A/N: Okay, so I've read stories on this site before and just when things get good, someone's computer breaks or they go on vacation or have writer's block or something and you never find out what happens. I promise that will not happen. I will finish this story (I'm at the half way point right about now). But my laptop did break. So it might be a while between updates. Hopefully you will find the chapter that follows well worth the wait. (Your patience will be rewarded and what not, yada yada).
Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or Bad by Michael Jackson. If I did, I would have bought a new laptop and not be currently waiting 3-5 weeks for the old one. (btw, 3-5 weeks? Can't narrow it down a bit, guys? A two week window? Sorry, rant over.)
Thanks again to everyone who has taken the time to review. I'm glad no one thought the Jordan thing was a stretch. Having a flashback of Emma's near-sexual assault was the only way I could think of to make her next sentences and actions seem more credible (even if I didn't write them, the show did). And have no fear, Sean's POV is coming, it's just causing me headaches right now, so Toby might be finished first.
There are good ideas and there are better ideas. There are pranks that get you respect and pranks that get you suspended. I had to admit though, what Spinner, Alex and I had planned for the 'Whack Your Brain' competition was the perfect union of great idea and perfect prank.
It was fool proof. Which was good, considering that Spinner, a certified fool, was one of my accomplices.
I had fully intended to lay off of Rick like I had told Sean I would. Not because I was altruistic or anything, but because avoiding Emma was so much easier if you avoided Rick as well.
Spinner, however, had no such qualms about tormenting Rick, so recently I had found myself living vicariously through him. Who ever knew I would have something in common with a guy who until recently was dating the head cheerleader?
Yesterday all that changed. After school, Alex and I had discovered a giant X painted over the window of my car. All bets were off. It was on.
Flashback
"Babe, let's find Cameron and figure out how to get this stuff off before we do anything drastic," Alex said, opening the passenger side door of my poor, damaged civic.
"Why? So I won't get in trouble on school property?" I shouted back. I was getting tired of her Jekyll and Hyde routine between at school and off school. She shot me a hurt look and sat down in the passenger seat. I sighed. When did this relationship get to be such a drag? Granted the sex was still amazingly hot, but I missed the girl who always had my back.
I slid into the driver's seat and stared at the window. "Let's go find Cameron." I conceded, pulling out of the parking spot. We didn't have to go far; he was leaning over Spinner's car on the way out of the lot.
"You, too?" Sean asked as I parked the car in front of Spinner's.
"Somebody picked the wrong guys to mess with," I commented, slamming the door.
"Someone named Rick Murray," Alex commented showing up at my side.
I gave her a quick look. What happened to the 'let's not do anything drastic' Alex of a few moments ago? Oh, right, the parking lot was 'off school.'
At Rick's name, Sean looked away. "You guys are gonna want to get this off your clear coat before it ruins it."
Typical Sean. Avoid Rick because where Rick was, so too would Emma be. I ignored the little voice telling me lately I had done the same thing. Looking back at my window, it wasn't hard to convince myself that I had to go after Rick.
"Screw that. It's evidence. I'm telling Raditch," Spinner told him. As if Raditch would do anything.
"'I'm telling Raditch!' You don't think he's gonna want to know why Rick tagged you?" Sean mocked.
"Sean's right. Let's keep Raditch out of this," I said, motioning emphatically with my arm. Besides, it would be so much more fun this way.
"Buddy's going down. He's toast." Spinner had this weird smile on his face. He enjoyed tormenting others way more than was normal. I mean, I knew that it was necessary and, I'll admit, satisfying, too, at times, but in general, if people minded their own business I was content to let stuff go.
"Well, what are we waiting for?" I said, motioning towards the building. "Trivia boy's gotta still be around."
"Oh, yeah!" Spinner said, rubbing his hands together.
"I'm going to stop by the shop and see if Mr. Ehl's got anything that will help take that spray paint off gently," Sean said, taking off in the direction of shop.
I knew he would wuss out so I wasn't overly concerned. Can't say I blamed him. If I had just gotten off probation and was trying to make it on student welfare, I'd probably be a little more cautious, too. Ahh, who am I kidding? I wouldn't be any more cautious, I'd just be in jail by now.
"Alex?" I said looking right at her. It wasn't a test, but I could tell from the look she was giving me she thought it was.
"Let's go," she said, striding off.
