Author's Note: I reached sixty pages on my last chapter! That's almost as many reviews, which I have 71, including one with major criticism. This chapter has lots of dialogue in it too, mostly humorous, or my attempt to be funny anyway.
Thanks to –anon-anon-anon-, Rock 4ng3l, yamapi, Zarroc, Agivega, hidden and forgotten (where is the mistake? Tell me if/when you review), ShadowMagicks, and aperfectattitude.
CoffeeandCherryBrandy: If you read any of my author's notes you would know why I did this story the way I did. I'm doing 21st century dialogue for three reasons: one, because I got banned for using the real dialogue and even the paraphrased, and if I get banned again it will probably be permanent; two, because in the original people said it was too hard to understand, and important things happen in the dialogue, and if people don't bother to read it then why write the story in the first place? Three, Artemis is a teenager. Teenagers change. For example, in the Opal Deception, he wears teenagers' clothing and speaks like one. This means that he knows how to act like one, and he can do so, even if it's unwillingly. In the story, for reasons explained above, they talk using this sort of dialogue. It would be strange for Artemis to talk the way he does in front of those people. He is ACTING. The parts with Holly he talks more of the way he usually does. But there is bound to be a lil OOCness since Eoin Colfer did not write a single AF story. And since you were too lazy to read my author's notes, and too lazy to finish critiquing me, I guess you'll be too lazy to read this. But I will try to keep Artemis in character.
Since I don't feel like doing a recap, last chapter: Artemis got in a fight and killed Tybalt and is about to go meet Holly. No, there wont be any explicit scenes, since they're in the flirting stage (in my opinion, there are 'stages' in love: notice, crush, flirt, date, etc, etc) and haven't admitted their love yet. And this is a teen story and I wouldn't write anything romantic in a higher rating. They do have what people would consider romantic action, but they don't regard it as it. We do, though. Anywayz, the story.
Artemis had climbed over the walls of the Capulet estate with great struggle. His arms weren't the strongest in the first place, and they hurt dreadfully after today's workout. The only thing closest to the pain he had experienced was during when he was in the Arctic and he had to hold on to the top of the train. However, he could numb the pain by being proud he was alive, which meant he had decent enough swordsmanship.
Artemis jumped down from the ten foot walls, knees bent, and walked towards Holly's room for the second time. It was more climbing, another ten foot exertion going straight up, but he made it with Holly's help."Holly" was the first word out of his mouth.
"Artemis," she replied, giving him another kiss on the cheek, "you survived."
"Of course," smirked Artemis.
"How was it?"
"My arms hurt," Artemis groaned.
"Really?" Holly smiled, running her hand over his bicep. "Don't look any bigger. If it really hurt, then they would swell with blood."
"Thanks for the description." Artemis looked at his arm, now lonely without Holly's touch. "I'll never think of my arms hurting the same way again."
"The great Artemis Fowl, supposedly the smartest minor on the planet, didn't know how muscles got bigger?" Holly scoffed.
"I prefer studying psychology and environmental issues."
"You admit not knowing something?"
"No one knows everything. Even if you did, it would only be for a second, since everything changes constantly."
"So," Holly said, "describe the fight."
"Well, when I got there, a fight was already about to break out, and then these two guys Mercutio and Tybalt fought each other, Mercutio died, and then Tybalt came back, I killed him, then I went to Friar Lawrence's."
"Is that all? I thought there would be more to it."
"Maybe I don't feel like describing bloody battles in great detail. That's what documentaries are for."
"But there's not one on this."
"Go watch the movie when we get back then, I'm sure it will provide sufficient detail."
"But you won't be in it."
"But the battle's the same, nevertheless."
"But the point is never again will you involve himself in something physical without the great Butler's help."
Artemis glared at her, and was about to say something when Holly smiled. He never had noticed it before, how her face lit up and her eyes sparkled. He stopped glaring, and looked down.
"What?" she asked.
"Nothing."
"Nothing is something."
"It is not."
"Yes it is."
"Well, Holly, what is it then?"
"A word. That's something."
"I meant the whole principle of nothingness. It's like that whole argument with that phrase, 'nobody's perfect.'"
"I'm nobody!"
