Saint H's Sorry its taken so freaking long to update Author's Notes:
Okay, school has started here, we had our football Jamboree yesterday, my love life has turned sour, and I'm in a generally pissed mood…
…but, bright light at the end of the tunnel? Writing fan fiction makes me happy! (gags at cheeriness in own voice(lose 20 life for getting vomit on himself)) Sorry it took so long, updates for ANY of my stories will only be on WEEKENDS if you are LUCKY enough to get them then. Not to sound like an ass but these fics don't really come first. But they are a good outlette to angry that not only doesn't involve violence but also makes others happy(ish) too. Ahh… Review Responses!
TheKidFromTheSouth Thanks for the list.RaidersRule76 Or is he? Actually I'm pretty sure he is yea…
Im in a kill people mood I eat geeks for breakfast, and floss with nerds… and I umm… drink…. Crumpets! (Sorry, bad week)
MeteoraGirl27 I might just have to do that… or something like it anyway.
Albino-Ghost Your name is really bizarre, just saying.
Triforce90 I can't stand watching sports, ESPN is for nerds… with I floss with after I am done eating geeks… as I stated earlier in my response to Im in a kill people mood.
Terra Logan Soon, cocaine… hopefully.
Spam-in-a-Can I'm glad you liked it.
DIS Scaring people, a good thing until your girlfriend starts riding your friend because you're 'too creepy' oh sorry, did I type that out loud? Hehe, glad you liked it.
Gem W I like disturbing, it's fun.
Shorty I'm updating but these goddamn Review Response just won't end!
Disclaimer: Disclaiming.
Chapter Eight: Yr myny byytchyz!
It was a few weeks into school, and Terra hath join in our adventure by way of yonder plot hole.
So anyway, Vic and Terra were making out doggy style… er, wait… no cancel the doggy style this fic is only rated Teen. So anyway the two were making out in the hallways between class. Why? Because the Author says so, and if anybody disagrees with the Author they shall be stomped upon.
That's right… stomped upon. I'll do it too bitch.
Anyway, pretty soon a freshman known only as Twat came up to Vic and tugged on his shirt.
"What the hell do you want little boy?"
"Oh Vic, lets keep making out doggy style!"
Dammit I said cancel the motherbitching doggy style!
"Uh, Garth said that he wouldn't stuff me in a locker if I told you he wanted to talk to you by his locker as soon as your girl is done tripping all over your hot sexy black-man body." Twat said.
Vic and Terra just stared at the kid.
"Garth said all that?" Vic asked.
"Well, I added the hot sexy black-man body part."
"And that's why you're getting stuffed in a locker." Vic said as he stuffed Twat… in a…. Oh c'mon do I have to spell it out for you?
In TV Watching 101…"Recline in that Lazy Boy Maggot! You're not drinking enough beer son! Eat those goddamn Munchies! What? Are you not American enough to eat Munchies son! You some kind of French pansy sissy man who has no penis or testes and can't even sit on a chair, drink beer, eat Munchies, and watch some good ol' fashion goddamn American TV!" Mr. Sergeant Laz-E-Ass said.
"…" The Mime replied.
"Ugh. If you keep this up I'm going to have to fail you Mime!"
The Mime pretended to be in a box.
"Just try to be more like my star pupil over there!" Mr. Sergeant Laz-E-Ass said pointing to a freakishly green teen.
Gar sat there, watching TV with the greatest of ease! Let's see just what he was watching, shall we?
The Chiefs and the Raiders were playing a football game in Chiefs' Stadium. So, of course, it was an awesome game. Red and gold fans going crazy all over the place having the time of their lives. Ironically the Raiders were kicking the Chiefs asses royally.
Ahh yes, Chiefs fans… the ultimate optimist, just add beer and cheese fries.
So, the Chiefs fans got another losing game to cheer hopelessly for and Raiders fans got another shut out win, a nearly perfect game, until you realized John Madden was doing commentary.
"And as you can see that guy there threw the ball over there and… BOOM! That guy dropped it! I LOVE BOOTBALL!" John Madden said, as oblivious to his spelling error as he is to the fact that he knows jack shyt about football.
The screen switched over to commercials.
"Thirst, whats up bro?" a distinctly white and nerdy guy said coming up to the infamous Sprite mascot.
"Nothing much man! Here, grab a Sprite!" Thirst responded.
"Uh no thanks, I'm not really a Sprite kinda guy."
"Say… say what bitch? I'll kill you!" Thirst said, pulling a switchblade out of nowhere.
"D-dude what's going on!"
"Drink the motherfrucking Sprite or I'll fcking cut you! You understand?"
"B-But I don't like Sprite!"
"I've heard about enough outta you bitch!"
Thirst drove the switchblade thru the kids heart, sending blood flying everywhere, "Obey your Thirst! Show 'em my motto!"
Garth saw Vic coming towards him, "Oh Vic, good thing you're here! Now we can start."
