A/N: Okay, thank you to Storyteller D, Allie, TeriAnn, Adri, anti-irony, Icelandic Morning Glory (Your favorites list? Awwww!), JTfanaddict (I'm glad you enjoyed that line, I've been trying to work Sean's eyebrows into my story) and all my other reviewers. As for Unwanted Souless Freak – are you a mind reader? Alex's point of view follows.

After this I am moving on to Time Stands Still and the chapters will be a little longer and therefore it will take a little longer to write out. Thanks for your patience; I just don't want to break them up into parts 1 & 2. Again, thank you for taking the time to help improve my writing by reviewing.

Remember -- I own nothing. Not Degrassi, not the 80's song, not even a car. Nothing.
On with the show, er, chapter.

Why did everything in life come down to a choice? Paper or plastic? Plain or Peanut? Creamy or Crunchy? Fries or Onion Rings? Pepsi or Coke? One thing or the other?

Some rational part of my brain was screaming that sometimes you can have the best of both worlds, but right now I failed to see how. And right now the choice was clear. I could follow my heart and stay with Jay and continue to live in the moment. Or I could be logical and responsible for once: help Marco make a difference, end up going to University and doing something with my life. The two didn't appear to be able to relate to each other at all. Jay was making it clear I couldn't be responsible and hold his interest. 'Maybe you can't hold his interest anyway,' a little voice in my head whispered, but I ignored it. Or tried to, at least.

Of course, MI lab before homeroom was probably not the best place to think about such life altering decisions. It wasn't even the best place to research and write the morning announcements, but it was better than home. I love my mother more than anything, but since my dad – well, wasn't in the picture anymore – she had made it her business to micromanage my life in between her two jobs.

Paige sat down next to me and I steeled myself for an unpleasant conversation. She had interviewed yesterday at work and I thought I knew what was coming. Not that I have anything against a spoiled little girl earning dollars on her own in the real world. It's just that Paige and me, we don't really see eye to eye so much and the idea of working with her at my movie theater and seeing her in my school everyday was just a little beyond what I thought I could handle. Besides, how much make up could one face hold before it collapsed upon itself?

"Alex. Um can we talk a sec?" So much for scaring her away by not acknowledging her presence. Well, on to plan two, relentless sarcasm.

I raised my eyebrows, otherwise keeping my expression completely neutral. "You're not calling me dog face?" I asked. Just my subtle way of reminding her that we're not friends.

Mr. Simpson interrupted any further conversation. "Okay internet lovers! Two minutes until homeroom so please log off!"

"Just one second please," Paige practically begged. Well, she was persistent, I'll give her that. "We've had our issues I know, but hun you see how much I do around here that I'm employee material."

Did she just call me 'hun'? "I wouldn't worry about it," I started, keeping my voice neutral. I stood up and grabbed my bag. I didn't have much time to make it to the office for announcements. "I put in a perfectly bad word for you," I finished, adding the Alex zing that got me my reputation.

It was fun wiping that smug grin off her face. I'd been wanting to take her down a peg for a long time. Paige was the epitome of what I hated about most of Degrassi: blonde, popular, full of herself and two-faced. I could be just as big a bitch as her, but at least you knew where you stood with me – far, far away was safest. Paige had a way of using her words to hurt those closest to her to make sure she stayed on top. Watching her control game over the years was more than a little sickening.

As I walked down the hall I saw Spinner openly laughing. Trouble in the beehive, huh? I flashed back to Paige's crestfallen face and felt a little bad. True, she was the unofficial Degrassi Queen, but if rumors were to be true her King was trying to trade her in for the younger model. If anything, I was beginning to know what that felt like. If those two, as sickening as they were, couldn't make it work, what hope did someone as screwed up as me have?

I approached the office, trying not to let the Paige thing get to me. What a way to start the morning. Could my day get any better?

Jay was hanging out by the office as I approached and I smiled. Perhaps I was wrong. Maybe he was warming up to a student council girlfriend. 'Maybe I could have everything, maybe there was a chance,' I thought. I was heading into some seriously distugustingly mushy territory when I realized he hadn't been waiting for me, he was leaving, following Rick and Toby with a determined look. I had been all for beating Rick at the Dot, but at school was another thing entirely. I grabbed Jay's elbow from behind.

I spun him around, not sure if I was really angry at him for thinking of starting something in school or angry because I had been wrong and he hadn't been waiting for me. "Raditch is on the war path after the ribbon stuff," I told him. "What are you doing just hanging out by the office? Don't start anything; I don't want to risk this position. Besides, how obvious can you get? Do you enjoy detention?" Okay, well, at least I didn't overreact.