I can't say I wasn't surprised, but in a good way. Spinner took off down the hall, followed closely by me, Alex trailing. She kept looking over her shoulder. Like Raditch didn't have better things to do with camera crews descending tomorrow than to stalk the student council VP.
Rick was nowhere to be found, but I spotted the next best thing up ahead. "Spinner, check it out, it's Isaacs!"
Spinner smiled. He had this weird thing about tormenting Isaacs, something to do with his little sister, but I didn't really care all that much. My mind was on one thing – finding Rick and getting revenge. Toby turned the corner, but we were right behind him. Of course, it helped that he stopped at the water fountain.
"Hey! Reject! Where's your friend!" Spinner asked, coming up behind Toby.
He lifted his head long enough to mutter, "As if I'm gonna tell you!" before returning to the water fountain.
Now I was getting smart ass comments from the binary geek? I had definitely let my rep slide lately!
"Hey! Weiner! He asked you a question!" I punctuated my sentence, with a smack to the back of Toby's head.
He held a hand up to his lip, which was now bleeding and I felt a moment of regret. Dammit, now Cameron's gonna be on my case. I replaced it with my customary smirk as I continued down the hall, however.
"Thought you were smarter than this," Spinner commented as we moved away.
We searched a few more hallways, but came up with no trace of Rick.
"Hey guys, let's give it up for now," Alex suggested. "Cameron's probably got the cleaning stuff by now and he seemed pretty emphatic about getting the paint off quick."
"You'd like that wouldn't you?" I muttered under my breath. Apparently not quietly enough.
"Look, you can't find him. Now we can stalk the halls for a while, or we can do this the smart way and plan ahead," Alex reasoned, more than a little pissed off at me.
"I'm listening," Spinner said, looking right at her.
"You all have been tossing him in dumpsters, pushing him into lockers and what's it got you?" Alex mocked. "You've got to do something that will really get to him. Hit him where it hurts."
"I like the way you think," I said, pulling her in for a kiss. Alex turned her head so my kiss landed on her cheek. I backed away. Fine. Two can play that game. "What's the most important thing to that loser right now?" I asked.
"Emma Nelson." Alex replied quickly, challenging me with her stare.
I started to say something about Sean getting pissed if we used Emma to get to Rick, but Spinner saved me.
"No way, dude. I've got this thing going with the lovely Manuela and her and Emma go way back, even if they're not speaking right now. I'm not going to let pay back on Rick screw that up. Leave Nelson out of it," Spinner argued.
"Fine," Alex said, crossing her arms across her chest, sulking.
"You're thinking too small, baby," I said, waving my finger. "Rick knows everything, right? King of all Trivia."
"So how are you going to make him forget things?" Spinner asked confused.
Seriously, was it possible that this guy had really only failed Grade 9 English and not every subject every year?
"And tomorrow the trivia game will be televised." Alex chimed in, coming around a bit. There's my girl.
"Exactly. The chance to embarrass him not only in front of the entire school, but all of Canada!" I explained.
"That's freakin' awesome!" Spinner exclaimed. "He won't wanna leave his house when we're done laughing, let alone try anything at school again. But how? Raditch is gonna have the TV show area on lock out."
I raised one eyebrow in Spinner's direction. "Lock out? You mean, lock down."
"Let me worry about that," Alex answered. "You boys handle the 'what' and I'll handle the 'how.'"
By that time we had reached my locker where Sean was waiting. He shoved a can of something at me. "Man, just rub a little of this on a rag and you'll be fine. I gotta catch up with Ellie." He said, starting to walk away. "Jay?" he asked turning around.
He indicated with his hand that he wanted a private word. "Sean, not in front of my girlfriend!" I leered, but I followed him down the hall.
He waited till we had turned the corner and turned to me. "You and I are cool, right?" he asked.
"Listen, if this about you wussing out about paying back that little jerk-off, then yeah, we're cool. It wasn't your car and I know you've got other stuff to worry about without getting caught." I sighed. "If we get caught tomorrow, you're clean."
Sean raised one eyebrow. "Get caught doing what?" He shook his head quickly. "You know what, never mind that. As much as I appreciate it, that wasn't what I meant. What did I tell you about Isaacs?"
