Part 2, or I know this sucks but read it anyway.
Disclaimer - All things Doctor Who-ish belong to the amazing BBC, really you guys don't get enough credit.
Rating - um. I don't entirely get this random American rating thing. It's rated a fifteen in my opinion. That means there are adult themes, some mild swearing, mild nudity and references to (but not actual) sex. Not to be read before the 9 o'clock watershed.
Spoilers- None.
Summary - The idea was funny. Then it mutated, as these things do.
Author's note - denotes flashback/scene change. Set after the end of the new series, but completely ignoring the regeneration because, let's be frank, it should NOT have happened. Oh, and if you like it, why not review? Think of all the calories you'll burn, and the healthy exercise your fingers will get as you tap the keyboard. Think of how useful being able to type is, and how much practice you could get by reviewing. Think about how much you liked my story, and how you want to tell me so. And if you didn't like it, tell me why. I'm dying of curiosity.
Oh, and sorry guys, no smut. I said No! (If you want it, you can write it.)
"Breakfast, lover-boy." A smirking Jack deposited three plates piled high with some sort of fried grain stuff, and was rewarded with a ferocious glare.
"What part of the words 'Never speak about this to anyone, ever, on pain of serious pain' didn't you understand?" The Doctor grumbled in tones of slightly hungover menace. Jack shrugged.
"There's no need to take it so hard-"
"Whose taking what now?" Rose mumbled blearily as she wandered in brushing her hair.
"Nothing" the Doctor snapped, and reached for one of the plates. Rose sat down with a sigh.
"You know," Jack mumbled through a mouthful of breakfast. "I bet this place is really expensive." The Doctor shrugged non-committally.
"So." Jack tried again, after another long embarrassing silence. "Where to next?" Rose looked up sharply and winced.
"Somewhere quiet." She suggested, and looked at the Doctor. "Where can we go that's quiet?"
"Earth?" He mentioned casually, not paying attention. Jack grinned enthusiastically and Rose groaned.
"God, my mum's gonna kill me." The Doctor looked at her in slight alarm.
"You're not going to tell her." He stated flatly, and hoped. Rose shook her head.
"Doesn't matter. She's got, like, radar or sumthin. She'll know." Jack beamed.
"I'd like to meet your mom! It'll be great!" the Doctor gave him a disbelieving look and decided to ignore him.
"I guess we should probably get moving then. Before they present us with the bill." He added, looking meaningfully at Jack's highly piled plate. Jack nodded.
"Earth it is, then. Sounds like fun." He grinned brightly at Rose and the Doctor's less than cheerful faces, then shrugged and went off to pack.
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The TARDIS seemed somewhat reluctant to open the doors for some reason, and the Doctor frowned at he display panel thoughtfully. One of the problems with having an intelligent, telepathic ship was that occasionally she decided that she knew best and this appeared to be one of those times. A quick check of the location display showed that, no, they weren't on Earth. Or anywhere near. The TARDIS had, inexplicably, dropped them off on the third asteroid of Nagele in the latter part of the nineteenth century. The whole Nagele system was renown for technological advances in many fields, including space travel and engineering. Maybe she needed repairs?
Jack jumped into the control room, closely followed by Rose, and the Doctor wondered for the nth time why he could never just walk anywhere. No he always had to make an entrance, just to make sure everyone was looking.
"What's up Doc?" Jack smirked at him as he sighed theatrically and rolled his eyes.
"Bit of a location problem." He admitted, pointedly speaking to Rose. She frowned at him.
"You mean we're not on Earth." she said disappointed as the Doctor shook his head and Jack deflated a bit. "Where are we, then?" The Doctor shrugged.
"Third asteroid of the Nagele system, don't ask me why. The TARDIS just dropped us here."
"Why?" The Doctor shrugged.
"No idea. But if you wanted to find out, you could take a look outside." Rose nodded her agreement and strode up to the doors. Which opened happily, as if there had never been a problem with them in the first place. The Doctor tapped the console surreptitiously.
"Behave." He muttered to the obstinate machine. Jack grinned at him but wisely decided not to say anything.
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Outside was everything he'd expected. Tall concrete-like buildings, decorated in exciting new styles that would, in just a few years, look extremely tacky and horrendously out of date. They looked slightly Art-Deco, with perhaps a hint of Gothic. The Doctor actually rather liked them.
The streets were almost empty – it was mid-afternoon and all the important people were at work. On Astro3 everyone worked, regardless of age or health. But then, everyone was healthy, even the very old. They had one of the best health services he'd ever seen, and the most consistent work ethic. Even their council worked most hours and all days.
Rose seemed quite taken with some of the more impressive architecture, although she would keep stopping in inopportune places to admire it. After the fourth time he hauled her out of the way of one of the cities frequent transport vehicles she finally started to pay some attention to where she was going. Jack swaggered as if he owned the place, as usual.
The Doctor wasn't at all sure what he was looking for, and was quite grateful that neither Rose nor Jack thought to ask him about it. He'd been hoping that there'd be a nice obvious sign, something like 'timeships repaired while you wait'. A vague nudge from his Timelordly intuition had him looking around warily but it was Rose who spotted it first. One of the less decorative, less impressive buildings, with a quite smallish sign on the front advertising it's status as an exclusive music club. It wasn't much to look at, really, not very interesting unless you read the graffiti that someone had scrawled across one corner. It was faded and worn, but he could just make out the Nagelish runes that translated directly as 'disobedient pack-hunting-beast'. Or, put another way, Bad Wolf. Again.
