Disclaimer: If I was Rowling, I wouldn't be putting this here, would I? Doi. Anyhow, all characters not mine, just the plot.
Tease Me. Taunt Me. Tempt Me.
He was always in the back of her consciousness. Teasing, taunting, tempting. Too much, she shook her head as if it could clear the thoughts swirling throughout. A tear slowly wove its well-worn trail across her flushed cheeks. She could barely see, partly due to lack of sleep, obvious from the dark rings circling below her eyes. Her eyes. A soft brown. Likened to a pot of melting chocolate, he had casually mentioned once. Little did he know how she stored these comments, dating it, filing it away in a secret compartment of her mind, to be brought out for constant perusal, or for some indulgence. She sighed again, watching the sun slide into the distant horizon, a mass of red-purple clouds tinted against a rapidly darkening sky. He did not know how much influence he was upon her, or then again, maybe he did. It never mattered either way to him, did it?
She heard the jingling of keys as if from a distance, the unmistakable 'click' of the lock as it flipped open to receive the bane of her existence, the love of her life. "Never thought I'd see you do it the Muggle way."
Draco Malfoy stared back, blinking in a momentary lapse of confusion before a hardened gaze settled onto cynical features. "And how did you get in then? Surely not by slithering in like a snake? That's a role reserved for those who deserve it, the intuition and the intelligence which quite frankly, I do not believe you possess any longer. Not since - " His voice tapered off as he completely took in the appearance of her.
Ginny Weasley was huddled against a sliding glass door that appeared to be at least measure up to half the room. And although her face was turned towards the sunset, it still highlighted the prominence of pureblooded cheekbones as aristocratic as his own. Her cheeks had a slightly sunken look, as if she had lost weight recently and rapidly, far too rapidly. She was always of average height, never too tall nor too short, but she made a pitiful sight with baggy clothes he recognized as his own, hanging off her now slightly bony frame. His stormy-grey orbs widened in realization of a bright stain on the white, pristine button-down shirt which was only done up halfway. It completely detracted from the tantalising glimpse of a silky green bra. In other words, the crimson of her blood was an exact contrast to the said apparel. He spied the tell-tale signs of self-mutilation.
He gave a weary grimace. "Ginny .. "
"Don't, Draco. Just don't." The force of her words shocked him, almost pure hatred injected into the vehemence of her statement.
"We've been through this, Gin. You won't stay, I won't stay."
The deadened look in her eyes was instantaneously gone, bursts of anger flashed in them. "You bastard. I gave you three years of my life, you miserable wretch. I didn't want to leave, if ever. You on the other hand, treated it as our dirty, little secret," she mocked in a singsong manner. "While you had the Parkinson bitch clinging to your arm, batting those bloody eyelashes at you, acting all girly and cute. It sickened me!" she roared at him. Draco took an unsure step back, feeling for his wand which, to his dismay, was lying in Ginny's lap. He knew better than to question her skills in summoning things, as well as hexing.
She continued, with an almost cruel look in her familiar, soft eyes. "I had to be the one hiding in the goddamn shadows, going mad with envy that she could be seen with you in public, holding hands, kissing you, whatever, it doesn't matter! She was the one you were with during the days, acting as a couple in love, while you took me as the whore whom you visited in the dark of the night to service your needs! Tell me, Draco darling, tell me how it was fair!"
Draco made as though he would interrupt, but Ginny cut him off. "No, Draco, it will be my turn to speak now! You dangled a carrot in front of an eager donkey, you led me to believe that it was the only way we could even see each other. That it was for appearances' sake with Parkinson," she spit out the name like a particularly revolting Every-Flavour Bean. "When she found out about your exploits with Fleur, she dumped you publicly, a red mark gracing that blasted cheek of yours. Secretly, I was pleased. I could finally 'come out of the closet' properly, as though I was some lesbian who needed everybody's approval. And then of course, you started to go cold on me. I thought at first that I had pushed you a little too far for a real relationship. But wonder of wonders, you were actually dating Hermione!" Ginny's jaw opened in mock surprise.