"This is about your ex-girlfriend's nerd shadow? Are you kidding me?" I scoffed, but inside I was surprised that Cameron had found out so quickly. "Look, that little wimp needs to know how to respect authority."
He leaned closer, almost as if he was going to tell me a secret and the next thing I knew I was up against the lockers, his forearm pressed against my neck. "Cameron, chill, what's your deal?" Sean could go from cool to incredibly angry in about .7 seconds.
"I don't know what you did to Toby, man, but if I ever find out you were screwing with him again, I don't care how cool we are, I will hurt you," he whispered, his voice deadly serious.
"Yeah, yeah," I repeated, pushing him off of me. "Listen Cameron, save your big brother act for someone who cares. We both know who this is really about."
Sean looked like he was going to say something more, but instead turned and stalked down the hallway. I massaged my neck as I walked back to where Alex and Spinner were waiting. 'Ok-ay, in the future, stay away from the Princess' friends, too,' I told myself. I would have a stiff neck for at least a week. He had probably been waiting to do this since last week with the whole drunken fight thing. I pushed aside thoughts of what Cameron would have done to me if we had targeted Emma.
"What was that all about?" Alex asked.
"Just Cameron's hero complex," I replied. "Let's get out of here, shall we?"
We were walking back to the car when we ran into Rick and his trivia buddies, including, surprisingly, Spinner's best friend, Jimmy Brooks.
"Yo, Jimmy," Spinner acknowledged his best friend as if he had purposefully found Rick and brought him to us. "Hey, dog meat, you got something on your shirt!" He said pointing.
When Rick looked down, Spinner ran his finger up and flicked his nose. It was childish, sure, but sometimes the classics are best. I couldn't help the large smile that broke out across my face.
"That's just weak. Grow up," Jimmy said, looking right at Spinner. Could there be trouble in best friend paradise?
"Ooh . . . Ricky found a friend," Alex taunted. She may have meant Jimmy, but she was staring Emma down. Emma looked away.
"Give it a rest. It's boring," Jimmy said walking away. Emma followed quickly, then Toby and finally Rick. As they were walking away, Rick turned and made an X with his arms.
I couldn't believe it. Did the guy have a death wish? "Bad move freak," I said, nodding my head. Spinner and Alex just stared at his back, so I continued. "So Alex, you know how we were going to interrupt the game show? I think it would be even better if he wins first."
"From the best moment to the worst in less than a second," Alex mulled it over.
Spinner just shook his head. "Dude, what was up with Jimmy?"
"Umm, can you worry about your man-crush later? We need ideas," I told him.
"Look, I'm not gay." I shook my head to indicate 'whatever.' "What about like in Carrie when they dumped that bucket of pig's guts all over her?" Spinner suggested.
"Yeah, but then she went psycho and killed everyone," Alex pointed out.
"That's what made it a movie and not the news," Spinner replied. "People can't move stuff with their mind, anyways." He paused. "At least, I'm pretty sure they can't."
"Whatever. Like I said, you figure out what to drop on Rick's head; I'll make it happen," she reiterated walking away.
"Hey, babe, I thought you were going home with me?" I called after her.
"Not in the mood. You can clean your car off yourself!" she shouted.
Well, she was helping us, which was something. I guess asking her to be happy about it was just too much for the 'new' Alex.
Spinner and I hashed out details while working the spray paint off our respective doors, careful not to ruin our paint jobs. The real ones, that is.
We finally settled on yellow paint and feathers. Perfect for a chicken who could only hit our cars and then run. One could say he was smart, as either Spinner or I could easily take him in a physical confrontation, but taunting us while hiding behind new friends, Jimmy and Emma? Not smart. Not smart at all.
End Flashback
And so here I was now, waiting for Alex to escort Spinner and me to our specially marked chairs as part of the 'studio audience' for Whack Your Brain. If someone had told me earlier this week I'd volunteer to be in the audience for a trivia show involving Cameron's prude ex-girlfriend and her two dorky side kicks I'd have asked for a hit, as they were obviously smoking some good shit. But wonder of wonders, that was exactly where I found myself.
'It would have been forced down my throat on TV in first period anyway,' I rationalized. 'Plus seeing this 'chicken' thing in person will be so awesome!'
Alex, Spinner and I took our seats and almost at once the 'show' began. I tried desperately to find someway to keep myself amused in spite of the announcer's overbearing commentary. When the audience screamed "Whack Your Brain" all at once, I almost got up and left. It was pure torture, even if the pay off would be awesome, I wasn't sure anything was worth this.
