Harry Potter and the Tears of the Light
Chapter 5
My Way
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Harry Potter or anything in here you may be familiar with. New characters, plots etc. are all I am responsible of.
"Hermione!" squealed an excited red head.
"Ginny! How has your summer been?" the bushy haired witch asked as she came in from the kitchen.
It was several hours ago that Ginny joked with Ron about Hermione's arrival. After tearing through his room in search of the so-called "good" pants, Ron made his way down the stairs to find the lone presence of his baby sister. Seeing the suppressed giggles, he quickly turned for the kitchen in hopes of alleviating his annoyance with a bite of some sort. It wasn't until Tonks left number twelve to pick Hermione up did either of the young Weasleys have any idea when their friend would get there. After chatting about her trip to the States, and Ginny describing the dullness Gimmauld Place brought, Hermione noticed Ron standing in the doorway from the hall.
"Ronald Weasley, do I not get a hello or a hug?" she lightly quipped.
He had arrived just seconds earlier to discover the girls talking about the summer thus far, and found Hermione quite attractive standing there. It had only been about two months since they last saw each other, yet he couldn't help but admire the view. Her bushy and rather unmanageable hair was slightly smoother as it fell a few inches past her shoulders. Although she didn't possess the physical looks of a Cho Chang, she was none the less beautiful in her jeans and a simple t-shirt. Ron looked up into her eyes to find himself at a loss for words... In a sudden daze…
"Ron?" Hermione asked for a second with curiosity.
"Oh yeah, sorry about that," he said shaking out of his stupor. Walking over to deliver a hug, he asked, "How were the States?"
"Fantastic! In New Orleans," she began as they all found a place to sit in the living room, "we spent loads of time in the French Quarter which is the oldest muggle area in the whole city. The wizarding area is called Les Vaudou Équerre, which is French for The Voodoo Square. The entrance is right behind the Cabildo, which is where the Louisiana Purchase was signed. Did you know that James Monroe was a wizard and that's how the United States was able to buy over 2,000,000 km2 for about US$15,000,000? That's about £101,000,000 in today's money, which is roughly 20,000,000 Galleons and—"
"Hermione," Ginny speedily cut in, "this really is great. But, could you by chance leave out all the figures and the intricate anecdotes. I haven't a clue what you're talking about."
Hermione smiled as she realized she was rambling on after all. She couldn't help it. The knowledge and history was just bursting from her head since it was something that she never knew before. This bit of information wasn't found in "Hogwarts: A History."
"You know, I really expected Ron to stop me," Hermione admitted turning to one of her best friends.
"Oh, trust me; I would have if I'd known I'd be getting a complete history lesson on New Orleans and the something or other Voodoo. It's just that I was completely lost, that I think my brain froze," Ron said grinning.
"Oh honestly... They play Quidditch over there as well. Does that help you at all?"
"AH! Now we're getting somewhere!" Ron said as his eyes shot to life. "Did you see any Quidditch shops or any new brooms? I heard that the pitches there hold..."
They continued to learn more about New Orleans and her trip to Washington D.C. albeit with less pin-point knowledge as the evening wore on. Not to mention the random comment about Quidditch to keep Ron happy. Dinner that night turned out to be the most enjoyable in some time. The smell of Molly's cooking filled the entire room as they sat down. Even though Tonks dropped the hot stew onto the floor, all shared a carefree and happy mood. Hermione kept the conversations light with all the sights she was able to see on her trip. Ron, on the other hand, kept his mouth shut apart from the times a fork or spoon would enter. Listening and stealing glances at Hermione was all he could handle along with his meal. Unfortunately for him, this action was noticed by a young sibling who felt she needed to give the two one final push. Ginny's mischievous nature had been suppressed all summer with the twins constantly gone and her concern over Harry. It was time she took another shot at Ron. This time, he would be happier in the end; at least, that's what she hoped.
"Are you ok?" Ginny asked.
"Yeah, why do you ask?" he nervously inquired.
"No reason," she replied, "Just thought something was on your mind is all."
The sun set as the three Gryffindors left the kitchen and went into the living room. Hermione sat in the cushy arm chair with a book she brought back entitled "Magic of the South." Ginny, failing to finish her "Witch Weekly", found a spot in the middle of the room with the appearance of reading. Ron on the other hand sat the furthest he could from Hermione. Not wanting to draw any attention to himself, he cracked open another Quidditch magazine. After the rustling of several pages could be heard in the air, Ginny thought enough was enough.
"So Hermione, have you talked to Viktor lately?" she asked while sitting up.
