From The Secret Diary of Hermione Granger:
New Year's Resolutions

Finally remembered to put in a disclaimer, so here it is!

Disclaimer: I don't own what isn't mine. (so pretty much nothing I write, since I'm not creative enough to come up with my own characters) :)

Read, review, (constructive criticism welcome) and enjoy!

Chapter 1

Jan. 1

10 pm

Ok. Am normal, boy-loving, school-hating teenage girl. Right. As my new year's resolution, I have resolved to reveal the other side of me, the New Hermione Granger. No longer will I memorize textbooks, no longer will I willingly speak up in class, not longer will people forget that I'm actually a 16-and-a-half year old girl (like Ron did that one time. I was 14 then, but whatever). Ok, deep breath. I can do this.

Jan. 3

8:30 AM

Sitting in history of magic. Goblin rebellions v. interesting. (Note to self: go to library after class look up the uprising of Henry the Horrific and his Hairy Helpers.) WAIT! NO! STOP! This isn't right. Am not supposed to like H of M.

Just glanced around at everyone.

Hmm, everyone else is either sleeping or looking rather dazed. Possible that they are high. Well, am not tired and have no drugs. How am I supposed to NOT pay attention? This is going to be harder than I thought. Must remember to ask Ron and Harry about it, seeing as they are the experts in this area… Where is Harry, anyway? Oh, yes. Have sneaking suspicion, but hope I am wrong…

12:00 Noon

Found Harry, looking rather rumpled, dazed and extremely happy; confirming my suspicions. He was making out with Ginny.

Again.

They've only been going out for about a month and I have already caught them going at it in no less than ten different places around the school, including MY wardrobe. (yeah, little bit grossed out by that. Had to wash all my clothes.) Why they were there, and how they got there I don't know and am not sure if I want to find out. Of course, am very happy for both of them, seeing as they have finally found "true happiness" (as they put it), but wasn't aware that "true happiness" was quite so loud and sweaty. Oh well, according to Ginny there are lots of things like that that I'm rather ignorant of, and proceeded to explain some of the finer points. Was v. pissed off that I was being "educated" by a girl a year younger than me. Told her to shove it, and that I am much more experienced than she gave me credit for (may have exaggerated slightly on what experience that I actually have) (which is none, so I extrapolated, not exaggerated) (whatever). Anyway, all she did was snort skeptically, give me an indulging look, and walked away. Will admit that I was very tempted to bitch-slap her at the time, but refrained. Now wish I had indulged in bitch-slapping urges. It doesn't help that Ginny's getting her "experience" from my best friend, who, contrary to popular belief, I do NOT like. Not even a little bit. He's to skinny, he's a pushover, and he's got a bit of a "saving people" thing. Not to mention I am discovering lately that he has some pent-up hormones that apparently need to be expressed. Possibly due to his utter celibacy up to this point, although I wasn't aware that he was so needy. Apparently he is, as Ginny as so thoughtfully revealed to me. Hmm, maybe it's not to late to have a little bitch-slapping session…