Except at that moment I happened to lock eyes with Ms. Dolphin-safe Tuna. It was priceless how her eyes grew when she saw Alex, Spinner and I sitting there. I could hear the wheels turning in her brain as she tried to make sense of what she 'knew' about us and why we were there. Probably thought we were up to no good. 'Well, Emma, maybe you do know me, this time,' I laughed to myself.
From then on the game show was more fun as Emma struggled not to stare at me; in fact, she tried not to look in my general direction at all. I clapped at the appropriate moments, attempting to play the good little school cheerleader I was supposed to be. I even wolf whistled when she answered "Franz Ferdinand," her one contribution to the quiz show, causing her to blush, which definitely got Mr. Simpson's attention at least. Watching his over-protective father act was almost as big a riot as messing with Ms. Prude herself.
When the game show host announced the rules in case of a tie, I looked at Spinner, a stupid grin on my face. Could this be more perfect? Now if only they got the stupid question right.
"Bobby Jones?" Rick asked, nervously.
"Tie game! A short break. When we come back the final lightning round! Don't go anywhere!" The game show moron told us.
All this and a break. Someone up there obviously wanted this to happen. All blame was out of my hands now. It was fate.
I motioned Spinner out into the hallway and we retrieved the materials from his locker. "Your boy almost let me down, Gavin," I remarked.
"Umm, it's Spinner. And since when is golf a sport?" He shook his head, trying to get his stupid hair to stay out of his face.
"Well, with that Bobby Jones guy's help, Mr. Murray is going to get exactly what he deserves," I replied as we reached the boys restroom.
We laughed as we entered, finding Jimmy and Rick standing there.
"Hey man! That was so sweet. I mean, you're a know it all trivia machine," Spinner told Rick. I'll give him this: the guy can improv with the best of them. Without missing a beat, he acted like they were now the best of friends.
"This competition is money in the bank with my boy right here," Jimmy said, smacking Rick playfully on the stomach.
"Nice. Are you- are you doing the lightning round buddy?" I stumbled over the words. Fake sincerity was not my strong suit.
"Affirmative," Rick agreed wide eyed. The kid was so eager to please; it was far too easy.
"Probably better him than me right?" Jimmy commented as he left.
I looked at Spinner, trying not to laugh. You said it, Jim, not me.
Rick looked slightly nervous to be left alone with us and as tempting as it was to mess with him some more, we only had so much time during the break.
I indicated the door with my head. He didn't catch on, so I nodded at the door again. "We're cool, man," I told him.
Rick smiled as he left the bathroom and Spinner patted him on the back. Honestly, anyone who gets beat up as often as Rick you'd think would have a better bullshit sensor.
"Better him than me!" I repeated, laughing openly.
"Yeaahhh. Alright. You're sure Alex can set this up?" he questioned indicating the large jug of paint I pulled out of my bag.
"Dude the best part about dating the student council VP…nobody asks questions," I raised one eyebrow to prove my point, silently adding that it seemed lately like it was the only good part about dating the student council VP.
Within moments, everything was set and we returned to our seats just in time to watch the Northern kid I had affectionately dubbed 'the trivia midget' start the 30 most intense seconds of his virginal life.
As he finished, Alex gave me a smile and stood up. I have never seen Spinner grin so wide. I felt bad for like half a second, until I saw Rick lean over and whisper something to Emma that made her go all rigid. That freak needed to take it down a notch. And we had just the plan to help.
The 30 seconds that followed were the longest 30 seconds of my life as I waited for the big payoff. I couldn't tell which would be better, to have him fail and let his team down only to be splattered or to succeed and have his moment of triumph ruined. Either way, I would take it.
"Degrassi wins! Degrassi wins!" Mr. Phony Game Show exclaimed. I paused for a minute, unsure if Alex had had enough time before she retook her seat. A large smile slowly spread across my face, as yellow goop and then feathers rained from the sky onto Richard Murray, but I was careful to make sure I wasn't the first to laugh. Didn't want to be too obvious after all.
Soon I didn't have to worry about hiding my laughter as everyone, even the trivia midget was openly laughing.