Jay shook his head, trying to look innocent. "I'm up to nothing. Nothing at all. I just wanted to see my girl. Forget it, obviously a waste of time." He was full of shit, but at least he was trying. It was a start. "I got to get to class," he said, turning to walk away. I saw Emma Nelson approaching from behind him. If you want something, you gotta go after it right? Letting him run into his new obsession after a fight with me was not exactly the best way to keep Jay. That's my only rationalization for what I did next.

As Jay started to walk down the hall, I spun him around one more time and kissed him deeply, trying to put all of my desire into that one moment. When he saw his current dream girl Emma, I sure as hell wanted him to know what he would have to give up to get her.

"Something to think about during first period," I whispered. I pushed him away, a confident smile on my face. No way would things ever get that hot in the halls with the prude. "Now scram! I have official DCS business to attend to."

If Emma was even a little bit interested in Jay, which I was pretty sure she was not, the message was clear: MINE!

As for the boy in question, the secret is to leave them wanting more, right? With that thought I walked into the office shutting the door hard behind me.

I'd like to say that I went over the announcements calmly with Marco without a thought to what may or may not be happening with my boyfriend and the girl he finds extremely attractive outside the hall. But my dumb ass had left the print out in Simpson's classroom. Damned if I was going to go back there. So I watched as Marco freaked out, flipping through a book trying to come up with something un-lame to say during our five minutes of what looked like would be dead air time. Out of the corner of my eye though, I watched. I couldn't hear what they were saying or the tone, but I could see enough to know Jay was instigating the interaction. Why couldn't he have just walked away?

I turned and stared as Emma stumbled into the room and performed a Laurel and Hardy routine with the door. She almost sailed over the desk and right into Marco's lap. I was losing my boyfriend to this? I just about threw up right there. But why get mad? Get even.

"Marco, Da – I mean, Mr. Simpson asked me to give these to you." Emma said, handing the info I had printed moments ago to Marco.

Marco was in such panic mode he didn't even realize what she was handing him, he just mumbled, "Thanks, Emma."

I shooed at her dismissively. No way would I let her take credit for saving the day with stuff I had worked on all morning. "Now, run along and play, Emma, dear. The adults have work to do." I felt a moment of regret as I saw her face fall, but that was quickly replaced with the scowl I've made famous.

"Emma, hold on," Mr. Raditch called as she started to open the door to leave. "Come with me and I'll get you a pass for homeroom."

Since when did Raditch hand out personalized passes for homeroom? I was lucky if I could ever get the secretary to give me one because apparently I needed an "attitude adjustment." Admittedly, calling her a slow, fat ho to her face probably didn't help matters, but still. Mr. R never went out of his way to help me. The whole world bowed down to make life easier for Emma frickin' Nelson. We all just live in her almost perfect world.

I took a little satisfaction in seeing that Ms. Nelson left Raditch's office looking like someone had just told her kittens grow up to be cats that die. But only a little.

Announcements went great and Mr. Raditch even complemented me on the research I had done on the up coming 'Whack Your Brain' tournament. Too little, too late, bud.

Morning classes passed the way they normally did; I sat in the back of the class, drawing a design on my arm. As soon as I was old enough, I was going to get a tattoo. My mother would never agree, but it wouldn't be too long before I was legal. Of course, if I was serious about this "real life" thing, maybe I should get it somewhere not visible. These thoughts helped me survive the incredibly slow ticking of the clock.

Not that I couldn't have been a great student if I would only "apply myself." I swear some evil teacher somewhere invented that phrase just to screw with parents' heads. Could I do better in school? Probably. Not worth it though. You use the whole "Alex needs to apply herself" speech and suddenly Mom creates new rules about homework and friends and going out on school nights. I'm sorry, but after 16 years, you can't waltz in and expect to change the rules.

Eventually these thoughts helped me survive until lunch. Well, almost. "Alex?"

Everyone was staring at me as I was intently staring on the design on my left forearm. Great.

"Can I help you, Mr. Simpson?" I asked trying to play it cool.

"Yes, you can. Thanks for the offer. Please stay after the bell." As if on cue the bell rang right then.

Students all raced out to try and get through the cafeteria line as quickly as possible. Great. Just frickin' wonderful. I sighed dramatically as I walked to the front of the room.

"Alex, is there anything I can help you with?" Mr. Simpson asked with his 'concerned teacher face.'