She held up a hand to silence the many protests that had started to spring to Draco's mouth. "Imagine the shock I received. Imagine that, the Pureblood together with the Mudblood! The little Weasley blood traitor was apparently not good enough for you, I presume? I didn't quite get that impression, Draco. In fact, I think you rather enjoyed our many trysts in bed, hmm?" Ginny had slowly stepped towards him, under the dim, yellow glow of the living room, lips glistening invitingly, eyes becoming dark.
Draco swallowed audibly, his erection becoming visible, straining against the confines of his slacks.
Merlin, she had always turned him on with that vulnerability and the pretend mask of coldness. Quite a contradiction in itself. But what got to him the most was her complete lack of inhibition in the sex that followed these sort of arguments. She was a right wildcat then, biting and clawing, uttering words that her mother would go into spasms to hear. She seemed untouchable at these times, laughing at his pleading to let him come, and she would only tease him. Taunt him. Tempt him. Slowing down the pace considerably, while he tried to achieve what he could not, begging, yes begging for her touch, her taste, her feel. Her fiery tresses agonizing him as they swept across his chest when she started to ride him. Fuck, he thought, as she drew still closer, her milky bosom with that unforgettable beauty mark near her right breast brushing against his arm, her hips grinding into his. He recalled vaguely that she'd hated the tiny spot, the imperfection on her body, until he had kissed it and told her he quite liked it.
Suddenly, she withdrew. Draco almost reached out for her but the playful look upon her face was gone, replaced again by the stony countenance of before.
"I trusted you, Draco. I trusted her. I told her all that had passed between us, every-fucking-thing, I actually told her I felt for you, y'know? That I actually - ," she let off a sharp laugh.
"I actually told her I loved you. With all my heart and soul, or some such childish notion. And she cried on my shoulder countless times, moaning about things with her and Ron not going anywhere!"
"I let her. I soothed her. I made her smile, for fuck's sake! And how the fuck does she repay me? By stealing you from right under my nose! I, who was so pleased that the two people I held dear were attempting to be friends, that I didn't notice that she was giving you blowjobs in those extra rounds you had as Head Boy and Girl! Is this how kindness is repaid, Draco? Kindness begets betrayal, I suppose?"
Ginny suddenly halted in her tirade, looking as dejected and vulnerable as the first day he had known who she really was: the student who had opened the 'Chamber of Secrets'. Draco had seen that scared look in her soft, brown eyes when he had opened his mouth to cruelly remark on this event, and had promptly stopped. Even he wasn't that much of a bastard. But his fascination for the youngest Weasley had continued all the way to his 6th year, where he had finally told her how he felt. The girl was startled, but did not immediately push him away, and a few months later, they were consummating a relationship that was there and yet not, for the both of them.
Draco pulled her back to the bulk of his body that overshadowed her smaller one. She allowed the simple gesture, head tipped back, unshed tears glinting in her eyes. The pain, the hurt, the anger, the betrayal all simmered below the surface of them, and yet, there was that little spark of hope. Draco lowered his head to hers, his fuller, slightly feminine lips covering her tiny, doll-like petals. She moaned softly, savouring the taste of him, the one she had sorely missed. Ginny started a trail of butterfly kisses on the side of his jawline, leading right up to his ears. He couldn't help it. He groaned loudly as her warm tongue traced the shell shape of his ears. She stopped abruptly and he made a noise of annoyance. Ginny pushed him away gently, looking deep into his eyes as she started to unbutton the rest of the thin shirt, the crimson lines on her arm fading to black as the blood dried. The shirt fell silently to the floor.
