A/N: Enjoy the new and re-edited verison!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything of the Harry Potter brand.
Sometimes I wish I were a different person. I know that's pretty weird coming from a "perfect" person like me. I mean I have everything that anyone would want, great friends, family, excellent grades,and a cell phone. I have the respect of everyone I know and I can defend myself against the Slytherins. But yet, I sometimes do wish that I were some one else. The girl on the magazines or on the movie screen, the girl who has all the friends around her. The girl in the shows who may have a problem by the first minutes of the show but 50 minutes later, she has all the answers and ends up with the guy. I dunno who exactly, just some one different. Some one who doesn't have pressure on themselves to out do the past day on their shoulders. Because while it may seem really glamorous in the spotlight...things, as always, aren't well, what they appear to be. Yet at the end of the day I know wouldn't trade it for anything. Most of the time I'm quite happy with my life but I do wish, at time to time, I had someone who understood. Some one I could talk to, and actually have an intelligent conversation and they not judge me on the sterotype I have. (Bookworm, goody goody, do I need to go on?) But that is impossible since they are no transfer students and everyone knows about me. Even the first years who don't even know me, know about me.
Basically I'm screwed.
Okay well not totally...but very much close to it. It used to be easy to ignore these feelings, but now they just keep resurfacing more and more often. Just this feeling of incompleteness. I don't know what could cure it and it feels like it's hurting my heart. It's a feeling that when I wake up in the morning, I wake up a bit sad. I've heard of girls wanting boyfriends, but I think this is way past that. I want someone who understands me but yet will love the fact that I'm really not perfect. Or maybe I just want someone who isn't perfect. Some one who is the opposite of myself, dark mysterious, someone I can study and get under their skin. A soul mate then? Well many of the class is either dating or engaged since this is our last year and many do marry afterwards. But me? Nope, not one single date. Kiss? Nope. Dance? Yes, once,in Fourth Year but that's about it. Not to say I'm not ugly or anything. I happen to think I look just fine without make up but I guess not fine enough for the right guys (Smart, funny, talented...) to notice me. I usually get the guys that usually use sluts. I'm usually a friend. I'm like that expression 'Always a bride's maid, but never a bride,' except I'm always the friend or the one who gives advice about love than actually falling in love.
I know it's sad. Maybe they'll make a TV movie out of it. But I can tell you the guys who do hit on me are pretty weird. It's not like I'm tempting them or anything. I wear turtle necks and I don't own a skirt except for my school uniform. I really don't get it, but that's guys for you.
I'm very uncomfortable as I am sitting in potions right now and because the biggest pervs of them all were in Slytherin. Harry and Ronsome howsensed mytension and theyare on either sides of me, like overprotective brothers, saving me from the bug bad Slytherins...
Hermione wrote this in her journal while fiddling with her necklace and waited for Professor Snape to arrive like most of everyone was doing. Even though they were expecting him to show up at any moment, they all jumped when he burst into the room as he always did. Now Hermione never did know much Professor Snape, only that he was the Potions Masters and he was always dressed in blackand that people made fun of his hair.Not to mention he seemed pretty scary being kinda tall and seemed to tower over his students. His robes were billowing in some kind of cape as he went over to his desk. His dark eyes staring them all down, daring some one to disobey. Hermione saw his eyes look at her in disgust, but only for a moment, just so she could pick it up. She knew Snape didn't like her since she was apparently an aggervating "Little-Miss-Know-It-All" but it wasn't her fault she happened to know every answer.
"Today we will be brewing a Catllacone memory potion." The professor announced. "Can anyone tell me what it does?" he asked, directing the question to more of the Slytherin side as if the Gryffindors weren't in the room. And teachers aren't suppose to have favorites...Still, Hermione raised her hand and as always he ignored it. Until no one would answer, he sighed.
"Alright, Ms.Granger."
"A memory potion depending on which types of ingredients, makes the person relive certain memories. A Catllacone memory potion makes the people remember memories of their youth." she answered perfectly from memory, Snape rolled his eyes as his response.
"You will be split into partners of two." he said, while reading a role sheet. Hermione's heart sank. She knew for a fact, he would put her with Malfoy.
"Granger and Malfoy." she swallowed her fear as she could feel Malfoy's stare on her. As she started putting the potion ingredientstogether, she could tell what he was thinking, the sick pervert. She wanted to be sick.
"Just do the potion." she gritted though her teeth to him. He smirked.
"Thought you would like all this attention mudblood." he commented. Hermione glared at him.
"Go sod off." he laughed.
"Granger's defending herself! Dear Merlin help me!" he mocked with sick amusement in his eyes.Hermione couldfeel fire brewing in her eyes.