"No, you're Holly Short, Captain in the LEP, friend of Foaly and Root, around the age of eighty in human years, friend of the Fowl family and their accomplices, and a red head with hazel eyes."
"Is that all you know about me?"
Artemis nodded, once again looking at the floor.
Holly sat on the bed. "Well, it's eighty one actually, and-"
"What's that on the human scale of time?"
"Round twenty."
Six year's difference between us. Whoa. "So what's the whole thing with age?"
Holly sighed. She hadn't been looking forward to a scientific discussion with Artemis. "Well, um, when fairies are born, they grow at about a three times slower than the human baby. Then when they're about twenty, they go to fairy school, and-"
"Explain that when you're done."
"Is that all you want? A description of fairy developmental cycles and education?" she snapped.
"No," he teased sarcastically. "There's something else."
"Shut up. Graduate around, um, maybe seventy five?"
"God, that must be horrible. Fifty five years of schooling?" he scoffed.
"Well, three times as slow developmental rate…"
"In other words around twenty for us. Well if there's two for preschool, thirteen in regular schooling, four for college...that sounds plausible."
"And then onward it's basically like the twenties to thirties for a couple hundred years, and then the decades in human life become a hundred years, and gets faster as we age. And then, normally, a fairy dies around one thousand five hundred years at the human equivalent of eighty five."
"Very interesting," Artemis drawled. "Is that all?"
Holly nodded.
"Good. I'm hungry. Where's the food?" Artemis said this with a grin, a real grin, a playful grin that Holly couldn't resist.
"Didn't you get some on the way here, Mud Boy?"
"No. Now, if you could go down into the kitchens and get me some food, maybe caviar if they had any."
"Am I your servant? And why would you eat caviar? It's fish eggs."
"No, Holly, you are no servant of mine. If you were, I would make you kill those people for me. And caviar happens to be my favorite food, thank you very much."
Holly grimaced. "Fine, Mud Boy, but no caviar." Artemis watched as Holly disappeared down the stairs to get some victuals, hopefully something upper class unlike what he had eaten earlier.
When Holly had found out that Artemis was coming for sure, her mood had taken an unexpected turn. All of a sudden, she felt giddy and excited, which was strange, since she had been in a melancholy mood for the last three days. And now, as she went to get the food from the kitchens, she reminisced on her past actions. She regretted the whole thing with his arm as she thought about it more and more, since he might take it as a romantic gesture instead of a teasing, borderline flirtatious one. His arm was bigger than it was a year ago, but was it only because of that. One thing for sure, he had a long way to go.
She walked down to the kitchens, taking a flight of stairs and peeking in through every door, finally stopping at the one the most people had traveled in and out of.
"Miss Juliet, what are you doing here at this time of night?" someone dressed in what Holly inferred to be a servant's clothes asked.
"I'm really hungry," Holly exclaimed, rubbing her stomach to prove the point.
"Well, there's not much at this time of night. It is after nine, miss. But I'll find something," the servant replied hurriedly, searching through cabinets and boxes. She lifted a platter and discovered three sandwiches and a pot of spaghetti. "Is this enough for your growing appetite, miss?"
Holly gave the food a scrutinizing look. "And what's in the spaghetti sauce and sandwiches?"
"Um, in the sandwiches, Miss, is either ham or turkey, with cheese and mushrooms, lettuce, and tomatoes with some sort of sauce. And the spaghetti sauce includes mushrooms, tomatoes, basil, peppers, and onions."
"Mushrooms!" Holly loved mushrooms.
"So you'll take it?"
"Yes!"
"If you say so, miss. Shall I take this to your room for you?"
"Su-, wait no, I've got it." Holly replied, remembering Artemis.
"Are you sure, Miss?" It's awfully heavy."
"I'll manage." Holly grabbed the platter, now also holding the pot, with ease.
"Wait, you'll need these." The servant handed her a bowl and some silverware."
"Thanks," Holly said, turning her back on the servant and leaving the kitchen.
"You're welcome, miss. Night."
Holly took the heavier platter up the stairs and back to her room. Artemis was there, waiting expectantly. "All right, what do ya want?"
"What do you have?"
"Ham sandwich, two turkey sandwiches, and vegetarian spaghetti. I want some spaghetti and one turkey sandwich without the meat. Frond knows you need it."