Draco was aware that she was leading him gently to the bedroom and he knew the ending: Ginny would stay for a few more weeks before repeating a similar speech to him. It was a never-ending cycle of him as the tormentor, and she, the ever-ready victim in the picture she painted. He knew he had always acted like a total shit to her and behaved appallingly, but he could never find it within himself to give her what she desperately wanted; his love and the acknowledgement of that love to the whole world. She never cared about the people knowing or not before, but she was finding it extremely difficult to carry on this ... arrangement, when she had to hide everything to herself for fear of people deriding her as a scarlet woman. The threat of Lucius Malfoy had long been eliminated with the downfall of Lord Voldemort, therefore, Draco's reasons were becoming very limited at not wanting to make their relationship official. After all, he doubted she would take the news of him still carrying a well, not torch exactly - more of a flame for Pansy sodding Parkinson very well. Not well at all. He didn't know why she didn't just turn her back and forget him.
Draco pushed these thoughts away and watched with lust-filled eyes as Ginny, training her concentration on him again, started to slide a small hand to the back of her neck, slowly coming to the front to rest on her heart where it paused for a moment. The hand then continued to glide on that smooth, creamy expanse of skin until they were lifting her breasts out of the clearly expensive lingerie, cupping them, caressing that luscious flesh. She reached around to undo the clasps of the bra, and they dropped in a whisper of silk to the carpet. Ginny slipped a slim finger into her mouth, moistening it, and took it out again. She drew the finger level to her chest, and began to roll a nipple between the finger and her thumb. The nipple quickly became engorged, the deep blush of it standing out firmly from the rest of her breast. Draco's breath started to hitch.
Ginny smirked, and reached out to trace Draco's hard-on through his boxers, trousers long since gone when they became too constraining. He groaned, and she schooled her features into an innocent expression. "Does it hurt? Do you want me to kiss it better for you?" Draco was not surprised by Ginny's talk any longer, but she still got to him in a way nobody had before. He nodded fervently, a silent yes. "That's too bad. I'm feeling rather hot under the collar myself, that is to say, if I had one. Care to help me relieve this ache?" Ginny's hand reverted to its owner, and it began its tale of seduction again, feeling her taut tummy, circling the belly-button before coming to rest on those schoolgirl-white skimpy panties, having worn nothing but her underwear and Draco's shirt. Draco breathing was getting more and more laboured by the second. Ginny was still calm, her hand modestly placed over the panties. Draco shut his eyes and gulped. How she had such an effect on him, he did not understand. He reopened his eyes to find Ginny, eyes closed, pressing herself into the palm of her hand.
Ginny was definitely feeling horny. She ground into her own hand harder, trying to assuage the desire, but it only served to intensify the feeling as she'd already known, not being a stranger to pleasuring herself. It gave her a kick, knowing Draco was watching, always watching, and could see the white panties turning transparent where her fluids had soaked through. Draco spoke then. "Please, Ginny." She understood. She lay on the bed behind her, her crotch now at eye level with Draco, who was leaning back against a chair, working himself, stroking faster, harder. She slipped the panties off, a finger tentatively exploring the wet slit. She sighed quietly as the finger made its breakthrough through her nether lips, searching .. searching. She let out a moan when her finger found the right button to press. She started rubbing on her clit, the nub stiffening as she teased it mercilessly. Slowly at first, she picked up the pace, her fingers working quickly, running back and forth, back and forth .. she bit her lip when her fingers began a circular dance around the core instead of directly on it. In front of her, she could just about concentrate hard enough in her lust haze to hear Draco's ragged breathing matching hers and see him holding his cock, proud and erect. The image of him filled her mind; Draco stroking, pumping his stiff member, one hand moving in the same furious way her own fingers were doing, thrusting in and out of her vagina. Draco was cupping his balls in the other hand, hers relentlessly playing with her clit. She hastened the speed; she could almost feel herself starting to clench, an orgasm was beginning to build.
Draco could see she was going to come, wrapped up in his world though he was. He hurried to her, and kneeling on the carpet in front of the bed, he spread Ginny's legs still further. Ginny's eyes widened as he used his warm, wet tongue on her, an expert at finding her pleasure spots. His tongue started to lap lazily on her clit, broad strokes where she could feel the rough surface, the tiny tastebuds. His fingers did not stay idle, three of them buried deep inside her vagina, they imitated more intimate movements, pushing in then withdrawing .. again ... and again .. and faster now, there was an urgency to their thrusting. The pressure mounted, Draco's lips were brushing over her clit, almost there but not quite ...
