The Birth of The Emoticons
"Prime, I think you'll want to see this" The metallic voice called over the comm-unit. Optimus Prime stifled a heartfelt sigh as he transformed, "why walk when you have wheels" was his philosophy, and went to see what all the fuss was about.
Bumblebee was sitting on the floor of autobot headquarters in front of their antiquated computer, Teltran1. He fidgeted on the cold metal floor and wondered for the millionth time why the autobots had never bothered with chairs.
He turned his head, optical sensors glowing in the gloom, at the sound of an approaching vehicle. Optimus Prime transformed arthritically and limped over to Bumblebee, trying not to wince. Bumblebee could understand, none of them were getting any younger and they seemed to have been forgotten by the world.
He shook his head ruefully, rusty metal squealing in protest as he did so, back in the 80's they were all the rage, all over the news, the kids loved them, now, barely 25 years later, no one remembered them. Yet here they remained, waiting for their chance to once again be cool.
"What is it Bumblebee, I was very busy having a nap, and Changing Rooms is on in a minute" grumbled Prime
"Teltran's picked up some new Decepticon activity," Bumblebee said, trying to contain his excitement.
Prime squinted short-sightedly at Teltran's tiny monitor, another example of how outmoded they had become, Teltran was supposed to be the most sophisticated computer ever devised, Yeah 25 years ago, Prime thought.
On the screen several tiny robot figures seemed to be running around a city terrorising humans, but as he finally managed to get his optics working properly, Prime realised that the humans were laughing at the tiny robots, who were no taller than human children. The tiny robots looked agitated and confused at the human reaction.
Bumblebee managed to get the audio working just in time for them to see one of the new Decepticons transform. Prime watched with abated breath, wondering what kind of insidious weapon the enemy had come up with this time. But instead of the fighting machines he expected to see, the tiny robot transformed into a large yellow face, with round black eyes, no nose and a black line for a mouth that was curved in a smile, a red tongue sticking out as if it had been drawn on.
Upon seeing this, the humans started to laugh even louder, some of them falling to the floor and weeping with mirth. Prime tried to keep the surprise from his voice as he turned to Bumblebee.
"It looks like the Decepticons are more desperate than we are!"
"Yeah," agreed Bumblebee "Who'd of thought it."
By now all of the tiny robots had transformed, all of them into the same yellow face, only wearing a different expression. One smiled, another wore a huge grin, another had a slight tinge of green to it and looked as if it wanted to be sick, whilst another burst into tears and wept continuously.
One of the faces, this one wearing a permanent look of surprise, rolled forward "Cower before the might of the Emoticons!" It bellowed.
That was it for the humans, Prime couldn't see a single one left standing, and there were howls of laughter, some of the humans looked like they might need medical attention if they didn't breath soon. Out of the view of the image Prime heard Megatrons voice, he sounded bitter as he spoke to someone off camera
"You can tell that bloody Microsoft Corporation that this is the last time we agree to help them!"
The reply could only have been Soundwave, no other robot in the history of the universe sounded that boring,
"They call it publicity, mighty Megatron."
"I call it a waste of my time. Look at them, the humans think its funny, we'll be a bloody laughing stock. The Decepticons are not supposed to be amusing." Megatron snarled the last word.
Prime chuckled and turned away from the monitor,
"Thanks Bumblebee, its good to see Megatron looking like a prat"
Bumblebee nodded happily and went back to playing Tetris on the highly advanced Teltran1, sighing impatiently as the game slowed down as it consumed the mighty computer's resources.
Optimus Prime sank contentedly to the floor in front of his old black and white television, slowly turning the tuning dial so he could watch his programs. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day the Autobots would be back, and they would be cool again…
Disclaimer:I DO own Transformers, although most of them have lost their guns and I don't have the boxes any more… This work is my own; I'm not claiming any link to Transformers or the people that own it.
AN:I wrote this in about ten minutes for a laugh after a strange MSN Messenger conversation, if you don't like it, fair enough, its written for fun, I wont lose any sleep over it!