"Why would you want two pieces of bread?"
"And cheese, and lettuce, and tomatoes, and mushrooms!"
"Is it safe to assume they don't have lettuce and tomatoes in Haven?"
"It's a fact."
"That's horrible."
"Whatever. Let's eat!" Holly hungrily snatched a sandwich, opened it, took out the turkey, and threw it at Artemis. She proceeded to eat it as Artemis stared.
"And I thought I was hungry," Artemis replied sarcastically, heaping out some spaghetti and eating it daintily.
Holly snorted. "Typical Artemis. Always acting as if he is better than everyone else."
"Well, I do have a higher intellect, and obviously better eating etiquette," he began loftily.
"Shuddup," Holly said with a mouthful of food, "and eat."
"Fine."
There was silence while the pair ate, save for Holly's "mmmm"s and the clicking of silverware. As soon as Artemis finished his bowl, Holly seized the pot and ate from that, too. Artemis stared wide eyed as he munched on his sandwich, and peeked in the pot after he heard a crash as utensils hit the pot. When he looked, he saw all the mushrooms on one side of the pot and the rest of the food mixed together.
"Let me guess," he said at the sight of it, "you don't like mushrooms?"
"How dare you say I hate mushrooms?" she said heatedly, "I love them!"
"Oh, you're saving them for last. I see."
Holly nodded. "Lemme eat," she said with a mouthful of pasta.
"Disgusting eating habits," Artemis scoffed.
Holly glared at him and continued to eat. After finishing the spaghetti, she attempted to grab the last sandwich, but Artemis stopped her.
"Move your hand, Mud Boy! I'm hungry!"
She grabbed his hand and strived to move it from its clutching grip around the sandwich. "No. You're acting gluttonous, Holly, and even though its very hard for me, I'm going to show you how you eat."
Holly laughed. "I'ld like to see you try."
Artemis shoved half of the sandwich into his mouth and chewed with his mouth open with a look of "How can you do this?" on his face. He further proved his point by smacking his lips until Holly snapped.
"Fine, fine, Mud Boy, I get the point," she sighed exasperatedly.
"I won't stop until you call me something other than Mud Boy," the person in question replied with a mouthful of food.
"All right, Mud Person, Mud Man, Mud bastard-"
"Excuse me, but I do have a father, so I cannot be what you call a mud bastard, and I meant something without the word mud in it."
"Fine, boy."
"That makes me sound so juvenile."
What other variations are there of boy and or Artemis Fowl? Holly pondered, using her teasing demeanor to her advantage. "Umm, Art, Fowly, but that sounds too much like Foaly, Arty?"
"No, Holly, there will never be need for you to call me Arty."
"Oh, I see, that's what your parents call you."
Artemis nodded after swallowing the last bite of the sandwich. "And I do believe you were planning to describe fairy education for me."
"That's what you thought. I need to know more about the plan."
"What else do you need to know? You get a potion from Friar Lawrence as an alternative to killing yourself, and that night after finding out about your engagement take it. You are presumed dead, taken to the mausoleum after a brief funeral service, and there I find you, kill Paris, and then take you to Mantua when you wake up."
"I thought you were taking that potion thingy too."
"I changed my mind."
"Well thanks for telling me," Holly retorted.
"Then we go to Mantua, then after the two week deadline, which by then would be nine days later, if you are still a human it is safe to travel as long as we are back in six weeks. If we do go to Greece, it would take two weeks maximum to get there, which gives a total of four weeks traveling and a week recreation. As long as we are back by the sixty first day at the chute, you can convince Foaly to take us back."
"What if it's the two hundredth day?"
"Then we go somewhere else, but that leaves us one hundred thirty nine days, or approximately four months, or a day under twenty weeks."
"Where could we go?"
"In France we could have over thirteen weeks recreation, in Egypt two months, same with Turkey. Of course, there is an additional week to get to the chute."
"Egypt then, I've always wanted to see the place but it drains fairy magic."
"But you do have your magic?" Artemis inquired.
"It's draining in all this light. We won't need it until I go back, right?"
"But where will you find an oak tree by a river bend?"
"By the chute, there's always one."
"Ok, that takes care of that."
