A/N: Okay, well this is a shorter chapter than most I do, but I don't know what the trend for this story will be on that. One thing that is important to know is that Rinna/Cory, is Darry's girlfriend. Her real name is Corinne, but Darry calls her Rinna, and everyone else calls her Cory. Other thing is that this might be confusing to all of you. Just hang tight, it will all be explained as time goes on. And if you think Pony is over reacting, think again. He is depressed. People that are depressed do that, to us it is over reaction, to them…its how they feel. So I think that covers it. Hope you enjoy

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I walked in from the cold winter air, our house refusing to acknowledge my existence. Then again, it was shelter even as much as I might hate it. It wasn't much warmer than the biting air, but at least the wind didn't hit my bones. Darry liked to keep the bills down, so when no one was home we turned the heat off, and at night it was switched off too. Like the house went dead with the sun.

It was silent in there, the disastrous mess still strewn all over the front room from the chaos of the morning routine, one we have never perfected since mom left. I wished I could love that house, like everyone else did. They called it home, and embraced it, thinking only good memories. But the house only brought me pain. I wanted my parents back, and my friends. More than ever, it all killed me. I lived in fear of loving something, for I might lose it. I couldn't be happy anymore. My brothers were there, sure, but how did I know they wouldn't leave me too? I didn't.

Slowly, I made my way to my room, having finally moved away from Soda's room of comfort. It wasn't that I had stopped having nightmares, they were more frequent than ever on the contrary. It was the simple fact that I couldn't depend on Soda to make me feel better anymore. It made me feel worse when he pitied me, it was my fault all this had happened. So why should I ask him to feel pity? I couldn't, it was hypocritical, one more thing I couldn't handle. So I asked to leave, and now I spent my nights hardly sleeping, afraid of letting the darkness overtake me.

My room wasn't much better than the rest of the house. It was messy, smelled of dirty laundry, and looked like the inhabitant had left years before, having neglected to clean it. Well, in essence I had. I didn't really care what the room was like. Darry had been bothering me to clean it for weeks, but the only time it came anywhere near clean was when he swept through it for my clothes to wash. I knew it was making him mad, and maybe I would clean it soon, just to get him off my back, keep up my happy face. But my energy was gone. I almost didn't care if they knew how unhappy I was now. Deep down I was telling myself it would be better if they knew and could help. But on the surface it was clear that that would only make things worse. Darry and Soda would never understand. Darry was too tough and Soda was too happy all the time. They didn't know what unhappiness was.

I plopped down on my bed thinking of how nice a nap would be, but knowing that I needed to get my homework done. I pulled out my books. Math, the most worthless exercise the school system could come up with for us. An English book to read, a most intellectual fiction of nothingness. Science of Biology papers, the best thing humanity could come up with for the meaning of life, a true lie. And last, but not least painful and pathetic, was Spanish, a required elective of language, and one that I hated mostly in part to the fact that I ruin enough lives in the English speaking world to want to impose on the Spanish speaking too.

Starting in on math first, I drudged through it thinking that dinner should be put on soon. But I ignored the thought, Darry could make it for once. I would rather get lost in the pointless math than cook any day. At the very least, it was hard to think and feel sorry for yourself while working on a pointless math problem, where as, cooking was a trap of flowing thoughts. That was mostly why I avoided things such as cleaning and cooking, I didn't even watch sunsets anymore. All of those required my mind to occupy itself, which was a disastrous trend. So I engulfed my world with books, school work, running, and whatever else required my mind to be busy on something worth while, or rather, something other than me.

I soon lost myself again, only to be interrupted by the door being flung open and slammed shut.

"Hey! Anyone home?" It was Soda. Gotta love him.

"In here." I told him, without yelling that time.

He stuck his head in, "How's it goin?"

"Uh…good. Just homework."

"What's for dinner?"

"I dunno. I was supposed to make something but…" I trailed off. It had to be obvious that I didn't care.

He shrugged, "Okay. Well…I guess I'll get started on it after I get out of the shower." Then he left. It was only customary for him, being a mechanic, to take a shower as soon as he got home.

Darry walked in a while later. I didn't get up, just kept at my more than pointless homework. At the time, its sole purpose was to keep me from having to talk to anyone. Soda was in the kitchen banging pans though, so it was harder than usual to concentrate.

"Hey, I'm home!" Darry called out. He always did. It was like his presence was all that mattered or something. He was wrong.

"Welcome back." Soda joked from the kitchen. Lucky for me, Darry headed there before my room. I expected he would come in and lecture me straight away. I was grateful for the time he was giving me.

