Story: Four Faces of Two Kisses||Chapter: Dreams to Hold On To
Romance: Yami no Yuugi x Bakura, Yami no Bakura x Yuugi
Chapters: 2-4||Words: 3,835||Total: 7,723
Genre: Romance||Rated: PG-13
Summary: Two kisses. Four points of view. Two bodies. Four souls. One moment that could change so much.
This is a little unusual. I don't really think we've been formally introduced. I mean, I know who you are, and you know who I am, but we haven't really...met, I guess you could say. I don't even know what I'm saying now. I keep on blushing. I've never reacted like this before, even when you've been around before. I guess there was never time.
So. I'm Bakura Ryou. And you're the pharaoh. The other Yugi. I know you wish you knew your real name to tell me. We'll help you find it. He probably knows, but he's not telling me. I think he enjoys seeing you like this.
You know he does? You're right, he does. I wish I knew why he hates you so much. It's not like he tells me anything. Or even really talks to me. I barely know you and you talk to me more than he does. At least things I want to hear. Sometimes he shows me things...
I'd rather not talk about them, really. He claims they're things from his past. I don't know if I should believe him. I mean, it's him. He can't be trusted.
He has the most annoying laugh ever. What did he say? Oh, he just said that it depends on what he's being trusted to do. I suppose he's right. This is making me nervous, you know. Most of the time when you're here, he's the one facing you. I've never been this nervous before.
And you've never sat down this close to me before either. It's kind of ...comfortable. I know I've never been this red before. That's pretty uncomfortable. I think you could fry an egg on my cheeks right now. No, it's just an expression.
You wanted to talk to me about something. What was it? I'd give you the Ring if I could, really, I would. But it just won't stay away from me. I'd love to be just a normal person again.
What do you mean, I'm not normal? I was once. I had a family, and I lived with them. I played games like any kid. I didn't have to worry about anything, really. I even had a sister once...
You've never heard about her? Not many people have. I don't talk about her that much. Please, don't touch me. It's not that I mind, really, I just don't like looking at people when I think about her. It's weird, I know. Why are you laughing? Oh, I was just saying I was normal, and now I'm saying it's weird? Well, consistency is the defense of a small mind. Or something like that.
I've made someone laugh. It's been a while. You're not laughing at me, are you? No? Good. I get that enough. You can guess from whom. But I like it when you laugh. It has a good kind of sound. He always sounds like whatever I did was the silliest thing that's ever happened since the world began. Maybe it is from his point of view. He's so much older than I am. He's seen a lot more.
Your fingers are so warm on my skin. I've never felt anything like it before. And your eyes...I can't believe no one ever suspected about you inside of Yugi. You look so different from him, especially there. His look is innocent and trusting. You're wise. You're beautiful.
Oh. Look, there I go, blushing again. Back to you. You're just so...you. I don't even know how to describe it all. I remember seeing you for the first time during that game of Monster World, and I think if I hadn't just been brought back to life, I would've forgotten how to breathe.
Listen to me running on like this. You wanted to talk to me, didn't you? I can't imagine what about. And I keep interrupting before you can tell me what it is. I'm such a rude host. He's told me that plenty of times. I think it's about the only thing he's right about.
No, he is, really he is. Look, I didn't even offer you a drink or a snack, and I keep going on when you want me to be quiet, and I don't know why I'm so nervous around you, and I just can't seem to shut up, and...
Oh. Well. That shut me up. I don't think I've ever been kissed into silence before. It's kind of nice. You have such warm lips. It wasn't a very long kiss, though. Oh, not that I'm complaining, I'm so sorry if you thought I was. It just was a short kiss. It startled me. I was wondering why you did it, too.
That was the only way you could think of to quiet me? It certainly worked. I don't think I've ever been that quiet.
I'm babbling on again. Are you going to kiss me again? There goes the blushing again. I think I do want you to. It was the first kiss I've ever had. I loved it.
You think you can do better? I don't doubt you could. You're the King of Games, after all, and this kind of thing could be a game. Which means you're going to win, no matter what. But I don't really know what the prize could be for something like this. Please don't say it would be me. I don't think I could handle that.