Rick just lowered his head and walked out the door slowly. 'And that is why you don't ever get between a man and his car,' I thought satisfied.
"Hey, let's get out of here," Spinner said.
I nodded slightly, watching as Emma ran after the freak, face flushed.
"You coming?" Alex asked, harshly.
"I'll catch up with you," I told her, heading instead in the direction Emma had traveled, following my gut feeling that something was wrong. I walked slowly, my movement hindered by the other students that were now flooding into the halls, whispering and giggling in clusters. I wanted to shout 'MOVE IT!' in every direction, but I didn't want to call attention to myself. Whether we would get away with this whole thing was still somewhat up in the air and, while I wouldn't mind taking credit for this masterful plan, I didn't want to be serving detention the rest of my life. It was so much easier to skip the afternoon classes if you didn't have to worry about your 3 o'clock appointment.
Eventually I worked my way past the crowd, pausing at a juncture. Now which way would they have gone? If you had asked me why I was spending what should be the moment of my greatest triumph searching for the freak and the stuck-up princess I would have told you to screw yourself. Because the truth was, I couldn't explain it. I just had a feeling that Rick was not someone that anyone should be alone with right now. People do crazy things at the lowest point of their life. And I couldn't shake that image of Emma trying to play it cool as the psycho leaned over to whisper in her ear before the last round of questions.
"Rick! What are you doing!" I heard Emma scream. "Let go of me!" I moved quickly toward the direction of the sound, heart pounding. As much as she hated me, I would not let the freak hurt her.
As I started moving faster, not really paying attention, the person in question ran smack into me.
I tried to steady her so she didn't fall, my hands on both her arms. Keeping her at arms distance allowed me to do a quick once over, something I had all too much experience in the past. Look for damage imperceptibly so as not to injure stupid female pride. No noticeable bleeding or bruises, that was good. "Woah, where's the fire?" I asked trying to keep the situation light, considering I was pretty sure she still hated me.
Emma looked up at me, her eyes wide, like a frightened animal and she jerked back violently. "Don't TOUCH me!" She screamed. Yup, still hates me. I still got the touch. She managed to control her volume as she snarled at me, "I hope you're happy. With everything."
Everything? What did that mean? What had happened? "Emma!" I called as she ran down the hall and in to the girl's washroom. The paint and feathers I have to admit, did make me kinda happy. Even thinking about it right now made me smile. Not knowing what had caused Emma to totally flip out when someone touched her, less happy about that.
I moved down the hall in the direction Emma had come from. She was in no mood for sharing time, but I could always ask the freak. Plus if he was unwilling to talk, I could have fun convincing him, I thought, unconsciously cracking my knuckles.
Unfortunately, Rick was no where to be found and yellow paint footsteps indicated he had already run home to Mommy. "Have fun with Princess Priss?" a sarcastic voice behind me asked.
"Alex." I hated the way her name sounded coming from me now, like I was always apologizing. "I wanted to make sure she was okay. Rick did something, I don't know what, she wouldn't talk to me, but I heard her screaming."
Immediately Alex's face fell into something resembling concern. Alex concerned for Emma? This was new. Unreal, really. "She's okay, right?" Alex's voice was all wobbly. "I'd hate it if someone got hurt because of our prank war with Murray."
"Look at you, the big, bad, don't care about anyone girl going all jello on me," I joked. She didn't respond. Shit. "Look, she didn't have any visible marks and she still managed to shout at me, so it couldn't have been anything too serious," I tried to pull Alex in close, but she shoved me away. I was just having that effect on women today. "Look, nothing is going to happen."
Alex took a deep breath before she turned back and looked right at me. "You tell anyone I'm going soft and you'll regret it. I could still kick your sorry ass seven different ways."
"Damn straight," I said reaching to her hand, glad she was back to normal. Despite everything, it hurt me more than I could say to see Alex hurting. "Look it's almost lunch. How about you and I go out to my newly cleaned car and celebrate the perfect plan perfectly executed by the perfect couple."
"With the help of a complete moron," Alex laughed.
"True," I admitted. "But I don't feel like sharing today."
Alex hit me harder than was strictly necessary, but I didn't care. After an all-too-brief, steam the windows celebration, Alex persuaded me to go to class. Granted, she could have persuaded me to jump off the CN Tower at that moment with her, umm, talents, but a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell.