"No," Hermione nonchalantly answered, "I actually haven't talked to him since I left for the States."
"Well that's a pity" Ginny said. "He seemed to really like you."
The conversation was not left unnoticed by Ron who stopped reading once the name "Viktor" came in the picture. Ginny knew that Ron had a thing for Hermione. She also knew that Hermione kept her passion to four things — School, S.P.E.W., Harry, and Ron.
Harry's place is the brother she never had. Anyone within sight of a Daily Prophet would think otherwise, but Ginny knew the truth. They love each other, but only as far as a sister loves a brother. There was a moment back during their first year together that Hermione did like Harry beyond a simple friendship. Behind her class work, library books and "Hogwarts: A History", she was enthralled by the famous Boy Who Lived. However, that developed into bond shared only by siblings. Ron was a whole other thing.
They incessantly quarreled over any issue. School work, pets, time management, it didn't matter. The two always found something to fight about. To Ginny, that was part of their flirtation and draw. Ron wouldn't know how else to act around her except to bicker and be a prat time and again. Hermione, on the other hand, would be mature enough to act civilly should something materialize. 'Too bad Ron may never grow up,' Ginny thought.
Rather annoyed with Ginny's observation about Krum, Ron spoke up from across the room.
"Well I think it's a good thing you're not talking with that git... Always seemed to rub me the wrong way."
"You used to worship him! You'd go around saying he's one of the best seekers in the world, followed by Harry of course. The only reason you knocked him off of that pedestal is due to the fact he actually showed a slight bit of interest in me. What, can't see anyone going out with me is that it?" Hermione asked with annoyance.
"I just don't think he's good enough for you" Ron replied with egotistical superiority.
"And who, oh wise one, is good enough for me?" Hermione inquired with hopeful sarcasm.
"I'll let you know as soon as I find him."
"Oh honestly Ronald," she frustratingly said. "Oh I almost forgot! Remember when I told you guys Professor Dumbledore wanted me to meet an exchange student for this coming term? Well, I met her while I was in Washington D.C. and her name's Samantha Green; quite lovely."
"What's lovely; her or her name?" Ron asked.
"She is, but her name is quite pretty as well," the traveler replied. "Dumbledore wanted me to fill her in on lots of specific things about Hogwarts."
"Please tell me she won't be in Slytherin!" Ron pleaded.
"No, I think she'll be put into Ravenclaw. She seemed to be quite bright. I didn't really have to tell her much because she already knew everything I had planned on telling her. Samantha kept looking at me as if I were daft," she said with humor. "Seriously, there was only one thing she didn't know and that was how normal Harry is."
"Why would the Professor have you do that?" the young Weasley wondered. "I can understand he wanted the two of you to meet each other if you had the chance, but why would he want you to fill her in on Hogwarts? I would think that he's already sent info to her so that's how she already knew most of what you had to say."
"Is she coming on the train?" asked Ron.
"No, she said that she'll be escorted by a 'staff member'. I think it's someone from the Order to be quite honest. Also, I'm surprised Dumbledore would accept exchange students at this time with Voldemort back," Hermione voiced and thought for a moment. "Peculiar…" she said more to the air than any person present.
"Hermione…" Ron said while attempting to gain her attention. "What is?"
The awkward tone caused both Ginny and Ron to move closer to Hermione so that when they say back down, they were directly in front of her. The flickering candlelight brought their faces into view as Hermione looked at them.
"What is what?"
"You said 'peculiar' and then nothing. What's peculiar?" the other female present asked.
"Oh it was nothing."
The three of them sat in near silence. Nothing but the bustling of Molly in the kitchen came through. Thoughts of You-Know-Who shifted towards their green-eyed friend.
"Has anyone talked to Harry lately," Hermione asked somberly. Her question was only met with silent shakes of the head.
"The last time I received a letter from him was about a week ago," Ginny replied. "I think we should write a letter to him. He'd want to know you're back Hermione."
"I could name loads more things he'd want to know too, but nooo… Dumbledore doesn't want him to know yet!" Ron said exasperated.
"Ron, you know that—"
"Yes I know!" Ron interrupted. For him, the reasons began to get repetitive. "Dumbledore has a good reason; we should trust him; blah blah blah. Well you know what Hermione? Even Dumbledore's been wrong before. I think this is one of the worst ideas he's had!"
"Ronald Weasley, don't talk about the Professor like that!" Hermione sternly said. "Regardless we have to give him our support. He has a lot going on at Hogwarts and the ministry."
Not wishing to have another fight on her first night back, Ron controlled his temper and asked one simple question.
