Dedicated to Kami. Because my drunken ass cannot fathom updating while I'm, half conscious. and lizzy, I am going to kick her ass.

Chapter 19:

Michael was alone inside the hospital, it was night time and it was cold.

But he was dreaming, as he always was, and smiling because in his dreams he was happier.

And if death was like this, he just might let go altogether.

But anyways, back to the dream

Robert and him sat there, swinging their legs back and forth and looking and throwing pebbles in the lake to see who could throw the farest.

So far Robert was winning.

He shoved him," Robby, you have to be cheating some how"

Robert shook his head," No…here…" He said, handing him his lolly pop," I'll show you how" He took his hands in his and guided them," Just pull back" He murmured, pulling slightly," And realease, over and over again…okay?"

"Okay" Michael nodded.

He woke up.

That dream was stupid, but that's why he liked it, because it was stupid. Because he was beginning to like Robert more and more…

And Jake as well.

Jake turned around and looked at Alex, who writing in his notebook furiously and concentrating on some sort of formula for math or science homework, but it didn't matter, he got up from the desk, in front of the whole class, crossed over and hugged him.

Dead in the middle of class.

"Whar are you doing?" Alex murmured as Jake hugged him, classmates looking on in interest.

"I don't know, I just wanted to hug you…" Jake trailed off," I owe you Alex…"

"Owe me what?"

"Everything" Jake murmured, letting go. He stared at him sadly," I just owe you everything…"

Marco paced around in the room that him and Ryan shared, nervously biting his nails and wondering and wishing and replying the whole senario over and over in his mind and --

Christ, he wore a hole in the carpet.

There was someone in the bathroom that was connected to the room, probably Robert, because he was about to go out and visit Michael again to make sure he was okay. Marco glanced at the clock: 9:30. It was getting pretty dark and he just realized that he had school tomorrow now that vacation was over, so he pulled off his shirt and flipped off the lights and crawling into bed, dull features; sleepy eyes.

Just as he was about to finally sleep there was another noise, and since everything that had been happening in his life lately, his paranoia had been upped by at least 4 notches, he got up, streaching because he was indeed getting out of shape and nervous, and walked over to the closet and opened it to find nothing.

Breathing in and out he sighed when someone asked out, somewhat timidly " What are you doing?"

Startled, Marco jumped and fell backwards, right into the towel, and towel only clad Ryan. To say that it was an uncomfortable moment was an understatment and the contact of the two made them both flash back to their first time really meeting. Marco remembered it fondly, the car exploding, the whole "Dropping the towel" senerio and the shower scene just to top the cake. It made him giddly gently, but then remembered the also and equally upsetting conversation that had taken place days ago and therefore, pushed away.

But Ryan didn't let go.

"Ryan…" Marco trailed off, confused as usal. And you know, he was getting utterly tired of being the bitch in the relationships. Lets face it, he knew it, he was Dylan's bitch. Laugh it up, he was a stutterly, clumsy sterotype fairy with no idea of sports, a fashion slut and yes, he danced to the weather girls. And he was tired of feeling giddy and happy in front of girls and blushing madly and hidng his face behind magazines with boys.

He was tired of getting bashed.

And he was so tired of having sudden emotional outbursts at the most inappropriate moments!

"Ryan…"He tried again, in the dark, confused and scared.

"Marco…" Ryan trailed off and it hit a note in Marco's mind, the insecurity, the confusion. The thought that Ryan was just as nervous as he was made Marco madly joyful and he was tempted to do the snoopy dance right then and there but then Ryan began to talk again so he silenced himself. " Marco…I'm sorry about what happened…you know, Pete didn't really mean it, Pete is just being…"

"Pete" Marco replied, still being held and nodding.

"And I am….uhh…" Ryan trailed off.

He hadn't painted anything in a while.

"You're what?" Marco questioned, eyebrows arched and lips coyly upturned at the corners.

"Confused" Ryan ran a strained hand through his hair, it was amazing that it still hurt after all this time.

Marco nodded, not talking, just waiting for him to finish.

"I am…" Ryan stopped, bit his lip," Hey, do you want some champange…?"

"So you can drunkenly molest me again?" Marco teased but when Ryan's face paled he remembered that they were still in the awkward phase and decided to go with a casual " Yeah, that'd be nice" instead.

As Ryan swept the hair out of his eyes, pulled out a pair of glasses and poured some champagne, in the dark mind you, because they were so good at it, Marco eyed him contently and smiled, because you know, on some level Marco always knew that he did own Ryan.

He owned somebody for once, and it felt good.

Yeah, he owned Jake…but that'd be incest and he was getting deafly bored of these rather drawled out incestuous themes that were being thrown his way.

"Marco I--" Ryan tried again, turning around and handing him his glass when Marco hastily got up, smacked the glass out of his hand, shoved him onto the bed and climbed in on top of him. " Ma- Mar-" Ryan stuttered out as Marco ran a tongue over his lips and smirked because something had been made clear right then and there:

Ryan was his bitch.

And as Marco stared at him in the darkness, moon like eyes glowing and pale skin shining away he also remembered one thing, that made him bitterly angry, resentful and somewhat happy, in a sick way. He was beginning to understand how Jake felt with Michael.

Not to the extent of Marco slapping Ryan down the steps, he could never do that, or…stab him, or cause a mental breakdown, or hit him with a bat, or kick him, cut him, or in anyway hurt him and - damn if he does say so himself, Jake has fucked Michael in all the ways incept for the good one- but the way of having control.

Make Ryan roll.

Make Ryan jump.

"Mar- Marco?" Ryan stuttered ever so slightly, squinting at the other in the darkness, Marco's weight making him sink into the mattress. " You're crushing me…"

"Nonscence" Marco shook his head, not moving.

"I can't…breathe…" Ryan gasped, his breaths becoming shorter.

Marco kissed him soundly, full on lips, not their subtle semi straight playing around bullshit kisses. So Ryan blinked and suddenly, his breath had came back. As Marco looked at him, wondering what to do next, like potty train and or make Ryan roll over…a trick all good boys learn in time, Ryan suddenly moved forwards, accidently hitting Marco in the rather sensitive regions and making him groan out in pain before rolling over and hitting the floor.

"Marco!" Ryan yelled, looking on the floor," I'm so sorry…"

"Oh…" Marco moaned out.

The mood was gone.

But Ryan, since hanging around Marco had made him ridiculously clumsy, slipped on the edge of the bed and landed ontop of Marco this time and laughed, because Marco was already blue in the face and that just added onto his anger and snorted this time.

"Why does this always happen with us?" Ryan asked, cocking his head to the side and burrying his face into Marco's chest.

"I'll tell you…" Marco took a pained and over exaggerated gasp," As soon as I get the feeling in my nuts"

Okay...BEWARE OF CHAPTER 20 FOR IT BREATHES ALL OF THE PLOT FOR THE FINAL SEQUEL1! Also, christ, I live on live journal too much! Love you! ALL. LIKE! Something unnatural!