CHAPTER FOUR

Date: February 8, 2005

Day: Tuesday

Dear Diary,

Chris Jericho bought me roses. Two dozens of expensive red roses, to be exact. The silly man forgot to take the price tag off. When I saw how much he paid for them, I was surprised...and incredibly impressed, I must admit. I mean, I'm rich. Beyond rich. And he's pretty rich, too. But to think that he would spend that much money on me, a woman that he supposedly HATES... Well, that's pretty damn shocking. Maybe that's why I can't stop crying right now...

Ok, who am I kidding? That's not the reason I'm crying. Here's the REAL reason. All those years that I was married to Hunter, he never once bought me red roses. NEVER. Yet he claimed to love me so damn much. Funny way to show it. But then, Chris Jericho just waltzes on in here, looking all hot and sexy, and he gives me two dozens of roses. And this is from the man that supposedly hates me! Maybe...he doesn't?

I feel kind of bad right now. Like, I was really icy with him today. A total bitch. I told him to get out of my office, but that was only so he wouldn't see me crying. He would probably have called me a crybaby or something like that. It's hard to believe, but he was actually acting decent in the beginning of our conversation. But I just had to ruin it by acting all high and mighty. What is wrong with me? Seriously! I'm crazy about him, and yet, I treated him like he was beneath me. Not up to par. Lower than my standards. But he doesn't know that he IS my standard. I compare every guy to him, and they all pale in comparison. Really.

I think I hurt his feelings, talking to him the way that I did. Why am I so defensive when I'm around him? I think it's because of everything that I went through with Hunter. Don't get me wrong. The prospect of a relationship with Chris Jericho is reminiscent of heaven or utopia to me. But I can't help but be a little wary about letting a man get close to me now, after the way things ended with Hunter. It's like... I want it...but I'm scared.

Damn, I sound like a virgin who's about to do it for the first time!

I. AM. PATHETIC.

Until Next Time,

Steph

P.S. I'm going to make it up to him one way or another. Really.