Inspired by The Nanny, episode Kissing Contest.

One-shot two (The opinions of celebs/heroes in this fic aren't really mine.)

"I don't believe you!" Several stupid stunts have been pulled before, but this had to be the most stupid of them all.

The ridiculous changeling was drooling over an advertisement photo of a moped, Jessica Simpson on the seat, wearing a pair of orange goggles and a long white designer scarf. Underneath the picture, the large red subtitles read 'Wanna ride in the back? Enter my kissing contest this Saturday and you could win a free moped, as well as a spot in my new video!'

"You're insane."

Beast Boy looked up at her in irritation. He was sitting on the couch in the Main room, Raven looking over his shoulder at the newspaper clipping. Today, Starfire and Robin were going out on their first date. But, according to Robin, it wasn't a date. And to prove it, he insisted Cyborg come along. So they were alone, and frankly, the storm outside made things a little more tolerable. "What's your deal? I could get in a video with Jessica Simpson, and even better, I COULD FINALLY WIN MY MOPED!"

Her eyes rolled. "This obsession you have with mopeds cannot be healthy."

Beast Boy let out a scoff, and read the rules of the contest while speaking. "Hey, I see nothing wrong with mopeds."

"Says the obsessed," Raven muttered. Taking a seat on the couch next to him, Raven picked up the controller, but the TV wouldn't turn on. "What the?"

The next thing they knew, the power in the Tower (A/N: I rhymed! Yay!) went out.

"Oh, great! Now I can't read the entry rules! And Saturday is tomorrow!" The green changeling complained.

"I think we have bigger problems than that Beast Boy." Raven said, and tried to get in touch with the other Titans. "The communicator's out."

Beast Boy groaned loudly. "Greater! Now what?"

The windows might have been tall and wide, but the lightening was very brief and didn't provide much light. Lifting a cushion off the couch and finding the emergency Coleman lamp, Raven said, "We wait for the storm to pass. If it gets bad, then we go to the basement shelter. There isn't anything else to do."

"No, I meant to pass the time. I mean, you read and all that good stuff, but I'M A TALKY PERSON! I TALK TO PEOPLE, SILENCE SCARES ME!"

Since he was currently yelling in her face, Raven had no problem in saying, "I couldn't tell."

Grunting, Beast Boy crossed his arms and legs, and looked in a different direction, then back at Raven again. "Well, can we at least talk?"

Raven sighed. "As long as you promise that the subjects we talk about will not include gross body facts, video games, or tofu."

His eyes widened. He wasn't sure what else there was to talk about, but frankly, he was desperate. "Okay. Deal!" Happy that she was willing to talk Beast Boy scooted closer, and with a cheery grin, he began to speak. "So, did you have a nice day?"

Raven put her chin on her hands. "I suppose."

Much later, they were actually buried deep in conversation. "No way, Wonder Woman could kick Batman's ass and you know it!"

"Please! She totally likes him! She doesn't have the guts to kick his ass!"

"Uh…delusional much? There is NOTHING between those two!"

"Give me a break! There's always been sexual tension!"

"You give me a break! What in the world could be between them?"

"Oh come on! The way they fight? It's obvious! There's enough chemistry between them to fill an entire science room."

"I say again, you are totally delusional."

"Hell no, you're just totally oblivious."

"Whatever."

"You whatever."

"Pssh!"

"Hmph!"

After a very brief pause, things started up again. "Okay, what about The Flash and Hawk Girl?"

Raven flashed him a look of disgust. "We all know The Flash will flirt with anyone, but let's be serious."

Beast Boy laughed a little before giving in. "Okay, okay. I admit there's nothing on that one."

Raven sat back, and rolled her eyes. "Along with all the other impossible couples you've noted so far."

"Nothing impossible about any of it. You just have no faith in romances. Like Nick Lache and Jessica Simpson!"

Raven scoffed. "Oh please, don't tell me you're back to her."

Beast Boy shrugged, and in a way that couldn't get anymore stereo-typical male, he said, "She's hot."