Your fingers are even warmer than they were before. Your hand feels so good just touching like on my cheek like that. And you just keep looking at me. I almost feel like a prize, just something that will be kept by whoever the winner is. If I could be certain who it is...
Looking up into your eyes has to be one of the most unusual experiences of my life. I feel so horrible so much of the time, but looking at you makes it all go away.
And I said that out loud, didn't I? I need to put some kind of a control on my mouth. One that isn't him.
He doesn't like that I said that. I'm really going to have to do something to make up for it. Maybe if I make him a steak? He doesn't eat that much but once in a while...
Yes, I do have to take care of him. If I don't, then he might not take care of me. He kind of has before. It's nothing I've liked, but he's told me how much worse it could be if he didn't. I know I don't trust him, but I did have a bit of a bully problem before I got the Ring. I haven't since then. Of course I did have the occasional small problem with where to put all the game figures that came into existence after that, but you fixed that.
You've fixed a lot of problems in my life. Ever since we met you, he hasn't bothered doing anything like that, and the bullies don't bother me because I'm Yugi's friend, and Yugi has you to protect him. I can't really say I envy him. I just kind of wish I was him. Because then I'd be near you all the time.
I said that out loud too, didn't I? I've got to do something about that.
Are you going to kiss me again?
I guess that answers that. Yes, I liked it again. How can you be so good at it? I mean, do you practice or something?
That really didn't come out the way I wanted it to. I wish I knew how to speak to people. I've never been good at it, unless I was in a game or something. It's easy to do it then, because I'm not really talking to them, I'm pushing their little figures around, and they're doing whatever it is I want them to do. It's about the only way I could ever really relate to people. Maybe that's why I'm such an easy host for him.
No one ever noticed that I changed, then. I think someone commented once that my hair looked a little spikier, but that's it. I can't even bring myself to be offended. I hadn't ever let anyone inside of me, so how could they tell when it wasn't really me anymore? It's my own fault.
What do you mean, I'm wrong? I know the truth. I was there, you weren't. I don't really like to contradict people, but it's just true. They hardly knew anything about me, so why should they have noticed that something changed? They complimented me on the Ring when I first got it. That's all they noticed. A big piece of jewelry. That's why I started to wear it underneath my clothes. If I were going to be noticed, I wanted it to be because of me, not the chunk of gold around my neck.
That, and because in some of the places where I've lived, I'd really rather not have been walking around with that. Bullies are nothing compared to some people out there. I wasn't going to invite them to become the latest participants in the game world, no matter how much they might've deserved it.
Yes, some of them did deserve it. Not all of them. Hardly any of them. Maybe one or two. Maybe one. But I didn't want it to happen to them no matter how much they did. It wasn't right.
But I'm really getting away from things. You still haven't said what it is you wanted to talk to me about. I wish you wouldn't laugh like that. It's very nice, but it kind of makes me feel silly. Like I should know something I don't.
Another kiss. Softer, sweeter, slower this time. I think you're kissing the very life from me, and I'd rather that you have it than anyone else. I hope he didn't hear that...
I think he did. But he's not saying anything. That worries me. He's going to want something, something from both of us for this. I don't think any of the Items. I don't know why, it's just a feeling I have. But he'll want something.
Why am I thinking about him when you're so close? It's a little hard not to. I've never been this close to you for this long without him either aware in my mind or taking over completely. Do you know how long I've watched you and wanted to talk to you like this? To be finally in your reach, and nothing's stopping anything...
You're right, I did say that out loud, and if this is just another of the dreams I've had, then it doesn't matter. If it's real, then it still won't matter because I won't be able to do this ever again, so I might as well take the chance while I can. It'll be the only one I ever have. Once I say the things on my mind, the things that have been boiling around where no one else knows about them, I'll probably never see you again on matter what.
You want to hear them? All right, here you go. Don't say I didn't warn you.
