Beautiful

by SmolderingEMBERS-of-A-brokenHearT

When Leena's mother died, she left her with a home, money, and an alcohol ridden guardian who abused her. When trying to end the pain, she meets our two Jedi, everything changes. Soon, she learns about love and trust. Can they really overcome everything?

6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I woke up with more cuts on my arm. I don't remember doing them, but I know I must have. The first cuts have healed into scars, matching the long jagged ones on my back.

I had dreamt about Obi-Wan. He loved me, and I loved him, as I still do. But then, there was always Padme. Always getting in the way. Why did I have to fall for the man I can't have? Why?

I thought of my mother also... what would she think if she saw me now? Cutting myself. It's almost as if I am yearning for the pain Exil-Reytal had inflicted on me. That would go away with time, but this heartbreak seems to go on forever. I really do just want it to stop.

I got out of bed, got dressed in a long sleeved navy gown, preparing for lunch. I had slept late again. Anakin and I were going out into town, leaving Padme and Obi-Wan the apartments. I can only imagine what kind of stuff will happen, especially since Padme had a hickie at breakfast the other day. Gross.

She seems so happy all the time, and so blind to my emotions. She's always talking about Obi-Wan's thoughts about Anakin. As if I want to hear! I haven't talked to Obi-Wan since that day I heard he and Padme on the balcony. I leave the room every time he comes in, and Padme knows why. She's figured it out. I wonder if she's told Obi-Wan yet. I wonder if they're married.

Anakin is wonderful. He is so supportive, and he knows when to make me laugh, and when to have a serious conversation. In some ways, I would say he's picked up on Obi-Wan's behavior and his politics. But in very crucial ways, he's different. He's stubborn, he's cocky, almost arrogant. That's one reason I decided we shouldn't be together. I'm very different from Anakin. Maybe it's the abuse that I had tolerated that has made me so... apathetic, but we're too different. Padme disagrees. She says we balance each other out. Either way, I lost that argument.

But I can picture myself with Obi-Wan. We're both peaceful, we're both kind, we're not stubborn. Unlike Padme. That's why she's a good politician, because she's stubborn. She doesn't give up. That's why she and Anakin are so good for each other. That's why she should move along, and go to Anakin. So I be with Obi-Wan.

But nothing is stopping me from telling him how I feel, right?