Looking around, Raven found the article Beast Boy was looking at before, and observed Jessica with a critical, but biased eye. "Her teeth are clearly capped, that tan's artificial, her hair isn't natural, and her chest is unnatural." Her words had a venomous bite of jealousy to them. She would never admit it out loud, but she had to admit that she really felt a…certain attraction for Beast Boy. He had a corny and somewhat annoying sense of humor, but she loved how he was so optimistic and compassionate. It was similar to Starfire, but Starfire was really too emotional in general. Raven could sense that Beast Boy still kept some emotions of his own hidden beneath the surface. That was another one of his endearing qualities. But that wasn't all. It would seem impossible to be physically attracted to a green person with elf-ears but…low and behold. That was as far as it went though. She liked his emotional optimism and compassion, and was physically attracted to him, but that was it. Nothing further.

"So she's got a lot of fake. She's still hot."

Almost afraid to ask, Raven said, "And what about Pam?"

A ridiculously large grin illuminated his face. Although, it did look rather pleasing in the soft light of the Coleman lantern. The sharp green of his face was lessened with the orange glow. "Oh, do you even have to ask?"

"You'd like feeling up a water balloon?"

Beast Boy shrugged again. "Hey, size doesn't matter." (A/N: It is a proven fact that most men prefer regular breasts over im/de-plants! YAY!)

Raven did a double-take. "Then where's the appeal?"

Beast Boy held up a gloved hand, and made a list. "She's got great hair."

"Fake."

"Her eyes are hot."

"Probably colored contacts."

"She's got a good face."

"A countless amount of foundation, mascara, lipstick, and eyeliner."

"Her tan is unbelievable."

"Artificial lotion, again."

"Must you critique?"

"Must you drool?"

The constant back-and-forth between them was always an interesting battle. Beast Boy knew he had the ammo to beat her, but usually he would just let her win at her mean sarcastic remarks. If she found out that he had the ability to out-wit her, then maybe she wouldn't play these verbal duels with him anymore. And admittedly, that was the most enjoyable part of their relationship. And if he was being REALLY honest, he loved her little come-backs. Raven was smart, and wasn't afraid to show her brains. That was a quality he really admired in her. Raven really didn't realize how pretty she was, and for some odd reason, that just added to her appeal. But nothing was beyond that. He liked her intelligence and her keen wit, and he no doubt had a physical attraction to her, but that was it. Nothing further.

"I didn't drool over her. I just said she was hot."

Raven shook her head, and let out a breath. "Getting hungry?"

Beast Boy grinned sheepishly. "Kinda."

They got up, and went to the kitchen, and sat at the bar stools briefly. "Alright. We have to conserve the cold in the fridge. So decide what you want, I'll decide what I want, and we'll have to get it out."

He nodded in understanding. "Gotcha!" Using one hand, he leapt over the counter, and waited in front of the fridge. "What do you want?"

After thinking briefly, Raven said, "Just the olives, cheese, sliced turkey, and the mayo."

Beast Boy's eyes widened. "Want a cherry on top to go with it?"

"What do you think the olive's for?"

He grinned again, and braced himself. "Ready." Using her telekinetic powers, Raven opened the door, and as soon as Beast Boy said "Done," she slammed it shut. He handed her the items she requested, and Raven used her powers again to open the cupboards and drawers to get out the necessary silverware and bread, along with some other non-refrigerated ingredients. Beast Boy plopped on the opposite side of the counter, and watched her prepare her sandwich as he ate his non-dairy yogurt. One bizarre item came after the other. "What in the heck are you making?"

Raven looked up at him only briefly before returning to the making of her sandwich. "It's called a Dagwood Beast Boy."

"A What-Wood?"

Letting out an exasperated breath, Raven tried to explain. "A Dagwood. It's a sandwich made up of unusual components."

"Subtitles? Closed-captioning for the hearing impaired?"

Sighing in aggravation, Raven said, "A sandwich made of unusual ingredients."

"Ohhh. I get it!" Beast Boy nodded. "I gotta admit it doesn't look tasty."

Raven looked up as she spiked an olive with a toothpick. "You say that for the simple fact that you're a vegetarian."