But the conversation I heard once the pots stopped banging was more than I had bargained for.

"Why?"

"Dunno. Just said no."

It went silent a minute. There was some shuffling around, and a sigh, but not much more that I could hear. I wondered what it was they were talking about, exactly.

"So how was work?"

"Stressful as usual. Rinna came by at lunch, brought me a home cooked meal. So that was good at least."

"Yeah. How are things with her? You haven't been out in a while, have you?"

"Nah, she's been busy, and I'm a little worried about Pone, so…she comes over to lunch a lot."

"Yeah. You getting serious yet? I mean, it's been a few months and all."

"We've talked."

"About?"

Darry paused, "Things."

"So when are you going to ask her then?" Soda pushed teasingly.

"Mmmnnn…haven't decided yet. I want her to come over here some more…its just that with Pony the way he is …"

"You aren't sure that would be good. I know what you mean."

It went silent again, but only a few moments passed before Soda spoke up again.

"I'm really worried, Dar. He's not the same. I swear he doesn't have friends and he's started acting different. I knew it would turn out this way, I should have known it was only a matter of time."

"Yeah, I know. I'm worried too. But, we can't do anything about it. I mean, I really wish I could, but I don't know what to do. I can't force kids to be his friend, and of course they don't want to be with him the way he is. I can't make him be happy. I mean, can you really blame him? His best friend died, he has no parents, and everything is in shambles. What do I do?"

His words stabbed me deep. Yeah, everything was in shambles. Johnny was gone, so was Dal. The gang was hurting, no matter what act of happy faces they put on; for me or themselves. I wanted to cry, and tears welled up in my eyes, but I pushed them down. Poker Face, I kept telling myself. It wasn't just for my brothers, it was for me, for Johnny.

"Maybe we should do more family things. Even if Cory is there…I mean, she has to deal with him too, if you plan to marry her." Soda cut into my thoughts.

"Yeah…I just don't know how he will take it."

I wanted to lash out about then. He wasn't sure if I would take it well? I hated that girl. She was too demanding and annoying for me. I couldn't live with her. I would go somewhere else if he married her. She would just come in here and think she owned the house.

"Well...hey, what if we start with some parties first. I can go to 'em, I know all the kids and all. There's one tomorrow night. So, start with that, and then bring Cory into the picture."

"Only if you go with him and make sure he don't get drunk or anything. I think that might be good. Make some friends that way."

That was the end of my rope. He thought a party would do me good? God! No way in hell was I going to a party! The people there would just ridicule me. I was now known as that kid that killed the soc, or the run away, or dirty greaser by the socs. A party would only hurt my rep more.

I left my room, and stormed into the kitchen.

"Stop talking about me!" I screamed. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't even tell them how I felt, why, or where it got started. All I knew, all I cared was that it was the way it was.

"Whoa. Buddy…" Soda searched my face.

"Don't do that! I'm sick of this! You always talking about me! Trying to set up fucking plans for me. I don't want more friends!" I burst into tears, but didn't stick around for a hug. I ran out the door. Running on automatic usually did me some good. It felt good anyhow. But I wouldn't go to that party. No way in hell. The thought engulfed me, and I ran and ran, not knowing where I might be headed. But I knew one thing. My poker face was all but gone.

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Now for Review Responses:

Sandra Athrenael: Wow, thanks. Yeah, I decided to continue. It took me long enough, I know. But I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last.

BoboTheSemiDeadCat: Not soon, but finally updated. I sure hope you like how it did develop. More to come another time!

Keira: Thanks. I enjoyed writing it. And I think that Mrs. Paul finally appreciated my potential, yeah? Anyway, hope you enjoy this one….if you haven't already read it…I dunno. Well, see ya later.

Taurus: LOL. Thanks…Im great at dark stuff, if you cant tell… well, this is the first time I have ever tried this with Pony too…so we'll see if I can pull it off well. Lol. See ya round!

Tensleep: Im so glad that you like it. I had a lot of fun with that one. Inspiration is a great thing when it comes to me. Well, talk to ya later!

animalsare4life: Thanks a ton! I hope you enjoy the update.

Malara: Thanks, this was my first extended metaphor t succeed, so im excited that you liked it and it caught your attention. Hope you like the rest of what's coming.

Oblivious Misconception: Wow, thanks. I had a lot of fun with this, and I'm so happy you liked it. I hope that you enjoy the rest as much as the first! Thanks for all your support.