"Fuck you, Draco Malfoy," she screamed, a guttural oath to his name as her hips bucked under his ministrations.
"No, darling, fuck you," Draco drawled, his lips and fingers glistening with her wetness.
He met her eyes as he deliberately sucked his fingers, and then licked every last, honeyed drop from her core. Draco lifted his lips in a careless half-smile, as Ginny began to squirm from the attention of his mouth and hands. "I'm not done yet, Gin dear. In fact, far from it," Draco promised as his cock pushed against her slick entrance, seeking the fulfilment of the most basic of needs.
Needless to say, they finished off the round of sex quickly,indulging Draco's favourite fantasy of Ginny riding him like she did her broomstick, hissing like an agitated pussy cat. They lay in bed in relative silence, Ginny's head on his chest, his arm curling around her protectively. The buzz of their lovemaking soon started to wear off, and the tension replaced the comfortable atmosphere, tension so thick Draco began to feel claustrophobic. He gently lifted Ginny off himself, and pulling on a loose pair of silk trousers, he excused himself to go to the toilet.
When Draco left the room, Ginny stretched, first feeling contented, and then a frown started to creep across her heart-shaped face. Brushing her fringe out of her eyes, she moved as though in a dream - zombie-like. She vaguely realised putting on the shirt she wore earlier, minus her bra, and heading out to the glass door, wrenching it open with such force she thought it would shatter. But it slid open smoothly, and she stepped out onto the spacious balcony, the sun long gone, the full moon partially obscured by clouds. She looked up into the vast blackness and out of habit, made a wish on one of the brightest stars winking at her.
"Lady of the Moon, Fairies of the Stars ... I wish for nothing more than to love and be loved in return by Draco Malfoy, with no more secrets kept between us, with no more secrets of 'us' hidden behind closed bedroom doors. Grant my wish, I beg of thee, I await your decision, and we shall see ... "
CRASH!
Liquid flowed past Ginny's feet. For one morbid moment, she believed it to be blood, until the acidic tang of red wine weaved its way into her nostrils. Slivers of shattered glass were littered over the floor, as her eyes raised to meet Draco's, who clearly had been bringing a bottle of wine and two delicate crystal goblets. She laughed nervously.
"Darling, I know I always told you I much preferred the white over red, but this is quite ridiculous."
Draco's face was unreadable, her lame joke not helping in the slightest. He looked so many things now; angry, upset, hurt, guilt ... and the list went on. What Ginny noticed however, that he was Draco. Her Draco. She held out open arms to him.
How could he go to her? Even should the floor be clear of glass, the next would be her heart breaking in pieces. He could see how much in love she was with him, it was so obvious. And yet, for years he had banished that idea, truly believing that Ginny would be a conquest, a girl to share his bed and life for a while, but never his heart. He did love Ginny, he did, but he doubted that he really had it in him to really understand love and its trappings. She had always been a presence to him, comfortable, warm, secure. That was why he always had relationships in public with other women. She would be the one he would come home to at the end of it all and still love him despite his numerous faults. And maybe, just maybe he could love her as much as she loved him, but Draco was seriously in doubt of that. Plus there was Pansy, who would make the perfect trophy wife, who had spurned him, whom he cared for. Not as much as Ginny certainly, but she would be a better choice for him and his station in life.
Ginny's eyes held confusion as Draco shook his head. Tilting her head sideways, she studied him.
"It's her, isn't it." It was a statement more than a question.
Draco could only nod, his throat dry.
"After all these years ... I've given you everything, Draco. What more could you want?"
Her tone was resigned. He felt guilt stabbing him, even through his very bones, he ached.
"Ginny ... "
"Don't Ginny me. Don't, Draco. Just don't."
Her voice was a reminiscent echo of their earlier disagreement. Frustrated, Draco used another approach.
