Ryou felt numb. There was a slight tingle across the expansive land of his skin, a stinging where the razor had slit down his vein, but otherwise...
"Bleed," he whispered. His eyes moved in and out of focus, at times capturing every last detail of the room and at others only the glinting crimson in abstract detail. A peace unlike anything he had ever felt, powerful and simple, floated over him.
"What are you doing!" a voice barked suddenly, shattering the peace. Panic rose in Ryou. He was going to die.
"Wh-what do you care? I-if I die...," he choked on the end of the sentence and sobbed. He looped his arms just so that he could hold shut the wounds on both wrists. The warm blood almost burned his cool skin.
"If you die that's it! There is no afterlife!" the voice snarled. "You only get one shot! Only one!"
Ryou was crying now. The blood wouldn't stop flowing. It leaked between his fingers like insubstantial wisps and dripped thickly onto the floor. "I'll die...," he breathed.
"Not if you think," the voice said, gentler now. "Think."
Ryou thought. He tried to push down the panic and come up with a plan. He walked, dripping blood onto the clean carpet, into the bathroom. Reluctantly he pried his hands off the wounds and dug through the cabinet. He pulled out a bandage wrap. He tightly covered the wound. The bandage became blood stained quickly. He wiped away his tears with his wrists. He tried to breathe. His vision was foggy.
"Relax," the voice said softly. "Relax, and breathe."
"I want to die," Ryou whispered to it. "They hate me now. They never speak to me, never come over. They avoid me like I'm diseased. I hate it," he said in a soft voice. The voice sighed thickly.
"Listen, you can't let it get to you. Not like this. Don't ever give up. You only have one life."
Ryou sniffed and nodded. Then he curled up into a ball and rested his head. "You hate me and use me, too," he whispered after a long time. The voice paused.
"I use you. I don't hate you," it said firmly. Ryou sniffed and slipped into a deep sleep. A deep sleep filled with crimson eyes and blood-soaked hands. But it was a peaceful sleep. Peaceful as death.