Slipping Through the Cracks

Part 3: Wake-Up Call

See Part 1 for disclaimers

Author's Note: Okay, the title for this chapter is lame, I apologize. I haven't started writing yet which is unusual for me because I tend to write the chapter and then add the note, but oh well.

I hope you guys like this because if it goes where I think it's going I'm going to need all the support I can get to keep writing it… And a LOT of hugs:)

Dedications: To Dana for inspiring me to another cliffhanger with her last chapter :) YOU ROCK!

Natalie was lying in bed staring blankly at the wall for the third day in a row when Viki knocked softly on the door. "Come in," she called flatly, not turning as her mother walked in. "Natalie, you've got to stop doing this to yourself sweetie." "Doing what Mom?" Viki moved to where she was in her daughter's view and gestured for her to sit up. With a sigh Natalie complied, and she sat down beside her.

"Sweetie, I know that you want to stay angry at John but look at what it's doing to you. You haven't eaten well in months, you're not sleeping…" Natalie looked down when she heard Viki's voice break and saw the tears in her eyes. "Mom, please don't," she pleaded, tears springing to her eyes as well.

Viki took her into her arms. "Sweetie, you have to take a step back and look at this objectively. Do you love John?" Natalie nodded almost imperceptibly against her mother's chest. "Mom, I do. I've tried so hard to stop. I've tried to hate him. I'm so ashamed of myself." There was a note of pleading and guilt in her voice that made Viki tighten her grip. "Honey, you have nothing to be ashamed of." Natalie's eyes were filled with tears as she pulled back and looked straight at Viki. "Mom, I almost slept with John just months after I thought Cristian died. Then I was sleeping with him while my husband was in Statesville Prison and John knew. What kind of person does something like that?"

Viki squeezed her hand gently as she replied, "Sweetie, you are not a bad person. You loved Cristian as much as a person can love, and how are you to be held responsible for something that you had no idea about? As for John, he holds part of the blame but you need to think about who deserves the brunt of it." "But Mom, Cristian is dead. I can't blame him and I can't do what I want to him." "What is it that you want to do?" Natalie remained silent. "Honey, it's okay to talk about it, let the rage out."

Natalie's eyes narrowed and her voice was bitter as she replied, hatred clear in her voice, "I want to scream at him, I want to hit him until he feels all the pain that I'm feeling, but I can't because he's dead! Damn him!" she screamed, anguish and anger clear in her voice, mixing together to create a wail haunting enough to make Viki clutch her to her chest again. "Shhh, honey, let it out…" Viki rocked her daughter helplessly, wishing she could do anything to relieve her pain…

Three days later, Viki had had to go out of town for a business meeting and had asked Jessica to keep an eye on Natalie. She had a bad feeling about leaving, but there was no way to avoid it. Duke had screwed up a lot of major accounts and it was going to be all she could do to keep their most high-profile clients from going to the tabloids.

Jessica had moved into Llanfair until Viki got back, and she was determined to see a smile on her sister's face, hence her dragging a dance pad and copy of Dance Dance Revolution up to her room. Natalie did grin when she saw her sister's attempts to dance, and then laughed out loud as she tried to "do the wobble."

Jessica glared at her. "This isn't funny. Come on, you try." Natalie smirked, and for a minute it seemed she was back to her old self. "Let me at it!" She took Jessica's place on the dance mat and did the exact same routines, getting a perfect score every time. She laughed as Jessica glared at her from the bed, arms crossed over her chest in a silent pout. "I hate you."

Natalie grinned back, but it disappeared as she felt a sharp pain rip through her stomach. She collapsed to the ground, moaning and clutching her stomach protectively. Jess was at her side in an instant. "Natalie?" "Oh god… The baby!" was all Natalie managed before she passed out…

TO BE CONTINUED