She had a point in saying skipping would make us look guilty. Sure enough as soon as we got to class, the TVs that had been used to broadcast our prank – I mean, the game show – were used to send us all a personal message from our 'pal' the principal.
I sat there tapping my pencil on my desk, staring at the back of Alex's neck and thinking about how amazingly sensitive she was, right under her left ear lobe and how much fun I could have with this information after school as Raditch droned on camera, "Twenty five years as an educator blah blah blah embarrassed blah blah blah ashamed blah blah found out and punished severely. More blah-ing and blah-ing. Thank you."
I resisted the urge to reply with my traditional "No, thank you!" comment like I do after morning announcements each day in first period. Remember, don't call attention to yourself. Of course, St. Jay would stick out just as much as would absent Jay, so I didn't let myself be too bored in class. I paid just enough attention to avoid detention and caused just enough trouble that I wouldn't fall asleep. Yup, it was thin line, but I walked it oh, so well.
Eventually the bell rang, signaling the next period. Alex found Amy waiting outside and I followed behind the two of them a respectable distance, bored out of my mind.
"Awww, Alex, I was good last class, can't I skip this one?" I whined like a child asking his mother for a special treat for good behavior, interrupting her best friend moment with Amy.
She scoffed at me and motioned for Amy to keep walking. When we were alone, she answered. "No, can do, buddy boy. Amy just told me that Spinner and Jimmy got in a fight while playing ball just now. Any guesses what about? Cause I have a few," she said, cocking her eyebrow.
"So you want us to have a talk before the idiot gets us all busted," I sighed, rubbing my hand across my forehead as if wiping the stress away. We had to team up with that moron? He made Towerz the mute look like a frickin' Mensa candidate.
"We just had to team up with that idiot," Alex echoed my thoughts.
"Yeah, well, we've got English next and Spinner had his with all the Grade 10's," I pointed out.
"Which is why you are going to find Spinner right now and tell him to cool it," Alex said, dusting off my shoulders. "There he is now. Go have fun." She shoved me in his direction, not so gently.
I was about to protest when Spinner spotted me. "Jay, hey!" he called out. Alex had disappeared. Damn, but that girl was good.
"Not here," I hissed turning to face Spinner.
"Jay, listen!" Spinner protested. Does that boy have any common sense? Was he really the bully in junior high? Guess if you were bigger than everyone else, you didn't need to be particularly bright.
I pushed open the door to the washroom Spinner right behind me. "Raditch knows man!"
I didn't respond, trying to register the sight before me. I was staring at the paint and feathers in the sink. Maybe Ricky hadn't gone home for the day after all. I followed the trail of paint and noticed that Rick was still there, in a stall, listening.
"About Jimmy? Yeah I'm surprised nobody's figured it out yet," I said unnaturally loudly and slowly, trying to clue Spinner in. Damned if I was going to confess to Rick.
"Dude!" Spinner looked at me like I had lost my mind and gestured accordingly. Rolling my eyes, I grabbed him and pointed at Rick's yellow shoes. Must I do everything in this operation?
"Yeah, Jimmy set the whole thing up perfectly. The way he got all those easy sports questions wrong," I sat back and folded my arms against my chest. In one fell swoop we could get Raditch off our cases and destroy Jimmy's credibility. No one would believe Jimmy if he tried to reveal what Spinner had confessed now. Everyone would think he was just trying to cover his own tracks. And what was Rick going to do about it? Brilliant, I know.
Spinner smiled his 'I'm special' smile. "Yeah and made sure uh psycho boy was all alone in the final round," he continued, trying not to laugh.
I smiled too, pleased at the way events had turned out. I told Alex we had nothing to worry about. I was prepared for any contingency. "Never would have happened without a man on the inside!"
I shoved Spinner towards the door and we left. No use overdoing a good thing. Alex was waiting at the door to our history class.
"So?" She asked pointedly.
I just smiled and leaned in for a kiss.
After an all too short face sucking, Alex broke away and looked at me expectantly. "Care to fill in the details, lover boy?"
I loved that husky voice she got after I had kissed her senseless. "Let's just say, I dealt with the situation, okay?" I was vague on purpose. After all a true magician never reveals all his secrets and I had been beyond a magician just now – I was a frickin' miracle worker, to put it modestly. Cause modest was the first word everyone would use to describe me, as you well know.