Beast Boy smiled at that. After they finished eating, they found themselves back on the couch. Raven was lazily tracing the pattern on the seat of the couch. "Can I get my book yet?"

"No!"

"We stopped talking two minutes ago." Raven reminded him.

"You just won't let me think up a game we can play."

"I already told you that I refuse to play Truth Or Dare, or any rendition of; I also said I won't play 20 questions; and I'm not even going to touch the subject of I Have Never. What more could one play?"

Beast Boy sucked in a breath through his teeth, and a light bulb suddenly appeared above his head. "I've got it! We can play Who Would Win."

Raven gave him another odd look. "Okay, it's not really a game. More like a debate. What you do, is choose a pair of people to challenge each other, and ask someone else who they think would win between the two."

A little curious, Raven tilted her head in slight interest. "And the challenge?"

Beast Boy spread his arms. "Whatever you decide!"

Raven liked the sound of this. It had potential to be, dare she say it? Intellectually stimulating. "Alright Beast Boy, I'll play along."

Delighted, Beast Boy took a seat on the floor, and sat cross-legged. "Okay, you can go first!"

Thinking up a pair of people, she announced the first challenge. "Who would win in a battle of strength: Starfire, or Superman?"

His mouth puckered in an impressive whistle. "Nice one."

"Thank you."

He put a finger to his chin, and thought about it carefully. "Well, they're both really strong. Okay, let's see...how would you go about picking who's stronger in this challenge?"

Raven crossed her legs, a defensive action. "They would be given a certain amount of weight to hold up, and weight would be continuously added until one of them gave up."

Beast Boy nodded. "Ookaaay…let's see…I'm thinking…Superman. Just because he's been in the business longer than Starfire."

Raven accepted the answer, and waited for Beast Boy's question. "Very well then. What's your question?"

Beast Boy squinted as he eyed the ceiling, trying to appear as though he was thinking deeply about a question. "Okay, who would win in a 'hotness' contest: ME," he gave her a sly smile, and put his hands on his hips in a 'manly' way; "Or Nick Lache?"

Always one to hide her personal feelings, Raven said, "Nick."

His elfin ears drooped. "Aw come on, you've gotta give it more thought than that!"

Raven uncrossed her legs, and put her hands on her knees. "You didn't mention any specific kind of time limit or requirement when you informed me of the rules."

Disappointed, Beast Boy hugged his knees. "Fine, it's your turn."

Deciding to let up on him, and give him a chance to get her back, Raven said, "Okay. To you, who would win in a 'hotness' contest: me, or Jessica?"

He looked up, and his eyes shined with bright honesty. "You."

Stunned, Raven scooted back on the couch a little more. "I-I meant Jessica SIMPSON."

Beast Boy nodded. "Yeah, I know who you meant."

Confused, Raven shook her head in denial. "But you were just saying how hot she was."

To that, he shook his head. "Yeah, but you're hotter."

Raven didn't really know what to say to that. Thankfully, Beast Boy had sensed that. "You don't need to say anything," he muttered, and his eyes shifted in another direction.

Feeling guilty that Beast Boy was willing to admit the truth, Raven said, "Yes I do. You'd...well…in MY opinion…you'd…probably…beat out Nick in a hotness contest."

He looked up at her again. "You don't have to try to make me feel better Raven."

A teeny smile appeared on her lips. "Yes I do."

Beast Boy noted the honesty in her smile. Happy, he jumped back onto the couch next to her. "Okay. My turn right?"

Raven nodded timidly and pulled her hood down, revealing the ashen face.

"Alright who do you think would win in that kissing contest? Me or Nick?"

Raven nearly laughed, but didn't want to let out that much emotion. Or give in to the vow of the changeling. "Well, if you mean the one Jessica's hosting, then in that case I would definitely say Nick. Only because she's used to his kissing and probably has grown to love it."

Beast Boy crossed his arms. "Yeah I guess so. She's probably gonna judge us kissers according to Nick too…damn! I've seen the way he kisses her; I don't have a chance!"

"So have I," Raven said.

"And?"

Raven shrugged. "It all seems rather staged to me. They know they're being filmed, so you can never be sure what their real relationship is like. And they're actors; kissing on camera is nothing more than professional media stunts."

