Briseis woke before dawn to intense pain. It felt like her guts were on fire, and she moaned lightly, and making sure she did not make enough noise to wake any of the sleeping Trojans, she crawled through the wet grass until she collapsed, vomiting.
Two weeks had passed since she had spoken with Andromache, and it had been like this for ten days. Every morning she would wake to agonising stomach cramps. She would drag herself out of the camp and retch until she had nothing to throw up, and then she would lie, exhausted, on the wet ground, cursing and hating the man who had made her with child.
This morning was no different. Briseis pulled herself upright, rinsing her mouth out with cold water from the river they were following, all the time cursing Achilles. She hated him for causing her so much pain, so much unhappiness.
And yet still she loved him.
She loved him even as she was doubled over in agony, even as she retched emptily, even as she cursed his name and his child. She loved him, and no power on earth or in heaven would take that away from her.
He was the man who had given her life. Before him she had mot known emotion. Yes, she had felt joy, and sorrow, love and hate. But she had never known emotion as he had shown her. Emotion that would devastate kingdoms, lay waste to nations.
He had taught her to love with more passion than a storm: destroying, devastating, it ripped her heart in two and wreaked havoc on her life. And yet it had lifted her on a gentle breeze, giving her hope when she had none, and life when she had wished for death.
It had always been like that, Briseis thought as she walked wearily back to where her kin slept beside a dying fire. She had never loved, nor hated Achilles completely. Why couldn't it have just been easy? Why could she not have adored or despised him with her whole heart? Why, instead, had pleasure had to mix with pain? Even lying in his arms, after surrendering herself completely to him, she could not find peace.
Briseis closed her eyes and stood still for a moment, throwing her voice out to the gods.
"Let it stop!" she pleaded silently. "Let the suffering end! Let me love him, or hate him: let me find peace."
A/N: short one this time, sorry it's been so long coming, I have been trying to work out what's going to happen to her! If you've got any suggestions I would love to hear them – am struggling a bit right now. Thanks for reading it, and keep the reviews coming in!