We took our seats as our history teacher, Mr. Preno, droned on. Something about World War II. Compared hysteria over Japanese bombing Pearl Harbor to current post 9/11 hysteria in the United States. Yeah, yeah, yeah, catastrophic world ending paranoia, blah! I found it hard to listen to anything the guy was saying, I was so impressed with the fact that we were going to get away with this morning's activity, in spite of Spinner's confession. I mean, the payback aspect was nice, but actually not having any fallout or consequences was beyond amazing.
Despite my confidence in our overwhelming triumph, I couldn't help but flash back to my run in with Emma earlier. Any guilt or remorse I might have felt for the trivia king of the world had been squashed immediately as I looked at the fear in her eyes. It reminded me of the last time I had spoken to her, our run-in outside the computer lab last week.
For a moment I paused, feeling unsettled. A thought drifted into my mind, that perhaps she hadn't been afraid of Rick after all. Maybe she had been afraid of me?
I shook that feeling away. I had heard her scream at Rick. I'm sure that Emma Nelson didn't have exactly warm feelings where I was concerned, but she wasn't afraid of me.
Yet I still felt uneasy, like something wasn't right.
I jumped when I heard the sound from the hallway, right outside the door to our classroom. It sounded like a car backfiring, but cars backfiring weren't normally accompanied by screams of anguish. Gun shots were.
I jumped out of my seat and put myself between Alex and the door, not really thinking about what I was doing, but tense, prepared to deal with whatever happened next.
"Get under your desks!" Mr. Preno shouted.
There was a pause, then a frantic rush, as students scrambled to follow his directions. I stood still facing the door, defiant.
"Mr. Hogart, now!" I heard Mr. Preno command. I felt a tug on my hand and looked down.
Alex was pulling me under the desk her eyes wide. I crouched next to her and took her into my arms, her back against my chest. We didn't do mush often, but this wasn't really a time to worry about keeping up appearances.
"Jay, do you think that, maybe it was Rick?" Alex whispered.
A vision of Emma Nelson lying on the hallway floor bleeding came unbidden to my head and I had to fight every instinct to run into the hallway right then. Alex was still holding my hand, though, gripping it like it was her life-line and I just held her tighter.
"There are over 700 students that go to school here, Lexy. Any one of them could have snapped," I told her, trying to convince myself.
Alex nodded, color slowly returning to her pale face. "You're right. And I'm pretty sure Rick went home after everything."
I didn't correct her, too caught up in the horror movie playing over and over in my brain. Rick taking it to the next level, shooting Emma; interspaced with images of my father beating my mother and then bringing out a gun . . .
Mr. Preno interrupted my thoughts, thankfully. "I'm going to go out there."
"NO!" One of the girls who sat in the front screamed.
"Jennifer, calm down. I need to make sure everyone's alright," Mr. Preno said calmly, walking to the door.
I knew everyone wasn't alright. Someone was lying in that hallway, I was sure of it. I just hoped it wasn't anyone in any way connected to me.
When Mr. Preno looked through the window and drew in a quick breath, I knew I was right. He looked both ways for signs of danger.
"Do any of you have a cell phone?" He asked, before opening the door.
"I do," a guy in the back, Travis volunteered.
"Call 9-1-1. Get an ambulance here," and with that he darted out into the hallway.
A girl in front, maybe Jennifer, I wasn't sure, started crying quietly, trying to stifle her tears. As the door opened I saw a glimpse of shoes. Basketball shoes. Far too large to belong to Emma Nelson.
I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding.
"Spinner was playing basketball outside," Alex whispered, her voice soft. So Alex had seen that, too. Instantly I was on edge again. If Rick had gone after Spinner, I was probably next. I couldn't let him get to Alex.
'Slow down, Hogart,' I told myself. 'You don't know that's Spin out there.' I tried to remember what color Spinner's shoes had been when I talked to him in the bathroom. I had looked at his shoes, right? I stopped for a moment, to appreciate the ridiculousness of that question. Who memorizes the shoe color of every person they talk to in a given day?
"Well, better him than me," I muttered, unconsciously quoting Jimmy from earlier that day.
Alex looked at me as if she had never seen me before. I felt her slowly withdraw her hand from mine and pull away.
"How can you say that?" She asked.
