Sorry for not updating for quite awhile, I have been having very big problems in my life so far. I cant update a lot but I will try to make my chapters longer.
Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story, it means a lot and because of you guys I haven't given up on this story.
Also thanks to youkaigirl64 who gave me the idea for the box cutters, if you read this chapter you see my thanks!
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, Rumiko Takahashi does.
Kagome felt like dying the next morning, not because of the scrathches on her arm or the stinging pain caused by the scratches but by the sadness that leaked in and out of her. It went through her pores and into her blood stream then through her heart and finally to her brain and out her eyes in the form of tears. As Kagome summed up her life so many times before, it was crap. Day in and day out; all day everyday. The moment she woke up her head hurt and when she went to sleep at night it only dulled into a throbbing ache. Food to her now tasted of soggy cardboard even the sweets she loved lost their luster. Her throat burned and it felt as if she was falling apart. Going to school every morning to just sit in class and feel lonely wasn't her kind of fun. At lunch instead of sitting with the other adolescences of society she found a small corner in which to lodge herself. Away from prying eyes and the happiness she could feel coming from them. Kagome grew spiteful and cold, always keeping her head down and staring at the ground.
The thought of the upcoming "club" didn't help her mind out very much. So many questions still left unanswered floated threw her head. 'Nothing makes sense anymore' thought Kagome ' Is the sky even blue in my world anymore?' A relatively stupid question to ask oneself but still it was another thought, another question she couldn't answer to her self anymore. Even though everyday the sky was pretty darn blue.
She decided to take a shower and than dress and maybe than she would die. Or maybe she thought she could take a shower, get dressed, walk in the park awhile, and than die. Each option seemed good but still it wasn't very smart. Well in any case she took a shower and got dressed. Than she went downstairs.
"Kagome, Kagome, Kagome" her mother said as she saw her daughter descend the stairs. "Why in the world do you look so glum today?"
Kagome felt like smacking her mother for asking such a stupid question, aren't mothers supposed to sense the inner turmoil of their children? But instead of any smacking for the fear of what it might bring from her mother she just answered with a nonchalant "Nothing, why?"
" I don't know you just look glum"
"Well its nothing so can you just drop it?" Kagome asked hoping the answer to be yes.
"Ok, but only because I have to go to work again today, they need me a lot."
Instead of feeling joy for her wish of dropping the subject about her sadness. Kagome just felt bitter knowing that today again the world would be endless without having company, even if said company typed away at a computer all day in the home office.
"Ok, I'm leaving now so be a good girl while I'm gone!"
"Fine mama. I will"
Than her mother left leaving Kagome alone and tired of being bored already.
'I will go to the park and hopefully on my way there I will get run over by a car.'
On her way to the park she didn't get run over by a car nor did anything happen at all. As soon as she was in the park and sitting on the infamous bench hidden by a branch, none other than InuYasha popped out to inform her of the date of the first "club" day.
Hi, InuYasha so its on Monday?" Kagome asked.
"Yeah" InuYasha said "that's it, I told everyone about what you suggested and they said it was a great idea."
"Wow people actually liked my idea? That's different"
"Whatever Kagome I think you are perfectly smart."
Kagome fought the blush rising to her cheeks but failed only a bit.
"Don't say that InuYasha you will make me blush!" Kagome joked.
InuYasha only just smiled and shrugged.
"So will everyone you listed be able to make it? Kagome wondered aloud to InuYasha.
"Yep, they all said yes."
Even though everybody showed up for the first day some looked as if they would rather die than ever step foot into that little shed again. Inuyasha had to keep insuring people the club was going to be clean and nobody would have to tell their deep dark secrets about why they wanted to cut in the first place. InuYasha knew the blunt reason everyone was their but not the real reason. The whole picture is usually confidential. Nobody really likes their personal stuff out in the open, especially their weaknesses.
Kagome didn't want people to know why she cut mainly because her turmoil was pretty small compared to the rest. Plus she didn't want people to feel pity for her, but one thing was guaranteed in the "club". Everybody would understand what it felt like to want to just bleed. Kagome was positive if she told her mother or brother or anyone else for that matter they wouldn't understand. They would think her alien and disturbed. But, when around people that do the same things you do… its easier. When around InuYasha she wasn't afraid to say how good it felt to see your own blood, how sometimes the pain of the cut can overpower the pain of your heart and mind.
"So Kagome I told people to bring their own weapon of choice, what are you bringing?" asked InuYasha.
To Kagome the way he asked it sounded sinister. With the "weapon" part and all. "A razor I got off a shaver" she said.
"A razor?" InuYasha looked as if he was hit in the face with a cold dead fish and couldn't get over the surprise of what just happened. "Kagome let me see your arms…where you cut" He asked with a questioning look on his face.
Kagome was a tad wary of what he was getting at but showed her chicken scratches to him.
"Oh, Kagome, Kagome, Kagome' said InuYasha.
Kagome felt déjà vu.
"No wonder you complain about not being able to bleed. Razors suck they don't do crap."
Kagome was shocked at this, in the movies people always used razors even on books.
"What do you mean InuYasha? What about in Movies and…"
InuYasha cut her off and said "Kagome books and movies and TV shows they are all a bunch of patooie! The real things are box cutters and really sharp metal, sometimes knives."
Kagome felt enlightened but how could she get a box cutter without her mother being suspicious? Kagome had no money and she couldn't ask her mother fearing of looking nervous as she lied.
InuYasha saw her worried and shook his head as if sad for her and tired of dealing with her. "How 'bout this Kagome, you get about $10 for me and I will get it for you."
Kagome looked up with a smile. "InuYasha thank you so much! I don't know how I could properly harm myself without you!
Later that week Kagome paid InuYasha and he gave her the box cutter. Than that night as she sat in the bathroom and pressed the knife to her skin, dragging it down in a line. Kagome bled for the very first time from a self inflicted wound, and all it did was make her want more.
Wow, that's the longest chapter I have done! Anyway, the next few chapters I'm going to do explains the people in the clubs stories of why they do what they do. I have ideas so it wont be to long for me to get them down. Hope you still review this!