I think I like you. Like you as more than just a friend, even though I can't say we've ever really been friends. Like you in the way that you've been kissing me. Like you in the way that if you weren't in Yugi's body, in the body of my best friend, I'd probably have said something a lot sooner. Like you in the way so that if that were true, and I didn't have someone who hates you with every particle of his being inside of me, I know I would have said something a lot sooner.
I can't say that I know. Because I don't. I can only dream. It's impossible to know because of so many reasons. He's really only one of them. The most important and the one that really can't be gotten around as long as he's within me, of course. But just one of them.
There's also my father. He doesn't live with me, but he does keep in touch, a lot. I've never told him that he's never going to be a grandfather. I just can't do that. I like girls, as people. But the idea of dating one makes me want to curl up into the smallest ball possible and wait for it to go away. Fast.
I know how silly it is. But I just can't help it. They confuse me. I don't really know that much about them, and I don't want to. I can't even say I really prefer being around guys. They confuse me too. But I do know that whenever I've thought someone was very attractive, it wasn't ever once a girl. I've thought some were pretty. Anzu is pretty. I suppose Mai is. I can't say I really noticed, honestly. Shizuka's nice enough. Isis is nice looking too. That's about it, though. There are other girls in the class, and there's that fan club thing...that really bothers me, I'd just rather not let them know. I felt like such a piece of meat then. They were doing that just because they liked how I look. I almost really thought about cutting my hair, just to see if they would leave me alone.
We both know what happened with that, so let's just not talk about it anymore.
You have something else you want to talk about? That's right, we still haven't gotten to what you wanted to say. I said it before, and I'll say it again now. I'm a bad host.
Why do you kiss me every time I want to know what you're trying to talk to me about? I wish you'd just tell me what it is. I don't know how long he'll leave us alone, and when he comes back, he'll want to know everything, I'm sure. Even if I wanted to not tell him I couldn't. I've not been able to keep secrets from him in so long I just don't know any other way to be.
I think I'm falling in love with your kisses as much as I want to fall in love with you. That's right, I said it. I hope you don't mind. They're so strong, so full of life. It's the only way I know how to describe it.
Yugi's not going to mind you doing this, is he? I don't really know if he'd like kissing me. I'd hate to think you two argued over this.
You haven't told him you're doing this? He's asleep? In his soul room, I guess. I didn't know you'd...
Oh, you did tell him something. That you wanted to talk to me. Seriously, why aren't you, though? You just keep on kissing me. Not that I'm objecting. They're very delicious. Sweeter than a cream puff.
Yes, I had some before you came over. That's probably why I taste like them.
There I go blushing again. You shouldn't say things like that to me. I'm not a cream puff. Really, I'm not. Whatever makes you think I would be a cream puff?
Oh, right, the fluffy hair, the sweet taste of me...
You said that first. And now I'm really blushing. I feel like a six alarm fire. I can't be sweet. It's just not something I am.
All right, I won't argue with a Pharaoh. You sound rather strange saying that, I hope you know. But really, tell me what it is you...
Why can't you stop kissing me? Not that I really mind. They taste so delicious. I can't really put a name to them, I just like tasting you. Would you mind...
Ohh, it tastes as good to kiss you as it does for you to kiss me. Maybe even a little better. I can't even begin to describe it. It's better than cream puffs. A lot better. It's like tasteable bliss.
That was so silly. I'm glad I'm not a professional writer. They'd never get away with a description like that. But I guess it'll do.
What are you doing? You're touching my hair, and it feels so nice. I don't even remember my mother touching me quite like that there. Ohh, your fingers are on the back of my neck. You're making me shiver, and arch up. I suppose like a cat, if you say so. I've never had a cat. They make me sneeze, and their fur gets all over my sweaters.
No, my neighbors had one once, and it liked to sneak in the windows and curl up on my laundry before I'd put it away. That's how I know. But you're doing it again and I'm kind of arching up towards you, just like that cat did when someone petted it. Maybe I was a cat in a previous life. I'd prefer being a cat to having been a thief.
That was not the smartest thing to say. Yes, he's really going to want something to make up for this. I don't know what I'm going to have to do. I'm almost certain I won't see you again, even in classes. I wish there were something else I could do.