Vic looked around and saw Baran, Atlas, SHERBERT SHOOTING PISTOL(This variation of DICK's name brought to you by TheKidFromTheSouth), and several other guys from school were all there.
"So, what do you want Garth?" STIFFIE asked.
"It's simple, Roy has an undeniable gay fetish for you DICK! And as his best friend I have to find a way to set him straight, in more ways than one! But I can't do it alone, I need all your help, what do you say?" Garth pleaded.
"Sure thing Garth." MR. PEANUT agreed.
"Yea, OK." Baran said.
"You got it buddy." Atlas replied.
"No problem." Several other guys from school said.
"Great, how about you Vic?" Garth asked.
"Hey man, I'm just the token black guy. I'm just supposed to stand here in the background, stay out of the conversation, and say things like 'DAYAMN!' and 'THAT IS WACK!'!"
"Yea, right well I'll take that as a yes."
"So, how are we getting Roy straight again?" DILDO MODLE asked the stoner.
"Well, I was thinking we throw an absolutely killer party and get some of the hottest girls in the school to rape his brains out!"
"DAYAMN!" Vic said stereotypically.
"But what if that doesn't work?" Baran inquired.
"We'll get some gay guys to rape his damn brains out and he'll be so afraid he'll never have another gay thought again!" Garth explained.
The other guys just stared.
"THAT IS WACK!" Vic said stereotypically.
Meanwhile, with Kory…"Ooooh! Ooohh Roy! Drama me! Drama me harder! A little to the drama! I'M DRAMAING!"
(Somewhere, in reality)
"That's just repressed rage from years of having your girlfriends cheat on you." A short kid said, sitting on his motorcycle.
He, along with a girl of about the same height and age were observing a thin teen with wild brown hair and scraggly sideburns yelling at the top of his lungs about Kory dramaing Roy and COCKNBALLS.
"You said it Cae… you said it…" the girl said, shaking her head slowly.
(Now, back to the story and away from stuff you don't really care about)
Meanwhile, with Terra and Jen(Jinx)…Terra pulled her arm back and sent her fist sailing hard into Jen's torso for no reason.
"BAM! Right in the ovaries!" Terra celebrated.
Meanfruckingwhile, with Raven…"OK, I think I'm lost." Raven said as she had gotten lost on her way to English in ancient, dark, and cobweb filled hallways with strange doors to who-knows-where.
She kept descending the halls, not seeing any other way out. Pretty soon the hallways were beginning to look more like dungeons and the decorations became odder and odder still. A suit of armor, strange banners, and she swore she saw a figure in a painting wave at her.
Muffled noises.
Raven turned her head towards the directions of the voices and started moving.
She rounded a corner and came in contact with a pair of young, blonde twin girls dressed in white dresses.
"Come play with us Raven!"
"Yes, play with us!"
"Forever…"
"And ever…"
""and ever!""
Raven merely raised a brow, "C'mon girls, The Shining sucked balls!"
The twins blew up.
Continuing on her journey, Raven flew on quick feet to her destination just outside a room labeled 'Potions'. Inside were screams and Raven leaned in to hear what was being said.
Let's listen too shall we?
"Pro-Professor Snape please don't touch me there!""Shhhhh, just be calm now Harry, but I'm warning you, this may hurt."
Raven backed away from the door and teleported out of there faster than you could say HolyshytHjusthadSnapemolestHarryPotterdudethatissickwrongfunnyandshouldhaveneverhappenedatallgoodnessmeIwanttoseeitagain.
…
…
The door to the potion's lab opened and Marty (Mas) and Merty(Menos) stepped out laughing their little Hispanic behinds off.
"¡Bam¡El derecho en los ovarios!" Merty laughed.
"Nunca diga que otra vez usted engaña. " Marty said plainly.
"Arrepentido…"
In TV Watching 101…Gar sat and watched the TV using his mad TV watching skillzorz!
"And today on Harpo, every audience member won a brand new Gundam!"Tchzzzz(changing the channel)
A man walked up onto the screen, "Has your girlfriend ever cheated on you?"A thin boy with wild hair sat up, "YES!"
"Do you crave revenge in the most cruel and violent way possible?"
"YES!"
"Too damn bad!"
"…"
"…"
"This commercial sucks."
Tchzzzz
A pathetically drawn sea pirate appeared on the screen, "Are you ready kiddies?"
"You suck!" a kid's voice came from the audience.
"Uh… I caaan't hear yo-"
"We said you blow!"
"OK kiddies… Who lives in an old bucket under WANG's sink?"
"…"
"Dish-Rag-Wet-Pants! He's a big queer but he still lives there!"
"…"
"Dish-Rag-Wet-Pants! He's… really a big dyke."
"…"
"Dish-Rag-Wet-Pants! Baran likes group showers!
Dish-Rag-Wet-Pants!
Sponge Bob Squa-er wait uh… this show sucks…"
Saint H's Sorry it Took so long to update Author's Notes:
Well, that's that, hope you like it, Good Night.