Let's see, Mr. S. My dad's in jail for beating my mom, my mom's trying to make up for 16 years of indifferent parenting in between working two dead end jobs, my boyfriend has recently become attracted to your STEP DAUGHTER, I might have to share my workplace with the prom princess of Degrassi and I'm trying to make something of myself within a school that thinks I'm going to beat them up for their lunch money.

"I'm fine, Mr. S." I said looking away.

He looked unconvinced. Maybe he's not as dumb as he looks. "I know that you and Emma don't get along, but I really do want to help you. You're not dumb, Alex. If you only . . ."

"Applied myself, Mr. S?" I finished for him. "Nothing I haven't heard before. Look, you asked me to run for President and I did. One semi-social behavior at a time is all I can handle. I know you and Sean have this whole mentor/mentee thing going on, but I don't need your help. Thanks."

I walked out the door before I could see the look of disappointment in his eyes. I'm sure he means well, but Mr. Simpson clearly lives in a happy little non-existent world where everyone rides off into the sunset on their own little pony. The real world is a different planet.

I started towards the cafeteria to find Jay and escape, maybe finish up what this morning's kiss started in time to see him blow through the cafeteria doors, looking pissed off.

I started to call out to him, but a look in his eye warned me against it. He looked away and slammed through the main doors.

Whatever was going on, he somehow blamed me. Great, just great. He probably was sick of my jealous girlfriend act, which I couldn't completely blame him for. I was getting sick of it myself.

Cameron walked up then, apparently looking for Jay. "What's his deal?" he asked, looking half annoyed.

I just turned and walked back towards the M.I. lab. Suddenly food was less appealing than it had been moments before. I didn't want to talk to anyone or do anything, so I might as well do homework. My life was officially pathetic.

I considered skipping, but quickly changed my mind. There was student council today, which in and of itself wasn't important, but we were discussing my suggestion to let students into dances at a discounted rate if they volunteered so many hours of time to helping set-up, clean up or planning. It wasn't exactly what I had promised in my speech, but I was trying to make school events to be open to more than just the rich Jimmy Brooks of this school.

And so I sleep walked through the afternoon, trying to figure out what had pissed Jay off so much he had skipped an entire afternoon. Believe it or not, he didn't skip that often. It was easier for him to do his "extra-curricular" activities without Raditch breathing down his neck. Plus, I think that he enjoyed teasing others too much to skip often.

Not that Jay was cruel. There was just something about the quick thinking needed to come up with the right come back in the heat of the moment that was appealing. Some people play chess; some play basketball. Me and Jay? We insulted others. With some people like Toby Isaacs, it was just too easy, like playing against a toddler. Others, like Emma Nelson, presented more of a challenge. The key was to play with everyone, whether it was easy or not.

Eventually school was over and with a quick stop at my locker I was on my way to the student council room. I started to go into the room when I saw Sean looking panicked walking down the hall. Great, just what I needed. Raditch was going to be coming by any minute and if Sean looked like that it only meant one thing. Jay was doing something stupid.

I put my hand on his shoulder and I swear to God he jumped about half a mile. If I had any doubts before, they were long gone now. Sean was up to no good and Jay was right in the middle of it.

"Alex, where'd you learn to sneak up on people like that?" he asked. He was trying to act nonchalant, but it was obvious he was still breathing heavy. I swear Sean Cameron is not cut out for this school bully crap. Seriously, Spinner Mason and Paige Michalchuk combined had less of a conscience than Sean.

I rolled my eyes. "How else do I sneak out of my house every night? My mom's on an overprotective kick right now, so it pays." I shrugged away the feeling that I had every time I told someone something personal. Time to go on the offensive. "What you doing here after school is done? Lost without your little Ellie Wellie to show you the way?"

Sean tensed. "No . . . I just forgot something," he said casually. "What are you doing here?"

Further proof that Sean was lying. One, he just let me sorta insult his girlfriend, who he is normally super, super protective of. Two, that big pause trying to think of what he was doing in school. Three he tried to deflect the conversation on to me.

"Meeting. Official Vice President business, you know," I started to move toward the student council offices. It wasn't worth my time to try and get anything out of Sean. He was as protective of Jay as he was of Ellie, even to me. Sad that he thinks he has to protect us from each other. Sadder still that it was true. Sean started to walk away and I decided to make one last ditch effort to figure out what exactly was going on.

"Cameron!" I shouted down the hall. He froze. "You haven't seen Jay, have you?"