"Who deserves our support more Hermione… Dumbledore or Harry?" The air remained still as if it would shatter with only a breath. There they sat staring down at the hard floor until Ron spoke up once more. "Anyway, come on guys; let's get that letter out to Harry before it gets too late."
With that, he got up and went up to his room for parchment and a quill. The two girls quietly followed. The short and to the point question kept Hermione lost in thought the whole way up the stairs.
"Wotcher Harry!"
"Oh, hey Tonks. I was wondering if you were going to come by today."
The two wizards found themselves on the edge of the park as people walked past them. The humid air that plagued England for several weeks seemed to take pity on the residents of Surrey as the weather began to improve. Gone was the steady rain which gave way to comforting rays of the sun. Despite all of his restrictions… Despite his inability to see his friends… And despite his built up anger, Harry began to take it all with a grain of salt. His focus turned from this stolen Godfather and Dumbledore's mysterious reasons, towards his newly found destiny. He had little time to fully take in what Dumbledore laid upon him in the Headmaster's office, but his time with Rector plunged him into another mindset. Although he had not the steps laid out for him, nor all the answers to the questions he sought, he would not be fazed. Young only in years, Harry began maturing even faster, if that were at all possible. This did not go unnoticed by those around him.
"Any word on Ron and that whole lot?" Tonks asked. "I saw them the other night."
"Yeah. They sent me a letter a couple nights ago. Hermione's back from the States, but you already knew that since you apparently took her. Ron's going mental because she's there," Harry said with satisfaction.
"How do you know?"
"After they got done writing it, Ginny added a little extra at the bottom. It's about bloody time too. If they're not together by the time I get there, I'll just flat out say it," Harry said, chuckling.
"So, what kind of debauchery do you have in store today?" Tonks inquired.
Ever since she found him lying on his bedroom floor, Tonks made it a point to spend as much time with Harry as she could. Despite initial objections for Dumbledore, he soon relented. Although she knew Hermione had her sisterly place in his heart, the Auror felt a need to be an older sister to him. She wasn't quite sure what caused it, but she could sense a change in him. Not only did it show in his actions every now and then, but also in his magic. There were times that magic, ever so slightly, seemed to encompass her friend. Only in the presence of Dumbledore did she actually feel magic. Although his youth is evident upon his face at times with his mischievous grin, there are moments when one would look at him and see a wizard as wise a Dumbledore himself. She quietly hoped that years down the road, other wizards would be compared to Harry Potter.
"I've been thinking," Harry began as they sat under a tree.
"I'd never have guess!" Tonks sarcastically stated. "All you do as of late is read, think and analyze. I think Hermione's having quite an effect on you."
"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," he joked, "I've been thinking… I need more help to get ready for this war."
"Harry, I know He's been after you, but we're going to do everything we can to keep you out of it until you finish school. We all want you to be safe, which is why Dumbledore is doing all of this. I might not agree with everything, but he wants to keep you safe," Tonks attempted to explain.
"Who's He Tonks?" he asked seriously. "I think I know who you're talking about, but I'm not certain."
"Voldemort. There, happy?"
"No, I wish we'd never had to say it in the first place. But since we do, we might as well say his name instead of tip toeing around the issue," Harry stated. "Tonks, I need help. I need your help."
"What is it Harry?" she began to wonder.
"When we get back to Grimmauld Place, I need you to train with me. Dueling, spell casting, the more the better. Reading the theory behind it all can only get you so far. I can fully practice Occlumency with Professor Dumbledore, and that's it!" Harry said slowly growing irritated over both Dumbledore and the little amount of practical magic casting he'd done.
"You know I'll help you any way I can, but you're still underage. Even though the ministry is still kissing your arse after what they did, I think they'll still be a bit pissed to find you breaking the law. Again I might add," Tonks added with a coy grin in an attempt to lighten up the mood.
"Do you trust me Tonks?" Harry asked looking directly into her eyes.
"Harry, you know that—" she began while looking away.
"Tonks…" he gently said. "Do you trust me?"
She looked again into his green eyes. "Yes."
He smiled contently as he saw a person whom he trusted, who trusted him in return.
"Then help me once I get back to headquarters."
A thousand thoughts filled her head, but only one matter at that moment.
"OK Harry. But if I get into deep trouble with the ministry, I'll tell dear old Rita you've been spending time with older women!"
"You won't get in trouble, I promise," he said with a laugh.
