Disclaimer: Though it has been approximately four months, I have not managed to acquire SM or GW in this span of time. Come now. I work slow.
Hey again, minna-sama. :D Did you miss me? I missed me. XD I hope this chapter was worth the wait! And I thank you again and again for remaining patient with me. I really appreciate it. Thanks and enjoy!
Chapter 3: Serenity and Endymion
Kiwi-chan
5-15-05
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In Circle Seven, everyone wore red.
We were streaked with it, cleansed with it, stigmatized by it.
And it soon became obvious that the hours of rest weren't hours of relief. Rest, in Hell, didn't mean an absence of punishment; it meant, at best, an abatement of punishment. Because there was no access to water in our Circle; because there were no changes of clothes every six hours. It was perhaps only because of the preservatives – the something – in the air or blood that kept our consistently drenched clothing from deteriorating and rotting to unrecognizable heaps of red muck.
It was perhaps only our morals and consciences that kept us from doing the same.
"She said Miss Relena would be coming soon. Does that mean she will be coming to Hell?" Quatre looked both a bit worried and a bit relieved. "It'd be nice to see her again but … whatever did Miss Relena do wrong?"
Trowa shrugged. "Whatever did you do wrong?"
I think Quatre had an answer prepared in his mind but when it came time to voice it, he stumbled on its falseness. He looked ashamed and cast his eyes to the side.
"I did a lot of things wrong." And he left.
He didn't speak to us for the next two days and when he did, we spoke as if nothing had ever happened.
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Sometimes I just wished I could hear what she was thinking – what any of these girls that walk around like royalty but pass each day like sinners think. They all take long strides, with their heads held proudly to the point of arrogance; their figures are graceful, their idiosyncrasies increasingly endearing, their words increasingly meaningful. So meaningful that during each phase of rest they sleep heavily upon my chest, killing me with their sheer preponderance. I wish I could understand them.
There was a lingo in Hell. All hims and hers and that one times. At times it seemed as if they talk about me but the moments flit in and out of my awareness like a distant memory of a world that was once pretty. Sometimes it's easy to read Satan, when she stares mournfully at one of us or one of her friends, when her heart is so red, so vibrant and painfully beating on her sleeve that I just wanted to snatch it away, bite it into, and smear my hands with her blood – if only to get a taste of the pills of tragedy that she stored in it for safekeeping. But other times I can feel her eyes follow me and when I turn to meet them, she simply continues staring, undaunted, dark blue eyes empty and eerily blank as if she thought about taking my heart as well and becoming intimate with every drop of my blood.
Those moments were rare but evocative, punctuating my otherwise monotonous existence. They distracted me from my thoughts of Relena and when I would be able to see her again, how I would open my arms to her and apologize over, and over, and over again until she was satisfied. Let's try it one more time, Relena, I would say to her and a sweet smile would steal over her face until her eyes shone and she nodded her agreement.
They told us to call Satan Serenity. The name flowed off my tongue a lot more easily than her previous moniker, the s was gentler this time, speaking of a softly whispering mist instead of the viper-like hiss of that in Satan. In the meantime, they had taken to calling me Kitten. I say this with no small amount of ire and I have shown my obvious distaste for the nickname by never responding to it. They have long given up trying to call me over by a short squeal of "Kitty!" but sometimes I overhear a murmured Kitten followed by a small, embarrassed laugh.
It'd almost be funny if it didn't take place in Hell.
All was proceeding with ease and expediency until one day, when He dropped in to visit.
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"I'm not ready for this. Every time He comes, I'm not ready for it."
Minako reached over and patted her gently on the back. "Don't worry about it, Sere. Deep down, he's probably just as nervous as you are."
"Why would He be? He's not the one in Hell." She seemed to regret her words as she was speaking them but couldn't bring herself to curb them. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for."
Rei shook her head and stood up from the bed to tower over the other eight girls in the room. "You have a right to be angry. It was unfair what He did to you, what He did to all of us. And to think He had the nerve to tack a sin upon each of us when we decided to follow you. It's ridiculous what He did – you're not treacherous, Sere. It was He that dressed you in that word. You are not."
Minako smiled a little. "If anything, he should have assigned you gluttonous."
Haruka twisted her mouth in a most vivid expression of disgust. "Nine circles and nine exiles with one to rule them all." 1
Usagi's eyes seemed to sweep the room of its little happiness; they saw Hotaru the unbaptized child, Rei the carnal, Makoto the gluttonous, Haruka the miser, Setsuna the wrathful, Ami the heretic, Minako the hurtful, and Michiru the flatterer and hypocrite. Each, on their backs, right between scars from which the most delicate and unimaginably exquisite wings used to flap, had a number tattooed. Hotaru 1, Rei 2, Makoto 3, and so on. They were mistresses of that Circle for they exemplified the sins of that Circle, according to Him.
"I'm not ready for this," she murmured again.
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"There are too many rumors around here. The whole place reeks of them – rumors and blood." Quatre complained as we slogged out of the river and walked to the "common room." "Some really incredible stuff."
"Hiiro, ever heard of the myth of Serenity and Endymion?"
I glanced at Trowa and shrugged. "Of course. So?" The same question was mirrored in Quatre's deliciously aquamarine eyes as he gazed at Trowa expectantly.
"That's the only place the name Serenity shows up. Don't you think that … the Greeks perhaps knew what they were talking about?" He refused to meet Quatre's eyes and Quatre turned away a bit as if afraid to believe that pagans had the capability of being right in religious situations. Tension painted his knuckles white as he gripped the arms of his chair.
"Think about it. There are nine circles of Hell. There are twelve official Olympian gods excluding Hades. It might be stretching it a bit but … who knows?"