There was a big pause before he answered. "Not since lunch, he said he was skipping out. Listen, I really gotta get that book I left in my locker," he waved down the hallway he was walking down.

Yup, he was in over-protective mode. The only question was whether he was protecting Jay from me or me from Jay.

"Hey, Cameron." He turned around reluctantly, instinctively knowing he had been caught, but I was too upset to care. "Number 1: You're a horrible liar. Two: Your locker's that way." I threw a thumb over my left shoulder and let that sink in for a minute.

He gave me this heart stricken look that almost made me apologize. He really was a good guy. He deserved better than me and Jay and his parents and his brother and everything else. He, more than anyone else at this school, deserved to live happily ever after. I gave him a little apologetic smile and went into the student council meeting.

I tried to push thoughts of Jay and Sean out of my mind. My proposal was approved and then Mr. Simpson droned on and on about the "Whack Your Brain" competition. Turns out if our trivia team won this weekend the finals would be filmed live right here at Degrassi Community School. Marco handed out responsibilities. I was in charge of securing the backstage area. Stereo-typing much? I guess I'm slightly more intimidating than Heather Sinclair, but still. Although, it shows that Marco trusts me. I mean, everyone knows what sticky fingers Jay has and there would be plenty of video equipment just lying around.

Eventually the boring part of the meeting was done.

"Hey, Alex, some of us are going over to the Dot for milkshakes. Want to come?" Marco invited.

I glanced over my shoulder to where Paige and Hazel were putting pictures up on the bulletin board. Paige had a look on her face that was beyond sad. "Actually, I have something I have to do," I told him, walking away.

If I wanted things to change, I couldn't just complain about them. I had to start with myself. And so I called Meeri and told her that Paige would make a great addition to the movie theater staff. When I got home, there was a note from my mom saying she was sorry she missed me and a plate in the oven. I ate quickly and checked the answering machine messages. Nothing from Jay.

I thought about calling his house, but thought better of it. I am not desperate. I went upstairs to start homework and the next thing I knew my alarm was going off signaling morning. I heard Mom getting up and waking for her day job, knowing it had only been five hours since she had stumbled in early this morning. In that moment I made my decision.

I would do better for myself. I would go to University; I would get a real job. I'd buy my mother a house and she could work only 8 hours a day like a normal person, not the crazy schedule she has now. And if I had to do it without Jay, I would.

I showered and got ready for school with a renewed sense of purpose. No more of this wishy washy crap. I always got what I wanted and this time would be no exception.

I walked to school, not avoiding Jay, but not looking for him either. I found him at the start of lunch, just as I reached the staircase. He was staring intently below at something. This was it. If Jay wasn't going to support my decision, well, no use wondering, I might as well find out. 'Well, here goes nothing,' I thought, putting my arms around his waist.

He turned not leaving my arms, so that we were standing face to face. He gave me that little smug smile that always leaves me a little breathless. "Just the person I was looking for."

Well, that response was more positive than I could have hoped for. So far, so good. I tried not to act surprised as I leaned in closer.

"Well, baby, how 'bout we blow this joint and catch up," I whispered in his ear. The whole perfect student decision thing didn't have to start today. No, I could wait a day if meant I got to keep Jay, too.

I felt his body shudder underneath mine. Yes, one last afternoon with extra-curricular activity before work sounded damn good.

"I think that sounds like the perfect way to spend the afternoon," Jay responded, echoing my thoughts. He turned my chin so that I was looking right into his eyes and kissed me hard. We started down the stairs and towards the door when I heard the one voice that could ruin this happy little reunion.

"Mr. Hogart, I do hope you are planning to attend your afternoon classes this afternoon," Mr. Raditch said to Jay approaching quickly. Well, that answered any question I had had yesterday. Jay had skipped out. Damn it, why couldn't he think ahead and realize that it was so much better to use a ditch day in the way I had planned? "Two days in a row and I might have to take some action that neither of us would enjoy," Mr. Raditch continued. I didn't believe him. I think he got some sick enjoyment out of punishing students. Why else would he do it so often?

"I doubt that," Jay said so softly only I could hear him. Although I agreed, why couldn't he just say these things to himself?

"What was that?" Mr. Raditch asked, staring Jay down.

"I said," Jay started in his 'you don't scare me' voice. Men and their stupid pride. I dug my nails into his arm, trying to signal it wasn't worth the fight. He gave me a glare, but changed his tone. "I said, 'yes, sir.'"