Beast Boy tilted his head in acknowledgement. "Probably, but the kissing that they do is pretty steamy."

"In reference to the waterfall I suppose?"

Beast Boy laughed. "Well, I mean they always seemed to know what they're doing."

Raven still didn't look impressed; proving it by crossing her arms indifferently. "Professional training, nothing more."

He smiled. "Come on, nothing works better than good hard practice!"

Embarrassment settled in. "I wouldn't know."

Beast Boy's ears cocked in interest. "What do you mean? You've never been kissed before?"

Feigning indifference this time, Raven shrugged, and turned her head. "I live in a giant T, I'm a super-heroine, I don't have an active social life, and I'm a half-demon. Not a lot of opportunity."

Beast Boy gave her a look of pity. Oh, if there was one thing she hated besides her father… "Don't give me that look. I know I'm not missing much."

The shape-shifter let out a laugh that was lacking in any of his usual humor. "How do you know what your missing if you haven't even had it yet?"

Taking the correct assumption that Beast Boy had already been kissed before, she turned back to him, and with a challenging glance, said, "Alright, what am I missing?"

Beast Boy took up a seat next to her on the couch as he explained, his face serious and sincere. "If you ask me, you're missing out on something really nice. Kissing is kind of…nice Raven."

Raven didn't think that was good enough, and told him so. To that, he replied, "Well, it's hard to describe. I mean, kissing is really special. It can be the most natural thing in the world, and at the same time, the scariest. If you really care about the person you're kissing, then it can get…really sensual."

At least his vocabulary was expanding. Turning so she could face him, Raven continued to listen. Something was happening to his voice. It was becoming low and husky, contradicting that sort of high-pitched rasp she had gotten used to. His vocals had dropped several octaves, and his speech was slowed; he seemed almost…seductive. "If you're with someone who knows what their doing, then your own performance won't really matter the first few times. You just know that someone is making you feel good; that you don't notice anything else. And it becomes the most natural thing in the world. Real kisses have to be romantic…"

Mesmerized by the deep edge his voice was taking, Raven drew closer to him. "They have to be…stirring."

She watched as he moved closer to her. "They have to be…spontaneous."

Raven's lids had lowered, but she realized that at the last word of his sentence, Beast Boy's tone had returned to normal. Opening her eyes, it occurred to her just how close their faces were. Inching back uneasily, Raven cleared her throat. "Is it my turn?" She asked squeakily.

Beast Boy nodded violently. Raven licked her lips, then looked at Beast Boy again. His eyes were alight with a strange emotion, but considering the boundaries they were already crossing, she didn't want to explore it. Fiddling with her cape, Raven tried to form the coherent thoughts necessary to ask a question. Then, a question that had been burning in her mind for ages reared its head. She truly didn't want to ask it, since she had prided herself on being nonchalant in the matters of appearance and vanity. But if all this was nothing more than a game, then she could merely target the question as a curiosity inquiry. "Who do you think looks prettier…me, or Starfire?"

Beast Boy's eyes widened. He didn't expect a question like that. Not just because it wasn't like Raven, but the way she said it worried him a little. It wasn't the usual monotone that Raven tended to use. It actually had a hint of insecurity. Insecurity that he found to be not only unusual, but rather disconcerting as well…wait…was that the right word? Anyway, at the rate things were going, he was probably going to have to find a way to ask her straight-out how she felt about him. They had almost kissed, and the tension between them was as dense as fog.

"Well, if I put you above Jessica Simpson, who's at the top of the heap, then you'd definitely have to beat Starfire; no offense intended to her anyway."

Raven's eyes sparkled, and her mouth opened slightly. He knew a flattered look when he saw one, and that was definitely flattered. Looking down in shame at her own question, as well as her reaction, Raven said, "Thank you."

One side of his mouth quirked up. "Sure." In a desperate attempt to lighten the mood while getting under her skin, Beast Boy thought his next question over with care. A smile shined on his face when he thought of a query. "Okay, who would you rather give you your first kiss, Nick Lache, or me?"

