"Who dares enter?" boomed a voice deeper than the munchkin's. A giant floating head peered down at them. "Ah, a lady! Would you care to bare my child?" Kagome was frozen, but the Inu-lion screamed a string of curses at the head.
"OH YOU PERVERT!" There was a loud smacking noise and the curtain behind the head swung back to reveal a smiling Sango and Miroku, who was on the ground nursing a large bump on the top of his head.
"Pay no attention to the lecher behind the curtain. How can we help you?" No one moved.
"Brain?" asked Ryu-crow. Kagome burst into tears and fell to her knees.
"Oh no, what's wrong?" cried Sango before rushing to her side.
"Wh-why is everything in my head so fucked up?" she wept. Miroku stopped twitching and got to his feet before walking up to the Inu-lion.
"I'm the mo…er…Wizard of Oz. What do you need?"
"Courage, give it NOW!" growled the Inu-lion. Miroku blinked.
"You don't seem like you need any."
"Really? Alright! Now I can become a full-demon!" he leapt happily onto the mechanical head.
"How'd you do that?" sniffled Kagome.
"Oh, I just told him the truth."
"Brain." Miroku turned to Ryu-crow. "Brain," it repeated.
"Hmm…my dear scarecrow, you do have a brain. You're just very quiet." Ryu-crow considered this for a moment, then slithered out with a proud look on its face.
"Hearsh?" Tin-kotsu looked hopeful.
"Why not! Hold still a moment!" Miroku opened Tin-kotsu's empty chest and produced something from his robes. It landed in Tin-kotsu with a "plop!"
"Thanksh," said Tin-kotsu before clanging out. Sango stared at Mrioku.
"Is that what I think it is?"
"If you think it's the trash from behind the mechanical head, then yes. I just wanted to get rid of them. Now young lady, I wish to speak with you." Kagome nodded and finished wiping her eyes. Sango gave her one more pat on the back and shot Miroku a warning glance before helping her stand.
"I wanna go home. I don't remember this movie well enough to live here forever." Miroku nodded thoughtfully.
"I'm afraid that's a power I don't possess," he sighed.
"Nor do I," said Sango. Inu-lion hopped down from the mechanical head.
"Who are you anyway?" he asked.
"Oh, she's my-mmph!" Sango clapped her hands over Miroku's mouth.
"No spoilers!" she hissed.
"You are both very stupid. Kagome has always had the power to return home." Nar-glinda descended in his…its pink bubble.
"I have? Then why'd you send me here?" spat Kagome.
"It amused me," said Nar-glinda.
"Well, how do I get home then?"
"Just spin your bow three times and say, 'there's no place like Sengoku Jidai'." Kagome nodded angrily and spun the bow.
"There's no place like Sengoku Jidai, there's no place like Sengoku Jidai, there's no place like Sengoku Jidai…"