"Thank you. Jayson, Alexandra, enjoy your lunch." Mr. Raditch nodded at us like we had just agreed to 'Clean the ravine' or something.

"Damn it," Jay swore softly rubbing his arm.

I laughed. He wanted to take on the frickin' principal, but God forbid I scratched him a little. What a wuss!

"Big baby," I said, playfully hitting his arm. I hadn't laughed with Jay in a long time. I missed it more than I had known.

"Well, maybe there's a way to make this afternoon more interesting," Jay said, nodding at Rick and Toby who were headed toward the cafeteria.

I rolled my eyes. Jay would be Jay. "Just don't get caught," I cautioned. Detention for a week or so would ruin any chance of that hot afternoon in the near future. It was such a pain in the ass trying to coordinate his detentions with my work schedule. Thank goodness Raditch only tried Saturday detention that one time or else it would have been impossible.

"I never get caught," Jay responded, nibbling at my ear. I suppressed a laugh.

"Come on, outlaw, let's get something to eat, since we're not going to be otherwise occupied for a while at least." I walked towards the cafeteria, dragging him by the strap of his bag.

"Fine. Just promise not to feed me." Jay held up his hands as if in an old-fashioned train hold up.

I stopped and looked back at him. What was I, his mother? "Why would I want to do something so stupid?"

Whatever stupid test he was putting me through, I must have passed, because Jay responded with another long kiss. "It's a long story. Suffice it to say that's why I love you."

I'm not much of a girly-girl, but I am female and I felt myself melt into his eyes. Jay hadn't said those words to me in a long time. "You sure about that?" I asked, unable to stop myself. Jay and I didn't do heart to heart talks and I knew I was treading very close to that invisible line.

"Yeah. I may have been distracted lately, but I have refocused," Jay told me pulling me in close, as we headed for the cafeteria. "And as soon as class is over I'll put that focus to good use."

I knew that was the closest thing I would get to an apology, but I didn't care. Jay told me loud and clear that the whole Miss Heal the World crisis was over. It was all I could do not to jump him in the front hall.

Jay headed over to where Sean was all alone. Ellie had a guidance appointment with Sauve. I know Jay thought she was a head case, but he kept himself under control. Ellie had issues, but who didn't? Plus, she was infinitely better than Sean's last girlfriend. Sean didn't have to pretend to be anything he wasn't around her. I shuddered just thinking about having to spend any amount of time with Jay, Sean and Emma together.

Lunch was . . . well, it was lunch. I enjoyed the attention Jay was giving me in playful kisses and squeezes between serious car discussion, but I just wasn't that interested in their conversation. Plus, I think Jay went out of his way to insult Degrassi and school spirit at every opportunity. Like he was testing me. I didn't say anything, but it made me think. Was I content to just be Jay's arm candy or did I want someone I could talk to about what interested me?

Before I had noticed it, lunch was almost over. "Jay, babe, Paige is starting at the theater today. I have to give her the 'what not to do or I will kill you speech' before then, so I'll catch you later," I told him standing.

"Paige? And you?" He laughed.

"It's a long story," I retorted echoing his earlier words. I walked off, noting how quickly the table cleared behind me. Sean and Jay's conversation seemed to get a lot more intense immediately after everyone left. Interesting.

"Princess, hey," I said, dropping my bag on the bench across from Paige.

I noticed with some level of amusement how quickly her friends made excuses and disappeared. "Meeri call you?" It wasn't a question so much as a statement.

"Thanks, hun, for everything," Paige started in her condescending little voice. "I knew you'd see it my way, eventually."

I interrupted, trying to keep my anger level down. "Look, we can continue this little, whatever, we have going on or we can put it aside and work together. I made the first gesture. The next is up to you. And just so we're clear; we're co-workers. I am not your friend and I am not your 'hun.' Remember that and we'll get along just fine."

I walked out as the bell rang. The rest of school passed in a blur.

Work was my get away from stress. I know, I know, escape stress in a mall job? What was I, some So Cal valley girl? Listen before you mock, however. You just did as you were told, very simple things like fill popcorn buckets and count money. Your mind could wander where it wanted to and at the end you got paid. No choices, no drama.

Well, at least no drama prior to Paige's arrival.

The girl was just not cut out for manual labor. Or remembering things. Come to think of it what could she do well?

"Drinks need ice!" I commented as she started to fill up soda without any.

"Sorry," she replied. It was her knee jerk response to everything around here. Only the 137th time she'd said it in the past 2 hours. Not that I was counting.

