Ok I am going to try and update this story more often, but no guarantees on that. I have been thinking of new chapters ever since I stopped updating so I will hopefully get more in.

Also thank you to everyone who has reviewed my story and liked it. That makes me very happy!

Also this chapter will be a describing chapter about her notebooks.

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha Rumiko Takahashi does.

Kagome had three notebooks that were very important to her. She had been writing in these notebooks since she was twelve and she felt that it made her be her. Each notebook had a maximum of one hundred pages that she filled up very quickly. Kagome's finished notebooks would go into a box at the top of her closet for her to read and remember what went on in her life so far. So far Kagome didn't even know how many notebooks she had, all she knew is she had over 10 boxes of notebooks. The reason being is that she wrote in two notebooks everyday and the last one only on occasion. A couple years back Kagome remembered her teacher ask her if she could save one of her material possessions if a fire occurred which one would it be. Unlike the other kids who said their favorite toy or video game, Kagome said her notebooks.

The first notebook was where she would take time early in the morning when she first woke up to write what she felt the day would bring. This notebook was filled w/ all the happy things she was thinking and feeling. Hardly ever was there a sad thought in the notebook. All of her hopes and dreams for happiness during the day were poured into that notebook. Her feelings when writing in that notebook, was always pure and clean. No bad thoughts or sadness. An example would be:

Dear journal,

This morning feels extremely special. When I go to school today everyone I know will wave to me and say good-morning and I will be picked first for PE. At lunch I will get first in line and get the special dessert before they run out of it. Nobody will be mean and tease me, no one will pour anything on my head or leave something on the floor for me to slip on. I wont be invisible today I will be popular and beautiful and everyone will see the real me. Boys will like me and ask me on dates and girls will ask to be my friend. Today will be the most perfect day of my life!

The journal entry was her special little pep talk for the day. Everything was always good in those pages. It explained her perfect day and how her imaginary self lived. This notebook was always hidden somewhere where nobody could find it. The place was between the back wall and her bookcase. After writing in that book the day seemed a little brighter. Even though Kagome herself knew that the expectations for the day were a bit much she still felt like writing them.

The second notebook was her dream notebook. In this notebook Kagome wrote the dreams she had the previous night. Some entries were about sad dreams and some were happy ones. Most of the dreams she had was of her floating away and never sinking back to earth. In those dreams she had wings that stretched out far and begged for her to go higher. The wings would take her to the stars beyond the clouds. Out into the emptiness of space and farther still until all she felt was the darkness and floaty feeling of nothing. In other more sad dreams she sat alone in a dark room. The feeling of floatiness (I know its not a real word, but it fit perfect) forgotten and the sinking off into cold thoughts grabbed at her heart. No light shone anywhere and if there was any light shadows covered the walls and stared at her. The shadows would sneak up behind her and envelop her into more darkness and shadows. Until all she saw was the sadness in her own eyes amplified by the darkness in her heart. During those dreams she felt sick emotionally and physically. Soon whispers would float to her ears. Whispers from her peers and from people on the street. "Nothing" is usually what they whispered. All the dreams good and bad were sketched into those pages. When she read them over she felt sadness and happiness. Than nothing.

The third notebook held what happened throughout the day. Right before she would go to sleep Kagome would write in detail about how good or bad her day was. Every hurtful and encouraging word that was said to her. When she was being forgotten, ignored, praised, or helped. Everything went into the notebook. Most things written done were her depressing thoughts. How hopeless every day felt and how darkness clouded her vision. How the tears burned and the words stung. Kagome never read those notebooks. They were left unread and forgotten. Except for a special time each year when she would read one or two. Even on her birthday nothing was good. An example was from her birthday in school when she was twelve. Her mom had encouraged her to bring cupcakes to share w/ the rest of the class even though Kagome didn't want to; she went along w/ her mom hoping that sweets could buy her friends.

Dear Journal,

Today was my birthday. I turned twelve. Mom bought a whole bunch of pretty colored cupcakes, decked in icing and sugar candies. They all had a little plastic sign sticking out of them that said 'Happy Birthday'. I believed them to be beautiful, I was sure my whole class would love them. I realized today to not have any faith in my class, I really should have gone along with my gut feeling of not bringing anything and just be invisible like always. I got to school with my big paper bag holding my beautiful cupcakes and walked into my homeroom class. Everyone stopped and stared at me when the teacher said I had brought cupcakes to share w/ the class because of my birthday. The first thing somebody said was "Isn't that a bit to juvenile for middle school?" Everybody started laughing I could feel my face go bright red. More laughing, laughing at my embarrassment. The teacher hushed the class down and asked me to pick someone to help me pass out my cupcakes. I felt like getting revenge, so I picked the person that had started the laughing a guy named Hiten. He stared at me and got up and dragged himself to the front of the class never stopping glaring at me. We passed out all the cupcakes some people ate them but most people just sat them on their desk staring at them. Hiten glared at his and started to smirk evilly. Soon lunch came along and as soon as I walked into the cafeteria everyone quieted down and stared at me. The word about the cupcakes must have gotten around. I walked to my seat in the back at a shady corner, to hide from all the staring eyes. I could feel them glaring at my back. Than it came, the first of many horrible events that day. Hiten came up to me and stood behind me, I didn't turn around. He grabbed my shoulder and turned me around so I faced the whole cafeteria, all eyes where on me and than he took one of my cupcakes from this morning and squished it into my hair until it was everywhere. He laughed and got my milk and poured it on my head and said, "Maybe now you will think twice about picking me to help pass out your stupid cupcakes!" The whole cafeteria was silent but than burst out laughing. I held in my tears that were burning and blurring my vision and ran out of the cafeteria, the sound of laughing following me as I ran and as I got pelted by a few of my cupcakes. I ran to the bathroom covered in my cupcakes, my beautiful cupcakes crushed and broken just like my heart. Their beauty now gone left in crumbles in my hair, the sweet icing smeared on my clothes. I learned today never to bring anything to class ever again.

All entry's where broken and depressing to her. Nothing made her feel better about that notebook, so it was left. Forgotten until one day when their terror would mean nothing to her. A memory faded away crushed and broken just like her cupcakes.