The two continued to relax under the tree and watch the muggles walk by. For Harry, his happiest and most solemn moments came whenever a young child would come to play with his or her parents. The opportunity for the family to play and spend time together outside in the park filled him with joy, even though he had but a simple smile upon his face. Behind the joy came the sadness of never having the chance to be that child with his own parents.
"You'd better get a move on before you're late," Tonks reminded him.
"You're right. Off to Occlumency for me and hiding behind a dumpster for you. Am I right?"
"You have three seconds before you'll be in a dumpster and I'll be tossing doggy dung in with you," Tonks sweetly warned with a smile.
"I think I hear Mrs. Figg now."
Occlumency lessons with Professor Dumbledore had been going well. Neither wished to flare tempers so they kept things business like. Harry's skills had improved through proper instruction and his newly found drive to practice every night. Although not nearly where Harry thought he should be, his progress impressed the old wizard. Not only did he practice his Occlumency, Harry also studied as much material from school as he could to master it all. Despite his gift from Rector, Harry could only practice with his wand to an extent. He reached the point a partner would be needed, hence his desire to recruit Tonks.
As the black haired boy walked towards the door, he heard music fill the air. Walking through the door, the voice sent him into a trance. The singing floated above the melody like none he had heard before. Harry soon relaxed and took in the lyrics that seemed to send a message directly to him.
"Yes there were times,
I'm sure you knew,
When I bit off,
More than I could chew,
But through it all,
When there was doubt,
I ate it up,
And spit it out.
I faced it all,
And I stood tall,
And did it My way."
"Oh Harry! I didn't hear you come in," the old squib said. "You're a bit early, so why don't you help me feed these little devils."
The two began dumping cat food into the small bowls. Dozens of pings could be heard as the cat food fell into several bowls. The sound of food caused cats from all over the house to enter the kitchen. As the song continued to play, Harry couldn't help but be drawn back to it.
"Mrs. Figg," he began, "who's singing? And what's this song called?"
"This Harry is Ol' Blue Eyes himself," she fondly recalled. "This particular song is called 'My Way.'"
"Ol' Blue Eyes?"
"Frank Sinatra. An American who started singing before your parents were even born. So you like this music huh?" Mrs. Figg asked.
"Yeah. There's something about it…" Harry said with questioning look.
"Well, If you find a way to get a CD player to work while you're at Hogwarts, and you can borrow all the music from me you like," she offered. "I have quite a collection of older music from the 40's and 50's." The music continued to play until the Headmaster came in through the fireplace.
"Hello Arabella, hello Harry," greeted the silver haired wizard while making his way towards the two. "Are we ready to begin Harry?"
"Yes sir," he replied. "Thank you for the offer Mrs. Figg. I'll be sure to keep it in mind."
As Mrs. Figg took her leave, the two wizards sat down across from each other. It was almost like clockwork. They held their Initial greeting, which continued into small talk. Once that is complete, Harry would be bombarded with the Professor attempting to gain access to his thoughts. After finishing with the pleasantries, they began.
"You did quite well last week," praised Dumbledore. "Let's see how much you've improved, which I have no doubt you did."
"Thank you sir."
"On the count of three… One — Two — Three—Legilimens!"
A Dementor on the train his third year glides towards him… He sees Dumbledore and Voldemort duel in the Department of Mysteries… Him and Tonks walking through the park… Images of the Basilisk and Fawkes…
Suddenly, Harry returned to reality by forcing the Professor out of his head. Despite having a much better teacher this time around, successfully throwing another wizard out of his head continued to take its toll on him. There was little time to recover as the lesson progressed forward.
"Good. This time, I will be going for specific memories," began the Professor. "Tom will not waste his time roaming your mind. His efforts will be focused on finding information he does not already know, as well as misdirecting you with his own thoughts. I'm afraid you are all too familiar with all this."
"Yes Professor," said Harry, who continued his labored breathing.
"Once again… Legilimens!"
Hagrid giving him the photo album his first year… Hermione after recovering from petrifaction… Sirius passing through the veil… A green flash… The Weasleys, murdered at the wand of Voldemort…
"NO!"
A sudden burst caused Dumbledore to be tossed back over his chair, crashing through an end table. Harry, still in shock, remained planted in his seat. Mrs. Figg popped her head in to find out what all the ruckus was about until she saw Albus on his back. Showing a surprising amount of quickness for a woman her age, she sped across the room to help the older wizard to his feet.
"Albus are you ok? What happened?" she asked.
"I'm perfectly fine Arabella, thank you. It seems our young friend over here did not take well to a portion of the lesson, did you Harry?" Dumbledore said smiling with a touch of pain.