Rose nudged him again.
"What do you think it means?" she sounded nervous, and he could see why. He shrugged, affecting a casual attitude that he couldn't really afford.
"I guess this is where we should be, then." Jack didn't sound too pleased either. The Doctor nodded.
"I guess so. It's worth remembering," he added, looking at the two very worried faces "It was the TARDIS that brought us here. Nothing else" Rose agreed reluctantly.
"I suppose. I just don't feel too great about it." The Doctor nodded and sighed inwardly. His own intuition wasn't terribly happy about it either. The future didn't look too dangerous, but it didn't look terribly good either.
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much more accurate than women's intuition, seeing as how they can see the future (or at least, the way the future should go) most of the time.
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Strains of hauntingly familiar melodies wound through a haze of slightly greasy smoke, and the Doctor remembered that the Nagelish liked to make the most of their infrequent time off. A smartly dressed humanoid-type native asked for their tickets and nodded his head over the telepathic paper the Doctor and Jack showed him. The Nagelian, slightly blueish with embarrassment explained hesitantly that due to an unfortunate outbreak of cooties in the city they had to enter through a static biofield. Jack nodded cheerfully and the Doctor quietly explained to Rose that a static biofield detected changes in the EM field of living organisms that heralded the onset of disease, and that 'cooties' was just the TRADIS' telepathic field trying to translate the alien disease's name.
Jack strode confidently through the field, waving as he reached the other side but Rose baulked. It looked like a cube of blue glass, fizzing slightly as the smoke drifted through it, and made her feel slightly nervous as she stared at it. The Doctor gave her an encouraging smile, but couldn't quite manage his usual ear-to-ear grin. Something didn't seem quite right. It wasn't dangerous, of course. Not at all, he was absolutely certain of that. But he felt terribly nervous, and almost, excited? Something odd was going on, he was sure. The future suddenly seemed a very uncertain place indeed.
Rose stepped into the field with a vague feeling of apprehension, which doubled when changed colour to an alarming orange and made a warning bleeping sound. She spun around to see alarm flash briefly across the Doctor's face, to be almost entirely replaced by a fake reassurance that worried her even more.
"What? What is it?" The alien doorman was poking at a console type thing which then projected a sort of screen into midair. She squinted trying to see it but it was at an angle to her and she couldn't make it out. She could see the Doctor's face, though, and he didn't look happy.
"See, there? And here, too I think." The Nagelian pointed at the screen and the Doctor obediently leaned closer, trying to see.
"What is it?" The doorman gave the Nagelish equivalent of a shrug.
"It looks like a parasite. Nasty things. Definitely not cooties though, I suppose you should be thankful." Jack walked round to have a look.
"What is it?"
The Doctor frowned at it. "I don't know."
"Definitely a parasite." The Nagelian interrupted, prodding the screen. "See this? Siphoning nutrients off. Strange little thing, isn't it?" Jack shook his head.
"I can't see. Where is it?" The Nagelian pointed and Jack stood staring at it quietly. The Doctor shook his head at it.
"Never seen anything like it." He thought for a moment longer, then shook his head. Jack continued to stare.
"I dunno," He said thoughtfully "It does remind me of something."
Rose had had enough. She marched back out of the field angrily and stomped up to the screen. And stopped.
"oh." The Doctor turned to look at her.
"Cheer up!" He managed a grin. "Guy here says it's just a parasite, you'll be fine!" Rose shook her head, her eyes never moving from the screen. Jack shrugged at her.
"Told you you should keep sampling the local cuisine. I'm sure I've seen something like it before." he added thoughtfully. Rose continued to stare.
"And neither of you know what that is?" She managed eventually. The Doctor and Jack shook their heads. She swallowed. "Uh, maybe you should sit down." she thought about that for a moment and shook her head. "Maybe I should sit down." The Doctor opened his mouth to speak, a puzzled expression on his face but before he could the Nagelian let out a sudden gasp.
"Look at this! Just look at it!" his finger stabbed at the screen and the picture magnified itself. "See That there? That's the strangest thing I've ever seen! Amazing!" Jack glared at the alien angrily:
"Could you maybe be a bit more sens-" and the Doctor interrupted him.
"What. Is That." hi finger stabbed the screen and it magnified again. The Nagelian grinned in discovery.
"It's got a terribly advanced neuro-lymphatic system for it's size, and just look at those somatic-" The Doctor tapped the screen again and the doorman obediently leaned closer. "I, uh. Gosh, it's got a well-developed cardio-vascular system, doesn't it? Very odd. I mean, why in the universe would something that size need two-" Rose coughed.
"Can we go home now?" The Doctor nodded slowly and Jack looked from one to the other in consternation.
"Did I miss something?" They ignored him and set off, presumably back to the TARDIS, to the great disappointment of the doorman. Jack stared at the screen for a moment longer and a broad smirk spread slowly across his face.
"Hey, Doctor, wait up!" He caught up easily, and grinned at the two of them, both still shell shocked. "So, thought of a name yet?"
The doorman was left to reset the field, grumbling as he did so about parasites and discoveries, and the huge amounts of money to be made by registering newly discovered disease organisms. The screen continued to replay the last few seconds of video before Rose had left the field, and the doorman watched the strange creature's two hearts beating for a while before he remmebred that, as a doorman, he really should be watching the door.
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That's it, but there may be more. I have many fun ideas.