coming tomorrow," Iruka said hastily.

"Really? Who are they?" Naruto prompted, forgetting his ill will toward his other guardian, for the moment at least.

"They're just some friends," Iruka answered, blushing slightly, clearly hiding something. "They'll be bringing some people."

"People?" Naruto repeated, curious.

"Yes, people. They'll be staying for two weeks. I know the saying 'Guests and fish go bad in three days'—but, we all used to live together—the people visiting, I mean—and—" Iruka began ranting and Naruto was about to say something when Jiraiya cut in: "His old college buddy Kakashi. Oh, and that weirdo, Gai."

Realization hit Naruto quickly.

"You don't mean—" Naruto began.

"—Yes, the famous talent managers," Iruka finished and sighed. He leaned into his seat, preparing for the awaiting questions.

"Wait—you actually know them? Since when?" Naruto inquired, still a bit skeptical.

"Since college. Haven't you a heard a word he said, brat?" Jiraiya asked in reply, rolling his eyes, and then also looked thoughtful, "In fact, they were at your kindergarten graduation."

"Really? Huh. I don't remember them at all. Still," Naruto shrugged, "whatever. So, who're the people they're bringing?"

Naruto's two uncles exchanged glances. Naruto was so oblivious sometimes. Ah well, sometimes (like this) it was a good thing.

"It's nothing, Naa-chan," Jiraiya replied, shaking his head in amazement, then he smiled. "Now Naa-chan, I—"

"No way, you old fart! You think I didn't notice the dress on the couch(1)! Get away from me!" Naruto screeched, jumping out of his chair and dashing over to Iruka to hide behind his back. "Iruka! Stop him!"

Iruka looked over his shoulder at the scowling boy and then at his cousin, who was now advancing toward their nephew as if he were a cat and Naruto a mouse. "Jiraiya," he growled, warningly.

Jiraiya stopped his advances and stomped his foot rather childishly. "It's for his cousin—Shelby! She's the same size and it needs to be fitted—"

Iruka's stare turned icy cold.

"I have no cousin named Shelby!" Naruto pointed out, clinging to Iruka.

Jiraiya hmph'ed and, with an annoyed expression on his face, went back to his dinner. Naruto, paranoid, still held onto Iruka, anger rising. Iruka sweat-dropped when Naruto used him as a human shield when Jiraiya reached for another pair of chopsticks next to Naruto, clearly egging him on.

Please Kami-sama, don't let them act like this when they arrive, he silently begged, eyes heavenward…

-----

Sunlight streamed through the cracks in-between the dirty white blinds of the window. It splashed its rays into Naruto's eyes and he blinked slowly. Rubbing his eye with one hand and yawning into the other, Naruto cast an eye at the clock.

"Nine o'clock! Kuso! School starts in twenty minutes!" Naruto glared at the clock as if it was its fault. "I can't be tardy again! If I do I'll get detention for two weeks!"

Faster than a speeding bullet, he rinsed his eyes out in the bathroom and dressed in his usual black t-shirt and baggy jeans. Running (and almost tripping) down the stairs, Naruto ran a comb through his hair and grabbed his waiting bento and backpack.

"Iruka! Why didn't you wake me!" he screamed as he ran to find his other shoe.

"I told Jiraiya to!" Iruka answered from outside in the garden.

"You locked your door! How was I supposed to wake you? I couldn't come in!" Jiraiya bellowed from his room upstairs.

"It's called knocking!" Naruto shouted, then glanced at his watch. Ten minutes left—the bus was already long gone and his school was thirty miles away. "Never mind! Bye!" he called and raced out the door, bento and pack in one hand.

He ran for about five minutes when he slammed into someone. That someone was coming out of the local bakery Iruka usually bought Naruto's birthday cake from.

"Watch where you're going!" he boomed and got up, looking fearfully at his watch. "Seven minutes! I'm dead!"

"Tch, idiot, you're the one who ran into me," the other muttered, still on the ground.