"But why can't we go somewhere inland in Europe? Like Macedonia, Hungary, Germany, places like that?"
"It's more expensive. We would have to pay for travel more than food more than we would other places."
"What kind of travel do you mean?"
"Probably horseback. Carriage is too expensive, no matter how much gold we can get."
"Steal, you mean? I'm not doing anything with stolen gold," declared Holly righteously.
"No, as a Capulet, you can ask for gold the day before your pretend suicide to go shopping or something. But ask for a lot. We'll need to get you some new clothes too. You can't go around in your nightdress."
"What about you?"
"I found a bunch in my pocket. About twenty gold pieces. A ship ticket is worth five, I asked."
"So that takes care of all the shipping costs for Greece. What class?"
"First, of course. A Fowl has to travel in style."
"Travel second. It's cheaper but not as bad as third."
Artemis paled. "There is no way a member of a billionaire family is traveling in second class. The disgrace!"
"You're not a Fowl here."
"So? I am in spirit. Aurum Est Potestas is still my motto."
"You haven't changed a bit," Holly scoffed, turning away.
"Who said I had?"
"Never mind," Holly sighed. I just thought he had. Damn. "Let's just get ready for bed." She turned to a closet and took a dress looking similar to a nightgown. She grabbed it and went off to the bathroom, changing into it.
When Holly had grabbed it, she didn't know it was skin tight. She had no idea it was low cut. She had no clue that when she had tossed her dress down a medieval sort of laundry chute, she had to march out there in a skin tight, curve exaggerating, bust exposing nightdress. "D'arvit!" she swore. She poked her head through the door. "Look away, Mud Boy."
"Why?" Artemis asked, intrigued.
"Cuz I said so!"
Not wanting to press the matter, Artemis looked away as Holly dashed across the room and jumped into bed. However, she didn't jump into bed fast enough. "Artemis!" she shrieked. "I said not to look!"
"Well I didn't know it would be this long," Artemis drawled, smirking at the sight of a lady like but exposed Holly, who had not yet pulled the comforters over her revealing gown.
"Sorry," she retorted sarcastically.
"It's ok. I've seen worse."
"Worse? Who else have you seen? Don't tell me you have a girlfriend!"
He chuckled. "My parents would like that, but I wouldn't."
Holly's attention was sparked. "Why?"
"Um," Artemis said, blushing, "Will you laugh at me if I say this?"
"Say what?"
"That I'm only going to marry or date someone I could love for the rest of my life?"
Now it was Holly's turn to blush, but she quickly covered it up. "So we have ourselves two hopeless romantics here. Very interesting. But you cant just figure that out by sight. You have to actually know the person."
"I know, I know," he sighed. "Now can I go to sleep?"
"Why wouldn't you?"
Artemis strolled over to the bed, taking off his wretched cape.
"Artemis?"
"Yes?" He answered, trying to unbutton of the buttons to the cape.
"What are you doing?"
"Isn't this part of out sleeping arrangements?"
"No," she replied, slightly perturbed.
"But we're married," he sighed.
"A Montague and Capulet are, not a Fowl and a Short. You're sleeping on the floor, as it's my bed."
"The floor? I will not!"
"Here," Holly replied, tossing him an extra comforter. "That should make it better."
Artemis pouted, which brought a smile on her face. Artemis looked so cute when angry! "What?"
"Nothing," she said, distracted by the funny expression of his eyes. Those blue eyes… "Now go to bed." Holly blew out the candle, and watched in the moonlight as Artemis rolled around on the floor, wrapped in the comforter. The moonlight shone on his raven hair at the same angle it shone on hers. Artemis had apparently fallen asleep, mumbling in his sleep, to Holly's discontent. She could never sleep with noise! It's gonna be a long night, she realized as he mumbled something about stock prices and gold, a really long night.
Please read- Author's Note: And the end of another long chapter, my longest yet! Twelve pages! I tried to keep Artemis in character as much as I could, and I personally think I did a decent job. Just wondering about Holly. That part about mushrooms I thought was really funny :-) just was it in character? I think every character has an addiction, like for Opal it's chocolate truffles, and for Holly, its mushrooms. Please review! It would be really nice to get to eighty five reviews before I next post!
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