Paige stood there watching it pour as our lines got longer. "While it's pouring…" I reminded not so gently.

"Uh Popcorn! Right. Sorry." As she tried to squirt butter into the tub she missed and it sailed onto the floor.

"I'll wipe it up!" I interrupted before she could bring the butter machine crashing down. It would be difficult, but I didn't doubt she was capable of it. "And don't say sorry!" I continued, watching the words die on her lips. Don't be sorry, do it right.

"Enjoy your show!" I heard her comment to the leaving customers.

'What's left of it,' I added silently. I took a deep breath. Had I been this bad my first day?

"Hi, can I interest you in a-" Paige paused mid-sentence and I moved over to the soda machine to see what had made her stop so abruptly.

It was her boyfriend and his lackeys.

"What are you doing?" she asked, her tone nervous. I looked up curious. This should be interesting.

"Well I'm here to support you in your first shift wearing man-made fibers." I glared at him. Like he was one to talk about fashion. Hadn't he worn that shirt, since, I don't know Grade 8? "And I want a large popcorn." Spinner continued.

Paige went to fill the order, only to be interrupted by Spinner. "Only! Could you stop half way for butter!" Special orders are for special people. Not 'special' as in those we care about, but 'special' as in the short bus.

She started to comply when he interrupted again. "Little more." The cycle repeated itself. "Just a bit more."

"Any more and you'll get grease stains on your pants honeybee." She retorted harshly. That was more like the Paige I knew. What I didn't understand was why his friends were just standing there, letting him be an ass. Especially Marco. I thought he was different.

'And that,' I told myself, 'is why I don't ever want to be popular. Honesty, good-bye!'

"Okay, so a quarter more popcorn," Spinner continued his inane directions, undeterred by Paige's snapping at him. I glared at him, trying not to slap the smug bastard. I may not like Paige, but no one deserved to put up with this jerk, let alone date him. "And a smidge of more butter!"

"Good girl." He complemented her as I would have a well-trained dog.

Finally one of Paige's so-called friends spoke up. "That's nice," Craig remarked. Although, I didn't think Craig was an expert on how to treat a girlfriend, I suddenly respected him a little bit more than I had a moment ago.

"No. It's good training," Spinner continued with the dog analogy as he walked away.

Still Paige said nothing.

Before long, the evening movie rush was over and we started cleaning up. I was wary of telling Paige to do anything, certain I'd have to re-do it myself, so I sent her to clean the table top outside the booth where we had napkins and condiments, far from anything expensive.

"Wanna check to see if I cleaned the nacho sludge thingy right?" She asked, interrupting my own counter wiping.

I opened the top and looked inside. Not perfect, but acceptable. "The fact that you, Paige, did it at all is amazing," I remarked. I hadn't meant for it to come out so condescending, but there it was.

Paige took it in stride. "No worse than clearing my brother's hair out of the bath tub," she smiled. Ah, yes. I think Dylan Michalchuk had more hair products than any male outside of Fabio.

I reached into the candy drawer and tossed her a bag of skittles. Paige was trying and that was worth a lot.

"Thanks," she said looking surprised.

I couldn't hold it in any longer. If I was going to work with her, I had to respect her a little at least. "Thought we hired you…not your boyfriend? Real sweet guy!" I commented. Coming from me, I'm sure she thought it was a bit rich. Jay could be an ass, but he treated me a hell of a lot better than what I had just witnessed. Usually.

"The jerk you just experienced is usually a little less of a jerk," she explained. I wanted to shake her. After everything that went down with Rick, Paige was last person I thought would let her boyfriend abuse her. Sure, he didn't hit her, but sometimes words hurt deeper.

As long as it was sharing time, I continued. "Not that I'd ever admit this but I used to be scared of you." It was true. Paige moved people around like pieces on her own little chess board. As much as I acted like I didn't care what people thought of me, I knew that wasn't entirely true. And Paige seemed like she could influence all of Degrassi some days. Most days.

Paige scoffed. "Please! I'm so not scary."

"No. You're a coward and a suck because if my boyfriend showed up here and treated me that way I'd be shopping for a new boyfriend." There. I got that off my chest. But as I returned to cleaning up, I realized that I didn't feel any better. Because it wasn't entirely true.

Jay treated me like an accessory most of the time. Not abusive, but not really attentive either. Just something that was there whenever he needed to release some tension and then recently pushed aside whenever a certain leggy blonde decided to grace us with her presence. And like a fool I had taken him back without even a real apology. So who was the real coward? Paige? Or me?