"Because I'm honest." I was too wound up to be angry. "Would you prefer I say I wish I took a bullet for him? Cause actually I'm rather glad to be safe and whole right now."
Raditch came over the loud speaker at that moment, telling all students to stay in their classrooms with their doors locked until otherwise told. 'Lockdown protocol' he called it. "Remain in your classrooms until further notice. Absolutely no one is to leave. Refer to lockdown protocol. And please remain calm."
Calm. The idea was so ridiculous that I laughed. Many of my classmates turned to stare or glare at me. "What?" I glared right back.
Mr. Preno came back into the classroom, his hands and arms now covered in blood. "Travis, may I use your phone?" He asked, trying vainly to wipe one hand free.
"Sure," Travis gulped.
Mr. Preno spoke softly into the phone, but every single one of us had our ears open and heard every word spoken. "We have a student down, 16 year old male. I don't know how many others. The injured student indicated one gunman. Rick Murray. I think he acted alone, but I can't tell. We need EMTs in here, as soon as you can. Yes, yes. Okay."
Mr. Preno handed Travis back his phone and smiled grimly. "Thanks."
He stepped back into the hall, making sure the door locked tightly behind him. People filtered out from under their desks to sit in chairs, some trying not to cry, everyone startled and afraid.
I tried to think of anything to stop the thoughts cycling again and again. I knew Rick had anger management issues, but I pushed him. I bullied him because I was afraid of what I had almost done to Emma, not what he had done. What if that was Spinner out there? What if it wasn't? Had I set in motion events that may have killed someone?
No – I forced those thoughts from my head. 'That way madness lies.' Yes, I, Jay, was quoting Shakespeare. If that wasn't a sign that something was rotten in the state of Denmark, I don't know what would be.
The next hour seemed like the longest of my life, alternating between deep feelings of guilt and thinking ahead on how to get out of this. Whether it was my fault or not, it was done and there was no sense being punished for it now and then again later from karma, or going to hell, or whatever suitable religious consequence you believed in. Alex still wouldn't talk to me and I was frankly too wrapped up in my own head to really give a damn.
"The lock down is over. Please wait to exit your classrooms until a designated school official opens the door for you. Please head straight home. Do not stop at your lockers; do not loiter around. We recommend you not speak to reporters," Raditch droned as a man with a rather large gun let us out of our classroom. So that's what he meant by 'designated school official.' I had a momentary panic, but pushed it aside.
Alex and I were two of the first people out. We were standing next to each other, yet worlds apart. She stared at the gun, seemingly transfixed.
Well, that didn't look suspicious. I took her by the shoulders and steered her away. I had to get her home, whether she was talking to me or not. "Just relax. Everything's gonna be fine."
"Why did I go along with all this?" She muttered. I assumed that was rhetorical. After all, it's not like anyone had twisted her arm. She was all too willing to participate at the time, but now that stuff had gone down, she was a wreck.
"I said relax! You're alive aren't you?" My voice was harsher than I intended, but Alex refused to see the big picture. Both of us were still breathing which is something that maybe not everyone would be able to say tonight. I saw a familiar horrid haircut and breathed a big sigh of relief. Only one person's hair looked that bad. "Yo, Spin! I thought that might have been you!" I placed my hand on his shoulder, my personal 'glad you're okay' gesture.
Spinner just looked at me, guilt written all over his face. "It was Jimmy man! Jimmy! They're gonna find out. I have to –"
"No!" I grabbed at him desperately, unsure if I was protesting his ratting us out or trying not to acknowledge our earlier conversation in the washroom had happened. I cast a panicked look around the halls before pulling Spinner into a side entrance. "You have to shut up, okay?"
"He's my best friend." Spinner protested. Which is why you sucker punched him on the basketball court, right? I wanted to bring that up, but I held my tongue – somewhat.
"Either outcome I would say he was your best friend," I told him. There was nothing to be gained by confessing, as Jimmy already knew we were behind the prank. All that would do was get us was in a lot of trouble.
"We might have killed him!" Spinner protested. Seriously, could he say that any louder with G.I. Joes stalking the halls everywhere? I looked over my shoulder before pushing against him hard.
"We didn't do anything," I insisted. Maybe if I said it often and loudly enough I would believe it.
Spinner shoved me roughly away. "We did!" He stalked away and I stared after him, afraid of what it would mean to admit he was right.