"This is coming from the guy who uses money and intimidation to get what he wants." she rolled her eyes. Then she felt his hand on her knee. "Malfoy." she growled. "Get your hand off of my knee." he only smirked.She smacked his hand but he only put it back, just a bit higher. Hermione's eyes widened a bit and was surprised at Malfoy's daringness. She tried to get out of his reach but he some how always kept her in his grasp. Hermione, finally in a last ditch attempt to get Malfoy away, quickly stood up and unfortunately knocked over the potion she was making in the process. The contents spilled everywhere, followed by a magenta cloud of smoke with a loud bang. Shattered glass was thrown everywhere and a couple squeals were heard as students tried to dodge the pieces. She froze and was instantly overcome with fear of what the Potions Master would do.
"Miss Granger!" Snape shouted, rushing to Hermione and Malfoy's work station, glad that it was only a memory potion that was spilled and not something else."What happened?" he asked, even though he saw what had happened.
"Malfoy was harassing me!" Hermione said in defense. Snape raised an eyebrow.
"Is this true Mr. Malfoy?" he asked to Malfoy. Malfoy turned on an innocent face.
"Of course not!" Snape looked from her to Malfoy.
"50 points from Gryffindor." Groans came from the back of room, as Snape glared at them. "Ms. Granger you will have detention. Tonight to clean up this mess."
"But I was getting up as defense! Professor surely you must of seen something!" she tried again, but her plea fell on deaf ears.
"I can't believe he got off on that!" Hermione said, coming out of potions. "Malfoy was trying to feel me up!"
"I'll kill him!" Ron said. She smiled.
"Thanks Ron, but with Snape and his love of his stupid Slytherins around nothing will be done. Jesus!" she said, kicking the wall, ignoring the searing pain in her foot. "Why does this happen to me?" She felt like crying then. It wasn't her fault she was "endowed" with certain things!
"There, there Hermione." Harry said, rubbing her shoulder.
"Only a little longer of this and I'll be free." she said giving a small smile as they went to the Great Hall. But the smile quickly went away as Harry and Ron went to other tables to eat lunch.
Why?
Well Harry and Ron had gotten girlfriends. Real good girls actually, but just Hermione never realized that they would take up so much of their time. Shewasn't a clingingtype personbut she wanted to be able to play at least a game of chess with them! She could feel the rift between the three of them, she had admit some times she felt abandoned by them. Not on purpose she knew, but the feeling was enough to make her question their relationship and how long it was going to last. She sighed and walked to the Gryffindor table and hoped to drown her sadness in a good glass of Pumpkin Juice.
Snape scooped up some of the potion that had been turned over so he could grade it accurately. Of course Hermione would get a zero but the grade would go to Malfoy. He rubbed the potion between his fingers, he could feel some of the Catllacone still. Which would explain why the potion exploded. The Catallcone was always put in first as it had to melt in order for the potion to work and the melting took place as the other ingredients were put in. He tasted a little and it confirmed that the potion was almost done. He made a mental note to make the mark in his grade book and headed off to dinner.
Walking into the dungeons later that night, Hermione found Snape at his desk. As he said earlier, she found herself cleaning the spilled potion by hand. The task was easy enough but she still felt it was wrong that she was having to do detention for only defending herself.
After she was done, Hermione snapped and went straight up to Snape's desk.
"You really are a bad person." she commented. "Why are always picking on Gryffindors? Where do you come off being such a jerk?" she asked him, in fury. He looked surprised for a minute.
"Ms. Granger it's know it alls like you who make my job difficult. I do not have favorites-" he started but she interupted with him.
"Oh so you don't like students who actually pay attention? I know for a fact that you know Malfoy could care less about potions and that ONLY reason he is passing is because he is in Slytherin." she said, now on a roll. "And it's your favor of Slytherins is the only reason I'm here. I bet you knew what Malfoy was doing. Have you no heart?" she paused. "Wouldn't it be your bad luck if I told Dumbledore your ignorance?"
"Ms. Granger, you may be Head Girl but you are not a threat to me." he said easily. Hermione wanted to slam her head against the wallbut was surprised that he hadn't exploded on her."Please calm down Ms. Granger." Hemione rolled her eyes at him.
"You know, there's going to be a moment in your life where your going to want a "Little Miss Know It All" and you know what? She's going to turn you down square in the face and it's going to break your heart. And trust me, as one, it takes a lot to win back one of us."she said, dropping the rag she was using to clean the potion. "I'm done, that was so easy I could laugh." and stormed out of the classroom.
As Hermione left, Snape started to feel a sleepy like state settling in. He fell to the floor with a crash as papers scattered everywhere. He was knocked out cold and the magical mishap of the potion started to kick in.
Hermione didn't know how right, her "Little Miss Know It All"speech would be.
You would expect Snape to explode right? But remember he's under the influence of the potion!
I MUST give a shout out and thank you to UntamedSpirit, one of my best friends,who read over this and helped me pick out this couple, not to mention gave me confidence to post this! I must insist you check out her stories!
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