Raven looked up at him again, and her eyes widened. Obviously trying to avoid the question, she hugged her knees, similar to the way he had done so earlier, and said meekly, "Well, that's not really a battle or a challenge."

He dropped his legs to the floor, and put his hands on the adjacent cushion. "Well then would you mind if I gave you your first kiss?" His voice was sober, pleading, and quiet; in other words, begging for an answer.

Raven looked at her knees. She should just evaporate into the wall. Just leave him and the subject alone. But there was another part of her wanted to explore this. Find out how far things could go. And that part was getting dangerously close to breaking the glass on the coffee table. In a move that was entirely against her character, Raven used the soles of her feet to shuffle around until her back was to Beast Boy. "We really shouldn't talk about this."

Violently, and too quick for Raven to react, Beast Boy grabbed her shoulders, and pulled her until she was lying in his lap, looking up at him. His face was firm, his jaw set, and his eyes flaming with determination. He looked incredible. "Not really."

Without warning, he rose his leg, and craned his neck. Her eyes widened before his lips clamped on hers in a voracious grasp. There wasn't time to react to anything as he used his lips to pry hers open, and pushed his tongue inside, spiking the passion buried deep within her. Uncontrollably, she arched up, and threw her free arm around his neck. His tongue was greedy, probing her mouth without inhibitions, delving for more. She should have been frightened by his unabashed fervor, but it only served to excite and inflame her more. Wiggling her sandwiched arm out of its bizarre position, Raven moaned as Beast Boy ran his hand in a butterfly caress down her side.

She didn't know what was wrong with her. Her temperature was rising to an impossible degree; her entire body was awash in pleasure, and she could actually feel herself kissing him with equal hunger. Remembering the story of Eve taking a bite of the forbidden fruit, Raven smiled against Beast Boy's lips as she thought that no taste could come even close to the exquisite flavor she was experiencing. His breath held a hint of tofu, but for the most part he tasted of heat, spice, and sweetness. Her body shook with giddy delight, and her tongue stroked further against his in a desperate attempt to savor the delicious taste.

The breath in her gone, Raven yanked back, and started panting. He was out of breath as well, and his pupils were dilated. She licked her tingling lips, noticing that they were a bit swollen. "Um…are you okay?"

She nodded eagerly, and looked around. Apparently, she was oblivious enough not to notice that the glass on the TV had cracked, and the coffee table was in pieces. "But the Tower probably isn't."

Turning back to him, she noticed the blush against the green skin. "Hehe…I'm sorry."

Not wanting to let go of such an incredible rush so soon, Raven tried to reassure him with a tiny smile. "I'm not."

Beast Boy let out a breath of relief at that smile. Not only was it one of the most heartwarming things he had ever seen, it meant that she had no regrets, just as he had. He looked at her bizarre place in his lap, and realized how uncomfy the whole position was. Beast Boy carefully lifted her, and tried to help her sit, but he surprised her by moving and adjusting her legs to the point where she was straddling his lap. A load of devilish possibilities went through his mind at this new relationship. As Raven started to tenderly kiss his cheek, he told her, "Thanks for helping me practice Raven."

Her kisses going up to his lids now, Raven hummed out, "Hmm?"

Getting a little distracted at the sexy half-demon in his lap, Beast Boy removed the disrupting leotard. "I mean for the contest. I'll be sure to win after that."

To his disappointment, Raven stopped and immediately drew back, her eyes wide and disbelieving. "What?"

He shot her a charming smile. "Well come on! You're a really good kisser Raven! I about had a heart attack just now!"

Her jaw dropped for a second, then Raven put her hands on his shoulders for balance. "What makes you think I'm gonna let you enter?"

Laughing, Beast Boy drew her down to the couch. After about ten seconds, he sat up again. "But…I wanna moped."

She sat up with him, and put a hand behind his head. "I can buy you one."

His eyes wide with triumph, Beast Boy shouted, "Hot damn," before Raven yanked him back down.

OMG! 4:35 a.m. and my brain died. I may, or may not post future one-shot's in this story. I'm not sure so please keep begging to a minimum, lol j/k. Thanks for reading! I was worried about continuity in this one.

Magz.