"I'm sorry Professor for knocking you back," Harry said quite sincerely, "but that was rather uncalled for!" Although he didn't mean to send Dumbledore and his half-moon spectacles back two meters, Harry did grow angry with the old man's tactics. "I don't appreciate seeing them all dead, and I don't think that they would approve of it either!"
Returning to his seat, Dumbledore's twinkle left his eyes and grew serious.
"You have to understand that this is what Voldemort will do if he gains access to your mind," Dumbledore slowly started knowing what would soon follow. "He will find the things that make you happiest… the people you love the most… and use it all against—"
"I've heard all of this before! What does it teach me, because I thought that was why I was here?" Harry said raising his voice while jumping up from his seat.
"Mr. Potter!" bellowed Dumbledore whose presence engulfed the entire room. "I remind you that in this moment I am your professor, and wish to be extended the respect and courtesy as such!"
Harry had never seen the Headmaster this angry. It truly was a frightening sight as Harry felt his courage falter. He was positive he had been quite rude on several previous occasions, but this was the first time Dumbledore felt the need to speak up about it. Mrs. Figg froze in her place as she witnessed the exchange. Meanwhile, Harry's legs bent to find his chair once more as a chill ran up his back.
"I am aware you are well versed in Voldemort's technique, however, your reaction to it remains constant. Anger… You must learn to suppress your emotions whether it be anger, sadness or joy…" Dumbledore felt his point had been made, so he brought his voice back down to his usual tone.
"The next step is to recognize when someone enters your mind immediately. Finally, you will be able to keep a constant block against any attack that your mind may come across. Before you can accomplish true mastery in this particular branch of magic, you must find a way to control your emotions better."
The Professor was right. Harry knew he needed to stop wearing his emotions on his sleeve and keep them in check. There were too many variables that affected so many around him. With Mrs. Figg taking her leave, the two remained silent. The Professor thought nothing else was needed from him at the moment. Harry meanwhile filed yet another task into his head.
"Perhaps this would be a prudent time to call it a day Harry. I will send an Order member in two days to take you to Headquarters. Take care," Dumbledore said as he stood up to take his leave.
"Yes Professor… and, thank you…" he thoughtfully said.
Turning around, the aging wizard's face donned a smile returning the trademark twinkle to his eyes. Harry still held resentment towards the old man, but left it to be worked out for another day. Dumbledore does what he feels is the right thing. Everyone knows that. 'Maybe I'm not the only one to wear things on his sleeve,' Harry thought.
The quiet evening continued as the street lamps turned on while Harry walked back to his Aunt and Uncle's house. Summers before, his day would have nearly been complete. Now as the sun set, his day was over but his evening had yet to begin. For the past week and a half, the green-eyed wizard would lock himself into his room while placing a silencing charm upon it. Taking Rector's words to heart, he spent roughly 45 minutes each on Charms, Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts and Potions. Not to mention the small mountain of homework he had for when he returned to Hogwarts. Harry only had 2 papers left to write which surprised him.
With only his old textbooks on hand, much of it was reinforcing his knowledge in theory. Potions was perhaps the one area that even material from third year would be new to him. His actual use of spells remained limited since he didn't want to destroy what little there already was in that room of his. A pillow was his lone target whenever he tried a spell. Despite having few he could practice, his study of its theory and his plans for the DA reached new heights. Harry wanted his friends to be prepared for whatever may come… something he had hoped Dumbledore would extend to him.
It was nearing 1:00 A.M. when Harry finally called it quits. The only thing left was clearing his mind before sending himself off to sleep. So much raced around his head that it took nearly an hour since taking the discipline up properly. A week and a half later he still needed about 40 minutes. Soon, his routine of morning/afternoon chores and evening studying would begin all over again.
Outside the second floor window through the tranquil night hovered a pair of dark eyes. Roughly a block away and unbeknown to anyone, they kept a constant watch over the area and Harry in particular.
'Pick up the pace Potter,' the eyes thought. 'At this rate, I'll never have any fun.'
A/N: Yet another very VERY late update. Sorry guys! Been out of the country, work, blah. I didn't abandon it so don't worry.
Thanks to my reviewers this time around: Pleione, krissygurl, IwOnDeRwHo, 19CJ99, wiley73, CastusAlbusCor, Ania Nicole
Please please please let me know if this story starts taking a wrong turn somewhere like I know IwOnDeRwHo will.
Without spoiling too much, here's what's going to happen in the next chapter. I really think I need an injection of some action.
-Back to #12 for Harry,Order meeting, reading of the Will, OWL results, Diagon Alley with a bit of a birthday tossed in.
Till next time...