"A little problem – the myths name her Selene." Quatre looked at me approvingly.
Trowa shrugged as if he were only trying to fill up the silence with his theories. "I suppose we'll see when He comes."
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Perhaps in the back of my mind I'd always entertained the idea that God doesn't really exist in the definition we affix to the word. Even when I woke up and found myself reflected in the eyes of a silver lady who can be called either Serenity or Satan, I'd never let go of my previous beliefs. Sure, Satan was material but was God? At the peak of my imagination, God was a feeling if anything at all. God was a sense of security and a concept that stole Relena away from me. There was no way to murder God.
So when He did show up, I was more than a little taken aback. He was a creature of unfathomable beauty – His eyes were the color of the morning sky; in His hair rested the breath of night; His skin spoke of countless sunrises and sunsets; His face was sculpted with the majestic rises of mountains and smooth plains. And from the way Serenity gazed at Him, it was obvious He was the Atlas that carried her world upon his shoulders.
I think at that moment, the strings of pain from which Serenity had coaxed a tender melody snapped and with that imploring look to Him from her, I'd succumbed to an inexplicable wave of vulnerability that had only come to me in my nightmares. If she'd turned to me then and said, Kitten, come here, I would have obeyed.
But she didn't and so I didn't dare to move, hardly dared to breathe.
All of Hell was gathered in the vestibule for a holiday from punishment so He may rest his sky-colored eyes upon us and in one all-encompassing gaze render us all speechless.
I don't think He ever spoke in that vestibule. But there were traces of tears in His eyes though they remained just as beautiful and just as hard and cold. Behind Him, Serenity sobbed mutely.
There was a soft throb of harps and the sea of sinners stirred to look up. We had all not heard music in such a long time. Nine girls streamed into the vestibule, each with her own uniquely designed harp of ivory. The middle one, the one with four girls to either side of her approached Him first, knelt at His side, and began to sing, softly at first. The others soon joined her but I didn't notice for I could already taste that first girl's name on my lips.
Relena.
We were dismissed not long after, all of us realizing that though His presence warmed us, Serenity's touched us.
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None of us knew what to say on the way back down. He was so cold and so beautiful that it seemed as if it would take us all of two years to regain our breaths, our voices.
And Relena was there! Relena! Relena whom Satan said I would meet again. But I'd been so deceived. The distance between her and me was too wide to breach. Quatre looked disturbed and Trowa thoughtful (as per usual).
Minako walked up to greet us as we reentered the Circle.
"So you met Him. What did you think, Kitten?" She smiled a little at the fond nickname but it was the smallest smile she'd ever worn.
"I don't know." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Quatre nodding in agreement.
Trowa shifted and eyed Minako. "What exactly … what exactly is the relationship between Serenity and Him?" The words seemed to froth out of his mouth and he looked perplexed as to how to stop them. In my chest, the same questions were boiling but they cooled as the three of us turned expectantly to Minako.
She looked away first.
"That's a story for another time," she sighed. "But for now, you may refer to Him as Endymion."
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So how was it? I think I'm finally starting to formulate a theory about Satan's fall and perhaps it'll surprise you and perhaps it won't. : Isn't Kitten just adorable? XD I was getting tired of people calling Usagi that.
Footnotes:
1. Lord of the Rings-esque? XD
Replies:
Ashika
Wow, this fic is almost at its year and a half mark and I'm on my fourth installment ... I think I'm proud of myself. XD I'm glad you enjoy it. :
Luinfirith
I find it equally unbelievable that you love this story so much. XD Thank you!
Very-lazy-one:
I'll be sure to incorporate that quote somewhere. :D I didn't enjoy the Scarlet Letter very much … but after reading it I was caught up in the dialect.
Ivy Tearen:
One question that I've answered. :D And one request that I failed.
Kiboo no Hikari:
Only if you give me more cookies. :P Thank you:D
Tainted Spirit of Life:
Very religious, yes. XD Maybe I should have put it under religious as a genre … I didn't realize that genre existed until just recently.
DreamKeeper
I wish I could make everybody wonder. :
Anime Monster:
Capitalized Him is the way to refer to God. If you were thinking Endymion/Mamoru before…propz to you? XD
Smilez4ever:
Thank you! I don't have a plot in my mind. Goodness help me. :P
Lyra Hime:
Thank you! I feel like somebody's kid sister. XD
Cat Demon:
The tragedy of Relena going to Hell. --; I couldn't imagine it so it didn't happen per se
Angelight
What prompting? XD
Raining Blood Red Moon:
Lol I'm still wondering though I think it's definitely leaning more towards a yes … but I'm lazy and mired in the status quo. Forgive me for now. XD
Kail Ceannai:
I think I made Quartre annoying. --; Which is entirely unintentional considering he's one of my favorite characters. This is depressing. XD Thank you!
MissAnnThropy2600:
Thank you! I'm all flustered and blushing. XD
AnimeSiren
Maybe later, maybe later. --; Sorry to disappoint.
Sere Star:
Yes, we really need to work on the updating. XD
Serenity77:
I think I expressed myself wrongly in the last chapter. In my mind, I imagined that once per every couple of hours, Satan's cuts will reappear but they then heal over. Because they can't reappear if they stay there the whole time. See? I should go back and clarify. --;
Concrete Tenshi:
Redemption? Perhaps there is no need for redemption: And vibrant is a very vibrant word. :
Ja Rule:
I just want to go to sleep. XD But instead I am typing and studying physics. --; Thanks for your advice! It's not that I'm not taking it. It's that I'm trying to get this out as soon as possible and go back to dear old physics. XD
BLACKAURAsama
Goodness I love you. XD I wonder what you're like in person. :