Naruto was about to punch the other guy further into the ground when he remembered his situation. "I don't have time for this, so I'll let you off easy!" Naruto shouted, not even bothering to look at the other boy.

Muttering something about stuck-up arsehole tourists, he noticed he was nearing Kiba's house. True enough, the dog-obsessed boy was getting out his keys and opening the door to the driver's side.

"Kiba! Wait for me!" Naruto barked and before Kiba could finish blinking Naruto was next to him in the front seat, screaming at him to go.

"Wha—I—the other side was locked!" he voiced, confused, then he frowned. "Who said you could come into my car?"

"Less talking—more driving! We only have—ack! Three minutes!" Naruto was about to have a panic attack.

Kiba just laughed. "Three minutes is more than enough. Buckle up and don't say I didn't warn you!" Kiba's eye started twitching and Naruto suddenly realized this was more dangerous than detention.

"But, but you didn't warn meeee!" Naruto squawked as Kiba pulled out of the drive way and sped down the road like there was no tomorrow...

Naruto and Kiba did make it on time, although it involved almost crashing five times. Naruto rather shakily walked to his desk near the front and sat down in-between his two friends Shino and Shikamaru.

"Ugh… I think I'm gonna be sick…" he mumbled and rested his head on Shino's shoulder.

"Oi, what's with you?" Shikamaru greeted from his right.

"You drove to school with Kiba." Shino stated, unfazed at the weight on his shoulder. Naruto grumbled in reply.

"You just can't handle speed, wuss," Kiba interjected, taking a seat in front of Shikamaru. "Plus, if you need to throw up, this is science and the emergency safety shower is in the back of the lab."

Naruto opened his eyes and glared at Kiba. "Why you son of a—"

The bell rang, driving out the rest of Naruto's words.

"Ok, class time to—oh, we're missing two," Anko announced as she walked to her desk and pulled out her seating chart. "Hmm… Where's Choji?"

"He ate some bad meat yesterday. He told me to tell you that," Naruto explained, moving his head from the comfort of Shino's shoulder to face the teacher.

"Again? That's the fifth time this month! What are his parents feeding him?" Anko wondered, incredulously, tapping her chin.

"Not his parents. His dad," Shikamaru cut in.

Choji's dad had a reputation of being a daredevil when it came to food. Unfortunately, he always wanted to experiment with his son, like some twisted father-son bonding.

"What was it this time?" Anko asked, morbidly interested.

"Special pork-chop marinated in Inui juice(2) with purple rice pilaf," Shino elaborated, voice monotonous. He, Naruto, Shikamaru, and Kiba would know since they were all offered it at lunch.

"Purple rice? Inui juice? They're gonna kill each other one day… (sigh). Never mind, we can't waste time on this." Anko produced a huge stack of papers from her desk. "Your finals for the third trimester(3) are in two weeks, and by some of your last scores—" her eyes passed over Kiba, Shikamaru, and Naruto "—I'd say you all need as much time as you can get, maybe more. So, starting this week, we'll be reviewing. All the teachers—"

"Sorry I'm so late!" Hyuuga Hinata ran in and bowed quickly to the teacher.

Anko stopped her lecture and smiled. "It's ok; you called in advance. Take a seat."

"Oh… OK," Hinata blushed and bowed again before taking her usual seat next to Kiba, who blushed slightly in turn.

"As I was saying before…" and with that Anko droned on.

"Thank you, Shino." Hinata handed Shino a notebook.

"Oi, Hinata, I thought you were one of the smartest in class, so why do you need Shino's notes?" Kiba interrupted.

Hinata gasped and blushed even more. She looked over her shoulder at Naruto and then turned away. Naruto blinked. Did he just miss something?

"Hey, Hinata? Why were you late?" Naruto wondered.