"I can't have you being my wife, Gin. You've known that."
"No, I didn't. I'm not forcing you to marry me, but you put me into an illusion. One which you could never fulfill."
Tears were running down her cheeks freely now. A sob constricted in her throat.
"Ginny, I want you, I don't deny that. But we're growing up, seeking new pastures - "
"That's for you, you selfish prick! You were, and are my everything!"
Her eyes blazed, a determined set of her jaw warned him of her potential as a Fire element, wild, unbridled, furious ... and he had managed to tame the little spitfire. But now she burned haphazardly out of control. She walked towards him, slow, steady steps that did nothing to hide the crunch of glass beneath her tender feet, and she did not flinch as he did, knowing the sharp shards were cutting painfully into her.
Ginny finally reached Draco, the most agonizing walk of her life completed. She smiled slowly. "You see Draco, I can do this. I can because right now, the ripping of my flesh, the blood pouring is nothing, absolutely NOTHING compared to what I feel on the inside. You wanted to know before why I steal your razors to tear my skin. It's my release from this hell-hole you've put me through! I am in control at the moment! I decide my fate, not you!"
Draco found his voice. "No, Gin, you're not. Even though you think you are, the catalyst for your decisions are never of your own making, are they?"
Ginny blinked, suddenly lost in the purpose of her stride, but quickly regained her composure.
"Very well, then. It matters not to me any longer anyway. But I do love you," she spoke softly, her hand stroking his cheek.
Draco kept his silence. She stared at him hard, looking him all over, her forehead feeling his brow, her lips finding his lips, her hands roamed his shoulders ...
And she spun on her heel, ignoring the sickening crunch of glass again as she ran the remaining distance to the railings edging the balcony.
"Ginny, NO!" Draco cried out, horror revealed on his usually emotionless face.
The realization that the good, long look she had just executed was to burn him into her memory, to remember one last time ... his one last kiss ...
She turned back once, just once to look at him, a smile of regret, of release, of love etched on her features.
"Oh yes, I forgot to mention that I got in by Vanishing your door, and it was a lot of work bringing it back."
"Don't go, please, don't do this, I didn't mean it, I swear, I'll make it up to you, whatever it takes," Draco was sobbing now, on his knees, and he finally understood what she meant of not feeling the physical pain even while he was kneeling on glass. His heart was in complete ribbons, he was pierced deep into bone by an invisible constriction that squeezed his entire being.
"Please, Gin ... I love you too, no matter how hard it is for me to admit - I know that now."
But Ginny never heard, as she had neatly scaled the high rails, and had swung herself head-first into the black abyss below, 18 storeys down.
Ginny felt at peace as she hurtled towards the ground looming dangerously close below. It was the first time she didn't feel the wretched pain within.
THUMP!
And the clouds started their lament for her, the moon and stars in mourning, not to be seen in the pitch-black sky. Rain pelted heavily on the form of a heavily weeping Draco, almost blind in his fury and pain.
"I love you, oh Gods, I love you, Gin, I love you ... I love you ... I love you ... "
A/N:
Right all, a little ouch I know, but I've somewhat been in Ginny's position up until before she jumps off, I never had that sort of drive. I would just fall back and start the cycle of hurting and being hurt all over again. So, yeah. This wasn't easy to write because I based it on my own life, although obviously exaggerated, but it does come close. I don't expect you to review, criticise if you want, 'cuz probably then I could pick up some good advice that I will never apply in real life. I just really needed to get this off my chest. And what better way to do it than anonymously here? Draco's part in the ending is the ending I would obviously love to have without Ginny dying and all. No, I'm not being obtuse or trying to gain sympathy or what-not, just because it is one of my first stories that I have really ever completed based on my experiences, because I always found it too hard to put down. I just need people to tell me what they think, how it could be improved, how my own effing life could be improved if that's possible. But anyway, I'm talking too much. Thanks for reading, anyhow.
p.s. unbeta-ed. sorry for any mistakes that may have aggravated you as the reader.