But so far I'm still with you, so I guess I'll take advantage of that. You probably should too, if you really want to say something to me.
And there we go with another kiss. Soft and sweet and strong, and your arms all around me, then you're pulling me into your lap. It's comfortable there. It doesn't matter than I'm really bigger than you are. It just feels right to be where I am. I don't think I want to leave. I know I have to. I can't stay like this, no matter how much I want to. If only I could...if only I really, really could be yours forever...
You want that too? You didn't say that, did you?
You did? You really want me? You want to be with me? I don't understand. I'm just nothing. A bad host. A horrible host, one that shouldn't have anything to do with anyone! You're a Pharaoh, if you should have anyone, it should be someone like...like Kaiba or Yugi or anyone who isn't me!
You're a god! You're the King of Games! You're everything that I could never be! I'm not even all that great at carrying an Item. A hat rack could do just as good at this as I could. He uses it better than I do. I just hold him.
You're so much more. You're untouchable, like the stars, the wind, the sun. The sun. That's it. You're the son of Ra. I'm not the son of an archeologist for nothing, you know. Pharaohs were the children of the god of the sun. How can you expect me to take you seriously when you say things like that?
I'm not the moon. The moon is beautiful and shimmers with all the light of the sun. It's nothing like what you're saying. You can't convince me like that. I know the truth.
The kisses are nice, though. So very nice. I want more of them. Maybe I can forget all these things and just remember the kisses. Dreams to hold on to, forever. What more can they ever be for me?
You have to leave one day. I know that, we all do. Even if we tried, you'll be on the other side. I won't see you again for years and years. If ever. I won't go to where you do. Part of my soul is still tied to him, and will be even when he goes, I think. I'll be chained to him forever.
If you see her anywhere, could you give my sister a message? I know it's silly, but it's the only way I could ever really hope to get something to her. Could you just tell her that I love her and I miss her? I write her a lot, still. I just don't really think she sees them anymore.
More kisses? All right. I can live with that. I feel like I'm being rained on by kisses. It feels so good. I want to do this again and again.
By the way, did we ever get it cleared up on just what it was you were coming here to tell me? I think we kind of got sidetracked along the way. It's all my fault, of course. I started spilling out everything that was in my mind, and the next thing I know you're kissing me and I can't think about anything else.
What do you mean you already told me what it is? Did I forget? I'm so sorry, I really should pay better attention. This has all been so distracting. Would you mind...
Such lovely kisses. They get better every time. No matter what you say, I can't believe you're enjoying this like I am. It just doesn't seem possible. But you seem like you're enjoying them, at least, so I won't argue with you on this. So, you were saying...
It feels so comfortable, so right being on your lap, in your arms. On your lips. I don't think I need to breathe as long as you're there. Which is so very silly but it's just how things feel. You're the air that I breathe. Very sweetly scented air as well. I can't imagine having lived this long with it, but I know I have. Now that we've tasted each other like this, I can't imagine going back to the way things were before.
But I know I will. He'll never let me near you again. I might be able to steal a glance at you when he's doing whatever it is he has planned, but that's about it. We'll never sit like this again. I'll never feel your arms around me again. I won't feel your lips on mine any more.
And that's quite enough of that I'm going to enjoy what I have and not worry about what tomorrow will bring. At least I have you now, and you have me. It's better than nothing. It will vanish at any second, and be just a memory, but it is what I have.
So I lean against you and I can feel you around me and your breath caresses my lips and I kiss you again and again, and there's so much warmth and so much light inside of me, driving away all the darkness that's built up since the day I was born, and all I want is that light and you and all I can feel is you and all I want is you, and it's so, so, so good...
No. I don't want to go. I can't let him take me away now. It's too soon! I haven't had enough yet! Don't do this! Not now! I know, you make the rules here, but why are you doing this now? I was happy for once!
Oh. That's why you did it. Because I was happy. But you want something, I've known since this began that you would demand a price for letting me have even a taste of what I barely knew I was getting into. So, what is it?
You want what?
To Be Continued