Hinata dropped her pen just as she was taking it out from her bag. "Um, I—" she bit her lip when Anko interrupted: "Oi, you two, wanna share with the class?" The pair shook their heads and Anko frowned, "No more disrupting my lectures. The two of you stay after class and clean up this classroom."

Naruto sighed. Great, this was just what he needed… Yeah, right… He needed this as much as he needed a tooth pulled, or one of Jiraiya and Iruka's annoying lectures (Iruka lectured, Jiraiya just smirked at him triumphantly.). Hinata went to recover her lost pen and guiltily remembered she probably wouldn't make it to carryout her punishment…

The rest of the day passed uneventfully and slowly. As soon as the bell rang, Hinata mumbled an apology, fervently bowed, and then was off—leaving poor Naruto with a broom, a dust pan, and a classroom that still hadn't recovered from the science lab explosion in the back.

"Nyaah" Naruto cried, feeling sick, as he cast an eye at the green glow on the handle of one of the faucets(4).

"No, we are not helping you. Don't even ask," Shikamaru griped as he and Shino were about to walk out the door.

"Mou, that's not fair! It'll take forever now! That's it—"Naruto launched himself at Shikamaru, held on tightly, and cackled evilly, "I'll think of the most perverted thoughts and think of my memories of Jiraiya at full force. You know what will happen."

Shikamaru paled. "You wouldn't… " he moaned, almost fearfully.

"You know I will. I have no honour!" Naruto reminded.

"Fine! Fine! Just get off! And keep your thoughts to yourself!" Shikamaru answered, annoyed.

Naruto guffawed triumphantly. He turned to Shino.

"You know that won't work on me, I'm not a telepath like h-" Shino said, almost bored.

"Shh!" Naruto placed his hand over Shino's mouth. "We're the only ones who're supposed to know about that, remember? What if someone hears you?" he hissed, looking around. Shino rolled his eyes. "Plus, I know you have a project due tomorrow for your scholarship program. You go ahead." Shino looked at him blankly. "Think I didn't know about it? Go!" Naruto cheered and pushed him out of the doorway, "Ganbatte, Shino!"

"How come he can leave?" Shikamaru grumbled, "I have a busy schedule, too."

Naruto snorted. He highly doubted that. "You know why. C'mon, let's get to work."

Naruto and Shikamaru turned to the classroom and began to clean. After about three hours, the two limped outside, sore.

"Hinata owes us big time," Shikamaru commented, as they walked out the school's front gates.

"Yo." A voice greeted. The two turned to see Shino standing in the setting sun's light holding a bag of Manic's(5). "Hungry?"

"Shino, I love you," Naruto declared, as the three walked away from the school, taking a box of fries.

"I know and it shows," Shino answered, taking one of Naruto's fries. Shikamaru was content with the cheese burger.

"Hey, Shika," Shikamaru looked up at Naruto, "Wanna stay at my house for the next week? I heard your mom's back in town."

Shikamaru swallowed the last of the food in his mouth before responding: "Nah. I'm fine. I can't be afraid of some woman, even if she is my mother. She's still a girl."

"What he means is he doesn't want to be a burden." Shino translated, as they passed the diner where Naruto had run into that stuck-up guy.

"Well, you wouldn't, you should know that by now," Naruto responded, stopping and glaring up at Shikamaru. "Mou, you're so stubborn sometimes. It's ok, believe me, no one minds."

Shikamaru blushed at Naruto's closeness and pushed him out of the way. "Yeah, yeah," he spouted. Walking on, he scanned Shino, "Sometimes I think you're the one who can read minds."

Shino was silent.

The three of them were almost there, when they heard a car horn honk at them.

"Huh?" all three said at once and saw a sleek blue Mini-Cooper pull up to them. The window rolled down to reveal—

"Gaara! What're you doing here?" Naruto wondered, beaming at the other boy. He tilted his head to try and look in the car. "Are Temari and Kankuro here, too?"

"Of course," Temari replied from the back.

"Why're you here? Am I that irresistible?" Naruto teased, leaning onto the car door.

"Tch. Unlikely. You three are lost again, aren't you?" Shikamaru questioned.

Gaara nodded and glared over his shoulder. "Well…" he began.

--Flashback--

The Sand looked from their tickets to the screen.

"We got on the wrong flight! Again!" Temari realized looking form the ticket to the screen with the flight times. "We're at the wrong airport!"

"How long do you think it will be until the next flight to L.A.?" Kankuro interrogated.

"I dunno. I'll check," Temari answered and walked to a nearby flight attendant.

Gaara rolled his eyes. This was the second time this month. Leave it to his siblings to get them lost. He looked around. At least this place was—Temari ran back interrupting his thoughts.

"And?" Gaara prompted, raising an eyebrow.

"Next… flight… (huff)… two… weeks…"she gasped, leaning onto a nearby plastic chair.

"Nani!" Kankuro's eyes bulged, which Gaara found oddly amusing. "Why? Last time, it only took three days!"

"This is a small airport; they barely get flights as it is, remember?" Temari reminded, "And very, very rarely to big cities. So then I guess—"

"We're stuck. There's no helping it. Let's get our bags and find some place to stay. Stop wasting energy panicking," Gaara interjected, annoyed.

His siblings looked from him to each other. Temari pulled out her cell phone and Kankuro raced off to do his brother's bidding.

--End Flashback--

"Oh, stay at my house then!" Naruto gushed, smiling.

"Why not? We just put off our American tour for about two weeks anyway," Gaara agreed, then noticed the others, "Need a ride?"

The three shook their heads. "Gaara, my house is over there," Naruto informed, pointing to the large house next to the house they were in front of.

"Oh. Ok, see you there then," and Gaara and his siblings drove ahead.

"Anyway, Shika, my offer still stands," Naruto stated, as they walked up the sidewalk and Naruto rang the door bell.

"I'll think about it," Shikamaru truthfully replied.

Gaara and his siblings waited patiently with the three friends. When the door opened, Naruto's jaw dropped and his reply was lost, eyes blazing.

"It's you!"

Translations:

ganbatte: do your best

(1) I got the idea of this from the fic, Twisted Fairytale, which I highly recommend. If you don't get it, or haven't read that fic, Jiraiya wants Naruto to cross-dress.

(2) Obvious reference to Teni Puri (I don't own it before you even start.).

(3) My high school is cut into trimesters. I'm assuming others are, too—so their school is set up like mine (Did I mention they're all in high school in this fic? Eheheh, oops.).

(4) There's a lab in the back of the science room and it has lots of faucets.

(5) This is my spoof on Sonic's, the name should be familiar to all of you who watch Sonic Underground (Or who did, that show got annoying after a while…). Manic is Sonic's brother…

Meh. I don't like this chapter. It feels too rushed to me. I like the second chapter a whole lot better. The title's awesome though, if any of you have seen Miho Obana's "Kodomo no Omocha" (the anime), this is one of the songs from it. I picked it because it's about wanting your love to be on the news or something like that. Don't worry it'll make sense later on. To all of you fellow Shino fangirls out there, I am not pairing Naruto and Shino together, sorry. They're going to be more like brothers than anything. I know some of you are shocked that Naruto and Shino can be best friends, but, if you think about it, the two would probably get along pretty well. I mean, opposites attract right? Oh, and I don't want Gaara angsty in this. No, no, no, oh dear sweet mochi, no. I love the Gaara from Family of Demons' (another fic I highly, highly recommend) attitude and, in later chapters, I'm going to try and incorporate that sarcastic wit into this. Hmm, maybe lime in later chapters, but with who? Model Neji? Award-winning actor Sasuke? Or popular lead singer Gaara? I still haven't decided. Oh, I hope you all can figure out what Choji and Hinata really do. I'll give you a hint. It's what you least expect. And no gutter-heads, it's not that! Choji's actually a—oops, gotta go!

Zaijian!

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